Threads of Fate (Fated in the Stars #1)

Prologue

Looking back, Phoenix Rena can recall three moments when his life changed forever.

The first was when Nix was four years old and he met a wolf.

His parents and older sister Ivy had visited his mother’s family in Gatlinburg. They had driven the ten hours by car away from his beloved Florida beach, and to Nix, it had been too long locked up in his car seat and not enough time running around at car stops and gas station convenience stores looking for ice-cold treats.

Nix’s MeeMaw, a sassy Southern woman with big hair and an even bigger personality, had insisted they visit all the local touristy museums and historical sites because they needed to learn something, or what was the point? His sister Ivy, at the ripe old age of seven, had been bored out of her mind, but Nix had always found it easy to find adventure anywhere, marveling at the weird severed heads in jars or the cool pioneer cabin.

After a long two weeks in bland motels and overcrowded swimming pools, nothing thrilled Nix more than the prospect of being in the wild at one of the National parks. Nix loved the outdoors; always tanned and freckled with perpetually scabbed-over knees and dirt embedded under his fingernails that his mother could never get out, no matter how hard she scrubbed.

The hike turned out to be a casual stroll from sign to sign reading about the wildlife they might see, while his MeeMaw drank “grown-up juice” from a cooler cup and gossiped with his Mama about the couple in the trailer next to hers. The trail ran along the actual forest where the large groves of white pine grew so tall that Nix hadn’t been able to see the tops.

But he’d wanted to.

There’d been a picnic lunch with watermelon and PB and J. It hadn’t taken long before the food, combined with the last of the summer heatwave, had his father falling into a rumbling snooze atop their checkered blanket while the “girls” went to the gift shop. Nix hadn’t intended to wander off, but the flash of a gray tail in his periphery had him following before he could think about all his Dad’s warnings about scary people and dangerous places.

He imagined it might have been a Bigfoot? But did Bigfeet (Bigfoots?) have tails? Nix hadn’t known but he was going to find out. It turned out that the tail belonged to a gray wolf and while it was not a Bigfoot, it was still very big and stopped to make sure Nix was following at every twist and turn. When he finally stumbled into a clearing, it was to find the wolf was already sitting on a flat rock near a person who looked a lot like Mrs.Claus. She was short and soft-looking, with long white hair and a smile. But her dress wasn’t red with fake fur, it was long and white and shimmered in the sunlight.

Hello, Austin.

Ew. No. No one called him Austin unless he was in trouble. Was he in trouble?

“Am I in trouble?” Nix whispered, edging backward the way he’d come, just in case he wasn’t supposed to be near this cool waterfall with its clear turquoise water. Nix could even see a multitude of brightly colored fish swimming in circles.

Of course not. Come sit for a minute.

Now, Nix knew about stranger danger. Knew not to accept candy or get into white vans, but she was Mrs. Claus and even if it wasn’t the North Pole, she seemed nice. Maybe she would put a good word in with Santa if he was a good boy, so he’d sat at the edge of the water and dropped a hand in, expecting to feel frigid water, but instead, it was silky-smooth and warm. The small fish skimmed excitedly over his hands kissing him with small nibbles, and brushed up against his fingers with their shiny bodies.

“It tickles!” He exclaimed and Mrs. Claus smiled right back. A large fish bumped Nix’s hand particularly hard, and it startled him enough that he’d dropped a single shoe-clad foot into the warm water to gain his balance. “Crap!” Eyes wide, he checked to see if he really was in trouble this time. Mama didn’t tolerate swearing, and maybe they didn’t either.

That’s alright, Austin. You’re not in trouble. Mind the water now. She moved closer to pet the wolf still lying on the rock; settled, but still keeping its eyes on him. Nix wasn’t afraid though, not one bit; which he was sure Ivy would tell him was totally cray-cray.

Animal people were nice people, right? Even Nix knew that. “I’m Phoenix or Nix. If you wanted, ma’am.”

You are? What lovely manners. Alright, Phoenix it is.

For the first time since he’d left the beach at home, Nix hadn’t felt like he’d wanted to run. The nice lady and Nix sat by the waterfall while she’d petted the wolf and Nix had petted the fishes. It was nice. She didn’t pinch his arm or pull his ear like MeeMaw, and she didn’t bug him with questions like Mama. She just let him be . The sun was warm but not too hot, and there was a breeze that ruffled his hair like gentle fingers.

