Chapter 12 #2
She realized her words could be taken to mean that she wished he would stay home. She quickly added, “That is not to say that you are unwelcome. I only ask, because I am curious what could motivate you to deliberately place yourself in an uncomfortable situation.”
Because if I stayed behind, Miss Bingley would offer to keep me company.
Out loud, he said, “One can only spend so many hours alone before one grows too morose for comfort. While this may not be my favorite activity, it is somewhat better than being completely alone.”
Elizabeth did not know how to respond to such a statement. Between the discomfort he described and his reasons for putting up with it, he had painted a picture of such a lonely life that she would not have been able to bear it.
Something of her thoughts must have shown on her face, however, for Mr. Darcy said, “There is no need to look so sad on my account. My days are usually quite interesting, and not all my evenings are boring. Most evenings so far at Netherfield, we have all played cards together. While it is not my favorite pastime, it certainly keeps the demon of boredom at bay.”
“I imagine life in London is not quite so boring,” said Elizabeth, attempting to change the subject. He was obviously uncomfortable talking about his time at Netherfield, and Elizabeth began to wonder if Miss Bingley was a bigger problem for him than he let on.
He chuckled. “Not in the same way, no. Although, I suppose it depends on the time of year. I have quite a few friends who come to London every winter to escape the dullness of winter in the country. We talk about politics, the news, business, and even occasionally about estate management. I am seldom bored with them.”
Elizabeth wanted to ask what it was about the company at Netherfield that was so different from the company in London, but she refrained. Already, she felt as though their discussion had become too personal for near strangers.
“I am glad to hear it,” she said. “I suppose it is time to return to the drawing room. I believe I have cooled off a bit, and we would not wish to be gone too long, or whispers will circulate.”
Mr. Darcy stood and turned to help her up. With just a moment of hesitation, she placed her hand in his.
As she stood, he said, “I would like to correct something you said earlier, if I may. You mentioned that I am well above your touch, but I believe that to be wholly incorrect. We are equals, Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”
She did not have a chance to respond to such a statement as he led her back into the drawing room.
As they entered the room, the first thing Elizabeth heard was Lydia’s voice calling across the room. “Mary, play some dancing music. I am sure everyone would be much happier with that than with another concerto.”
Elizabeth just barely stifled a groan as she said, “I apologize for my sister’s atrocious manners, Mr. Darcy.”
Atrocious, indeed, was the thought that drifted from his mind to hers. Aloud, however, he said, “There is no need for you to apologize. If there is to be dancing, I would very much like to secure your hand for one of them. I imagine you will be quite in demand for such an activity.”
“I had hoped to avoid joining in with dancing that began with such rudeness,” said Elizabeth.
She glanced around the room and saw several gentlemen’s gazes turn toward her as Mary agreed to play for them all.
She sighed. “I suppose it can’t be helped, however.
If I must dance, I will accept your offer gratefully. ”
Mr. Darcy’s chuckle drew her attention to him. Once she was fully staring, he looked at her with laughter still in his eyes. “I don’t believe I have ever experienced such a begrudging acceptance before. I will do my best to not be an embarrassment to you.”
Elizabeth felt her cheeks warm in a blush. “I apologize, Mr. Darcy. I did not mean it as an insult. In fact, what I was trying to say was that, if I must dance, it would be better to do so with you than with any other gentleman here.”
As the words came tumbling out, Elizabeth wished she could stuff them back in. It was an incredibly forward thing to say, no matter how true it might be. Her cheeks flamed even brighter as she began to feel swallowed up in embarrassment.
“The sentiment is very much reciprocated.” Mr. Darcy’s warm voice poured over her. It had a gentle quality to it that she had not heard before. “Shall we?” He held out his arm for her to take, so he could guide them both to where the dancers were lining up.
“Yes, thank you,” she said.
As they danced, Elizabeth was a confusing mess of emotions.
She was ashamed by Lydia and Kitty’s forward behavior with their partners, one of whom was Captain Carter.
She was pleased to finally be dancing with a pleasant partner.
She was embarrassed by her lack of conversation.
And she was warm all over due to Mr. Darcy’s clearly admiring gaze.
They didn’t speak much. Elizabeth was too overcome with emotion to be able to form a coherent thought, so she could not begin a conversation.
He seemed unwilling to speak. She wished some of his thoughts would surface, so she could at least have some inkling as to what he was thinking, but nothing came.
She was beginning to think that Jeanie’s method of granting her wish wasn’t quite so useful after all.
When the dance was over, she barely had enough time to thank him before her next dance was claimed by John Lucas, who had been dancing right next to them. With a clearly reluctant sigh, she accepted his offer, and after giving her a sympathetic smile, Mr. Darcy drifted away.