9. Hayden
9
HAYDEN
T he last week has been fucking weird. I’d not dated anyone since my almost wedding, and while I wouldn’t say I was dating Declan, it sure fucking felt like it. We texted back and forth all week. It wasn’t anything substantial, but it was regular contact with someone I was fucking.
Or had fucked since we hadn’t since. Not that I didn’t want to.
I wasn’t lying when I told him he screwed with my head. I thought about him all the damn time. I smiled when he texted, and whenever anything happened, I couldn’t wait to tell him about it. Sometimes we didn’t even talk. It was just a barrage of photos in an ongoing war of memes, social media posts, and short videos.
Declan
I’ll meet you at your place at 5.
Hayden
See you then, vato.
Declan
I smirked. He was an emoji lover. Nearly every text included them.
“What has you grinning like a fucking loon?”
Looking up, Lucia stood across the cargo hold from me, leaning against one of our pallets. She’d been giving me the side-eye all week, but so far, I’d avoided her. With us all heading to Vegas this weekend, I knew the reprieve was ending, and I dreaded it.
She knew me better than almost anyone, and I knew seeing me and Declan together would hurt her feelings, which I hated, but I was powerless to stop it. Well, there was one thing I could do.
“We need to talk.”
Her face lit up for just a second, then fell. “Okay.”
We headed through the ship and made our way to the mess hall. Before sitting down, we grabbed some coffee. When we settled at a table by ourselves, I said, “I met someone over the weekend.”
She stared down at the table, scratching her thumbnail against a cut in the top. “I know. Scott told me.”
Fuck.
“I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Hayden.”
“I owe you honesty. You’re my best friend, Lucia.”
“Same,” she said, but I knew she felt more. The tears glistening in her eyes gave her away.
“I feel like all I do is apologize to you, but I’m sorry. I really am.”
“You can’t help how you feel or, rather, how you don’t. No more than I can help how I do.”
“Yeah, he kinda blew me away.”
“Scott says he’s sexy as fuck and nearly as big a brute as you are.”
“You’ll get to meet him.”
“He’s going with you?”
“Yeah. I guess I should’ve asked if you and everyone else were okay with him joining us…”
“No, you shouldn’t’ve. No one else asks permission to bring a date.”
“Yeah, I don’t know if it’s a date…”
“Well, I can’t speak for him, but looking at you and how you’ve lit up every time that fucking phone’s buzzed in your pocket this week, I’d say it’s definitely a date to you.”
I nodded. Declan and I were so wrong for each other on so many fucking levels. We were so damn much alike, but he drew me in like a moth to a flame last weekend, and I couldn’t break free of the light and warmth I found in him.
“It is. He was supposed to be a hookup. That was it. We were going to fuck each other’s brains out and say our goodbyes…”
“And did you?”
“Do you honestly want to know?”
“Don’t hold back on me now. I ain’t getting any currently, so let me live vicariously.”
“Yeah. We did. We fucked each other stupid, and then he stayed the night. I made him breakfast the next morning, and again, I thought that would be the last I saw of him.”
I still couldn’t believe he gave me his number, and I really couldn’t believe I texted him.
“But…”
A deep inhale expanded my chest, and I held it until I couldn’t anymore. “But he gave me his number.”
“And you texted him.”
“Before he even got to the taxi in front of the apartment.”
Saucers, that’s the only way to describe how big and round her eyes grew. “Wow. You do have a thing for him.”
“Yeah. But it won’t last. It’ll be fun for a while until he realizes what a bossy fucker I am.”
“Ahem! Some of us like being bossed around once in a while.”
“Yeah, he and I have similar interests, and by similar, I mean the exact fucking same.”
“So, two tops who are bossy as fuck and have to be in charge, whether they’re getting fucked or doing the fucking.”
“Damn. I hope I never turn you against me. You know way too much about me.”
She fell against the back of her chair, laughing her ass off. “No worries there because you know where all my skeletons are buried, too.”
“Yeah. I do.” I chuckled, but when my eyes met hers, I saw the longing that had lived in her eyes whenever she looked my way.
“Are you sure you’re okay with him coming to Vegas with us?”
