18. Declan
18
DECLAN
W e hadn’t slept since we woke up the previous day, but I wasn’t complaining. I had my husband back. We were in the kitchen, and I was getting ready to make us something to eat while he leaned against the counter and popped ingredients in his mouth.
I’d fucking missed this. Mama and Daddy had always told me that life’s big moments tested the strength of a marriage, but that the little moments cemented a marriage’s foundation. They always said to pack as many little moments between all the big ones so that when those big moments tested you, your marriage would survive.
I believed it more now than ever before.
I stopped chopping when one of my favorite songs came on. Taking a page out of my parents’ playbook of little moments, I held my hand out to Hayden as he snatched a piece of red pepper from the cutting board. He shook his head and popped the vibrant chunk in his mouth.
I smiled at him, rolling my eyes as I said, “Dance with me, Papi.”
Realization dawned. He stepped away from the counter, tucking my hand in his before pulling me into his arms and resting his forehead against mine. His heart beat under our joined hands. The silky strands of his hair, completely free and hanging down around his shoulders, caressed my fingers as I threaded them through the cool, dark curtain.
“I love your hair,” I whispered.
Hayden tucked his head close to my ear.
“I love everything about you.”
My eyes burned behind my closed lids, and I opened them a tiny bit, hoping the tears didn’t fall, because I had to see him. Only it wasn’t him I saw. It was her. The girl we wanted to be ours. Half the night was spent fucking to fantasies of what we could and would do to and with her when she joined us.
Because it was a when, not an if.
She wanted us. She had from the moment her eyes connected with each of ours. I knew it in my bones because that’s the way it happened between Hayden and me, and again when she bumped into me in the hall. Like my soul found its missing pieces. With Hayden, his piece fit, but there was something off. It wasn’t a perfect fit.
Not like it had been the first time I had them both in the same room in my field of vision. The first time I laid eyes on the two of them together, their individual puzzle pieces slotted together to fill the hole in my soul reserved for them alone.
Closing my eyes so she didn’t realize I’d seen her, I whispered, “She’s watching us.”
“Hmm. Good, but I wish she’d join us, don’t you?”
“Umm hmm.” Then an idea struck. “Trust me?”
“Yes. I’ll never make that mistake again.”
“Good. Play along, and spin me.”