Chapter 14 Tommy
TOMMY
“You okay?” Zack asks as he pulls on one sock, sitting on the bench next to me.
I run a hand through my damp hair, smoothing it out. “Yeah, of course,” I say, but even I don’t believe me. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Zack glances up at me from where he sits, his eyebrows raised. “I don’t know, Tommy Boy, you seemed a little…distracted earlier. You missed two of my passes.”
I sigh, shaking my head. “You overshot and now you’re blaming me?”
“Well…yeah. You never miss my passes. You’re always tuned in to what’s going on around you. But tonight you were like…tuned the fuck out.”
I sigh, knowing it’s no use arguing with him when he gets like this. I take a seat next to him.
“Dude, why do you look so grim? You know you can tell me anything,” Zack says, and I hear the acceptance in his voice. I do know I can talk to him about anything. Not only is he my teammate, but he’s my best friend. And if there’s anyone in the world who knows me best, it’s him and Chloe.
And if there’s anyone I can confide in, who I know my secrets are safe with…it’s Zack.
“You know Nora?” I venture carefully.
Zack nods as he puts his shoes on, one at a time. “Yeah? What about her?”
“She and Brett broke up. Apparently he cheated on her.”
“What? That’s crazy!” Zack says. I shrug, looking between my legs at the sliver of wood on the bench that’s visible. I can’t stop thinking about what happened last night. Not just Nora and Rush coming home together, but…
What I did.
What I didn’t stop myself from doing, even though I knew it was wrong.
I debate how much to tell Zack. I’m not sure telling him I came hands free by listening to Nora kiss and make out with my brother is a good idea. But I also know it’s not just the sex stuff that’s bothering me.
It’s the conversation she and I had earlier, in my car when I took her home.
I’ve never really had a girlfriend, so I don’t have the best advice when it comes to dating. The closest I’ve ever been to having a girlfriend is when I hooked up with Katie Clarens my junior year on a truth or dare at Chloe’s birthday party, and that was a disaster.
It was my first kiss, and the first time I let a woman touch my dick—even though it was purely over top of my pants—and let’s just say my only sexual experience ended with a very irritated Katie and me having a damn meltdown.
Which is probably why I decided after that, that waiting was a better option for me.
I didn’t want a repeat of pissing someone else off because I couldn’t handle my cock or my emotions.
Freaking out in front of women is a huge turnoff—that I know.
But still, something inside of me feels connected to Nora and her plight. Her experience. I opened up to her. This morning, in my truck, I told her things I’ve never told anyone. Not even my brothers.
I told her I’ve never had a girlfriend.
That I want to get married some day and have kids.
I told her I don’t know how to process my feelings sometimes—like right at that moment—and she didn’t brush me off.
She understood. Because she wanted those things too.
A family.
With my brother.
It was like a hockey puck to the damn chest when she said she loved him. And maybe I knew that already, but…it was something else to hear her say those words—but to see the sadness and pain in her eyes, knowing he was the cause.
I’ve never felt so angry in my life.
Nora is everything good this world has to offer. I don’t need anyone to tell me that, because I can see it firsthand in the way she treats me. She doesn’t ignore me or act like what I have to say doesn’t matter, just like Zack and Chloe.
My brothers…they mean well, I know that, but I don’t feel like I connect well with them because we have nothing in common apart from our DNA and our affinity for sports.
I’m not a charismatic playboy like Rush, or a grumpy old man like Freddie, and they certainly aren’t into anime, Legos, or romance novels.
But Nora…Nora and I just…clicked. And it was like I’ve been talking to her forever, even though I know this morning was the most I’ve ever spoken to her.
To a girl that wasn’t Chloe, period.
I want to talk more, but I also know not everyone wants you to dominate the conversation when they’re going through stuff. Sometimes they just want you to listen.
And I wanted to listen. Even though I knew I probably shouldn’t, all things considered.
I mean…she was dating my brother pretty seriously. I don’t pretend to know everything that goes on in a person’s relationship, and it’s not like Brett and I talk about…well…anything.
When I was a kid, I used to think he was the coolest person in the world, but he always acted like I was annoying or a problem. Freddie was always the one to step in and say something, or just pull me away all together. Which I guess didn’t help much, but still.
