Chapter 14
Emma
After seven years of gaslighting by my former fiancé, if there’s anything I dislike more than mind games, I don’t know what it is.
Which is why I’m charging into Bee & Nugget, Sabrina’s café, after dropping Bash off with my dad for the day on Wednesday.
She’s changed a few things since we were kids coming here after school, back when her grandparents ran what was then called Bean & Nugget.
Along with the slight name adjustment, now there are plexiglass beehives in a third of the picture windows.
Not the windows with the view of the lake and the mountains, but the windows facing the side street and the extra window that she and Grey put in between the café and the art gallery next door.
There’s also a giant fiberglass and metal bee drinking coffee hung on the outside corner of the building.
All essentially gifts for Grey after he saved the café from a money problem—also my ex’s fault—right around the same time I got pregnant with Bash.
They serve locally-brewed kombucha from the kombrewchery that Zen runs on the other end of Main Street.
The hours have expanded since we were kids too, and the café is open for dinner now, instead of closing after the lunch rush.
But it’s mostly the same old mountain building with the massive stone fireplace in the middle, wooden walls hung with local art, the bakery counter full of croissants and muffins and occasionally lemon scones, and the bar along the back wall.
It also has the same staff who have been here forever working the morning shift. As soon as they spot me, they wave Sabrina out from the kitchen.
“What is this supposed to mean?” I say, shoving my phone in her face over the bar.
Sabrina lifts her brows, which perfectly match her curly copper hair, and studies the last message Jonas sent me after our short, intermittent communications over the past few days.
He’d text. I’d sit on it. I’d eventually text him back.
He’d reply nearly immediately.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
And four days later, I need help interpreting all of it.
I have him labeled in my phone now as Random Stalker in case I die and anyone reads my messages, but I know Sabrina knows who it is.
She looks back to the kitchen and bites her lip before turning her green eyes back to me. “Where’d you park?”
“That’s an ominous question.”
“We can’t talk in the kitchen.”
“ Is he in the kitchen? ”
She doesn’t answer.
Instead, she trots out from behind the bar, her pregnant belly hidden today under her apron, and grabs my hand. “C’mon. We’ll sit in mine. Back in a bit, Willa.”
“I’ll bring coffee,” Willa calls back. “Decaf, of course.”
Sabrina’s five two on a normal day. Five six on a good day in heels. And she knows all that goes on in Snaggletooth Creek.
“Jonas is still in town, climbing the walls with regrets, which is not me trying to convince you to forgive him and talk to him. It’s just what I was told,” she says as soon as we’re tucked into her small SUV. It smells faintly like dog and more strongly like honey.
“Told by who?”
“His sister-in-law.”
“The pregnant woman from my backyard.” You’re damn right I listened in when two more strangers popped into my backyard while two dudes in suits hung out next to a black SUV in my driveway. I’ve also googled Jonas’s family and bodyguards to make sure I was piecing things together correctly.
“She came in this morning and completely charmed Laney to pieces before either of us caught on as to who she is. Which I don’t think was intentional, by the way.
She spotted Jitter and thought he was Laney’s dog and asked to pet him.
And she had her own dog with her and he’s adorable too.
So it was this dog love-fest. But as soon as Laney introduced herself, she went beet red and was like, oh, crap, this is awkward .
They’re hanging out in the kitchen right now. ”
“ Oh my god .”
“Laney’s a pro. She’s not letting anything slip.
They’re comparing pregnancy notes. I put them in the kitchen because I didn’t want anyone recognizing her.
She’s basically due the same time as Laney, but it’s twins, and she has very distinct hair.
But she was a normal person before she married into the Rutherford family, and Laney and I both get good vibes off of her.
Not that I’m saying you should listen to her.
Just that she passed the first test. And we’re being very picky about letting anyone who so much as listens to Jonas’s podcast pass any tests. ”
“Was she sent to negotiate?” I ask.
“You know it’s a really good sign that they haven’t said the word lawyers yet, right?”
Someone knocks on my window, and we both jump.
But it’s Willa with two coffee tumblers.
Sabrina hits the button to roll down my window.
