Epilogue Theo
EPILOGUE: THEO
F our Months Later
As I slid my Swarm jersey over my head, my body hummed with pride. In just a few minutes, I would be taking the ice for my first NHL game. It was so fucking surreal that I kept having to pinch myself.
It was moments of absolute and complete euphoria like these that made the last five weeks of loneliness and isolation worth it. When I thought about that day at the airport when I’d said goodbye to the loves of my life to head to Charleston, my chest clenched. Halfway to the gate, I’d thought about turning around and saying fuck it to the NHL. That’s how much I didn’t want to leave.
But some unknown force had pushed me on. I like to think it was the emotional strength that therapy had given me. Maybe it was the prayers Viv and Bennett were putting up for me. I wasn’t normally a believer, but at this point, I’d take anything.
There were good days on the ice and bad days. A lot of the guys hadn’t taken to me because I was replacing a very well-liked goalie. But it was through no fault of mine or his since he’d taken a really bad hit that ended his career.
Thankfully, a few of my teammates had embraced me. I enjoyed late-night beer and pizza binges with them. Of course, nothing could replace the bond I had with Grayson and Bennett.
Usually, I’d catch Vivian and the guys when I was heading home from my beer nights because it was Griffin’s last feeding before bedtime. He still wasn’t sleeping through the night. He liked to be topped off with the tatas around two am.
He was changing so much in just the short amount of time I’d been gone. I’d joked that he was more like a loaf of bread when I left—he just laid in our arms or snoozed. Now he was bright-eyed and responsive on our phone calls. I loved to hear his laugh and giggles.
I never could’ve fathomed the amount of love I had for him. I thought I’d loved him when he was cooking in Vivian’s stomach. But there was nothing like holding him in my arms. Or feeling him snuggle into my chest. And now it was the sweet gummy smile he gave me.
I was completely over the moon for him. And the crazy thing was I couldn’t imagine feeling any different for him if he was my biological son. He truly was mine just as he was Bennett’s and Grayson’s.
My thoughts were interrupted by the assistant coach telling us it was time to take the ice. As I started making my way through the tunnel, I was grateful I wouldn’t be on my own tonight. Since I was the scheduled goalie, the gang had flown in to see me play. It meant so much having them here on such a big night.
As I skated onto the ice, my gaze began bouncing around the arena. Anxiety pricked me when I didn’t see them. And then finally, there they were.
My world.
Bennett and Grayson started waving maniacally while Vivian gently waved Griffin’s fist at me. With a grin, I skated over to them. At the sight of me through the plexiglass, Griffin smiled and kicked his feet.
“Hey Little Man.”
As Vivian held him up in front of me, I realized what he was wearing. He had a tiny Swarm jersey with my number on it. Slowly, she turned him around. My heart leaped into my throat at the sight of my name on his back.
“Where did you get that?”
“I had it made,” Vivian replied. Cocking her head at me, she asked, “Do you like it?”
I grinned. “I fucking love it!”
With a smile, she replied, “I thought you would.”
“Put him up to the glass.”
Vivian gave me an anxious look. “Are you sure?”
“I just want to kiss him.”
“Oh,” she replied.
When I pressed a kiss to the glass over Griffin’s cheek, he cooed and waved his arms. “I’ve missed you so much, buddy.”
“We’ve missed you too,” Bennett replied.
With a jerk of my chin, I said, “Get in here and give me a kiss for luck.”
His brows creased. “You’re not serious.”
“I’m not talking about tongue. Just a quick boop.” When he continued looking unsure, I said, “Jesus, Bennie, I didn’t think you’d be a germaphobe about the glass.”
After glancing around, Bennett said, “I meant more about your teammates and fans seeing us.”
Shaking my head, I replied, “I’m done hiding who I am, Bennie. I will proudly kiss you over this glass and then Vivian. Hell, I’ll even kiss Grayson.”
He held his hands up. “Oh hell no. Not me.”
As Vivian nudged him playfully, I replied, “Don’t worry. You’re off the hook.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absofuckinglutely.”
“Fine,” he huffed before ducking his head.
I swore I could smell his cologne through the glass. Closing my eyes, I wished I could bury my face in his neck and wrap my arms around him. If Vivian was home, Bennett was my North Star. He centered me and gave me the direction I needed to be the best partner and father I could be. I couldn’t imagine loving one without the other. And the addition of Griffin just expanded our love even more.
After kissing the glass over his lips, my eyes popped open. Staring into Bennett’s brown eyes, I said, “I can’t wait to kiss you after the game.”
“Me too.”
My gaze flickered over to Vivian. “Okay, Hot Mama, your turn.”
Although she rolled her eyes, a shudder went through her. “Are you really going to keep calling me that?”
“What’s wrong with it? I mean, you are a mama and you are exceptionally hot.”
Vivian brought her face close to the glass. “You flatter me.”
I shook my head. “You know how I feel about lying.”
She gave me a shy smile. “Thank you.”
After kissing her over the glass, I pulled away and winked at her. “The things I plan to do to you tonight.”
A flush entered her cheeks. “Bennett and I came up with a plan.”
“Please tell me it’s a sex-themed plan.”
“It is.”
“Thank, fuck.”
She giggled. “Tonight it’s just you and me to make up for all the time you’ve missed.”
“Seriously?”
At her nod, Bennett said, “And tomorrow, you’re all mine before we have to go back.”
I groaned with pleasure. “Now that’s the way to get a guy revved up to play his first NHL game,” I replied with a smile.
“Speaking of, you better get your sexy ass out there and start warming up,” Bennett said, with a grin.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m going.”
“Good luck, bro,” Grayson said with a smile.
“Thanks, man.” I put my mitt up to the glass. “I couldn’t do this without you, buddy. Thanks for keeping the home fires burning for me and taking care of Viv and Bennie. You’re the greatest friend a guy could ever ask for.”
Grayson’s lip trembled slightly. “All right. That’s enough of that emotional bullshit.”
Flashing him a smile, I replied, “Dr. Zeller would be so disappointed.”
After swiping his eyes, Grayson countered, “Yeah, well, there’s no crying in hockey.”
“That’s baseball, jackass,” I replied.
Grayson laughed. “Calling me names is so much better than the emotional stuff.”
“Whatever.”
I gave the gang a final smile. And as I skated off to warm up, I realized I although I was the least deserving, I was the luckiest fucking guy on the planet.