Chapter Fourteen Grayson
Grayson
The last three days have been some of the hardest Grayson has ever had in his short life. Not more than the rest of his pack, obviously, with a single exception:
Something is wrong with him.
Grayson’s pack would say he has high emotional intelligence. Though sometimes accused of being a fool, his real-life skills and instincts prove otherwise. Romantic yet practical, passionate yet reasonable, Grayson knows himself well—perhaps too well.
When he discovered that Jay’s Nix hadn’t died in a car accident eight years ago, it changed everything. Knowing they were still eight—a never-ending infinity of love and life—fulfilled something he hadn’t even dared to name.
For years, he’d carried an unspoken sense of absence. It felt cliched and ungrateful to admit, given his six incredible mates who love and cherish him as fiercely as he does them. But that ache lingered, unshakable and silent.
Unlike Luca, whose emotions are open for the world to see, Grayson holds himself tightly in check. Luca’s freedom to live instinctively is something Grayson envies because since presenting, he’s been unable to simply be . Grayson has always felt his grip on the wolf needed an iron fist and a metal cage with a hefty lock.
Because Grayson’s wolf is loud. Outwardly, he maintains a light-hearted persona, channeling his energy into his art, his work designing beautiful structures and loving his mates in ways they need. But the older he’s gotten, the more he’s learned to compartmentalize, keeping the darker parts of himself hidden. Or so he thought.
Imagine his horror, when he first scented Nix—while Nix was still human—and his wolf erupted. He’d felt the urge to attack Jay for the right to be Nix’s prime alpha. No matter that Grayson had no intention of leading the pack, he’d just wanted to take Nix for himself and fuck the consequences. It is so contrary to Grayson’s motto of restraint that it means he’s had to look his wolf dead in the eye and know the past ten years have been for nothing.
Every day since, Gray has worried about doing just that; taking Nix for his own no matter who he has to ruin. No matter that these men are his mates, fated and loved, bonded forever. And it’s only getting worse. He’s spending every waking minute while waiting for word on Nix’s healing, researching every corner of the internet for answers about why he feels like this and dreading ( yes, dreading) the moment when he’ll be faced with their mate, awake and more alluring than the sun.
How is he possibly going to face them all—face Nix — without tearing into him, overwhelmed with the desire to fuck and to own? To merge them, and for once in his life, finally feel whole? Grayson hates himself the most when he looks too closely and sees only greedy anticipation.
After going on three days of constant research, he is no further along in finding an answer. He should probably tell someone what’s going on, and sure, he’s been close a few times—Finn or Leo, given that he is avoiding Jay as much as he is Nix. But every time he thought about speaking up, he couldn’t do it. The pack already carries so much—he refuses to be one more thing they have to worry about.
He’ll figure it out. He has to.
So now he’s awake early the morning after they had gathered to watch Jay turn Nix. Grayson removes his nose from Luca’s armpit, the beta’s mocha scent the only thing helping Grayson battle against the sultry aroma seeping from Nix’s room.
That’s the other thing: since the moment he’s scented Nix, even as a human, his dick has been in some state of hardness. If it weren’t so awful, it might be funny as he entertains the idea that maybe he’s permanently damaging himself. After all, the commercials tell you that you should seek medical help for erections that last longer than twenty-four hours. This is already way past that.
It’s so unlike him. As an enigma, he’s hard-wired to need sex more often than a regular alpha, but it has always been a point of personal pride to control his urges, and he often chooses to do without.
He has always believed that abstinence (to a degree) builds strength of character, and when he does give in, the release is next level. Finn tells him he’s edging himself and that it’s an actual kink, one that’s not common with Weres given their refractory period, high libido, and general animal instincts to bite, fuck, and breed . But it works for him, and his mates respect and enjoy it in their way.
This isn’t even the longest he’s been without, having been with Rowan the day they found out about Nix and Jay the night before that, so he shouldn’t have been so worked up. His shame surges with the need to mate Nix. He’d been violated in the worst ways and was fighting for his life, but even the shame wasn’t enough to kill Grayson’s hard-on.
“Gray?” Luca pushes his ass back in invitation, still mostly asleep. Finn made them promise there would be no fucking in his workplace, and Gideon backed him up. Only Luca and Rowan had balked a little, the horny exhibitionists that they are, but even they won’t go against Gideon.
At that moment, Grayson knows he has to go home. He isn’t getting any answers here, and the constant temptation is wearing his resolve not to challenge his pack alpha.
Pressing his lips to Luca’s ear and nipping the lobe, he whispers, “Let’s go home for a bit today. What do you think? Gideon might want to go home for supplies and stuff for Jay.”
“Really? Will you fuck me in the nest, Gray? Let’s ask if we can go. We can say goodbye to Nix and make sure he knows we’ll be back.” Unshowered, hair flying everywhere, and completely naked, Luca is a beautiful sight as he scurries to open the discreetly closed door to the corridor.
“Luca Wilde. Where are your pants?” Finn asks, with his eyes still closed.
“Finn, how did you know? You aren’t even looking!” He stomps his bare foot.
“I know you better than you know yourself. Put them on.” He cracks a single eye and holds out Luca’s sweatpants. “Has anyone seen my shirt?” Grayson can tell Finn thinks he might have to chase a naked Luca into the corridor and plans on being prepared, but Luca cuts his losses and sits on Leo’s belly so he can pull his pants on.
Grunting, Leo groans, “Why must you always sit on us? What has the furniture ever done to you?”
Giggling, Luca finishes with his shirt and pulls on his shoes. “Big Guy, if your ass saw as much traffic as mine, you’d prefer laps and tummies, too. She deserves the best,” smacking his hip for emphasis. Even Finn laughs, because: facts. “Can I go ask Gideon now?”
Luca pulls the door open, and the resulting transfer of air floods the room with the most delicious scent. It is Nix in the purest form. His human scent ramped up to a million. It flows right into Grayson’s wolf brain, triggering everything dark that Grayson hides. His fangs drop, muscles bunching, and in an instant, Grayson is out the door and into Nix’s room, barreling into an excited Luca and knocking him over in the process.
His gaze locks on the biggest threat in the room: Jay. Vision bleeding red, fangs bared, and claws extended, his wolf surges forward in challenge. In that moment, nothing exists but the primal urge to claim what’s his. Mine. Mine. Mine. The word pounds in his head, drowning out everything else.
What he doesn’t expect is for Rowan to tackle him, just as he feels something sharp in his side.
Before he loses consciousness, he sees Nurse Yasmine holding a tranquilizer gun.
“I am hella tired of this alpha bullshit, Mr. Rhodes,” he hears as his vision fades out.
“Yasmine, I cannot blame you one bit.”