Chapter Thirty Theo
CHAPTER THIRTY: THEO
I t had been three days since Bennett’s and my blowup. Three days since he’d been home. Three days of not talking to him.
Considering we played a sport together, the silence was even more deafening. While he talked and laughed with Grayson and the other guys, I’d officially been iced out. It reminded me of the cold shoulder he and Bennett had given me after I’d shown my ass about Vivian’s pregnancy news.
Today I’d decided enough was enough. Regardless that there was nothing between us, he still had a place in our quadruple. The baby would need him. And if it turned out to be my biological kid, I sure as hell would need him.
After my texts went unanswered for most of the day, I decided to call him. It rang and rang before going to voicemail. After hanging up, I called him again. I did this five times before he finally answered.
“What the fuck do you want Theo?” he demanded.
“Why aren’t you answering my texts?”
“Why the fuck do you think?”
I exhaled a ragged breath. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can say.”
“You could start by being honest with yourself and then with me.”
“Not this bullshit again,” I growled.
“Fine. I’m hanging up–”
My chest clenched in agony at the thought of not hearing his voice any longer. “Wait, don’t go,” I pleaded.
“Why?” Grayson croaked.
Because I can’t stand not talking to you. I hate that you’re not sleeping in the bedroom next to mine. I hate that I can’twatch you stagger around the kitchen in the mornings because you’re not a morning person.
Most of all, I’m fucking jealous that you seem to be able to survive without me when I’m drowning without you.
But if I said all those things, it would mean something. And I couldn’t do that. Clearing my throat, I replied, “Vivian is really worried about you, and you know with her condition it isn’t good for her to worry.”
Silence came over the line. “You’re unfuckingbelievable, do you know that?”
“Excuse me?”
“How dare you get on here and try to guilt trip me by using Vivian’s pregnancy!”
“That’s not what I was doing.”
“It sure as hell was. For your information, I’m in constant contact with Vivian. There’s no reason for her to be worried. She knows exactly where I am and how I’m feeling.”
Fuck. Vivian had left that tidbit out. Knowing her, it was probably on purpose so I would eventually cave and reach out to Bennett.
As I jerked my hand through my hair, I sighed. “It’s not just Viv who is worried about you.”
“Don’t bullshit me about Grayson because you’ve seen me talking to him.”
“I’m not talking about fucking Grayson. I’m talking about me. I’ve missed you.”
“And just exactly how have you missed me, Theo?”
“You know.”
“No, I don’t.”
The lies tumbled easily from my lips. “You’re my teammate and best friend. And you’re part of my quadruple.”
“And you’re a fucking liar.”
Yeah, I know that. I’ve been lying to myself for a long time. Since the moment, my cock slid against yours as we fucked Vivian. Something deep and dormant had been unburied in that moment.
No, no, no! I couldn’t do this. “You know what? You can just stay the fuck away because I don’t need your bullshit. I don’t need you either, so go fuck yourself!”
After hanging up, I slammed my phone down on the table. When I whirled around, Vivian stared wide-eyed at me. Grimacing, I replied, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“To your phone or Bennett?” she questioned softly.
Cocking my brows at her, I demanded, “Why didn’t you tell me you knew where he was?”
“You didn’t ask.”
“You should’ve told me.”
“Why?”
Throwing my hands up in frustration, I blared, “Why? Because I needed to know he was okay.”
“Why?” Vivian repeated.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Don’t start.”
She took a step towards me. “ Why did you need to know Bennett was okay?”
“Because I care about him.”
“Like you care about me?”
“Yes,” I hissed. Realizing what I’d said, I quickly shook my head. “No, not like you. I’m in love with you. I don’t love him like that.”
“Are you sure?”
I jabbed a finger at her. “Don’t fucking do this, Vivian.”
“It’s just a question,” she whispered.
“It’s a hell of a lot more than that, and you know it.”
As Vivian peered curiously at me, her expression saddened, “Why are you so afraid to love him?”
“That’s it. I’m out of here.” As I started past her, she grabbed my arm. “Let me go.”
“I need you to really think about what you’re doing.”
