Chapter 8
Nate
I move to sit in my seat, and as I do, my mind replays the last fifteen minutes like a film on loop.
I have no idea why I told Lizzie all of those things.
When I first found out she was coming to dinner, I didn’t think twice about it. I assumed John was just bringing a friend along—nothing more. The idea that he might be trying to play matchmaker hadn’t even crossed my mind. But earlier, John gave me the slightest look, and I just knew.
And when I saw Lizzie—when I heard her laugh—I knew the idea of her being just another friend of John’s went straight out the window.
She’s exactly my kind of attractive: brunette, tall, younger than me. I mentally tick those boxes off my list almost automatically.
I’m the kind of guy who knows what he wants. Last year, when I sat with God and prayed over that list—really prayed—I became certain of what I was waiting for.
I’m not someone who likes to “see where things go.” I’ve already been married.
For a long time, I thought I was living my happily ever after, even if my ex-wife didn’t feel the same way.
The signs were there, looking back. I just never wanted a divorce.
So it stands to reason that I’m not here to date casually.
I want a future. I know the type of woman I want to build it with, and I don’t dance around that truth.
Lizzie may check three things on my list, but I have no idea if that’s where it begins—or where it ends.
The question really is… why did I start our conversation with I’m divorced?
I honestly don’t know.
But in a way, I’m glad I did. Because if I ever get married again—whoever she turns out to be—she’ll have to know. She’ll have to know I have two kids. She’ll have to know I have a past.
We all do. None of us are perfect. We put too much pressure on perfection. I’m guilty of that myself. Everything I do, I try to do to the best of my ability. Sometimes the bar is too high—set like the moon, unreachable. That’s where God’s grace meets me.
And whoever I marry one day will have to understand that the places where I have a past are the very places where God has shown me grace.
We settle into our seats, surrounded by leafy plants and the dim glow of overhead lights. Cards rest next to each place setting—red and green—for the meat rodízio.
“Alright, let’s get our food first, and then we can enjoy the night away,” Maria says, clapping her hands together.
John chuckles. “Getting down to business first, my love?” He tucks her into his side and kisses her temple.
“From the look of all that food, I’m with Maria,” Lizzie laughs.
“Okay, let’s go load up our plates,” I say.
We walk over to the table at the center of the room, and I fill my plate with small amounts of different things—rice, a pasta salad, an Italian mushroom dish. I want to leave plenty of space to try the meat. Everything looks delicious.
I make my way back to our table, where everyone has already sat down and a waiter has just come over with some meat.
“Oh, is that picanha?” I ask, taking my seat. I love picanha—it’s the prized Brazilian cut of beef, the top sirloin cap. The flavor is intense, the texture tender. It’s perfect.
“Yes, sir, it is,” he replies.
“I’ll take a cut of that, please.” I turn my card over to green so any other meats that come around will head our direction. I’m excited to taste the meat we supply in action. The meat itself is delicious, but a good chef is always where the difference comes in.
After everyone gets a cut, the conversation officially begins.
“So, Nate, I don’t know if you know, but Lizzie has been living in Belgium the last two years,” John says.
“Wow, Belgium?” I ask, “And you still live there?”
She moves her napkin to blot at her mouth. Everything she does, she does elegantly. She seems to be this mix of classy and joyful, just from the few minutes I’ve gotten to know her. She wears a smile like it’s a piece of clothing—never off her face.
“I do. I came back for the summer to spend some time with my family, but I leave in two weeks.”
Two weeks. So if this attraction to her is anything at all… that’s something that heavily influences any sort of future. I’ll have to tuck that away and think about it later.
“What do you think of Belgium? Do you see yourself living there long term?”
Maria and John also seem intrigued. John glances over at me, and I can tell everything from a look.
“Honestly, I love Belgium. I love Europe, in general. I’ve had the opportunity to see so much while I’ve been over there.”
Another waiter comes around with some more meat, this time beef ribs. We all say yes to a round of it.
“I started off the journey to get to know some of my father’s side of the family,” she continues. “And I’ve been an au pair to some families there ever since. I’ve had to leave every three months because of my visa, so I’ve been able to see a lot. Europe is absolutely beautiful.”
“I can attest to that,” I say, nodding. “I’ve had the privilege to visit a few countries out there. It’s beautiful.”
Her eyes light up at this. My chest warms.
“Oh, really?”
If she lights up like this over simple questions… I have a feeling I’d want to coax out that smile constantly.
“Yeah, I was just telling John the other day about Italy and how much I love it. But after a while, I couldn’t take the pizza anymore,” I laugh.
“I think I could eat pizza for days,” she chuckles.
I think opposites attract.
But it’s just pizza. Calm down, Nate. A beautiful woman who ticks off some of your list and happens to like pizza more than you do does not mean it’s time to jump in, I think.
“I, for one, am ready to eat all the pizza I can,” John raises his hand.
“Hear, hear!” Lizzie lifts her glass to cheers John.
“I think you’re ready to eat all the good food around the world, aren’t you, meu amor?” Maria giggles and we all join in.
Lizzie continues, “As for your original question, do I see myself there long term? I’m not entirely sure.
