24. Kara
24
KARA
“ H op. Hop. Both feet. Hop,” Grayson coached, while Hayley Jade made her way across a hopscotch grid I’d drawn onto the concrete patio at the compound.
She coordinated her limbs into the combination of moves required to play the game, pigtails bouncing, Grayson teaching all three girls at once.
I watched from the edge of the concrete, absentmindedly doodling chalk flowers and leaves, and just enjoying the sounds of my child, my niece, and my sister playing together.
Remi tugged Jax’s arm. “Hayley Jade wants you to come play Barbies with us. Do you want to?”
Hayley Jade hadn’t said a word, but it was clear from the way she nodded and the excitement in her eyes that Remi was right. She and Hayley Jade had developed a strong bond, and even without speaking or signing, Remi was empathetic enough to pay close attention to everything Hayley Jade did. She was a lot like Fang in that respect. Quietly watching, making sure everyone around her was taken care of.
Jax, despite being years older than both girls, nodded. “Sure. Let’s go inside.” Then she paused and looked over at me. “Unless there’s something you want me to do? I could prepare dinner? It’s getting late. Or clean. Or do some laundry?”
I got to my feet, brushing the chalk dust off my hands. “You’re already doing what you should be doing.”
She glanced over at the hopscotch game they’d abandoned. “I’m just playing.”
I put my arm around her neck. “Exactly.”
“I’m too old to play.”
“Says who?” Grayson hopped his way backward down the hopscotch grid to land at our feet. “I didn’t hear anyone giving you a hard time. The girls are loving having their aunt here to entertain them.” He grinned at her. “We gotta get you up to speed for the next family day at the club. Hopscotch is one thing, but I hear Scythe is Double Dutch champion, and I have my eye on his crown.” Grayson cocked his head to one side, studying Jax like a coach would his star athlete. “Maybe ring toss is more your thing? Strong arms. I think Kian has the title for that one, but I reckon you could take him.”
She raised one shoulder. “At home, I always had chores…”
I squeezed her arm, hating she hadn’t been able to have a childhood. “You’ll have them here too. Don’t worry, you aren’t getting off scot-free. But you get a few days’ grace after what you’ve been through.”
Most thirteen-year-olds would have been too old for Barbies and would have found their two little nieces irritating, but Jax had spent her entire childhood acting like an adult. So when she scurried off to sit on the floor of the bedroom she was currently sharing with Hayley Jade and let the two girls use her as a mountain for their dolls to climb, all I could do was smile.
Grayson wrapped an arm around me. “Want to play hopscotch?”
I twisted in his arms and peered up at him over my shoulder. “Seriously? Do you also plan to take the hopscotch title from Lexa? You do know she’s only five, right?”
He chuckled, nuzzling his face into the side of my neck. “Actually, I just wanted to watch your boobs bounce.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed him away, right as a commotion kicked up in the common room. Everybody shouted at once, and Grayson and I both paused, peering through the doorway to see what was going on. Everyone was in the main living area, staring at the big-screen TV.
“Kara!” Rebel bellowed. “You better get in here.”
“That can’t be good.” I pulled away to link my fingers between Grayson’s. I led him inside to join the group gathering around the TV. “What’s going on…?”
All Rebel did was point.
A still image of Josiah’s face filled the screen, and a newscaster’s voice came through the speakers. “Breaking news this hour of a police raid on a religious cult in Texas known locally as Ethereal Eden. Their leader, John Gooseman, known to his followers as The Prophet Josiah, is tonight in custody after police descended upon a property and seized extensive evidence of fraud and child pornography.”
Hayden whistled under his breath. “Can’t believe the media is only just catching on to this.”
The newscaster carried on. “It’s believed police had suspicions Gooseman was involved in the murder of Alice Churchill, a former group member who was murdered in a city alley earlier this year. Gooseman was transferred to Saint View Maximum Security Prison after he was released from medical custody, to be questioned further on the murder by local detectives running the case. Police say he has now been cleared of any suspicions relating to Ms. Churchill’s death. The case for her killer remains open, and detectives are now searching for other suspects.”
I scratched at my arms nervously, staring at my husband’s eyes, cruel even in a photo. They’d picked one that truly made him look like the lunatic he was, with his hair sticking up in every direction and his lips twisted in a snarl of anger. I didn’t know where they’d gotten the photo from, but it was a nice portrayal of the evil man I knew him to be.
