Chapter 33 Rhea #2
Eve nods and crosses her arms over her chest. “Which kingdom do you think it belongs to?” she asks, nodding out to a ship that is bobbing over the choppy waters.
My mouth quirks as I stare at it, the vessel much too far away to make out any sort of kingdom insignia. “Mortal Kingdom would be boring,” I tease, my grin growing when she laughs.
“Shifter, then?”
“Could be. Back home, there was a lot of talk about the Shifter Kingdom.” I don’t know why, exactly, I say that, and the silence that descends is proof of Eve’s own shock that I’ve spoken about any part of my life before.
In my pursuit of making sure I don’t say anything that might be used against me, I often only speak about surface level things.
My dance lessons or the latest book I read.
This is a deviation—a shift in conversation driven by the fact that I miss my friends.
I miss having people to talk with that I can trust. I miss my life.
“Is the Mage Kingdom your home?” she asks, so quietly at first that I wonder if she meant to voice it all. But I hear the unspoken question, the same one Xander gave me with his eyes when we spoke of his secret movement. You are heir to this kingdom’s throne; is this place not your home as well?
“Are you aware of who I am?”
She takes her time answering, reading between the lines of what I’ve asked.
“That you lived in the tower until you escaped a few months ago? Or that you are the king’s niece?
” At the mention of my relationship to my uncle, shame forces my cheeks to heat and my gaze to drop to the window sill.
Eve shifts her stance subtly and unfolds her arms as she clasps her hands together in front of her, rubbing her thumb over the opposite hand’s palm.
“I only know because of Xander. The other servants and guards here know as well, but they all have been sworn to secrecy with blood oaths—some a second or third time.”
I release a rueful laugh, tucking windblown strands of hair behind my ear. “This is not something I ever wanted.” For them. For me.
“I imagine it isn’t.”
“For a long time, I don’t think I truly understood what a home was.
” Emotions knot thickly in my throat, my fingers drumming along the sill nervously.
“I knew the logistics of it, of course, from what I had read in books. I could paint an imaginary picture in my mind of how it might look, what it might feel like. But it wasn’t until I left that tower that I actually experienced what it meant to have a home.
To have a constant and safe place to land every night.
My imagination didn’t do it justice because having a true home is one of the most beautiful things about being alive.
” And, gods, I miss my home so very terribly.
“And you found somewhere to land in the Mage Kingdom?”
“Not somewhere. I found it with someone.” I glance at Eve from the corner of my eye.
She studies me carefully, her lips pressed into a relaxed line, but something edgier takes root in her gaze. “You sound very homesick,” she finally says.
I turn back to look at the ship, the sun having moved past the horizon. “You have no idea.”
Eventually, Eve reminds me of our schedule for the day, and we leave the room to see Lady Mia.
Though the brand is covered in gauze, each step tugs at it, and I’m nervous to see what it will feel like after dance lessons.
Eager to get my mind off of both the brand and the fact that I let Eve see a vulnerable part of me, I ask, “How do you know Xander?”
“We met when I first started working at the castle,” she says, lacing her hands together in front of her white apron. “He helped me acclimate to my new surroundings.”
“Really?” I don’t hide the surprise in my tone, and it draws a light chuckle from Eve.
“I know he is a little rough around the edges, but outside of his role to the king, Xander cares for others. At least more than anyone else in his station does.”
I hear her surety, that she believes what she says, but does she know all that his role entails?
Would she still have that appreciative look in her eyes if I told her everything he bore witness to?
How his hands were also stained with Alexi’s blood?
She may have identified me as this kingdom’s true heir, but she had no idea what my life beneath the king’s rule had entailed.
No idea just how sadistic said king could be.
Though a part of me wants to disprove everything she claimed about Xander as true, a different voice stops me.
The best piece of advice I can give you, Little One, is to remember that, oftentimes, when we think we have seen everything at face value, there are still pieces lingering in the dark.
I can’t treat Xander as if the past never happened, but I also can’t discount the fact that, like me, he is trapped. His cage may be bigger and less intimate, but does any of that matter to the person locked inside it?
I sigh as we round the final corner that leads to Lady Mia’s and then suck it back in, my steps faltering when I see Xander himself waiting by the door.