Chapter 36
PARKER
Painted glass windows point out over the Bellthorn landscape, but the colors are too deep to see out unless you press your eyes up against them.
Benches and other features are built into the stone itself, and the shape is awfully similar to a pew.
I never really thought of this place that way, but we are here to worship her.
Sable walks through the space, a quiet awe lighting her expression, making her so beautiful it nearly hurts to look at her.
The pain is entirely different from the pain of missing her, but it’s stained with it.
I’ll never be the same again, knowing how much it hurts to lose her.
A pile of wood already sits stacked inside the stove, standing in the center of the space just waiting.
I find the long box of matches and light one, tucking it between the logs and watching it catch easily.
Someone likely prepped this for tomorrow, but I don’t care much when it comes to spoiling Sable.
The flames kick up quickly, so I close the door and turn the knobs to let air in and let the smoke out until all the settings are right.
Everyone watches me curiously as I grab a bowl with a handle and dip it into a large stone basin of water.
Pouring the water over the plate, steam begins to fill the air.
A few more scoops and the steam is thick and rolling.
“Let’s get you out of those clothes,” I say to Sable, but when I turn, I find Orion has already stripped naked.
Jesus Christ. The droplets are thick enough in the air that I can see where his dick starts but not where it ends.
I roll my eyes, but my enthusiasm isn’t far behind his.
The guys haven’t said anything about it, but I’m almost sure from how calm their energy seems that they’ve been with her.
That’s yet another reason I want to throttle them all.
This is another reason Orion is easier to forgive. He hasn’t had her either.
Resentment flares in me. I should have been with them when they went to find her, and I don’t understand for a moment where this sudden alliance came from.
A silent moment passes where Sable touches my hand, and her soft eyes soothe the demons inside me.
She spreads my fingers with her own and tangles them intimately.
Drawing that hand to her hip, she gives me permission to do what I asked of her.
“Are you sure?” I say, hands and breath shaking because I truly feared I’d never be in this position again. After years of living and breathing for her, I thought I’d failed.
“I’m sure, but you can’t get too upset, okay?” Her voice shakes a little, and that uncertainty nearly breaks me.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I ask her, but there’s a sadness in the air around me that tells me Orion and I are the last to know again.
“I told you he hurt me, but I didn’t say everything.”
My hands shake as they pull up her shirt and reveal a large bandage. “What is this?” I swallow hard as my fingers skate over the cloth so lightly.
“Something that won’t fade on its own,” she says. Her hands move as if she’s going to remove the bandage.
“Don’t,” Lex and I say at the same time. It’s not that I won’t face what’s been done to her, but she seems far too injured.
“You need to keep it covered. An infection would be bad,” Lex tells her as he takes the spot at her back. His hands move to her pants, but she shakes her head.
“That’s Parker’s job.”
“What about me?” Orion pouts as he stands at her side like a dog waiting for a treat.
Sable smiles at him like he amuses her, and despite my efforts to dislike him, I have to admit he’s really grown on me, especially now that he’s made her smile.
I’m surprisingly willing to forgive him for this mess with Arabella.
My anger toward him is nearly entirely gone already.
Pulling off Sable’s pants, I’m relieved to find there aren’t any more bandages, but she is too damn skinny.
Any guilt I might have had for hurting myself over the past month leaves swiftly.
Each day she was gone, she suffered, and what I felt wasn’t even a weak shadow of her pain.
At least she wasn’t entirely alone. We were both suffering together in a way.
I drop to my knees in front of her, gripping her hips and pulling her into my nose so I can smell her straight from the source.
She gasps. Her hands wind in my hair as she tries to get her balance, but I’m not going to let her go anywhere.
“Parker,” she whines, but the complaint sounds half-hearted at best.
“There are more knobs,” one of them comments before water starts flowing from the multiple valves around the ceiling.
The effect is like rain, and there is something almost spiritual about this place.
It’s certainly meditative, with the warm stone and water all around.
Her panties go last, and I stuff them into my pocket for safekeeping.
“Sometimes Bellthorn freaks me out so much that I forget how beautiful the castle actually is,” Sable comments as she looks down at me.
“You’re all wet. Let’s get your clothes off.
” Her pretty blue eyes widen with hot intention, and I want to return her energy more than anything.
She reaches toward me, grabbing my shirt, and it’s my turn to act suspicious.
None of them knows what’s been going on with me, and I certainly didn’t do it for their attention.
The kind of pain I was in without her only had one outlet, and it was physical.
The signs of that line my body, and I’m suddenly filled with bone-deep shame at the thought of her discovering it.
“Uh, I don’t know if you should.” The words come out brittle, and she bends her pretty blond eyebrow at me as if to question my sanity, but she stops immediately.
“So you’re going to what, fuck me fully dressed and soaking wet?”
“Yes,” I answer, glad that she took it upon herself to offer me a suggestion.
“It’s not the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” Orion says. “But why are you so opposed to taking it off, Park? We’ve all seen it.”
They have not.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Sable assures me, but a sadness and concern crinkle the edges of her eyes.
This might be worse than her knowing the truth.
I can’t stand for her to be the one to take off my shirt and discover what I’ve done.
Some semblance of control should remain with me.
“You can’t get too upset, okay?” I say, echoing her words from earlier.
She swallows hard, immediately bracing herself for what she’s about to see. She nods.
My shirt is up and over my head in one fluid move.
Her delicate gasp is like a knife to the heart.
The fabric drops to the floor beside us, and her eyes run over the thick patch of purple bruises that disappear beneath the hem of my pants.
A few thick gashes from the trophy’s base are just scabbing over.
“What happened?” Tears hang in her voice, and I hate that she’s worried for me.
“Someone had to pay for you being gone.” The words are nothing but the truth, yet they illicit a sob. I look up, finding her bruised but beautiful face scrunched in distress, her eyes full of tears.
“What do you mean pay?” she says, but she can easily see what I mean. They all can.
My fingers move on their own, touching the unharmed part of her cheek. I plan to kiss each and every bruise later. Every spot on her body that could possibly cause her harm or pleasure, I plan to worship them all. “It’s fine, baby, we match.”
“I didn’t do this to myself,” she says, like that will change my mind about my actions.
“I’ll have to pay for that too,” I answer, giving her nothing but the complete truth. Alarm flashes in her eyes, and she grips my face in both her hands like her insistence can prevent the inevitable.
“You’re done paying,” she insists.
“I would love to agree with you, baby, but you’re wrong on this one.”
“Damn, and I thought I was taking things hard,” Orion says, giving me a look as if to size up some competition he didn’t realize he had.
“Fine,” she says, a different type of light entering her eyes. “You’re going to start paying right now.”