Chapter 7
Bella was sitting in the gym’s café with Tania. They had managed to drag each other out on this freezing cold, grey December Sunday to get to the gym, and now they were relaxing.
‘You are filling out, Bella,’ Tania said, in the blunt matter-of-fact way that only best friends can get away with. ‘Is it all the weights you’re doing?’
‘No… it’s because…’
Bella had wondered how and when she was going to give Tania her news and now, she found that the moment was here. And even if she was a bit nervous about her friend’s reaction, she thought best to get it over with.
‘I’m pregnant.’
Tania looked almost as shocked as Don had.
‘What?!!’
‘I know, total shocker, isn’t it? Fingers crossed, Don and I will have a baby at the end of April. And believe me, we are only just at the start of getting used to this idea. No one else knows, Tani, it’s a state secret.’
‘You’re pregnant?’ Tania repeated in a whisper. ‘I can’t believe it! There you go, racing off without me into married life and now parenthood! I just can’t believe it! And I told you this would happen!’
‘It was… unplanned,’ Bella began, because she’d decided that was a much happier word than ‘accident’, ‘and we did spend some time thinking about whether or not we wanted to do this.’
‘And now you’re going for it… oh my God, this is the biggest news of the year… the decade!’ she added. ‘Congratulations! You and Don… parents!!!’ She gave a little shriek, then leaned over to give Bella a big sweaty hug and a kiss.
‘This is amazing. But, no, I still can’t believe it. You? Bella, mathematical genius, financial whizz-kid and career girl. You’re going to be a mummy. And you’re still so young, Bella! Not even thirty! Bloody hell! What are your plans?’
‘Make you godmother, of course,’ Bella said, sure this would get a good response.
‘Oh yes!’ Tania exclaimed. ‘Thank you! I still can’t take this in…’
‘The plan is – have baby, take some maternity leave, then go back to work,’ Bella said, wanting it to sound matter-of-fact and totally doable.
‘Yes, of course, but it’s so brave of you to take on all that extra responsibility. I’m so busy right now, I barely remember to feed my cat.’
‘Not helping, Tania!’ Bella protested.
‘God, I’m still in shock. You and Don. I can only picture you together in a bar drunk. You’re obviously doing a brilliant job of domesticating each other. My God, Don pushing a pram!’ She laughed at the thought. ‘What does he think about it?’
‘We’re gradually going from shocked to delighted,’ Bella replied. ‘He got on board with the idea first, to be honest. I think he’s finally realising he’s a grown-up.’
‘This is so amazing,’ Tania said. ‘We’ll have to go shopping for gorgeous glamorous maternity clothes for you and cute baby things. Oh, I am so excited.’ Tania hugged her again. ‘This is going to be so much fun.’
Bella beamed back at her, full of relief. Tania was taking this much better than expected. Bella had dreaded Tania disapproving or being jealous, or somehow making her feel it would drive a wedge between them just when she needed her friend’s support.
‘Have you told your parents yet?’ Tania asked.
‘No. You’re the only person who knows apart from Don, Don’s Mum, and the doctor, obviously.’
‘You should tell your mum and dad,’ Tania told her.
Bella let out a heavy sigh. ‘I know, I know. I’m absolutely dreading it. You know how weird mum is about pregnancies and they still haven’t even met Don yet. I just don’t want to make things worse than they already are.’
‘Try not to worry about it,’ Tania said reassuringly. ‘It will work out, I promise. Grandchildren seem to have this way of resolving all kinds of problems.’
‘Ha, well… we’ll see,’ Bella replied.
‘Gosh, you’re looking well. They’re obviously taking care of you over at Merris Group.’
This was Susan’s idea of a hello when Bella met her for lunch a few days later.
Her boss was obviously desperate to say: Look at the weight you’ve piled on. Are you eating too many business lunches? Just to make her point, Susan ordered salad. But there was no way Bella could restrain herself, she was permanently starving. She ordered the soup with crusty brown bread, then followed with salmon steak, potatoes and a side salad.
She would have loved to eat dessert too but Susan had looked so horrified at the suggestion, Bella decided to pass.
She had hoped a cosy catch-up lunch with her boss might give her the opportunity to break the baby news, but Susan was in a dreadful temper and just wanted to talk shop. She wanted a detailed progress report on Merris Group and then asked Bella about moving over to the next job much earlier than planned.
Bella couldn’t believe it. Her plan had been to finish up at Merris Group as quickly as possible, take a baby break and then move on to the next client.
‘But I thought Danson’s didn’t want us in till August at the very earliest?’ she asked.
‘Well, they’ve had a rethink,’ said Susan. ‘They now expect to have the budget to go ahead in June or July. Are you expecting Merris to overrun? Is that the problem?’
Bella tried to fudge it. ‘Well, obviously I should be available if Merris doesn’t overrun. But it would be best to tell Danson’s if they really want me, they should make it August. I could do some preliminary reports, then get properly down to it in late July, August. I really want that job, Susan, I worked very hard to land that contract.’
‘Merris is never going to run past April. Have you got something else lined up for early summer?’ Susan asked sharply.