“The bodyguard just told me Jonas threatened to disown his parents if they get involved,” she murmurs as she passes the drinks to us.
“ You know ?” I squeak.
“Unfortunately, because of the scuffle at the wedding, more people than we’d like have started having suspicions,” Sabrina tells me while she rolls the window back up.
“We keep telling them the story about Jonas wanting to do a movie about Theo’s life, and the locals aren’t completely buying it.
But don’t worry. They’re keeping their mouths shut. ”
I sink lower in my seat. “I hate secrets.”
“We know.” Sabrina squeezes my arm. “But you’re in good hands. No one wants a repeat of the reporters in town after Theo was unmasked.”
I wasn’t here for that, but I’ve heard stories. Theo never showed his face on his adult entertainment channel, so when my ex called him out during our wedding that wasn’t, and the whole clip went viral, apparently reporters descended on Snaggletooth Creek en masse to try to get more dirt on him.
The idea of reporters showing up because Jonas Rutherford has a secret son here makes actual goosebumps break out all over my arms. “I was secretly glad when he didn’t reply to any of my messages. I didn’t want Bash growing up with the world knowing who he was.”
“Don’t worry, Em. We’re not agreeing to anything with Jonas Rutherford that involves putting you or Bash in the spotlight. As for anyone who suspects the truth here, everyone knows if they’re even thinking of leaking the news, I’ll spill every bit of gossip I have on them in retribution.”
“Off gossip, my ass,” I mutter.
She grins. “They also know that if I don’t, Zen will. I think they’re better than I ever was.”
“Someone will leak this and you won’t be able to stop it. Neither will Zen.”
“Which is why I think you need to talk to Jonas.”
I make a face.
The back door of the SUV opens, and Laney climbs in.
“Good news and bad news, Em,” she says. “Good news, Begonia claims she’s on our side.
Bad news, Jonas is staying here and canceling everything on his calendar to be here for you and Bash until you decide what you want, and people are going to notice he’s missing again.
He’s even canceled a few virtual podcast recordings in case you call.
Against the advice of his family, according to my sources. ”
My head officially hurts, but not as much as my heart.
Or my heartburn.
I haven’t needed Tums like this since I was pregnant.
“Also, Sabrina, don’t let Begonia’s dog into your kitchen again. He, erm, opened the fridge and brought us a bottle of mustard. Also, Begonia’s offered to pay for cleaning the kitchen since brought us a bottle of mustard isn’t actually the full story, nor do I think you’d believe me if I told you.”
“We’re gonna need that full story,” Sabrina says.
“Imagine Theo was a dog and got hold of a squeeze bottle of mustard.”
They share a look, and they both crack up.
I want to, but I don’t have it in me.
Which they both immediately notice. “Oh, Em,” Laney whispers. “I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.”
“Every time I try to talk to him, I end up yelling at him and telling him to go away.”
They share another look.
I know that look.
That look says holy shit, she’s lost her marbles. She doesn’t yell at anyone .
They still don’t know any details about what happened between me and Jonas in Fiji. When I told them I was pregnant, I told them I met someone on my solo honeymoon, we commiserated on our similar broken hearts, slept together, and went our separate ways.
I said I’d make sure he knew I was pregnant.
And the only thing I’ve done differently in our friendship since was decline the Razzle Dazzle film nights we used to have.
“He ran away,” I tell the still car, staring at the lid on my coffee cup.
“Ultimately, he ran away. Didn’t tell me he was leaving.
Just left. No warning. No goodbye. And it hurt.
We’d become friends…I thought. I met him when I tripped over him passed out drunk on my porch.
He was lost and thought he was at his villa, but he was at mine.
It was right after the news of his divorce went public, but he’d actually been divorced for a while.
Secretly. Until—until it wasn’t a secret anymore. ”
“You were both in the middle of breakups,” Sabrina murmurs.
“We were. I told him to go away that first morning because it doesn’t take a lot of brain cells to know that when the world’s most viral runaway bride gets spotted with a newly-divorced Jonas Rutherford, the whispers and the rumors and the press get even worse.
But Theo—freaking Theo —had put me basically on a private island.
