Chapter 34 Lore #2
Even if I’d passed my other tests and Trials, this…
whatever this test was, I couldn’t harm Sloth.
No matter that he might not actually be the prince, but some dark glamour of him.
If the Liber Noctem was Nyantha’s power, then maybe this prince was created from my dream magic.
I was losing all sense of what was real.
His thumb traced the seam of my lips until they parted involuntarily.
I swore a flicker of emotion crossed his face; it was like a shadow passing over the sun before it vanished along with his touch.
He gestured with a sharp nod behind me. “It’s time to take the throne.”
That sounded like a terrible idea.
I glanced over his shoulder and wished I hadn’t.
The ominous throne was no longer empty.
A faceless figure rose with slow, eerie grace.
It truly was something out of a nightmare, and I was both captivated and unnerved by the sight. I wanted to look away but couldn’t. It was as if my eyes were ensnared by the power radiating from her.
The figure had materialized from the very shadows themselves and was dressed in a gown fit for the gods. She was not corporeal, but looked like a ghost or shade of what she’d once been. The gown, though, that was real.
Even being terrified, I couldn’t help but admire it—the fabric was unlike anything I’d ever seen.
Midnight blues and deep indigos cascaded like liquid shadows down her body, the fabric adorned with gemstones that glimmered like stars plucked from the night sky.
Her dress was not fit for just any deity; it was perfect for the Goddess of Night herself.
Which, as she hovered there, faceless and silent, I realized was exactly who she was. There stood Nyantha. Or the essence of the goddess. Her spirit.
The most wicked of the old gods. Even without physical form she was formidable.
And I was completely frozen in place. Not by fear or magic but by a strange reverberation that bounced between us. I should be falling to my knees, averting my gaze. Offering up a gift like so many in our village used to do.
And yet… the essence called to me. Softly, gently. Like it had been waiting for my return.
But somewhere deep inside me, I almost swore I heard another voice. A beloved one.
Sloth’s voice haunted me even more than the chanting voices of our spectral audience. But it was probably just some twisted ploy by the Book of Nightmares.
My prince wasn’t here. He hadn’t been calling out for me.
He’d never been calling out for me.
Maybe he never existed outside of my imagination. Maybe the Book of Nightmares created a leading love interest from the depths of my dreams.
And that… crushed me. To think that I could have fallen in love only for it to have been one more figment of my imagination.
It was all some elaborate magic designed to tear me apart piece by piece. My dream had always been to be loved, truly loved, no matter my flaws.
The book knew that, preyed upon it. Turned my desire into something wretched. Nothing had been real between us. He was probably not even real.
I finally choked on a sob.
The truth of that cracked my chest open wide, my heart tearing in two. I was alone and terrified and had no idea how to escape this nightmare.
All the other tests, the other Trials, all my darkest fears, were now swirling together in one final attempt to break me. Or maybe they were seeing if I’d truly overcome them.
Beware of waking the gods, beware of waking the gods.
The faceless, incorporeal deity at the end of the aisle didn’t move, but I sensed she was watching me, waiting. She wanted me to go to her, to accept my fate. Her spirit felt so… familiar.
All the while, her invisible Temple Knights’ cries echoed around the chamber walls, bouncing back at me with a fervor reserved for zealots.
Beware of waking the gods, beware of waking the gods.
“Their dreams are often our nightmares.”
Sloth’s voice was still laced with the low timbre of the Liber Noctem as he spoke near my ear.
“I don’t understand. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It’s time.” He leaned in again. “Wake from your slumber. Unite.”
Beware of waking the gods, beware of waking the gods.
The voices suddenly stopped, the echoes cutting off as if they’d been magically sealed away again.
I exhaled, relieved that was over.
Sloth’s mouth curved.
“Your true essence must rise. Unite. Carpe Noctem.”
Magical chains whipped out and locked me in place.
I opened my mouth to scream and was swept away by a flood of thoughts and memories. They were unfamiliar and crashed through my mind one after another, with growing clarity.
Now I did hear screams bouncing off the walls.
I thought they might be mine.
More images crashed into me.
More memories that were mine and not.
Every scene I’d glimpsed during the Trials came back. Only this time I had clarity. I’d been the one watching the mortal drown. I’d been the architect of all the horror and fear I’d inflicted on others.
It wasn’t Nyantha. Or it was… but we were not separate beings. She and I were the same.
I had no idea how. But I knew these Trials… they’d been testing me.