After a bit, the wolf moved to the edge of the clearing, while the sun hid behind an enormous cloud. The clearing smelled like rain, the trees, and cookies, and it made his tummy growl.

“I should go, I guess,” he’d said. “My Mama will be looking for me. But, um…thank you for sharing your pond and your fishies.” He’d known instinctively that they were hers . That everything in the grove was hers. Maybe even him.

She seemed to float as she inched toward him and again, Nix thought he should be scared, but he totally was not. Even if she moved like a ghost from one of the scary movies his parents liked to watch.

Goodbye, Phoenix. Thank you for visiting with me.

And with that, she kissed him high on his cheek. She hadn’t asked and Mama always said you should ask, but it hadn’t bothered him. Maybe she just hadn’t known?

“You ought to ask before you kiss a person, ma’am. Okay? Maybe you didn’t know, so this time I’ll let it be okay. But next time, you should,” he’d said, as respectfully as he could.

The glade filled with her tinkling laughter and it seemed to light up everything in a silver light. It was pretty, and he really wanted to stay because this place made him feel calm and happy, but also like something big might happen. Like the feeling he got before the drop of a rollercoaster.

Oh, my darling boy. Yes, you are so right. I will certainly ask next time. Thank you. Her voice was so melodic, and it was then he realized that her mouth wasn’t moving. Huh.

“I should maybe get back before MeeMaw has a freak-out. Bye, ma’am.” He backed away, and with a final wave, he let the wolf lead him out of the glade.

Goodbye, Phoenix Rena. Be good and I’ll see you soon.

His mother would tell the story later that when they’d found him, he’d insisted that he’d seen a large wolf and had followed it off the trail and that he’d met the summer-y Mrs. Claus who wasn’t really, and that she’d kissed him on his cheek even though she hadn’t asked. That she had called him Phoenix because he wasn’t in trouble. His shoe and sock had been soaking wet, and he’d rambled about how good she’d smelled; like cookies. Told them he’d been polite.

Instead of being proud, MeeMaw had looked at him strangely and asked him where he’d gotten a wet shoe. Nix tried to describe the crashing whoosh of the water and the rainbow of fishes, but she had scoffed. There were no waterfalls in this area, and certainly no rainbow fishes. She’d scolded him for walking off and pinched him for lying. But he knew he hadn’t lied; Nix was a good boy, after all.

The next day at a road stop just outside of Chattanooga, halfway home, his mama noticed a little heart-shaped freckle on his cheek that she was sure hadn’t been there before. Years later, the story of the freckle had turned fantastical. His mum would say that an angel had kissed him there and because he was so full of love for all people and all living things, it was shaped like a heart.

***

The second was when Nix was fourteen and he met a boy.

Well, almost a man. Nix had fallen in love at first sight. He’d answered the door at their rented beach house, and Ivy’s sort-of-boyfriend—but really just a friend—had been standing there, holding a backpack with his surfboard strapped to the top of his old, tomato-red Corolla. He was tall, with bleached-blond hair, eyes the color of forests, and a smile that made Nix’s cheeks burn.

The boy had returned his stare, with wide eyes, and with his nose in the air, until he’d dropped the backpack to stick out his hand. “I’m Jamie. Hi.” Realizing he had just tried to shake another kid’s hand, Jamie smoothly rubbed his neck instead.

“Nix. Uh…I’m Nix.” His heart had pounded so hard, that Nix felt like he might fall over.

“Can I come in?” Jamie had smiled; dimples deep in his cheeks and faint freckles on his nose.

In those thirty seconds of painfully awkward introductions, Nix knew his life would never be the same. He was in love.

So he smiled right back.

Jamie’s jaw dropped and Nix had laughed, but just stepped back to let him in, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this boy liked him, too.

The following week had been amazing, and they’d spent it getting tanned and even more freckled. Ivy hadn’t minded that Jamie paid more attention to Nix than to her at all. There had been a pretty girl two houses up on the beach, and Nix guessed his sister and Jamie had talked about it because she was over there more than she was with the Renas.

