23. Caroline
CHAPTER 23
Caroline
I wake up at nearly five. For a moment, I’m disoriented, but then the scent hits me. Grayson’s scent.
I roll over and bury my face in his pillow, breathing deep and squealing into the Egyptian cotton pillow case that feels like heaven against my skin.
We had sex.
Hot, dirty, I-want-so-much-more-of-that sex.
With James and Cas.
I would have never guessed Grayson Ross would be the type to share and honestly to stand back as much as he did and still enjoy it, but he did.
There’s no way he faked that he liked it.
When he carried me into the bathroom and stepped into the huge glass encased shower with me—all four of us could have easily fit—he couldn’t keep his hands off me or stop saying how amazing it was and how hot it was and he wanted to keep doing that. With the guys.
God, it was so good.
My body is still tingling and I’m a little sore and yet if the three of them climbed into this bed with me right now, I’d be ready to go again.
But I’m alone.
I sit up as I realize it fully.
I’m totally alone. I went from three lovers to napping alone.
I remember James and Cas needing to leave to pick up Noah. But I also remember falling asleep against Grayson’s chest.
I look down.
I’m wearing the T-shirt Grayson pulled over my head after we showered. And I don’t have panties on.
Huh.
I smile.
I want more with the four of us, but I wonder what kind of fun Grayson and I could get up to, just the two of us.
He’s adamant about not fucking me but…there’s a lot of other stuff we can do.
My stomach growls as I swing my legs over the side of the mattress.
I also need some food.
I pull the bedroom door open and step into Grayson’s living room. The sun is shining in through the big window and it’s quiet in the apartment, but I find him immediately.
He’s on the couch.
And he’s not alone.
So much for more sexy times.
But I don’t mind.
I feel my soft smile and pause a moment, taking in the sight.
Grayson’s sitting holding Evelyn.
And just staring at her.
She’s fast asleep, looking like an angel.
I’m sure the zoo with her grandma wore her out.
But Grayson is looking at her now as if he’s never seen her before.
I almost feel as if I’m intruding. But my panties are laying in the middle of the floor near the couch. I have to go out there.
I take a breath and step further into the living room. “Are you okay?” I ask softly.
He looks up. He gives me a smile that makes my stomach flip.
“Very okay,” he answers. He looks back down at the little girl, who is now officially his daughter.
“I can’t believe there was a time when I didn’t want her.”
My heart squeezes. “That’s a natural reaction. It was a surprise, Grayson. It’s not like she was planned.”
“I know. And I haven’t had her for very long. But now I can’t imagine not having her. And it hit me when my mom brought her back and I saw her for the first time, knowing for sure she’s mine. I don’t know what I would’ve done if she wasn’t.”
I stop and pick up my panties, pulling them on before facing him. He gives me a little smirk and says, “I wish I could tell you to should just leave those off.”
I just shake my head, then move to sit next to him on the couch. “Well, now you don’t have to worry about if she’s not yours. It’s official. And congratulations.” I reach over and squeeze his hand. “You’re a good dad, Grayson.”
Something flickers in his gaze, but he simply says, “If you get points for trying, then I guess I’m doing all right.”
I smile. “You always get points for trying.”
His gaze drops to my mouth. “This afternoon was amazing,” he tells me.
He’s already told me this. Repeatedly.
“I agree,” I tell him. Also again. “And I hope it’s the first of many afternoons like that.”
“It is,” he says simply.
And Grayson Ross does often get his way, so I have no reason not to believe him.
Evelyn squirms a little and her face wrinkles. My stomach growls at the same time.
Her eyes pop open, and she looks up at Grayson. Her brow furrows, as if whatever woke her up is still irritating her, but then she registers who is holding her and her little mouth curls into a grin.
God, these two are adorable.
“Hey, sweet girl,” Grayson greets her. “You had a big day at the zoo.”
“Did she come home asleep?” I ask.
“Fell asleep in the car, I guess. Didn’t stir when they brought her in.”
At the sound of my voice, Evelyn looks over at me. Then she gives me a big smile and my heart swells. “Hey, Evie.”
She reaches a chubby hand out toward me, and I give her my finger. She wraps her hand around it and squeezes, clearly not intending to let me go.
“Thank you for being so good to her,” he says.
“She’s hard not to love.” It’s true. This little girl has stolen my whole heart.
My stomach growls again and Grayson chuckles.
“Why don’t I make both of you something to eat? I have some leftover Primavera pasta. How does that sound?”
I smile at Evie. “I don’t know about you, but that sounds amazing to me.” I meet his gaze. “And since you definitely helped me work up this appetite, it’s only fair you feed me.”
I love the sexy grin that spreads across his face. He shifts Evelyn toward me and I hold out my arms. She comes to me easily and I’m surprised to feel the sting of tears at the back of my eyes.
I feel like I had longer than a week with her, and the fact that she’s so comfortable with me, even after having the other nannies in her life now, touches me.