I wasn’t Nyantha’s champion, I was the goddess stripped of immortality, my soul split into two. One half of my essence had been birthed to humans while the other half remained locked in this realm. The gods had devised this ultimate test well.
I was given a chance to truly feel the way I’d made others feel, to live life as a mortal. To understand how fragile life was. How precious. Once I understood, once I passed, only then would both parts of myself reunite. And only then would I be restored.
There was too much pressure in my head, too much power for my mortal body to contain. It felt like I was being crushed from the weight of it.
The chanting started up again, quietly this time. Reverent.
Beware of waking the gods, beware of waking the gods.
This had been my punishment, my penance.
The death of what I was, and an opportunity to rise anew, like the phoenix.
To become what I’d been before things twisted.
Before I’d created a nightmare monster out of boredom that had killed the phoenix’s mate.
I’d begun my existence as the goddess who ruled over the night and loved dreams. Power corrupted.
I’d lost myself, the part of myself that was very close to the human I’d been born.
Either these Trials were meant to be my redemption or they’d become the last nail in my coffin. It all came down to choice. Would I learn the true power of love and dreams, or would I be forever lost to the empty hunger for power, chaos, and fear?
Somehow, I was halfway down the aisle now, striding toward the throne. I closed my eyes. When I blinked them open, I was even closer, that haunting faceless figure now mere feet away.
My body went taut. I didn’t want to close the distance.
I wasn’t sure if I embraced both sides of myself, if I would get swept away in all I’d run from.
Sloth’s unhurried footsteps sounded behind me, the rhythm stirring my fears to new heights.
The male I’d started to fall for, the one I’d thought was my ally, was ushering me to my doom. I knew it wasn’t really him, he was as trapped in this nightmare as I was, but it still felt like betrayal.
It was one more act of cruelty I could thank the dark book for.
I was now at the steps of the dais, the ghostly figure looming above me in her beautiful gown.
I dug my heels in, resisting whatever force kept drawing me to that throne.
I knew, without a doubt, I could not step near it or the goddess, or the world as I knew it would burn. I would cease to be. And I had no idea who I’d become—the nightmare or the dreamer.
Beware of waking the gods, beware of waking the gods.
The faceless goddess lifted an arm, holding it out to me as if she wanted to offer me a blessing that would only be a curse. I suddenly remembered the old gods sending a missive with their plan: I could choose to be born human, or I could remain in this realm with my monsters.
I’d chosen to give this up. I’d never wanted to be so cold, so unfeeling again.
“LORE!”
Torment. That’s what hearing his voice inside my head was and knowing he wasn’t truly there. I steeled myself as my boots landed on the first stair.
This was inevitable. This was my final test. The one Trial that would determine it all.
Magic pulsed around me, binding me to the will of the gods.
If I could not survive what came next, I would not be the phoenix. I would simply burn.
This time, when the faceless goddess reached for me, a chill rippled through me at her touch.
Then a crack rent the air.
Or maybe that was the invisible wall I’d sensed inside myself finally shattering. Whatever had kept us separate was gone. The time to reconnect my soul fragments was here.
Beware of waking the gods, beware of waking the gods.
I swore I felt the whoosh of fabric as a crowd knelt behind me.
My attention was locked on the faceless goddess. One moment she was standing before me and the next, she stepped into me.
And we were whole at last. My immortal essence taking its place in its new vessel.
My mind splintered. The power was too overwhelming. There was an endless darkness, followed by a blinding light. Everything I was vanished.
I dropped to the ground, heaving as power crackled under my skin.
My fingers splayed across layers of smooth silk.
All my senses were crystalline now. I felt stronger, faster, more of everything.
This was what it felt like to be a goddess reunited with her full power, to be immortal.
I scrambled back, staring down at my body. A body that felt so different yet still looked the same except for my clothing. I was no longer in the tunic I’d been wearing. I was dressed in the Goddess of Night’s gown. My gown.
I tried to settle my thoughts, but they were too jumbled.
Memories that weren’t mine but still cycled through my head.
I was getting dizzy from the amount of information filtering through me.
Sloth’s black gaze found mine. But he wasn’t really the prince.
He was the book. Or the essence of it given physical form.
And I… I wanted my power back.
He kept those dark eyes locked on me as he slowly took a knee.
“Welcome back, Nyantha.” His mouth hitched into a mockery of a grin. “You’ve been trapped in dreams too long. Your court missed you.”