“Absolutely.”
I didn’t believe her for a minute, but I couldn’t argue with her. She was an adult. She knew her own mind. If she wanted to act like she was fine with it, I wouldn’t fight her on it, but I would keep a close watch.
My phone buzzed.
Declan
Want me to pick up dinner, or are we eating on the road?
Hayden
You can grab something to munch on in the car. I’m not picky when it comes to food. Well, I take that back. No sushi.
Declan
I like my fish fried like a good southern boy.
Hayden
Southern boy? You live in Cali.
Declan
I wasn’t born here.
Hayden
Where were you born?
Declan
Stopping for snacks from the supermarket. We can play twenty questions on the drive unless we’re flying.
Hayden
Oooh. Vato’s got jokes. You’re traveling with a bunch of grunts.
Declan
Got it. Do you like junk food or healthy snacks?
Hayden
Both
“Wow. Yeah. You’ve got it bad.”
I looked up at her, then at the clock. Deciding to ignore her, I said, “Let’s go finish up so we can get out of here on time.”
* * *
I pulled into the driveway of my apartment right at five, passing a massive black SUV parked at the curb. It looked like an official government vehicle but had Texas plates instead of the traditional white and blue government plates. It wasn’t the least bit flashy, but I knew how much those things cost, and they weren’t fucking cheap.
The dollar signs attached to that ride spiked my anxiety, but I pushed it down, stomping it into submission as I exited my car. When I clicked the key fob to lock the door, I cataloged the differences between the used sports car I bought with cash that probably didn’t cost as much as the tires and rims on the ride parked next to it in my driveway.
Fuck.
I cursed her yet again for making me doubt my worth. The number of commas in a bank account shouldn’t fucking matter because it didn’t make a damn bit of difference when push came to shove.
“Hey!”
My stomach swooped when I looked up. Declan crossed the yard toward me, only he didn’t look like the guy I picked up at the club. Worn blue jeans, a leather belt with a buckle that would’ve made a rodeo champ proud, and a plain black t-shirt replaced his GQ model fashion. My eyes roved over every inch of him twice, taking notice of the bulge between his thighs. I blame that mouthwatering sight for missing the boots on his feet. He wore shitkickers. They weren’t shiny and flashy. No. They looked like they belonged on a ranch.
Yeehaw, cowboy.
“So, Texas, huh?”
His beautiful mouth stretched wide. “Yeah.”
“So, are you a real cowboy or one of those people who just dresses the part because you were raised there?”
“I’ll let you figure that out when you’re on your knees later.”
My brow twitched as I tried to figure out what he meant. Well, other than me being on my knees later. That I got.
“Nice ride.”
“Thanks. It’s the company’s.”
The way those words made me feel instantly better should’ve told me just how much not over her I was, but I ignored the voice in my head screaming at me to let it go and move on. Better to hang onto the anger and betrayal so I didn’t make the same mistake twice.
Wetting my lips, I drew a deep, soft breath in through my nose to shove away the wash of negativity that unfailingly swarmed whenever she popped into my head.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. Just trying to wrap my head around you being here.”
His brow furrowed, and one of his brows lifted. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Fuck, no, carin?.”
More furrowing with an added twitching of his mouth, and I knew he was confused. Hell, I was, too, so he could join the fucking club.
I turned for the apartment, jiggling the keys in my hand. “When you agreed to go, I told everyone to meet us here.”
“Who’s everyone?”
“Scott, who you met, his sister Lucia, a few people from the unit and a couple from the ship.”
“So, an entourage?” I laughed.
“Yeah, a bit.”
“Well, I brought the SUV because it seats seven, but it sounds like there’ll be too many people…”
“Most of the time, we split up into cars based on when people want to head back.”
“Smart. Well, I don’t mind if we take the SUV, or we can take your dick on wheels.”
Looking back at him, I scoffed, “Don’t diss the ride, asshole.”
I didn’t know if he was being rude or just cutting a joke.
“I’m not dissing the ride. I had the same model, and I loved it.”
“What happened to it?”
I laughed. “My asshole younger cousin wrapped it around a tree.”
