Chapter Nine Jay
Jay
Jay plans to leave his mates in the capable hands of Chef Gideon, who’s working on doling out sandwiches and pre-cut fruit. Gideon had been off since his breakdown, but Leo had reassured him they had it under control.
Jay trusts Leo to tell him if he has anything to worry about. He doesn’t have to be privy to every single thing going on under their roof, but it is comforting to know they have it covered. Whatever it was. He’s just happy Gideon is okay for now.
Grayson tries to make him eat a little something before he sees Nix, but his stomach is already in a state of rebellion. Before he can sneak off, though, Luca climbs him like a tree and scents him within an inch of his life. It works like a charm because Jay leaves the room smelling like mocha and love.
Nix’s ICU room is immediately beside the hall from the waiting room. He can hear the steady beeps of the machines and the whoosh of the respirator as it pushes life-giving oxygen into Nix’s damaged lungs. In the far corner of the room is his dedicated ICU nurse. She’s busy at her desk in the corner, typing on a tablet and recording some data from her monitors when she meets his gaze with sympathy. He has yet to look at Nix, and she seems to understand how hard it will be.
“Hi, Jay, right? I’m Hannah. I’m one of Nix’s designated care providers. I’ll be here for another hour, and then we’ll make a shift change. Do you want to come in? He’s resting now. I can answer questions you might have, too.” Her kindness makes tears prick his eyes.
“Can I sit with him? I don’t want to hurt him.” The pain in his chest is so strong now that he rubs at it, the fear buzzing in his head louder and louder.
Why can’t he look at his mate?
“Of course. The research says he can hear you. So, talk to him, too. His right side is actually pretty good, so I’ve pulled a chair over if you want to sit there.” She pauses, “It’s okay to be scared, but he’d be happy to know his family is here. I’ll give you a minute. Take your time.”
When she heads back to her desk, Jay’s eyes are finally drawn to Nix. Like he had when they’d brought him in from surgery, the bond snaps into place. Stronger than it had been nine years ago when they’d been kids. Stomach in his boots, he gingerly takes Nix’s wrist in his hand. He rubs the small patch of undamaged skin and tries to find Nix’s sweet scent underneath the blood and antiseptic.
Jay shifts closer, positioning himself to press his nose to Nix’s wrist. There it is—amidst the stormy mix of thunder, cinnamon, basil, mocha, black currant, and spicy rum—a faint, unmistakable hint of vanilla. The scent breaks him. A gasping sob tears through the room, raw and loud, as Hannah quietly slips out into the hall.
“Hey, baby boy. I’ve missed you so much.” Jay’s voice cracks and he lets the tears flow. “I’m not going anywhere now. You’re safe. Don’t try to wake up; the doctor says you need to sleep for a bit. But when you’re ready, I want to introduce you to the others. They love you already. I—” Jay sobs, “I told them all about you, Sunshine. I’m going to fix everything.” Jay puts his head on the mattress, nose pressed to Nix’s wrist, praying for the first time in his life.
No one asks Jay to leave the room, and the nurses move around him. Hannah says she will be in the next day at 7:00 AM, and her nursing partner, Yasmine, is just as nice. They work around him to change the four bags of various fluids, including some enhanced nutrition, morphine, and whatever keeps Nix in a coma. His vitals are stable, and Jay texts Finn to say that they can start coming in one at a time.
Finn comes first, and he is uncharacteristically timid, but Yasmine is having none of it. She hands him the tablet so he can review Nix’s vitals for himself and even gives him her stethoscope so he can perform an examination. He does so, explaining to Jay (and Nix) what he’s doing every step of the way.
Jay is overwhelmed with pride and gratitude that they have Finn. When he’s done and returns the equipment to Yasmine, he climbs into Jay’s lap, much to her teasing enjoyment. Face red, he then tells Nix all about what their family is up to in the waiting room.
“I’ll be back soon, Nix. See you soon.” He lifts Nix’s wrist to his nose and presses a small kiss there while inhaling deeply. “I think Luca is next.”
“Okay. Proud of you, puppy.”
“Jay!” Finn admonishes when Yasmine snorts. “Not a word out of you, please, Yaz.”
Luca is holding a blanket when he comes around the corner. Jay can tell it’s been heavily scented by the pack as he places it gently over Nix’s legs and takes Finn’s place in Jay’s lap.
“I know he can’t smell it, but it makes us feel better. Like if he can’t be in the nest, we’ll bring it to him.” Luca has yet to touch Nix, and Jay is surprised. Luca is as tactile as they come.
“You can touch him on this side, baby.”
“I’m afraid to hurt him any more than he already is and…he can’t tell me ‘no.’ Ya know?”
He’s not wrong.
“He’s had that taken away from him already. I don’t want to make it worse. That seems important.” Luca brings Jay’s hand up and rubs it against his cheek, soothing them both. Jay loves that Luca is so attuned to his instincts, and it makes him smart about people, too.
“Nix was always really happy to hold hands. You wouldn’t mind that, would you, Nix? I think he’d be okay if you touched him here, just to say hello. If you want?”