“I’ll be right back,” Grayson says, stretching up from the couch. “The pasta just needs heating up. Wine?”
I nod. “Sure.”
Then the smell hits me. “Grayson,” I groan.
He just grins from the doorway to the kitchen. “What?”
“I could heat up the pasta while you change the diaper.”
He laughs and disappears into the kitchen. “You don’t know which container it is.”
I looked down at Evie. “Your dad is trouble, you know that?”
We meet back at the coffee table, me with a cleaned up Evelyn and Grayson with a bowl of baby food and two plates of pasta.
He puts her into her jumper and pulls her up to the coffee table and we all sit around eating and talking.
Seeing Grayson sitting on the floor to eat should be a surprise, but after this afternoon with him, I realized there’s nothing that could surprise me about Grayson Ross now. There are layers to this man and he’s not as uptight and set in his ways as I thought.
Either that or I’m getting to him. Or Evelyn is making him more laid-back. Or maybe it’s Honeysuckle Harbor.
Perhaps a combination of all of those things.
Whatever it is, I like it.
Except that a more easy-going, smiling Grayson Ross is even more devastating to my libido than the growly, bossy Grayson Ross I first got to know and developed a crush on.
After we eat, we play with Evelyn until bath time, then give her the bath together. We fall into the routine easily without even asking one another what we’re doing. We put her down for bed, then settle back on the couch together. We’re sitting with my bare legs draped over his lap, a throw blanket over them, so I don’t get cold, though with his hand sliding up and down from ankle to midthigh, overheating is a much more likely scenario.
I think about giving him a rundown of all the ways we could have fun that don’t involve him putting his cock into my pussy and I am right on the verge of being that blunt about it when the front door to his apartment swings open.
Startled, I look over and sit up straighter when Kyle walks in.
The night nanny draws up short, clearly just as surprised to see us on the couch together.
“Oh, hi,” she greets, closing the door behind her.
“Hi,” I say, suddenly very aware that I’m pantless.
I look at Grayson. He doesn’t seem surprised to see her.
Right. It’s night time. Kyle is the night nanny. She doesn’t have Saturday nights off.
And it is Saturday night.
How did I not think of this?
I immediately get up, wrapping the throw blanket around me.
“I…” I realize I don’t actually need to explain anything to her, which is good because this is exactly what it looks like.
Grayson and I slept together.
Except…it was so much more than that.
And I don’t want to explain any of that.
Even if I could.
I bend, pick up my dress, and head into Grayson’s bedroom.
I’ve just pulled my dress over my head when the door opens and Grayson comes in.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Getting dressed and going home.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes. It’s almost eleven, Grayson.” Time really does fly when you’re having fun.
And we were really having fun.
Even when we were dressed.
Dammit.
“Do you have a curfew?” he asks.
I roll my eyes. “We’re not having a sleepover. Not with your nanny here. And probably not anyway.”
“Why not?”
I’m feeling kind of stupid, actually. I got caught up in spending the evening with him and Evelyn. Was sex on my mind? Sure. After all the time I’ve been lusting after him, the chemistry that’s been building between us, and the afternoon we spent, it would be ridiculous if I wasn’t thinking about sex.
But I’d also been caught up in just being with him. Dinner, playing with Evelyn, putting her to bed, cuddling, and talking on the couch.
And all of that is dangerous. And stupid.
“Because this is casual,” I answer, for his sake and mine. “And it’s temporary. So I’m gonna go. And I will see you next weekend.”
I pull the bedroom door open, but it’s stopped abruptly by his hand. He shuts it again.
He is very much in my personal space as he stares down at me. “What do you mean next weekend?”
“Unless you’re busy and have plans. But that’s what James and Cas and I have arranged. We’ll spend each weekend together while I’m here in town. But that’s it. We all have a normal life during the week. Cas is going to work and sometimes getting home late. They both have to get to bed at a decent hour to get up to go to work. This is casual. Weekends only.”
Grayson studies my face for so long that I am dying to know what all is going through his head. Obviously, several things. Options maybe. Possible suggestions he’s considering.
But finally, he gives me a single nod. “Okay.”
“So you’re in? For more of this? The four of us?” Please say yes.
It’s really dangerous how much I want him to say yes.
“Definitely.”
Thank you .
“And weekends will work? You can make arrangements for Evelyn?”
“Yes.”
“Great.”
“But I’ll be making overnight arrangements. You’ll be spending the night. With me anyway.”
I blow out a breath.
He’s complicating this.
But I want that.
And…fuck. I nod. “Okay.”
“But weekends only,” I reiterate.
We need rules. We need guidelines. And we all need to remember what this is.
But as he walks me to the front door and says goodbye to me and we both hesitate as if we’re considering kissing each other goodbye and then decide not to, it is clear that we are already fucking up.
At least I am.
Casual. Casual. Casual. I keep repeating the word to myself all the way back to the beach house.
And I still don’t think it’s completely sunk in when I get there.