Chapter 25
NORA
I reach for Tommy and pull him to me as Freddie grabs the blanket from the back of the couch to cover me.
My gaze meets Brett’s, and the anger, the fire in his gaze is evident.
“I thought you were away—”
“Is this what you do when I’m gone? You got nerve, Nora. You know that?”
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Freddie says, getting up, and I feel shame and guilt ransack me. He’s naked. Very naked. And he just got up from this couch, where I’m lying naked with his brothers.
My mind races with emotion.
I know what just happened, and yet I can’t seem to wrap my head around it.
I wanted it—them.
I don’t regret it, but seeing Brett before me, it brings everything back. All those nights I spent with him. Pleasing him. Hoping for this future that he threw in my face when I found him in bed with someone else.
Brett flies toward us, and Rush leaps up, not giving two shits that he’s naked at the moment. All I can do is try to stop him, try to keep him from Brett, but it’s no use.
I yelp as feel Brett’s fist connects with Rush’s jaw.
“You think you can just fuck my girl on my bed, and I wouldn’t find out, is that it?”
“What?” Freddie gasps. “You—”
“That’s rich coming from you,” Rush snaps at Brett, spitting out a pat of blood.
I hear Freddie’s belt jingle and Tommy tells me we need to move.
“I can’t,” I say.
“We have to, Nora. I’m not letting you stay here and—”
“Don’t you fucking touch her, you prick!” Brett hollers.
Freddie pulls Brett off Rush, mid punch. Rush rubs his jaw, and Tommy pulls me up, wrapping us in the blanket and guiding me.
“Come on,” he says, his voice shaking. He runs with me, stumbling down the hall as Brett’s voice rings in the air.
“Nora!” Brett calls out. “You get your ass back here right now, or I swear—”
“Or what?” I bellow as Tommy tries to lead me down the hall.
“She’s not yours anymore!” Rush yells.
Freddie calls out, “Both of you, stop. This isn’t going to solve anything.”
I can hear them down the hall as Tommy pushes me into his bedroom. I hurry to dress myself in the clothes abandoned in his room, as does he.
“What the hell is he doing here?” he asks.
“I don’t know…I thought—”
Brett’s voice calls for me again, my soul shattering at the ache in his voice.
“You’re not going anywhere near her, asshole,” Russell bites out.
I hear them fighting, their heavy footfalls getting closer.
“Maybe if I talk to him—”
“Are you insane?” Tommy says.
“No, I just—”
“Let my girlfriend be the judge of that,” Brett yells, and tears fill my eyes.
I should have known this would happen.
But maybe I did. I don’t know how he found out about me and Rush, and that in itself is a problem, but the truth of the matter is this would have happened anyway at some point, right?
How long did we think we could do this?
How long did we think we could keep something like this from him? From their parents?
Maybe I knew this would end in a disaster, and I refused to think about it. Maybe Abby was right, and this wasn’t about anything more than revenge.
Maybe what I feel doesn’t matter. I don’t want to break up a family.
I don’t want to cause anyone pain.
And listening to them fight outside…hearing Brett’s voice…
He’s in pain too.
He almost sounds…remorseful?
My heart aches because I know what I need to do. And I know they aren’t going to like it, but…I need to do this for me. To know for sure. To get the closure I need.
To avoid hurting everyone in the long run.
“You broke up with her!”
“Awww…is that what she told you?” Brett asks.
I move toward the door.
“Nora, no, stop!” Tommy cries out, but I ignore him. “Nora!”
I throw open the door, Tommy’s footsteps behind me. I don’t stop, though. I can’t.
“Stop!” I shout, laying my eyes on two half-dressed men and my ex, their hands at each other’s throats, and the sound of my voice makes everything stop.
They all turn to look at me. I stand there in my sweater and leggings, eyes rimmed with tears.
“Nora, we need to talk,” Brett says, his voice gruff.
Every instinct in my body says not to go with him, but…I trusted him once. Loved him once.
And perhaps a part of me still does love him. Perhaps part of me isn’t ready to let go yet. Perhaps I need closure so I can finally let him go. And I’m not going to get it here, in this hallway. I know that.
Brett is a private person.
He’s always been that way, and our relationship was no different. He rarely was into public displays of affection; everything was reserved behind closed doors. And I know if I want to protect my boys—Freddie, Tommy, and Rush—I need to go with him or he won’t stop.
Not until he’s made himself clear.
I look at Rush’s split, bloody lip. Freddie’s heaving chest and wide eyes. And I can feel Tommy staring a hole in my back.
Tears pool in my eyes as I meet Brett’s gaze.
Once, I lived for that gaze. Once, it was all I wanted. But even as he looks at me now, I know it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same because he doesn’t look at me like Rush does. Or Tommy, or even Freddie.
Rush moves for me, but Freddie stops him. I turn to see Tommy’s tearful gaze meet mine. He knows. I know he does, but he doesn’t say anything.
“You want to talk?” I say through tears as I turn to Brett. “After what you did, after—”
“Come with me right now, and we can forget about this. We can go back to the way things were and—”
A sob tears through me as his gaze softens a hair.