‘Well… er… there is something I haven’t mentioned to you because it’s in the very early stages,’ she began, but then her courage deserted her. ‘It’s, um… someone I’m trying to woo over to us and they already have consultants booked in for May/June, so I’m trying to pinch that slot.’ She willed herself to shut up, before she made this any worse.
‘So, who’s that then?’ Susan looked interested.
‘Well, I’d rather not say.’ For a dangerous moment, Bella thought Susan was going to press the point but instead she dismissed the subject with, ‘Well, OK, I’m sure you’ll tell me when necessary.’
How right she was.
Susan snapped shut her laptop that had been sitting open beside their meals during their lunch and flicked her Amex onto the table to pay the bill.
‘You’re a very able consultant, Bella. You are going to be one of the best. I don’t want to lose you. If anyone makes you any offers, please come and talk to me first. In the meantime, you’re getting a healthy raise come January and I promise you won’t be disappointed with your Christmas bonus.’
Pre-pregnancy Bella would have been completely delighted with this news. Pregnant Bella felt as if she was somehow going to be letting Susan down when her pregnancy was finally revealed. But plenty of women worked full-time with babies, didn’t they? Wasn’t it better for her to believe that she could be a mother and her best work was still ahead of her?
When she got back home that evening, Bella stripped down to her underwear and looked in the mirror. Her breasts were enormous, they were spilling out over the top and sides of her C cups. Her stomach stuck out in an alarming pot belly and her waist had completely disappeared.
She didn’t look pregnant, she looked fat and frumpy and she wasn’t happy about it at all.
She heard the front door slam. Don was home. ‘Bella?’ he called.
‘I’m in the bedroom.’
‘Lucky me.’ He stood in the doorway looking at her.
‘I’m depressed.’ She threw herself down on the bed. ‘Look at me, I’m fat all over. My clothes are straining at the seams.’
He flung himself right down beside her.
‘Hey, gorgeous,’ he said, kissing her mouth tenderly. ‘And that cleavage, it’s completely fantastic.’
He slipped her bra straps down over her shoulder and kissed the tops of her breasts.
‘I look fat,’ she wailed.
‘You look perfect to me, amazing. You’re making a whole new person in there.’
Funny how she hadn’t even begun to think of it like that. She wasn’t just ‘pregnant’, she was actually making a baby. It was very weird. Slightly like an alien invasion. She pulled Don close and his touch, his familiar smell, the feel of his clothes against her bare skin all helped to nudge her into a much more comfortable place, much more in tune with herself.
‘How are you?’ she asked.
‘I’m OK, I’ve got some very nice things I’m going to cook you for supper.’
‘Oh yeah… I think your kitchen skills could well be the hottest thing about you,’ she teased.
‘Really? Well, in that case, I’m going to chop, grate and stir-fry,’ he added, putting on his sexiest, teasing voice.
‘Oh yeah,’ she encouraged him. ‘And what about some marinading or casseroling? You know how your erotic marinading talk sends shivers down my spine!’
Her body was pressed close up against his and as he tasted his way around her mouth, her hands were undoing his belt. ‘What can I do to make you feel better about your lovely body?’ he asked.
‘Mmmm, I’m sure we can think of a few things,’ she answered.
On Saturday, they went shopping together because she needed new bras to accommodate the ever-expanding breasts.
Don perched on the little stool inside the changing room and was instructed to be quiet. But the sight of his wife slipping in and out of underwear in a semi-public place proved too much to bear. He kept pulling her over, whispering, ‘Bella, you have no idea. I’m living out one of my favourite fantasies here.’
For someone over the forty mark, he had an impressive sex drive, she thought, looking at the bulge in his trousers.
There she was in the most white and frumpy bra she had ever tried on in her life – welcome to the ‘maternity’ section – and she suddenly felt the need to thrill Don, to let him know she was still the shockingly sexy girl he’d married.
So, she knelt down beside him and unzipped his trousers, freeing the large hard-on inside. Moments later, he came quickly with an impressively quiet gasp. Before either of them could say anything, a shop assistant was on the other side of the cubicle curtain wanting to know how she was getting on.
As Don fumbled with his zip, Bella stood up and put her head round the curtain. ‘Haven’t you got anything a bit less, well, maternal? These are just hideous,’ she said.
The assistant stepped into the cubicle and eyed Don sitting self-consciously in the corner, then she looked at Bella, dressed in a white bra that seemed to stretch from way below her bust all the way up to her collarbone.
‘You will need the support,’ the saleswoman said, making a strap adjustment to the enormous bra cups.
‘The breasts get very heavy late in pregnancy and if they’re not supported, the skin can develop stretch marks. We don’t recommend underwiring, so you’ll have to wear a supportive soft cup.’
‘Right,’ Bella said, ‘I suppose that’s sensible. I’ll take two of these monstrosities for day wear then, but I want the nicest, silkiest underwired 32Es you can find me for special occasions.’
The woman came back with an armful of bright satin and lace – this was more like it.
Bella chose pink, peach and cappuccino to make up for the horror of the maternity wear.
Don scooped the lot up to take to the till. ‘My treat, Bella,’ he said, still completely bemused but entirely satisfied.