“Seriously?” I asked, looking over at the car as I unlocked the door.
“Oh yeah, and I got my ass chewed for it because I’d left the car running, and he jumped in for a joyride.”
“Two things. One, how’s that your fault, and two, you seriously left the keys in the ignition?”
“Because I left him alone in a running vehicle when I was supposed to be monitoring him. I was trying to find my wallet and got distracted by the hot new ranch hand and his pretty sister. As for the keys, the ranch is pretty far off the beaten path. It’s not uncommon for us to leave the keys in a car or even running.”
A huffed laugh escaped, and I joked. “You hillbillies.”
“What’s that supposed mean?” he asked, but he didn’t seem offended.
“Even when we lived on the rez when I was a kid, no one ever left their car running or the keys in it.”
“I’m probably being an assuming ass, but with the Spanish, I thought you were Hispanic.”
Pausing as I turned the key in the door, I looked back at him. “I am Hispanic, but I’m also Native American.”
“Well, it’s no wonder you’re so fucking gorgeous, and it explains the sexy ass cheekbones and the beautiful skin tone.”
I stared down at him, and the desire I felt surged forward as I took his mouth with mine. Our tongues tangled while I finished unlocking the door. We stumbled in, and I slammed it with a foot.
Declan shoved me against the wall next to the door. I tried pulling his mouth back to mine, but he slipped from my grasp. His knees thudded as they hit the floor. He made quick work of the military-issued belt and uniform pants, tugging them and my boxer briefs down.
“Fuck you’re gorgeous.”
“You talking to me or my dick, vato?”
Those beautiful blue-green eyes looked up at me through the fringe of his lashes. “Both,” he murmured before swallowing me whole.
He worked me over like cocksucking was an Olympic sport, and he was the reigning gold medalist. Slurps and sucks filled the air, and I let my head fall back against the wall, carding my fingers through the longer hair on the top of his head.
Knowing he got sensitive the other night when I took control, I let him lead the way for as long as I could. As the orgasm hovering in the periphery forced its way into my mind, I curled a hand around the hair on top of his head, fisting it. The other wrapped around the back of his head, holding him in place, as my cock pushed into this mouth as far as I could get.
I looked down at him. His eyes watered. Drool ran down his chin. The sight of him had my cock twitching, and he took a deep breath in through his nose.
“Look at you, vato. You’re so damn beautiful. Those lips were made to suck my dick.”
I watched the praise rain down over him, and he relaxed. His hand, which had been gripping my thighs brutally slackened, and the near-panicked look in his eyes receded.
“Do you remember your safe words?”
He nodded, unable to move with the way I held him in place.
“When I have you silenced like this, one tap on my leg is green, a double tap is yellow, and three taps is red. Do you understand?”
Another nod and a tap.
“Good. Now, I’m going to fuck your face. You good with that?”
He tapped my leg once.
I groaned and thrust a little deeper before pulling out slowly, letting the scrape of his teeth send shocks through my system.
My dick slid in and out of his mouth, glistening with his saliva and my precum. His eyes had slid closed, his face as relaxed as possible, given the size of my dick and how hard I fucked his face. He looked like the poster boy for submission.
The more we spoke and were together, the more I realized I’d stumbled across something I’d only heard of—a submissive, versatile top. I’d heard of switches, but Declan was the first I’d come across. Granted, I wasn’t super kinky. It’s one reason why I didn’t say I was a Dom or a Daddy because I didn’t want people to assume anything beyond what they were getting, a vers guy with a dominant, control streak. The other was my job made having that sort of relationship difficult.
Declan humbled me. Given the right partner and situation, he was probably a force to be reckoned with, but with me, domination fell away, and he embraced a side of himself that I was certain he didn’t know lived inside him. I just hoped that when we’d both gotten off, he didn’t flip out like he had last week.
He mewled, the sound vibrating around my shaft and against the head of my dick, and I nearly came. The tingles it caused set off a battery of fireworks throughout my body, and I growled, pulling him up off the floor and shoving him face-first into the wall.
“Color?”
“Green, goddammit. Now, fuck me.”