Part Three
Dear Margaux,
I cut myself today. I got a knife from the kitchen, a sharp one, and I locked myself in the bathroom and cut a thin little line right up at the top of my thigh.
It didn’t hurt much. Just a sting and then a kind of burn.
I did a second one to see if it felt any different.
I went deeper, and it still didn’t do anything.
I didn’t feel any better. Some of the other girls here cut themselves a lot, or they try to.
They try to get their hands on razor blades but all our shit is searched, all the time, so if they do get a blade they don’t hold onto it for long.
Anyway, they told me it makes you feel better.
That for a moment, just after you do it, you feel calm.
That was all bullshit. I didn’t feel anything at all.
I miss you. I hate them for keeping us apart.
I hate them, but I love you.
Renée.