I wanted to gain some experience in life, and Europe has given me that.
But I don’t picture myself being an au pair for the rest of my life.
Especially because after my dad gets me my new Italian passport, I won’t need to leave the country every three months.
So right now, I’m just taking it one day at a time and seeing what God reveals to me.
I guess when I go back, I’ll probably start looking for a new job there. ”
“What kind of job would you be looking for?” I ask her.
“You know, I feel like I could be pretty happy doing lots of things. I sometimes joke that I’d love to be the person at customs and immigration at the airport, stamping people’s passports as they come into the country. It would be so fun to meet people from all over the world!”
Her grin is so wide.
“Lizzie, that sounds like the most boring job in the world,” Maria snickers.
“I love people, too, and getting to meet new ones. But I’m with Maria on that one,” John laughs.
“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t hate people, pastor. I think you’d be in the wrong line of work if you did!” Lizzie chuckles.
Everyone around the table joins in the laughter.
“How did you end up in Belgium?” Maria asks.
A waiter brings some grilled cinnamon-glazed pineapple to the table. The smell is so sweet, with a hint of chargrilled. Almost like a tropical autumn. Lizzie nods eagerly, asks for some more, and thanks him.
“I’m obsessed with this sugary grilled cinnamon pineapple,” she says with a smile, then continues.
“I was a secretary to a financial counselor for the president of a bank here, and they told me they were thinking of offering me a job in Miami. I thought it was the perfect time to learn English, because I’ve always loved learning languages, especially because of my father’s side of the family.
But then my dad asked me, ‘Why don’t you go to Belgium to learn French?
’ And that kickstarted the whole process. ”
I’d love to learn more about her Belgian family. From the sounds of things, it seems like there’s a story there.
“Where else have you been, Nate? You said you’ve been to Europe a few times?” Her gaze is fixed on me.
“I’ve been to Switzerland and Spain. But to be honest, that’s actually it in Europe. I’ve been able to go to a few other countries outside of Europe, though, like Israel and Egypt.”
“Wow! Israel and Egypt!” she exclaims. “I’m glad I’m a brunette—at least that should keep me off the camel trade list in Egypt!” She throws her head back and laughs, her hair shaking with it. I chuckle. Fair-skinned, blonde tourists stand out a mile in Egypt, so the joke isn’t lost on anyone.
Everyone laughs along.
I love her humor. She doesn’t seem to miss a thing, and she’s always ready with something that makes everyone else laugh, too.
“I’d like to hope I’m worth quite a few camels,” Maria adds.
“A few thousand, you’d think, right?” Lizzie chuckles.
“You’re worth an infinite amount of camels, my love,” John says, motioning to Maria.
Lizzie claps. “Top notch answer, John. You won’t be sleeping in the dog house tonight.”
“He’s too sweet to me to ever sleep anywhere but beside me,” Maria says, a look of love washing over her face.
John motions to Lizzie and stage whispers.
“I never want to risk her ire!” He points to her.
Everyone laughs, including Maria.
“Israel is on my list to one day go to,” he continues.
“Yes, I’d love to see all of the places Jesus went to!” Maria agrees.
“That was my reason for going there, and it lived up to the expectation. And reading those chapters just before I went to those places… it gives it a whole new meaning. I feel like I’m living it.”
“Wow. I’d love to know what that’s like. It must feel so different to see the stories of Jesus come to life,” Lizzie adds.
“There’s nothing like it. I had been studying Luke at that point, and I tried to imagine what it would’ve been like to be one of the disciples when Jesus prayed before He was arrested.
We get so caught up in life, it’s easy to forget those moments.
But to feel like you’re living it out—to picture Jesus there, sweating blood and asking the Father if there might be another way than the cross… it was something else.”
There’s a beat of silence while we all contemplate this before Lizzie jumps back in.
“Someday, I’d love to see it.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” I say.
We all carry on talking for a while, bouncing back and forth with stories, experiences, and things we’d love to do one day.
The conversation ebbs and flows between laughter and depth.
It’s one of those nights that just feels memorable—and far too fleeting.
Hours have felt like minutes. The hum of the bossa nova background music echoes our enjoyable time.
John scoots his chair back from the table and turns his head toward the dessert table, then back again.
“Guys, this has been an amazing conversation, but dessert is calling my name.”
“I feel like dessert had this siren call on me from the very beginning,” Lizzie laughs. “I’m coming with you—don’t judge me for getting multiple pots!” She points at Maria and me.
“I won’t, because I’ll probably get more than you!” Maria laughs and hooks her arm into Lizzie’s.
After all that talking about dessert, John decides to hang back for a minute and looks at me.
“She’s great, isn’t she?”
“She is. I’ve been enjoying getting to know her and I can already tell so much about her character from this night alone.”
“I thought she’d maybe make for a good wife candidate for you.” He raises his eyebrows.
My hand unwillingly clenches. “She’s leaving in two weeks though. We live different lives.” I look over at her, contemplating what any of this could mean.
“Nothing’s too big or complicated for God, brother.” He pats me on the shoulder and heads toward the dessert table.
I don’t know what to think about any of this.
All I know is that I’m really enjoying this night.