Chapter 16 Freddie #2
We stand there in the foyer, like two soldiers at war. Waiting for the other to strike.
In the light of the living room, she looks almost angelic, the incandescent lights lighting up her form like a halo.
“I don’t know,” she says as she steps toward me. “Everything is…”
“Confusing?” I ask, my voice dark. Low.
She nods as I step closer.
“Yeah,” she whispers, settling her hand on my hip.
“You’re soaked,” she says, but she doesn’t look at me. “Did you run all the way here from your house?”
I look at her from beneath my lashes. “Yes,” I admit. I know I’m wading into dangerous territory here, but I don’t want to lie to her. I don’t think that would do either of us much good.
“To see if I was…okay?” she breathes as her hand slides underneath the hem of my shirt. Her palm on my skin is warm like a brand, and I think I’ll always remember what it feels like, even if I never feel it again.
Because Eleanor Brighten is burned into my bloody soul right now.
I nod, leaning down toward her face. “Yes,” I say solidly as I close my eyes. “And no.”
I feel her hand on my cheek, her fingers tracing my jaw.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” I tell her as I open my eyes.
“Because of the picture?” she whispers, and I hear the shake in her voice. The embarrassment.
And that changes everything.
“No,” I tell her, settling a hand on her hip. I rub it lightly, the soft sweater fabric a balm to my heated touch. “Because you make me feel things I thought I forgot,” I say. “Things I haven’t felt in years.”
She licks her lips as her hand slides up my chest beneath my shirt. I’m acutely aware of the way she’s touching me. Curiously. Her fingers trace the outline of my abdomen and my hip bones. It takes everything in me to grab her hand and pull her away.
Because I don’t want her to stop touching me, but I need her to understand that this…it’s not what I came here for.
“I just…” I delicately slip my fingers through hers. “I just want to take care of you because I can see how bad he hurt you.”
“Freddie…” She breathes my name like a prayer, and I can’t help but feel the wistfulness, the hope in it.
“I’m here,” I say. “I’m not the same, I know that, but…I’m here, Nora. And I’ll be here for as long as you need me to be.”
She looks at me with misty eyes and nods, a tear sliding down her face.
“It’s late,” she says carefully. “I should go to bed.”
“You should,” I agree, but neither of us moves and I realize she’s waiting for me to lead.
“Show me where you’re staying,” I tell her, my voice firming at this realization.
She wants me to lead. To provide her the control she craves. I know that on some deeper level, but I didn’t really understand it until now.
She doesn’t let go of my hand, but leads me down the hall to a guest room. The bed is covered in clothes, and is a bit of a mess.
“Sorry, I uh…” She looks sad, nervous. I note the bottle of wine on the end table, the strewn clothes. The rumpled pillows and comforter. “It’s a bit of a mess.”
“It’s fine,” I tell her as I pick up the clothes and set them on the dresser. I fluff the pillows, and the whole time, all she does is watch me.
“Why?” she asks.
I turn to look at her as I pull the covers down. “Why what?”
She looks at me with those misty, warm eyes and my insides melt.
No one’s ever looked at me like this.
Not even my ex.
“Why me?” she breathes. “You could have any woman you want, Freddie. Why bother with a mess like me?”
I drop the covers and move to her, grabbing her face in my hands and holding her still. Forcing her to look at me.
“Hey…” I say firmly. She sniffles. “You listen to me, Nora. You are not a mess, baby.”
The endearment falls from my mouth far too easily, and I know I’m in danger of drowning. No one will be able to save me now.
“You are perfect,” I breathe, smirking at her, and she lets out a soft sob. I wipe her tear with my thumb. And kiss the spot it marked.
Her tear against my lip tastes salty. But her skin is sweet. Smooth, as I knew it would be.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart,” I whisper, tilting her chin up with my other thumb.
Her bright blue eyes are filled with glistening tears, but her lips part and she looks at me like all she wants to do is obey. Like all she wants is to just submit to whatever this is between us. Because I know there’s something here.
Maybe I felt it before but didn’t understand it, and that’s why I stayed away.
Maybe I fought it because I knew it was wrong and I was trying to preserve my sanity and the remains of my fractured heart. But I know as I look at Nora now, with tears in her eyes and her lips parted for me, that there is no fighting this. Not anymore.
“Daddy’s here, he’ll make it better. I promise.”
And then I dive into the waters of Nora headfirst and let myself drown in her sweet kiss, the salty taste of her tears on my tongue my undoing. I pull her down to the bed with me, and she follows me without question.
She kisses me softly as I settle her against me, and she curls into my side like a damn puppy, her hand finding my jaw as she kisses me back.
It’s not rushed or heated.
Nora kisses me with a weightlessness, a grace that shouldn’t exist.
When she opens her mouth just the slightest, I carefully slip my tongue into her mouth, and she lets out a soft moan. The sound makes my damn cock twitch, and I know I need to stop while I’m ahead.
It takes everything in me to stop. To not completely devour her right here, like this. Especially without an agreement or some sort of discussion on limits or—
She looks at me, kiss-swollen lips and misty eyes. “You’re holding back,” she whispers, her voice shaky. “Why?”
I look at her, trying to find the words to make her understand.
“Is it because of Brett or—” She swallows hard, leaning against me, and I feel her sweater rise up her thighs, brushing the edge of my fingertips. Her skin is warm against my palm.
“No,” I say, shaking my head as I let my hand start to move. Carefully. I gently rub her thigh. “This…has nothing to do with Brett.”
Maybe not entirely. But…I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t gasoline on the fire.
Truth be told, I know I could have Nora. I could sweep her off her feet easily if I wanted to. Because Brett isn’t the only Sterling in this pack who knows how to seduce a woman.
She’s right, I am holding back. But not for my sake.
“I don’t want to push you,” I whisper. “I don’t want to be a regret.” I lean my forehead against hers. “For you. Like Rush.”
There’s a strange sort of tension between us as I say the words, because I know doing so is more than admitting how much I know. Granted, it wasn’t like Rush was bragging or anything. If anything, he was just as affected as I was, but I warned him to be careful.
I warned him not to push her, but I know eventually he’ll give up the notion of listening to me. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I just…know.
The same way I know this delicate thing between us is going to shatter eventually and there will be no going back. For either of us.
And maybe I want to enjoy this calm before the storm. Maybe I want to remember what it feels like, the anticipation.
Nora sighs, holding my gaze as she licks her lips and presses her body against me.
“I don’t regret it,” she whispers, so faintly I almost don’t hear it. “Rush, I mean.” She says the words warily.
I raise my eyebrows.
Well…I wasn’t expecting her to say that.
I tense at her words, and her hands find my jaw, and she pulls me—no forces—me to look at her. She holds my gaze steady and my heart beats faster.
“And I know I wouldn’t regret you either, Freddie.” She sighs. “And I don’t think you would regret me either.”
The silence between us is palpable, and I can’t find the words to speak.
Her words are like a dam breaking, the truth flooding me. I know she could be lying, but…I don’t think she is.
So, I do the only thing I can think of to tell her I understand.
I crash my lips against hers and let Nora Brighton break me.