There’d been campfires where Jamie had told him about his music and his dreams. Jamie had tried to teach him to surf and how to build the best sandcastles, all while looking at him like Nix was the best thing to exist. His everything.

By the end of their vacation, Nix’s parents hadn’t hesitated to let the “responsible and respectful” Jaime Rhodes drive the two hours back home with Nix in shotgun, music turned up loud and lips sticky with the vanilla ice cream they’d stopped for along the way.

Watching Jamie sing the latest rock country ballad while looking at Nix out of the corner of his eye had made a new heat build in his belly because Jamie was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. Desire had been new to Nix, and even though he didn’t know what exactly he wanted; whatever it would be, he knew it would be with Jamie.

That feeling was enough to have him confessing: “I really like you, Jamie. Like really, really.”

Jamie had smiled so big, not surprised, but certainly thrilled. He’d gripped the steering wheel tightly. “Nixie. Shit. I really, really like you, too.”

It sounded like there was a “but” coming. “But you’re still young, and I’m way older, right? So for now, we’ll be like best friends. Okay? Because…you need to grow up before we can be anything else, yeah?”

Nix wasn’t disappointed because being anything of Jamie’s was a really great thing.

So friends they were. The best of friends. Friends who went places, just the two of them; to the beach, arcades, and the movies. They held hands and hugged the best hugs Nix had ever had. Jamie sang songs and played his guitar over the phone on video calls late at night after his parents had gone to sleep, or in his car as they sat in the parking lot of McDonald’s while they dipped french fries into vanilla milkshakes.

But even if there weren’t any kisses, those sure were dates and if Jamie wasn’t aware of it, then he wouldn’t feel obligated to stop them, so Nix kept his mouth shut. It was the best spring and summer Nix had ever spent, and he had not expected it to come crashing down so soon.

When Jamie told him he was going to Nashville at the end of the fall semester to make music, Nix had been so proud. He’d already been scouted for a brand new reality show where he would be paired with other up-and-coming talented artists. Jamie liked to perform, but he loved to make music most of all, and making connections was his biggest goal, whether or not the show ever aired. Nix had swallowed his sadness and hugged him until they were both breathless and then they’d had pizza to celebrate.

He’d been so proud, but that night he’d also cried so hard he’d thrown up.

After that, he tried not to count down the days and to live in the moment. Fall and the start of school came and went and Nix had largely blocked it from his mind. It was easily done right up until the week of Christmas vacation. They wanted to spend every waking minute together, and they’d found themselves at the mall again for lack of anything better to do. There’d been a photo booth and despite the four dollars it cost, Jamie had insisted. Nix had even gotten a quick cheek kiss in at the very end and Jamie had been so red in the face; happy in spite of how strict he tried to be with that kind of thing.

He gave Nix that last picture and said he’d keep the others safe until Nix could come to Nashville for school. Jamie had explained that he wouldn’t be back in Florida for a few years, that the filming schedule was strict, and that his dad was unsupportive. Of what Jamie hadn’t said, but Nix suspected it had been less about the music and more about not liking Nix.

The night before Jamie was to leave, they’d walked down to the football field and jumped the fence, then lay in the wet grass and looked up at the stars. Jamie had held his hand, and they’d both cried. Despite the plans for the future, promises of video calls, and maybe even a visit to Nashville someday soon, they both knew it wouldn’t be the same.

That night Nix slept poorly—or maybe even not at all—after Jamie had gone home, and when the sun had come up, he’d begged his mom to drive him the ten minutes to Jamie’s house so he could have a few last hours together.

He’d arrived just in time for Nix to catch him red-handed, throwing bags into the trunk. That Jamie would try to sneak away had made him so mad. Didn’t he know Nix loved him? Didn’t he know Nix felt like he was going to die without him?

When the Rhodes had honked their horn and Jamie had given him his first kiss, it made him even sadder that it had been a goodbye. Nix had felt something crack open in his chest and he hoped that soft press of lips through snot and tears would help him fight back the ache that was sure to be overwhelming in the days to come.

But the fear that weighed him down as he watched Jamie’s car fade from view was like nothing he’d felt before. There was an all-consuming dread that this separation would set into motion something terrible; something that would make living unbearable.

And when Nix was nineteen, he met a man who would prove him right.