It’s hard to not know what’s going on in Brett’s life since he’s A—my brother, and B—an up-and-coming star pro athlete. Which is another reason why talking to anyone—especially girls—isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
I’ve definitely had girls flirt with me just because they know I’m a Sterling.
My senior year, I thought Kira Colby actually liked me and had asked me out because she thought I was cute.
When I overheard her talking to her friend in the girls bathroom—because I’d gone to the water fountain at the most inopportune time—telling her friend she couldn’t wait to meet Brett and trade up, I felt like shit for days.
I think I realized then that not everyone is who they say they are, and maybe I rationalized that it was easier to be single if the world was full of people like Kira.
But talking to Nora today…it made me want more. I didn’t want her to leave my truck, wanted to keep her talking about everything under the sun just so I could listen to her. I liked listening to her…even if it was about how shitty my brother was.
“You want to know the crazy part?” I ask as I put my shoes on.
“What?” Zack leans back languidly, looking at me in question.
“I’m not surprised.”
Zack raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“I mean, Brett’s famous now, right? It’s not like he’s ever had a serious girlfriend, period, and now that he’s like, a local celebrity…”
“Yeah, but…it’s one thing to play the field and another to date a woman for a year.”
“My point exactly,” I say sharply. “You and Chloe have been together forever, whether you were together or not,” I remind him.
“But Brett’s always been the guy with a new date on his arm every Christmas.
I don’t know why anyone is surprised that he let his little head do the talking and fucked up something good. ”
Zack nods. “Guess you’re right, but you can’t tell me you’re pissed off or distracted just because your playboy brother fucked a princess from another castle.”
I purse my lips as I stand, grabbing for my duffel and shutting my locker. Zack does the same.
“So what really has your knickers in a twist, T?”
I debate telling him the truth, worried he’ll judge me. But in truth, I want to tell someone. Judgment or not, I feel like I need to talk, and Zack always lets me talk.
He looks around the room full of our teammates, some half-dressed, others already working on making their exit.
“Tell you what, you can tell me in the car. When it’s just the two of us.”
I feel a little less on the spot and nod in agreement. “Okay.”
I follow him out, feeling a fraction better.
When the cool air kisses my skin, I breathe a sigh of relief.
I pile into the passenger seat of Zack’s Malibu, and as soon as he turns the car on, music blares through the speakers.
Some emo-sounding stuff I don’t know, but then again I can’t keep up with his shifting music tastes.
Most of what I listen to is binaural beats and low-fi because I can’t stand loud noisy music that’s too overstimulating. My mind is stimulated enough, thank you very much.
He turns the radio down a bit, enough that I know he can hear me, and as he backs out of the parking lot, he says, “Spill.”
I don’t think, I just start talking, the words finding their way out of me of their own accord. “Freddie and Rush brought Nora home last night.”
Zack turns to me with wide eyes. “What?”
“I mean, not like they brought her home in like…the sexual sense—”
I know that wasn’t their intention, if only because Rush and Freddie have never been the type of guys to hit on another man’s girl.
Especially their brother’s. No, I know they were at the club, and judging from the dress I saw on the coffee table, I’d wager Nora was there with them.
Though I could infer it was a meet-up situation and not that they were hanging out together like they went together.
Rush, Freddie, and Nora have never hung out outside of family stuff, to my knowledge.
“I mean, I’m pretty sure they were drunk. At least, Rush and Nora probably were since we all know Freddie doesn’t drink.” I squirm in my seat as the words come easily despite the fact that I don’t want to say them.
My phone buzzes in my my pocket, but I can’t pick it up right now. Not with my damn heart in my throat as I admit to Zack my darkest secret yet.
“I saw them. Last night…Nora and…Rush,” I say carefully. “On the couch together. They were kissing and—”
“Oh shit.” Zack whistles. “You think she was cheating on your brother with Rush?”
My eyes widen. “What? No!” I say, shaking my head. “Why would you—”
“I mean, you said he cheated on her, right? Did she tell you that or—”
I blink, realizing the evidence he’s presenting me, but I also know Nora.
Maybe not in the sense that I know everything about her, but I’ve gotten to know her over the last year through the veil of being Brett’s girlfriend, and I know there’s no way in a million years she would cheat on Brett. God, the way she used to look at him…
She loved him.
I asked her myself, and she didn’t shy away from the truth.
And the fact of the matter is, you don’t cheat on people you love. I don’t care what anyone says.