It was safe. Jonas showed me it was safe to leave my villa.
He pulled me out of what was a pretty awful funk. ”
“I can’t even imagine, and I had my own funks then,” Laney says.
I try to find a commiserating smile, and I can’t.
So I sum up the rest instead. “We spent three days together. We snorkeled and hiked and went on boat rides and walked on the beach. We talked. And then we slept together, and it felt right and natural to take solace in this new friend that I had who was also in no place for a relationship, but it was like—it was like the ultimate in I’m not alone , you know?
But I woke up the next morning, and he’d left.
Just poof . Gone. And I had no way to reach him.
I tried. I tried at least half a dozen times, and he never answered. ”
“Did Theo know?” Laney asks. “Before we all saw that documentary on Jonas and realized Bash was basically his clone. Because I kinda want to punch Jonas myself now.”
I shake my head. “You would’ve known if he knew. He doesn’t keep secrets from you.”
They both wince, but I’m long since over all of the secrets Chandler kept from me when we were dating and engaged.
My life is so much better without him.
Until the end of Laney’s wedding, I would’ve said my life was perfect.
“Leaving Hawaii for Fiji was brutal.” I’ve never told them this part either.
“I didn’t know half the world had seen video of the wedding until I realized everyone was staring at me and whispering.
Someone asked for a selfie. Some random grandma told me I was better off without him, and someone else told me I was stupid to have even been that close to marrying him, and that they didn’t feel sorry for me.
A lot of people implied variations on that last one, actually. ”
“ I need names ,” Sabrina says.
I wave a hand. “It’s over. It’s done. They were strangers and they didn’t matter. I have Bash. I have you. I’m good . But I also have zero intention of putting myself in that spotlight ever again. But more? Like hell I’ll subject my son to that kind of attention. Zero. Fucking. Chance.”
Maybe I’m not over it.
Not if my heart is pounding this hard and fast and my mouth is tinny and dry and my stomach is rolling over on itself.
The idea of my baby boy being suffocated by camera lights and questions and judgment from strangers?
No.
No fucking way .
Laney rubs my shoulder. “So that’s what you tell him, Em.”
“We’ll come with you if you want us to,” Sabrina says. “Backup. That’s all.”
“We won’t say a word unless you give us the signal.”
“Or unless we mistake the be quiet signal for the please tell him exactly what I’m thinking signal. We should definitely go over signals.”
“I’ll bring a muzzle for Sabrina.”
“I’ll let Laney put it on me and she’ll only take it off if you give her the signal.”
“The right signal. The one we’ve agreed on beforehand.”
I laugh, but it’s half panic.
Laney leans forward and hugs me from behind, even though that has to be hella awkward on her baby bump. “We won’t let them put Bash in the spotlight.”
Sabrina leans in too. “This might be how Grey’s dream of moving to an island to hide away from people finally comes true.
Except we’ll all be there together. I’ll tell him we need an island big enough for at least twelve.
And a kombucha brewery, because I’m pretty sure Zen won’t leave here without that now that they’ve found where they fit. ”
I force a laugh.
My friends squeeze me tighter.
“Do you know the very worst part?” I whisper, afraid to finally say it out loud.
“Tell us,” Laney says.
“He was so easy to be friends with until he was gone.”
“Oh, Em, that’s the worst,” Sabrina says.
My eyes get hot. “I don’t know how to trust it if I start to think he’s my friend again.”
Laney squeezes tighter. “No matter what, we’ll be here.”
“For whatever you need,” Sabrina agrees.
I know what I need.
But there’s zero chance now that I’ll get it.
“I wish I hadn’t told him,” I confess, even though the words taste like dirt.
“You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if you hadn’t,” Laney says.
She’s right.
Of course she’s right.
“Em?” Sabrina says softly. “You know you’ve got this, right?”
I start to shake my head, but then I catch sight of a clunky beaded necklace hanging from her rearview mirror.
A gift from Bash and me after art time a few months ago.
My perfect little boy.
Who needs me to be Warrior Mommy right now.
“Yeah,” I hear myself say. “I do. I’ve got this .”