Chapter 13
‘Well, hello there, stranger,’ Declan said with a friendly grin as Bella walked into his small consulting room.
‘Hello, Declan, someone is losing hundreds of pounds’ worth of valuable business consulting time while I have my blood pressure checked,’ was her stressed idea of a greeting.
‘Calm down, sit, get comfortable, we’re going to have a nice little chat first, but yes, knowing your current blood pressure is important too.’
She told him she was feeling a lot better than the last time they’d met and slightly more tuned into being pregnant.
‘How’s the drinking?’ he asked.
‘Totally given up,’ she told him truthfully.
‘Well done. Started the yoga yet?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Still jogging, it helps,’ she told him.
‘OK, I’m going to give you a nice big maternity support belt for that. It will also help.’
Then he pushed a small pile of books and leaflets towards her. When she groaned, he asked, ‘How many centimetres have you got to dilate before you can deliver?’
She had no idea what he was talking about.
‘See,’ he said. ‘Someone as smart as you needs to be informed, so you don’t start raging at everyone in the delivery room and demanding to speak to your lawyer.’
She laughed at him then and he did the tests. Blood pressure fine, urine fine. He let her listen to the baby’s thunderous heartbeat with his stethoscope.
‘Any piles yet?’ he asked.
She raised an eyebrow.
‘You know, on your bottom, causing pain and itching, resulting from constipation.’
‘All right, all right, I’m a bit constipated and I may have a hint of piles. There, I’ve never said that to anyone before.’
‘Piles are the scourge of pregnancy that no one tells you about. Everyone has them, no one mentions them and wait until you’ve given birth, you’ll have what a bunch of grapes hanging out of your arse,’ he told her.
‘Lovely,’ she said with a laugh, loving his frank and no-nonsense approach.
He advised more vegetables, lots of water, and a cream.
‘Now, we haven’t talked about birth or hospitals.’
‘No…’
‘You’re not going to abandon me and book yourself into the private Portland or anything like that? I mean, of course, it’s your choice. I don’t want to sound too judgy.’
‘No, we’re buying a house, so no private hospitals for us. I’ll come to your hospital, that’s fine,’ she told him. ‘And I’d like a nice, big epidural, please. I’ve seen people giving birth on TV and it doesn’t look like a bundle of fun.’
‘OK, when you create your birth plan – or in your case, your birth PowerPoint presentation – put that in please, so we all know about it. You need to turn up at hospital in plenty of time, but this is a first baby so it’s not usually an issue.’
‘No trying to persuade me to cope on gas and air alone to save the hospital some money?’ she asked.
‘No, I’m a fan of the walking epidural. For most women, their first labour is more pain than they have ever experienced, it can be quite a shock.’
This was not exactly reassuring.
Perhaps spotting the worried look on her face, Declan added, ‘I do like to be honest with my patients but try to put what I’ve just said right out of your mind. A very useful hormone will be coursing through your bloodstream soon called denial. It will be followed by “I don’t care just get this thing out of me”.’
Bella laughed, but still felt the anxiety swirl.
This was going to be OK, wasn’t it? She was going to be able to do this?