“Turn it off,” I mumbled. “I don’t want to hear any more about it.”
I turned away and wrapped my arms around myself, reminding my triggered brain I was safe, my girls were here, and Josiah was where I wanted him to be. Behind bars.
He’d never get out of prison. Hawk and Scythe had already promised, if there was even the slightest hint that he’d be up for parole, they’d have someone kill him in jail.
I wouldn’t feel an ounce of remorse if that’s what it came to.
“You okay?” Grayson asked softly.
I shook my head sadly. “No. Not really. I’m glad he’s in jail, of course. It’s what I wanted. But if the police don’t think he was involved with Alice’s murder, then it has to be the man she was talking to online. Right?”
Hayden moved in on my other side, catching the end of the conversation. “They have the text messages from Kyle’s phone now. We’ve given them everything. At least they’re looking in the right place. We’ve done all we can do. We just have to let them do their jobs.”
“It just doesn’t feel like enough. The police said it could be months before they can get access to that app’s data and that even if they can, there’s every chance the killer was smart enough to conceal any traces of a trail that could lead back to him.”
Grayson pressed a kiss to the top of my head and just let me breathe in his arms for a moment, until my muscles relaxed enough that I wasn’t going to break out in trembles. He cleared his throat, eyeing Hayden, and then gazing back down at me. “Maybe it’s time we organized a funeral.”
During one of the numerous interviews we’d done with the police over the last week, we’d been informed Alice’s body was finally being released, and we could now put her body to rest.
It had been both a relief and a burden, one I hadn’t been able to deal with for the last few days while I took care of my traumatized sister and made sure she felt safe and happy in her new home.
But Grayson and Hayden were right. I needed to put Alice’s death behind me so I could move on and be fully present for the people still here. Being distracted all the time, thinking about those messages and the man who’d sent them to her wasn’t getting her murder solved or doing anyone any good.
It was time to say goodbye to her and make my peace with knowing we might never know who had killed her. At this point, I wasn’t sure it would make a difference anyway. It wouldn’t bring her back.
I nodded and then got to my feet, crossing the room to where Rebel was perched on the arm of a couch, shaking her head at the TV screen still going through the details of Ethereal Eden’s history and how a man name John Gooseman had managed to brainwash at least a hundred people into thinking he was some sort of portal to the Lord.
It sounded so stupid when they put it like that. So simple it was nearly impossible to believe anyone had fallen for his lies.
But nobody could judge us unless they’d been there. Josiah was a master manipulator, a sociopath who could lie straight to your face without feeling an ounce of remorse.
I refused to be made a mockery of.
I leaned over, picked up the remote, and turned the TV off.
Everyone looked to me, a position that would have had me crumbling in on myself not all that long ago and staring at my feet, my voice stolen by fear and shame.
Not anymore. “I want to organize a funeral for Alice.”
Rebel reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I’ll help.”
“We all will.” War had his baby son asleep on his shoulder. He rubbed his tiny back absentmindedly. “Whatever you need us to do, Kara, just let us know. We’re all here for you.”
I smiled at him, forever grateful for his kind heart. He hadn’t even blinked when we’d arrived back from Ethereal Eden with Shari, Kyle’s parents, and Jax in tow.
He’d simply opened the gates and made room in his family for all of us. Kyle’s parents were down in his cabin with him for now, until more could be built, or they found a place of their own nearby. Shari had taken my room, since I had places in both Hayden and Hawk’s beds. If Grayson stayed, we were all in the one room anyway, not doing much in the way of sleeping.
War had already started making plans for more residences within the compound. They had more than enough land to make room for everyone, and I could see the pride in War’s eyes when he looked around at the safety he provided for those who needed it most.
I thanked him. “I think it would be best for a funeral home to sort out the details of the burial. But…” I cracked a little smile. “I think Alice would have hated if her funeral was just a solemn, gray occasion. Josiah never believed in celebrating a person’s life after their death. He said it served no purpose and drew attention away from praying for the living. We only had a burial ritual so our souls could enter Heaven to eventually be reborn.”
“Pfft,” Rebel scoffed. “What about celebrating the fact they were alive? Having time to grieve as a community? Sharing embarrassing stories about them now that they’re not around to protest?”