“I’m leaving before I go off on you.”
She shook her head. “You’re running away from your feelings. Not just about Bennett, but with me too.”
“Dammit, Vivian, let me go.”
“I can’t.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“I told you that night in the library that I knew you were going to fail just like I was. Right now you’re failing big time.”
“That’s right. I’m just a huge fuck up, right?”
“If you don’t find a way to correct it, you will be.”
“Maybe this is just something you’re going to have to live with.”
Vivian shook her head. “No, Theo, I won’t. I can’t have someone so emotionally stunted in my baby’s life.”
“Oh, now it’s your baby. What happened to it being our baby?”
“I’m his mother. He will always be mine first and foremost.”
Our raised voices brought Grayson into the living room. “What’s going on?”
“Theo is being an emotionally stunted prick to Bennett,” Vivian said as casually as if she was reporting the weather.
A maniacal laugh bubbled from my lips. “Vivian thinks I’m terrible because I won’t admit to loving Bennett.”
“Why won’t you?”
“Why? Because it’s a lie.”
Grayson shook his head. “Come on, man. I’m not blind.”
I threw up my hands. “And I’m not fucking gay!”
Grayson shrugged. “I didn’t say you were.”
“I’m not bi either. I love pussy. I always have, and I always will,” I replied lamely.
“Until you fucked Bennett,” he countered.
With a roll of my eyes, I protested, “And that was just sex.”
Grayson snorted. “You have to be attracted to someone to get it up. And before you can argue with me that you were hard because of Vivian, you can’t keep it up if you’re not in the mood.”
Tentatively, Vivian reached out to touch my arm. “You don’t find any other guys hot, do you?”
“Absolutely not.” Glancing at Grayson, I said, “I couldn’t get it up for you if my life depended on it.”
With a teasing smile, Grayson replied, “Just this once I’ll forgive you for the insult.”
An unexpected laugh tumbled from my lips. It felt so foreign considering how heavy-handed the conversation was. “I’llappreciate it.”
Grayson clapped my shoulder with his hand. “Look, man, I can’t fault you for falling for Bennett. He’s pretty fucking amazing.”
“Nice of you to acknowledge my feelings” I mused.
“And he’s totally good-looking. You know, for a dude.”
“Thanks for stating the obvious.”
He shrugged. “Just being supportive.”
“And I appreciate that. More than you’ll ever know.” At Grayson’s knowing look, I swallowed hard. “How the fuck can I possibly tell my parents that I’m fucking a guy?”
Grayson’s expression filled with sadness. “Dude, the minute they find out about the four of us, it’s over with them. It won’t matter that you’re in love with Bennett.” He shook his head sadly. “You’ve already broken the Novak cardinal rule of perfection.”
Although it hurt like a motherfucker, I knew it was right. I could try stalling and telling my parents about my relationship with the others, but it would eventually come out. You can’t bury a secret like that forever.
Vivian rubbed wide circles along my back. “You might be losing them, but look at what you’re gaining. Two people who intimately love you along with one who platonically loves you. Not only that, you’re gaining my family.
“And mine,” Grayson added.
With a shake of my head, I argued, “I think the two of you forgot that you haven’t told your parents about our relationship yet.”
“Then it’ll be just the four of us,” Grayson replied.
Vivian nodded. “We’re enough. Aren’t we?”
I smiled. “We sure as hell are.”
But as I said the word “we”, I realized that we were not all here. “Is Bennie at The Dive tonight?” I asked. When Vivian nodded, I said, “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Oh no. Do you actually think we’d let you do this by yourself?” Vivian questioned.
“Well, yes.”
She shook her head. “You need us.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I countered, “I need the two of you to tell him how I feel?”
Grayson and Vivian nodded. “You need us for moral support.”
With a roll of my eyes, I replied, “Fine. Get in the car.”
When we arrived at The Dive, it was packed. We had to squeeze our way in the front door. When we finally reached the hostess stand, Vivian inquired about a booth.
“I’m sorry, but it’s standing room only for the rest of the night,” the hostess replied.
“I don’t like you being on your feet in a crowd,” I said.
