Chapter 7 #2
I push his head away.
“ Jitter ,” Sabrina says. “Who’s a good boy who wants a steak dinner?”
I was wrong.
Jitter wasn’t whining before.
This is a whine. A sad, mournful, I love steak dinners but I can’t move kind of deep, thick, long whine.
“Aww, he knows you’re a dog person.” Zen holds a hand out to me. “Can you move? Or do we need to call for help?”
“I can move.”
“You’re acting like you’re eighty-six instead of thirty-something.”
“That young?” Sabrina says to them. “And how old are you?”
“Do not answer that.” I pull myself up to my full height.
The dog presses against my legs and almost takes me down again, but Sabrina grabs my arm and steadies me.
Lightning streaks up my arm and hits a bulls-eye in my chest, and I’m back in Hawaii, strolling down a dark sidewalk toward my hotel, with her grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the way of a bicyclist hurtling down the path like I didn’t have over a foot and at least eighty pounds on her.
One more good deed? I’d asked her.
She’d licked her finger and made a tally mark in the air, and I’d gone hard as a diamond.
Having her touch me again?
Nearly the same reaction.
Fucking hell.
I still like her. I understand why she ghosted me. I respect what she’s doing here.
This woman has the power to hurt me, and she’s already demonstrated she will without hesitation under the right circumstances.
I jerk back, keeping my balance out of sheer determination to not mortify myself again.
“You’re gonna want boots with better tread,” she tells me as if we’re normal acquaintances and not two people who slept together under questionable circumstances. “We get plowed last in our little circle, and since we face north on top of that, we tend to be the iciest around here.”
Do not think about plowing her. Do not think about plowing her. Think about ice. Icy, cold, nasty ice .
“Find a new rental,” I tell Zen.
“I got your suitcase, mister!” The little girl who was sitting on Sabrina’s step dashes over the icy parking area like it’s nothing, dragging my suitcase behind her. The other one is lying on its side next to the dog.
“That was super nice of you, Aspen,” Sabrina says.
“I know,” the girl replies.
Zen snickers.
Sabrina smiles at her. “We should get you home. You ready?”
“Can Jitter come?”
“That’s my plan. Go get him a treat and call for him.”
The young girl dashes off to Sabrina’s porch.
“And I should get you inside,” Zen says to me. “Can you walk? Does it hurt?”
“I’m fine.” I’ll be bruised, but I’m fine.
My ego’s more at stake here.
I bend and grab Zen’s backpack while Sabrina and her dog hover.
“Thank you,” I say crisply. “You can go.”
She doesn’t break eye contact. “If I’d known who you were in Hawaii, I would’ve told you who I was. I just want you to know that. The café isn’t a game to me. It’s my life.”
God, she’s pretty.
How the hell does she have the right to be that pretty? And why the fuck can’t I quit noticing?
“And I’m sorry I lied when I said I was coming back,” she adds.
“I don’t know what your relationship is with Chandler, but mine’s pretty shitty.
I just didn’t know how shitty until that day.
Family and friends are everything to me, and I’d just lost two of mine.
I was in a bad place. I won’t—I won’t lie to you again. ”
“But you’ll gossip?”
“Bean & Nugget is my life . It’s my home . Name your price and I’ll buy it back.”
“Not for sale.”
She swallows as she stares up at me. “Please don’t ruin it,” she whispers.
I don’t have a fast answer.
She hovers, waiting, just long enough for me to know she knows I’m not that quick on my feet.
The worst part, though?
The worst part is when she blinks rapidly like she’s on the verge of tears.
It makes me want to wrap my arms around her and hold her tight and protect her from the bad things in the world, the same way I wanted to when we were in Hawaii.
Except I’m the bad. I’m the bad in her life right now.
“I can help you with anything else you want here,” she says. “But please don’t ruin my home.”
She turns away, reiterating her offer of a steak dinner to Jitter with her voice almost normal, and I stand there.
Just stand there.
I should go inside.
Shower in scalding hot water.
Eat. Put on seven layers of clothes and get warm.
Instead, I stand there and watch Sabrina stroll away, the swing in her hips subtle enough that I only notice because I can’t take my eyes off her ass.
The dog whines one last time, licks my gloved hand, and then trots after her while the little girl on the porch calls his name and holds up a dog treat.
“Aspen?” a woman calls from around the corner.
“I’ve got her, Marley,” Sabrina calls back. “She wanted to say hi to Jitter.”
Zen’s watching me with the front door propped open. They’ve already gathered the luggage and shoved it inside while I was busy staring at a woman I shouldn’t want and will not have. “She’s already figured out you’re changing things?”
“She’s a gossip.”
“And you like her.”
I don’t answer.
They’re right.
I still like her. Despite not trusting her, despite planning on doing exactly what she doesn’t want me to do, despite not wanting to like her, I do.
Zen sighs. “Uncle Grey, you ever consider that vengeance doesn’t suit you?”
I’ve disliked that word more with every passing minute, and not just for the knot that’s been growing in my stomach all day. Could I open a kombucha bar somewhere else?
Yep.
But it wouldn’t hurt Chandler Sullivan if I did that, now would it? “Or maybe being Super Vengeance Man isn’t supposed to be easy.”
They crack up. “Inside with you. Time for a shower, clean clothes, and food. And then I’ll show you the super cool puzzle I got you with my credit card last month.”
A new puzzle should make me happy. I’ve given up contemplating new fields of research that might interest me and let my mind engage in puzzles instead since I found out what Vince did, and so far, it’s working.
Tonight though?
Tonight, Zen might be right.
I might not be cut out for vengeance.
Should be a good thing, right? Means I’m not like my family.
Just this once, I wanted to be the badass asshole getting justice.
But as I cast one last glance at Sabrina’s front door, all I can think is that this isn’t nearly as straightforward and easy as it should be.