Chapter 68 Sable
SABLE
The coffee is bitter on my tongue as I lean against Lex’s counter, adding to my bad mood.
Secrets swell and pile, making my brain feel like an outdated computer, and no amount of crappy-tasting caffeine seems to be helping.
Losing the bedroom hurts, but losing the bedroom when it was supposed to be mine is something I can’t let go.
Questions that Nina posed swirl through my head too, and I’m no closer to a conclusion there either.
A part of me trusts her, and there’s some deep connection there urging me to believe her, but she herself told me I’m stupid not to ask more questions. Of course I have to question this.
The guys are off doing different things this morning.
All of them have ideas about how to handle this and what to do next.
Once again, I feel like the weakest link, too fragile to offer anything to the situation.
Maybe there was a time I was okay with that, but it’s long gone now.
Now, I need to do something other than sit on my hands to keep me from shoving a shoe through someone else’s eye.
I’m supposed to have Cillian’s class today, but that asshole was nowhere to be found. Will he show up today out of the blue? It wouldn’t be the strangest thing he’s done. Whatever winds up happening I can’t simply stay in and think about everything I hate. Too many people want to prevent that.
“Eat something, Sable,” Lex insists, waving a plate of pancakes he made in front of my nose as I stare into space.
He brings me forcefully back to the present, and I sigh as I look at him and the food I can’t stomach.
Lex arches an eyebrow when I don’t take the plate from his hand right away.
I never refuse food, especially when it’s delicious, fluffy pancakes made by a hot guy, but the lump in my throat is making it impossible for me to just sit down and have breakfast like nothing happened.
“Come on,” he says, staring back unblinking, and I realize this may not be a fight worth having.
With an eye roll, I take the plate and move to the table, sitting down and feeling even more caged.
He places a bottle of syrup next to me, and I dutifully pour it on.
He watches carefully, forcing me to give up on the idea of moving the food around my plate.
I take a bite under his gaze and hum with approval when the sugar hits my tongue. Maybe I can eat, after all.
“What can I do to make you relax?” he asks. “I hate seeing you this tense, and it’s not good for your recovery.” Lex, more than the other guys, realizes how deep the injuries I got fighting my uncle run.
“I don’t know at this point,” I say honestly, and I’m not being difficult. Things keep piling up, and just a desire to survive won’t cut it anymore. There are too many lies out there, and if I keep running, I’ll run for the rest of my life.
“Anything?” he presses.
“Finding out what is going on.” I sigh. “Whatever our parents did, we can’t ignore it anymore. I can’t keep running when they tell me to run. I need to know why the four families decided to destroy both of my families.”
Lex looks at me carefully, his eyes clinical, and I shift in the seat, eating more of the pancake. It feels like he knows something I don’t as the loaded silence builds all around us.
“And what are you going to do with us once you uncover everything about the four families?” he asks. Guilt, fear, and a bit of vulnerability add to whatever he feels so strongly about.
Of everything I expected him to say, this wasn’t it. I shake my head, eyes narrowing. “What does that mean, do with you?”
Lex shrugs. “I know enough about them to know things are not going to be pretty. Whatever the reason they had behind it all, the fact remains that they destroyed your dad and his family. What they pinned on him changed your life. We are responsible for all of that in a way.”
“And then they brought me here to be your whore,” I say, adding to his misery unintentionally. “ Responsible?” I ask. That’s incredibly silly. “Do you expect me to blame you for all of that and run away again?” That guilt flashes brighter.
“When you thought it was just Parker, you were more accepting,” he says, taking the seat beside me. “This is all a lot heavier than a boyhood stalker.”
“Yes, it is,” I agree. Things are far more complicated here at Bellthorn than I ever dreamed.
“However, Parker is an idiot, but I think he means well.” We both chuckle with that one.
“But really, he wanted to protect me, and he did. He brought me in when Uncle Carl was the alternative, and we know how that went. My feelings are complicated, but no, I don’t blame you guys, Lex. ”
My hand absently finds the opening on my robe, and I touch the scar Uncle Carl gave me.
It looks much better than before. Lex was careful with the stitching, but it’s not close to being fully healed.
I argued with the guys about scheduling the removal, but the appointment can’t come fast enough now.
“Most days I want to kill that fucker for you all over again.” Lex’s eyes are hard, his hands closing into fists.
“It’s done now.” I wave his beautiful words away. I would have loved to watch them all kill him instead of having to fight for my life, but there’s no changing it.
“You shouldn’t be so quick to forgive the heirs of the people who destroyed every single thing you love,” he says, and his guilt is starting to make perfect sense to me.
I lean over the table, resting the fork and knife against the plate. “What if they are now what I love the most? Why wouldn’t I forgive them for things they didn’t do? The sins of the father don’t belong to the son, Lex.”
A small smile curves his lips, bringing butterflies into my belly.
“Are you religious all of a sudden, Miss Briarwick?”
I’m always nervous when he takes on that tone. “No, not particularly.” I’m a murderer now, so that probably wouldn’t be great for my future afterlife.
He ignores what I said. “Still, I think I deserve a punishment just for carrying the name Morwen, and maybe you’d like some atonement?”
“What are you talking about, Lex?” I laugh. There’s nothing for him to atone for. He smirks at me to cover his true feelings, and I know a thousand dirty ideas are running through his mind. He’s excellent at distraction.
My toes curl over the wooden floor when he stands, flashing his index finger to ask for a moment.
A smile spreads across my cheeks, and it’s criminal how he can make me feel so good in the middle of all this.
Just his smirk is enough to fill me with excitement instead of dread.
Lex returns holding a leash I recognize well.
Swallowing, I remember the feel of it snapping around my neck a few months ago.
It wasn’t that long, but everything is different now, and it feels like much more time has passed.
I stand, marveling at the idea of trying to go back to that after everything.
My hands stretch toward the collar, but to my surprise, he pulls it out of reach and hands me the lead instead.
“Who says you’re the one wearing it?” A brow raises over his stunning green eyes.
“Are you wearing it?” I laugh ’cause there’s no way Lex Morwen is about to walk around on a leash.
He dips his chin slowly before lacing his arm around my waist. “Why, Miss Briarwick, you think that you’re the only one allowed to have fun?”
He hands me the rest of the leash slowly, and I smile at the challenge.
I’m feeling giddy, and my chest flushes as I lean into him.
I drop the lead and hold both ends of the buckles as I wrap the collar around his neck.
I hesitate before fastening it, waiting for him to change his mind at any point.
He remains still, and our bodies touch along every inch as I finally slide the straps into place.
He leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips.
“Go get dressed,” he whispers against my mouth. “Take me for a walk.”
Damn, I planned to wallow for a full day, but I can’t ignore an invitation like this.
My favorite dresses were lost when they locked me out of my bedroom, but thankfully, I didn’t move all the boxes out of the guys’ rooms. I find a beautiful leather corset and know right away it will go perfectly with the leash.
I put everything on quickly and came back to the room to find Lex waiting, playing with the end of the leash.
“Ready?”
His eyes devour me as I take the leash from his hand and give a tentative pull.
He stumbles into my chest, not expecting the move.
When he falls, I feel the evidence of his want, his hard cock pushing against my belly.
That’s suddenly the only thing I can think about, but I won’t ruin this opportunity by being impatient.
I peel my body from his before I fall into temptation.
“Let’s go,” I say, half lying.