Vivian rolled her eyes. “I don’t need packing in bubble tape.” When I looked at Grayson, maybe to convince her to leave, Vivian shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere until I see you and Bennett's makeup.
“Uh, speaking of Bennett,” Grayson said, pointing to the center of the room.
With his shirt unbuttoned to his waist, he stood on one of the tables belting The Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac. A possessive rage flowed through me at the sight of the coeds surrounding the table vying for Bennett’s attention with their jacked-up cleavage.
“Is he drunk?” Vivian questioned.
“It’s a distinct possibility,” I replied.
Jerking her chin at him, Vivian said, “Go get him down and talk to him.”
“In the middle of the song?”
“Yes. Or at least catch him before the next one.”
“Whatever,” I muttered as I started easing my way through the crowd.
By the time I reached him, the song was coming to an end. After bowing and then preening under all the attention, Bennett’s gaze fell on mine. His smile instantly faded.
Narrowing his eyes at me, Bennett hopped off the opposite side of the table out of my reach. “Bennett, wait!” I called over the roar.
I didn’t know if he couldn’t hear me or was just choosing to ignore me. With a determined step, he bounced up the steps and back onto the stage. After waving his bandmates over, it appeared there was a song change because they left the stage.
With his guitar in hand, Bennett eased down on the stool. “I wanted to change things up a bit because there’s been a song on my mind and heart lately. And there’s someone in the crowd I want to do it for.”
By then, I stood almost at the end of the stage. Bennett’s gaze fell on mine. “Theo, this one's for you.”
My heart clenched in my chest. From the way he was acting, I knew this wasn’t going to be a ballad professing his love. Even though it wasn’t his usual genre, I expected a screamo song to come from his lips. Something that called for my pain and suffering for breaking his heart.
As he began strumming the opening chords on his guitar, a hush fell over the crowd. I found my breath hitching. Fuck, he looked so gorgeous sitting there with the lights sending a halo over his head.
“ I’ve got a girl crush. I hate to admit it, but I got a hard rush .”
Oh fuck. It was worse than a screamo song cursing me. It was devastation and frustration. And it was everything we were experiencing in our relationship.
“ I want to taste her lips. Yeah, 'cause they taste like you .”
As he sang the lyrics, his pain was evident, and it went straight to my heart. The ache in my chest grew so intense I feared my heart was going to explode.
“I want her magic touch. Yeah, cause maybe then, you’d want me just as much. ”
Since it was so much about Vivian as well, I couldn’t help worrying about what she was thinking. When I turned to look for her, I was shocked to find she stood at my side.
Tears shimmered in her eyes. “Go on. Take his pain away.”
Nodding, I knew what I had to do. Refusing to waste time going up the stairs, I went straight to the stage. Thankfully, it wasn’t too high that I couldn’t hoist myself up.
The minute I landed on the stage, a roar went through the crowd.
Bennett’s eyes were shut as he executed a perfect guitar solo. With determined steps, I stalked over to him.
“Bennie,” I said.
Startled, his eyes popped wide. As he stared intently at me, I knew at that moment there weren’t any words I could say that would truly express my feelings. Instead, I brought my hands to his neck and then slammed my lips against his.
A screech went over his guitar strings. As I poured every ounce of love I had for him into that kiss, the audience cheered and whistled. My tongue desperately plunged into his mouth, seeking and searching for the feel of his against mine.
When I tasted salty tears along with Bennett’s lips, I opened my eyes. To my shock and somewhat horror, I realized I was crying. Fuck, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. It wasn’t who I was.
Except it seemed I was with Bennett.
My chest clenched tighter when Bennett broke the kiss. As I stared pleadingly into his face, I watched a myriad of emotions in his eyes. “Did you have somethin’ you wanted to tell me, Theo?” he asked breathlessly.
“That I’m so fucking sorry for hurting you.”
“Yeah, you’ve said that before. What do you have besides a bullshit apology?”
“Just that this is me standing here before you and everyone here professing my love for you.”
“You really mean that?”
“I sure as hell do.”
Creasing his brows, he asked, “If your parents were here, would you do the same thing?”