“And getting drunk!” Aloha shouted, raising the beer bottle he’d been sipping on.
I chuckled, instinctively knowing he and Alice would have gotten on like a house on fire if they’d ever had the chance to meet. It still hurt my heart she’d never got to see this. Me and Hayley Jade happy. Settled. In a home with people who loved us. Who would have loved her too.
I felt myself slipping into grief and anger again, but this time I pulled myself out, not wanting to linger there. “I know most of you didn’t know her, but—”
“Doesn’t matter. She’s family.” Aloha winked at me. “So we’re going to throw her the party of the century. One so fucking big and loud she’ll hear it from wherever the fuck Heaven is.”
I laughed when everyone else cheered. Hayden grabbed a notepad from the table and started jotting down ideas for food.
Queenie stole a piece of paper from his notepad and took a pen from her huge, messy bun. “What sort of music did she like? I’ll put a playlist together.”
“I don’t think she would have known any popular music.” I cringed, hating she’d never really gotten to have that simple pleasure. “Just pick whatever your favorites are.”
“Cardi B it is then!”
I didn’t know what a Cardi B was, but if it made Queenie happy then I was sure I’d love it too.
Hawk called out to Hayden. “Toss me my phone. I’ll call Ice. Tell him to be back from the Louisiana chapter in time and to bring back some of that rum from the distillery they have there. He can organize flowers too. He used to bang a girl from the flower shop.”
War glanced over at the mention of the Louisiana chapter. “Is he still there? What the fuck is taking Riot so long to get those guns he owes us?”
Hawk shook his head. “I dunno. Ice has been waiting around there for a week. Riot is just wasting all of our time at this point.” He punched something onto his screen, presumably bringing up Ice’s phone number, and held the phone to his ear, waiting for Ice to answer.
War pressed his lips into a hard line. “Tell Ice to tell Riot that he’ll be dealing with me rather than my prospect if Ice isn’t back on the road with those guns in time for the funeral. Riot can pay for the rum as compensation for wasting my fucking time, so tell Ice to buy a fucking lot of it.”
“You know it.” Hawk turned away to take the call somewhere quieter.
Everyone found themselves with something to organize, pitching in, leaning on their strengths and contacts, coming together as a family was supposed to.
Rebel nudged me with her hip, her hands resting on her growing baby bump. “I got Queenie to add some Paramore to her playlist.”
I tried to smile at the mention of Rebel’s favorite band. “I would expect no less than three songs.”
“Good, because I picked five.”
I loved that. “Perfect.”
Her smile fell away. “It gets easier. With time. The missing them.”
I breathed out slowly, sure she meant Alice, but it wasn’t just her I felt like I was saying goodbye to. It was my sisters left behind, and my parents as well. “I hope so. I just wish Mom had come with us. Naomi and Samantha too.”
“It’s okay to let them go, you know? Not just Alice, but your mom and sisters too. You did everything you could. Their decisions are theirs. You aren’t responsible for saving them.”
“I know.”
“But you wish you could have saved them anyway?” She sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know how I ended up surrounded by so many people with savior complexes. You fit in well here, you do know that, right? You’re all a danger to yourselves. Your New Year’s resolution should be to be more selfish. You know there’s a cake in the refrigerator? You could just go eat the whole thing and not share a bit.”
I hid a laugh. “But I’d feel awful nobody else got to enjoy it.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re proving my point. Sometimes it’s okay to eat the whole cake.”
I squinted at her. “Wouldn’t that give you a really bad stomachache? I think I’d be vomiting for days.”
She screwed up her face, considering it. “Okay, I think my metaphor got a little off track. Vomiting was definitely not the point.”
“What was?”
“I really don’t know. This pregnancy has turned my brain to mush. Or maybe it’s the having four kids under five? I don’t think I’ve slept more than two hours at a time since the twins were born.”
I reached out and put my hand on her belly. Instantly, her little baby gave my hand a solid kick, trying to remove the weight. I grinned. “I can’t wait until I can feel mine.”
“I’m just jealous you aren’t sick. Why did I get a baby still making me vomit well past first trimester?” She paused, suddenly cringing.
I grimaced. “You thinking about puking right now?”
“I think it was all the talk of cake.” She clapped her hand over her mouth and hightailed it toward the bathroom, shoving bikers out of the way as she went.
I followed after to hold her hair back.
Because that’s what true family did.