Chapter Thirty-Six. Holden
THIRTY-SIX
Holden
“Thoughts?” Rowan asks, her fingers twirling in my hair as I rest my head on her chest and listen to her heart.
“If you’re looking for complaints, there are none. Your person did their job to the best of their ability.” I trace a finger over the top of her bare pussy. “Not a hair to be found. Anywhere. And I truly did a thorough inspection.”
She groans and if I hadn’t just come, the sound would have me already hard again. “I’ll make sure to let her know you approve.”
“I do.” I lift my head up and look at her as I suck her nipple in my mouth and swirl my tongue around its peak. “I most definitely do.”
She looks down at me and cups the side of my face with her hand.
There is a softness, an emotion in her eyes that I can see—can name—but can’t accept if she says it out loud.
For the briefest of moments, I close my eyes and allow myself the weakness to sink into it. To want it. To feel it in return.
Just because it would never work doesn’t mean you can’t still want it. Doesn’t even mean you can’t enjoy it for a little bit.
Just this once.
I clear my throat and rest my chin on her breast, our eyes still on each other’s. “Why didn’t you tell me the Sanctuary was in trouble?” I ask.
“Because it’s not your problem.”
“No, but it’s something you care about.”
“I care about a lot of things, Holden.” She rubs her thumb back and forth over my lower lip. “But I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes in life, caring isn’t enough.”
I struggle to swallow, hearing her words and not wanting to hear them all at the same time. “I know. I definitely know.”
“Wait. How did you know?”
“Spent some time researching Rhett’s comments and the effect they’d have. Came across something on it.” Vague is better.
Her sigh is heavy. “I keep running different scenarios through my head. How I can help them. I’ve even considered using some of my gran’s inheritance she left me when I finally come into it … but I just don’t think that will happen in time.”
When she finally comes into it? I keep my face impassive while my mind turns.
She hasn’t already gotten it? Why the hell not? Is it in probate? Are there stipulations like lump sums at certain ages?
And why does she get something when Rhett didn’t?
I’ve been through his emails. The ones sent to Chad regarding what was left to him—his grandfather’s golf tee collection and where he could stuff them—were quite amusing. It was privilege personified for a man who has squandered away so much.
But Rowan’s inheritance? They didn’t say a fucking word about it.
Is that what I’m missing? The something more she’ll gain from it? Does that mean if I ruin her family, she’ll still have something of her own?
The idea strikes me.
You’re softening, Knight. Trying to salvage what might be left after you detonate dynamite.
Not now. Stop thinking. Stop scheming. Just enjoy.
“I’m looking at property there,” I say.
“Where? In Fairmont?” she asks, surprised.
“Mmm. Yeah. I told you that there were other ways to defeat your brother’s plans.”
“By buying up all the land?” She looks at me with equal parts admiration and craziness.
“Yep. If I’m strategic enough, and buy parcels in a set range and location from others, no company will buy there.
A distribution center, a factory, an assembly line …
all those facilities need blocks of space.
The notion of low-cost warehouses goes out the window when that one asshole, the current tenant—meaning me—holds out and refuses to sell. ”
“That’s brilliant.”
“It works in theory. Now it’s a matter of trying to pick the most strategic spots and hoping the owner accepts my out-of-the-blue offer on his property.”
“Isn’t that a waste of your money though? Something you can’t do anything with?”
“Some things are more important than money, Rowan.”
“Like?”
I shift up on my elbow and press a kiss to hers. It’s slow and seductive and completely opposite of the free-for-all, can’t-get-enough sex we just had.
I sink into the feel of her lips and the taste of her kiss. Do I want to care more?
Maybe I already do.
And maybe I already know the predetermined outcome. There’s no way there can be anything between Rowan Rothschild and me.
This was just supposed to be sex.
This was just supposed to be a complication.
What happens when things get too close in my life? I cut them off.
And yet I’m still here.
Still craving more of her.