“Absofuckinglutely.” Pulling my phone from my pocket, I said, “Want me to FaceTime them right now?”
The corners of his lips quirked. “I’d prefer not makin’ out in front of your parents if that’s okay.”
I threw my head back with a laugh. “I feel the same way.”
“Is that Theo?” someone shouted.
Bennett tore his attention away from me. Grinning, he replied, “Yeah, it is.”
Applause once again broke out. Turning his back to me, Bennett said, “Why don’t you get off the stage and let me finish this show?”
“Only if you promise to come home tonight.”
“I would like nothin’ better.”
After one last kiss, I hopped off the stage. As I made my way over to Vivian and Grayson, I got smacked to death with people patting me and telling me congratulations.
When I reached Vivian, she dove into my arms. “I’m so proud of you and happy for you.”
“So am I.”
After releasing me, Vivian winked. “All right, loverboy. Why don’t you see if you can’t wrangle me a burger and fries, huh?”
“Back to the real world, huh?”
She grinned. “Absolutely.”
I never thought Bennett was going to get home from The Dive. Vivian had long passed out around ten. Grayson had kept me company playing on our Xbox, but then at midnight, he rose to his feet. “I think I better hit the hay.”
“You sure?”
With a wink, he said, “Since The Dive closes at midnight, I figure B will be home soon. You two need some privacy.”
I frowned. “It’s not like that.”
“Dude, I watched the two of you battle tongues on the stage. It’s so l ike that.”
Chuckling, I replied, “No, I mean, I can’t have sex with him.”
“Do you have a broken cock?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Of course, I fucking don’t.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“We’re a foursome. Wouldn’t it be cheating on Vivian if Bennett and I fucked each other without her?”
“I’ve fucked Vivian without you two.”
Shaking my head, I replied, “It’s not the same.”
Grayson crossed his arms over his chest. “She knows how you feel about her, T. Just like she knows how Bennett feels. If the two of you have hot monkey sex tonight, it doesn’t take anything away from what you have with her.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I mean, if you guys went to The Lemon Peel and brought back a new third, then we’d have a problem.”
I grimaced. “There is no other guy for me. It’s only Bennie.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear you’re true to Viv.” Wagging his brows, he replied, “And that I don’t have to worry about you wanting me to top you.”
A laugh burst from my lips. “Dream on, bro. I’ve never even considered bottoming.”
“Are you so sure about that?”
Bennett’s voice had me whirling around. “Oh, hey.”
He glanced between the two of us. “What’s up?”
Grayson grinned. “I was just going to bed and giving my blessing for you guys to partake in hot monkey sex tonight.”
Rolling his eyes, Bennett laughed. “Thanks for your blessin’.”
“No prob. Night.”
“Night, Gray,” I said.
When we were alone, Bennett cocked his brows. “You’re never going to let me top you?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.” Closing the gap between us, I said, “You’d be the only man I’d ever consider allowing in my ass.”
The corners of Bennett’s lips quirked. “So romantic.”
I grinned. “You gotta work with me. I’m a work in progress with Vivian, so I’m sure as hell going to be one with you.”
His expression grew serious. “What changed your mind?”
“Vivian and Grayson.” When he appeared somewhat hurt that it hadn’t been of my own volition, I sighed. “You know me better than anyone, Bennie. You see straight through all my bullshit. You know there was no way in hell I was going to bend unless I had some help. I was scared of my feelings and what it would mean for us. But I also figured out that I need you in more ways than I was willing to admit. ” I cupped his cheek. “Eventually I would’ve got there. I just needed a boost.”
Slowly, he nodded his head. “I suppose every stubborn jackass needs a kick to get going.”
Snorting, I replied, “You’re absolutely right.”
Cupping the back of my head, Bennett pulled my head down to his. “I am just so happy that you got there. These last few days have been hard and I really missed you. Maybe one day I’ll claim all your body just like I have your heart.”
His words sent a shudder through me. “I trust you, and I will look forward to it.”
With a sexy smirk, Bennett said, “Now take me to the bedroom and acquaint me with this hot monkey sex that Grayson mentioned.
“You got it.”