“Baby, please. I know you just wanted to hurt me, that’s why you did it.” He flashes his gaze at Rush.
I take one step toward Brett, and Rush balks.
“Nora, no…you can’t seriously—”
I look at Freddie, the hurt on his face registering. What I’m about to do will hurt them, and there’s no going back.
But I also know Brett’s not going to leave without me. I’ve seen him angry before. He’s never hurt me, and I don’t think he would, even now, but he will hurt them. And I will not let my selfishness cause them anymore pain.
So, I do what I have to do.
I turn my back on them as Brett stares me down. He reaches his hand out, and I don’t want to take it. But for their sake, I need to do whatever it takes to get him out of here, and keep them in one piece.
So I take Brett’s large, cold hand and let him lead me out of the house, into the dark night.
I close my eyes, trying my best to shut out Tommy’s cries and Rush’s curses.
But the voice that hurts the most is Freddie’s.
“Let her go,” he says. “Brett’s right. She never wanted us.”
I fight the tears as Brett drags me to his Beamer. I look to my car, and he tugs my arm.
“Leave it.”
I don’t fight him, because I know I’m not in the best shape. I’m no longer feeling the effects of my alcohol, but I can barely see straight through my tears.
Brett doesn’t bother to open my door. I stand on the precipice, caught between my heart and a hard place. But I know as hard as it is, this is what I have to do. Brett and I need to have this conversation and we need to have it away from them.
The men I have fallen in love with in the wake of his destruction.
Brett doesn’t say a word for the whole ride back to his house, even as we pull up to the driveway. Walking inside should feel like home. Once, it was my home.
But it looks almost exactly the same as when I left. Because it was never my home.
It was always his.
Just like this life was always his and never mine.
I recall all the days I spent here, the last six months as he traveled. All the days I spent alone, waiting for his call or for him to come home. All the nights we spent inside, away from the world like he was ashamed of me or something.
“Are you happy?” he says bitterly as he shuts the door.
“Excuse me?”
“You had your payback,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets. I stand there, my heart in my throat, looking at him. At his tall, broad shoulders, his dark hair hanging in his eyes.
“You think that’s what this is?” I say, my voice shaking. “You think I did this to get back at you for what you did?”
I think back to Abby’s words. That I should do exactly what I did. But…is that why I did it?
No, I don’t think so.
I kissed Rush well before I sent that picture. And I felt that overwhelming energy between Freddie and me even before I kissed Rush. And Tommy…
I feel the tears festering as I think about my sweet, sweet Tommy Boy. I felt myself starting to heal with him in his truck when I opened up to him, well before I ever kissed him.
“I gotta hand it to you, Nora, I didn’t think you had this in you,” Brett says, sauntering toward the couch. “But you proved to me that you’re more cutthroat than I thought, which is why I’m going to pretend this never happened.”
“Pretend what never happened, Brett? That you cheated on me? That you told me over the phone we were done? What was I supposed to think?”
He shakes his head. “And yet you never called to come get your stuff,” he says with a shrug. “You didn’t argue or fight with me. You just…went quiet. I assumed you needed a few days to cool off, and then you’d be back and we’d be having this conversation.”
“You assumed I would be back after you told me you were done, after you didn’t contact me for days.” I throw my hands up in the air. “I had to find out you left the state from Rush! You couldn’t even bother to call me—”
“I was out of the state securing a deal!” he snaps. “A deal, I might add, that would be very beneficial to my girlfriend.”
I stop, blinking at his words.
“Yeah, you’re listening now, right? When it comes down to money, you’ll listen because that’s what women like you care about, isn’t it? That’s why you wanted a baby. So I’d take care of you, and you wouldn’t have to work at that God-forsaken shop with that bitch and—”
“I love my job!” I cut in. “If you knew anything about me, you would know that! And Abby is my best friend, she—”
“I should come first!” he yells. “In my house, I am the provider, I come first!”
I stare at him, at the man I thought I once knew.
But I don’t know him at all. That much is clear.
And all at once, Freddie’s words rush back into my brain.
All he wanted was to provide. To give me what I wanted. Not money, not status, just…
Care. Love.
And Rush…his words dance in my brain as well.
He didn’t deserve you.
I didn’t believe those words until now.
“I can’t do this anymore, Brett,” I tell him, my voice solid and unwavering despite the fact that I’m shaking. “You had your chance with me, and you screwed it up. I’m not interested in letting you break my heart a second time.”
I turn my back on him.
“You walk out that door, there is no going back, Nora. This is it. Everything you ever wanted walks out that door with you.”
I turn to look at him, tears in my eyes. “You have nothing I want, Brett. Not anymore.”
And with that I walk out of the door of the place that was once my home and dial Abby’s number. She picks up on the first ring.
I barely get out the words before I start crying. I walk until I find the park, where she meets me. She doesn’t ask questions, not immediately. Instead, she drives as I lean back in the passenger seat, tired and broken-hearted, knowing that once again, I’m alone.
And I only have myself to blame.