“Really? Okay,” Luca says with a happy wiggle. “Hey, Nix. I know you’re probably scared, right? I–” He looks at Jay for reassurance, and when his alpha nods, he continues; there’s a small smile and a burst of mocha. “It’s okay to be scared, especially when it…hurts. Jay says that if you’re scared you can always come to him, alright? He won’t let anyone hurt you anymore.”
He hums a sweet song Jay’s not heard before, reaching out with his pinky finger, gentle as a butterfly’s wing, to touch Nix’s. His fifteen minutes fly by, and soon Leo is standing by the door.
He’s cleaned up from whatever happened outside with Gideon and has changed into an extra shirt, which is probably not his, judging by the way it’s stretched to its limits across a broad chest sculpted in the gym every day. His short, wavy black hair is a testament to his stress as it’s still sticking up all over, framing his tired brown eyes.
“Leooo,” Luca whines. “I’m not done. Nix and I are writing a song here.”
“You are? I’m sure it’s a banger. But it’s my turn, baby. I think Finn is sleepy though. Go see if you can sing him what you’ve got so far.”
“Finn snuggles? Yes! Bye-bye, baby. Bye, Daddy.” Jay blinks. It’s been ages since Luca called him that and never outside of sex (Jay will not admit to a Daddy kink a mile wide, no he won’t, and most certainly not here). Leo’s chuckle follows him out.
“Daddy, eh? Haven’t heard that in a while.” He approaches the bed on Nix’s left side, careful of the casts and fluid bags hanging off that side of the bed. Once again, Yasmine snorts.
Jay shakes his finger at his beta and smiles.“No. Shut up. You be quiet, lest your secrets…” He likes to think that if Nix can hear them, he’d laugh, too.
“Alright, alright. I’m not ashamed of my kinks, Jaybird, but for the nurse’s sake, truce?”
Yasmine deadpans, “Yes, please. For the nurse’s sake.”
The smile on Leo’s face fades as he pulls the pack blanket up a bit, gently running a finger over the bed sheet like he’s cataloging in real-time all of Nix’s injuries. “Hi, Nix. I’m Leo. I’m happy to finally meet you. Jaybird has told us all about you. He loves you a lot. Even when he thought he’d never see you again, he made sure we knew all about you.”
Jay is so tired of crying, but Leo’s words make him feel glad that he’d made Nix a living memory for his mates.
After Leo, it’s Grayson’s turn.
The enigma stands carefully by the door, and Jay can’t place his expression. When Jay beckons him over, he leans in and presses his lips to the top of Nix’s head. Breathing deeply, he pants, eyes closed. A tremor ripples through him, and his breaths come quicker—sharp and uneven—before he abruptly straightens. “I’m going to…” And then he’s gone.
The alarms sound almost immediately, as Nix’s heart rate beats through the roof and Jay’s own seems to follow suit. What was that ?
Shortly afterward, Yasmine put a stop to visitors for the night, and by the time they had Nix stable, it was 3:00 AM.
“Jay, you should go to be with your family. We’re going to be checking sutures and drains in the next hour. I just want him to be stable again for a bit first. I’ll come get you if anything comes up. I promise.”
“I can’t leave him, Yasmine. I just found him again.”
“I can’t claim to understand what that feels like, but your mates need you too, no?”
Jay can’t argue but vows he’ll be back in an hour. His mates are sleeping in an enormous pile in the middle of the waiting room floor, making his heart soar, seeing them together and safe. Luca is lying on top of Leo, whose head is on Grayson’s belly. Rowan has his arm over Grayson’s chest, arm bent so he can grasp Leo’s hair. Grayson’s and Rowan’s heads are resting on a cushion stolen from the couch, where Finn and Gideon are curled up like spoons in a drawer. For once, Gideon has let Finn be the “big spoon.” Jay reaches into his pocket for his phone, hoping his battery has enough charge for a photo.
“If you take that picture, I will not be responsible for my actions. Just lie down before you fall down.” Gideon’s cat-like stare means business.
Sinking onto the other couch, Jay hangs his head, planning to just sit until he can convince Yasmine to let him back in. Without warning, he finds himself on his back, with Gideon on top of him like a rather prickly weighted blanket.
“What about Finn?”
“He’s out and beyond exhausted. I’m more worried about you. Is Nix okay? Gray was shaken when he got back from seeing Nix, and he won’t talk about it. Did something happen?”
“I don’t think so?” Jay is mystified, too. “He scented him, and Nix’s heart rate spiked out of control. But he’s stable now. You know how sensitive Gray is to emotions and smells. Maybe my angst and the smell of sickness got to him. He wasn’t sick or anything, again, was he?”
“No. He just jumped Rowan and started huffing him like he was at a Yankee Candle store, and spiced rum was the Scent of the Day. You’re probably right. You reek of sadness and hospital. Tomorrow, I’m bringing you some stuff so you can wash the stink off you.”
“It’s hard to believe you when your nose is in my neck, love.”
“Are you complaining? No? Good. Now shut up and let me do my job here.”
“What’s that, again?”
“To love you, jerkface. That’s what.” So Jay lets him do his “job” and rests his eyes for just a few minutes.