Chapter Sixty-Two. Holden
SIXTY-TWO
Holden
I pound on the locked door of the venue’s bridal suite. I’m out of breath from running around this whole goddamn complex trying to find her.
But I have.
And now I’m desperate.
The voices on the other side fall silent.
“Who is it?” someone calls out.
“I need to speak to Rowan, please,” I say through the locked door.
“She’s busy.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“She’s not going to talk to you,” the person says sternly.
“Either she talks to me or I make a scene and object at the wedding.”
Silence.
Then hushed voices. Several It’s fine voiced by Rowan, before the door is opened and a litany of people file out—bridesmaids, I presume—none of whom meet my eyes as they do so.
Except for Sloane. She shoots daggers my way.
It’s only when the parade ends and I step inside that I’m met with Rowan standing in the middle of the room. She has a white robe on, her hair and makeup are done.
She’s fucking breathtaking.
It takes everything I have not to pick her up and haul her out of here. To make whatever promises she needs to be made so that I can claim her as mine.
But I can’t.
Won’t.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she says quietly. “Go away.”
“No. Absolutely not. We need to talk.”
“Why? So you can lie to me some more? So you can use me some more? Build me up to fuck me and my family and everything over some more?”
I take a step toward her and she takes a step back. And this isn’t some game she’s playing; there is real, true trepidation in her expression.
“We … I just need…” Get the fucking words out, Holden. “I can’t change who I am.”
“I didn’t want you to. I loved you because of who you were. But I won’t accept the lies and I can’t be with someone I can’t trust.”
“Isn’t that why we’re where we are? Because I didn’t lie to you? Because I told you I couldn’t promise what you’d asked?”
“Are you from Fairmont, Holden?”
Of all the things I expected her to ask or say, that was not it. “What?”
“Guess who I met last week. Penelope Piccadilly.” It feels like someone has punched me in the gut. What? “Funny how those pesky exes come back at the most inopportune time.”
What the fuck is she talking about?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My voice sounds like gravel over sandpaper when I speak.
“Sure you do, but like all your other lies, you don’t know how to cover this one up, do you?”
“Rowan—”
“Don’t Rowan me.” She yanks her arm out of reach from me, and we stand staring at each other. I’ve been found out and it’s way too fucking early in my timeline of events for this to be known.
My guard goes up. That wall I’ve built around me, the one I’ve let her deconstruct brick by fucking brick, goes back up in an instant. The suit of armor I’ve worn for so goddamn long, the one I took off for her, now suddenly feels like it doesn’t fit anymore.
But I don’t have a choice.
I put it on. I suffer through the stifling suffocation it feels like. And I prepare for battle—because that’s the only thing I know how to do.
“You did all this for what? To turn a profit? To make a shit ton of money? To—”
“That and more.” I shrug nonchalantly, trying to ignore the wedding dress hanging a few feet away. Telling myself this never could have been, so why act like it’s something I’d entertain.
“It’s like you have this vendetta against me. Against my family. To make it hurt the most and make us suffer as much as possible. Only sick fucks find joy in other people’s pain.”
I force a swallow over the acrid taste in my mouth. “We all have our reasons, Sunshine.” Her nickname is laced with sarcasm that I don’t feel in the least.
“Reasons? Reasons?” she screeches. “What about fucking the person you’re trying to screw over?
What about letting them fall in love with you when all you are is lies?
Is that your reason? Are those your reasons?
What about—You know what, I…” She holds her hands up as her voice breaks.
The sound almost brings me to my knees. “I’ve been hurt enough. I’m done.”
I stand before her, stone-faced, while concertina wire tightens around my heart.
She doesn’t know the truth about Mason.
She hasn’t connected my past to her brother and Chad.
That’s the endgame.
Those secrets need to stay close to the vest.
Those secrets are why I came here.
I’ve dealt with pain way worse than this before.
I can handle this. No fucking problem.