Chapter Fifty-Five Bahira
I’m hesitant to believe that the council has forgotten about calling me in for another round of interrogation, but I suppose if anything could pull their attention, Nox’s return would do it.
I should be elated, celebrating the fact that, at least for now, they seem entirely content to believe my account of what happened in the Shifter Kingdom.
Yet something about their newfound lack of interest in me doesn’t feel like relief.
In the days since I visited the archives, there’s been no hint that any of the council members are aware that Hadrik let me in.
I returned the key to him the next day, relaying the events of what I had found and what the archives had…
given me. To my annoyance, Hadrik didn’t seem all that shocked.
“I told you there was old magic there,” he had said with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Yeah, well, you could have informed me about the fucking dragon,” I had bitten back.
“And spoil the surprise? What kind of self-proclaimed favorite uncle would I be if I did that?” The mischief in his eyes kept me from retorting, but he promised to return the key at the first opportunity and to keep my visit a secret from my parents.
The less unscrupulous acts that they knew about, the less the council could berate them for.
I’d officially turn down my royal status if it came to that before I’d allow my father to have his crown stripped over something I had chosen to do.
Nox on the other hand…
I clench my jaw as I enter the healers’ wing.
Word had come from Sarai this morning that Nox was ready for visitors.
Knowing my parents would be there first, I opted to read from the ancient book, finding more mentions of the term blood mingling but as of yet no explanation of what that actually was.
Sarai had also revealed what those working within the palace thought about the rumors surrounding Nox.
“They are afraid,” she had said quietly, her hand holding mine as a concerned line formed between her brows.
“They don’t know all the details, but what has been allowed to spread doesn’t shed a favorable light on His Highness.
” Sarai had been gentle with her news, but it didn’t soften the blow I felt knowing that there were those in the palace that feared him now. Perhaps even feared our family.
The line of guards that comes into view ahead is only six deep, but their presence at Nox’s door feels wrong. As I near, one of the guards breaks formation, stepping in front of them and turning towards me. “Princess Bahira, you—”
“I’ve been told my brother is awake, and I’m—” My statement is cut short when I brush past the guard and abruptly stop in front of the door, surprised to find it already open and Nox up and walking. And also not alone.
“I don’t think it is asking too much to just consider—”
“It’s out of the question,” Nox says, something off about his tone. It’s his voice, but it isn’t. “I’ll tell you the same thing that I told the council. I will not marry anyone but Rhea.”
“Even if they strip your family of the throne?” Haylee barks back, her cheeks turning pink. “Because I’m telling you, they will. You are smarter than this, Nox.”
“Don’t.” The single word is fired like a weapon, one that makes Haylee straighten where she stands at the foot of his bed.
Unlike the first room Nox occupied during the events after the ball, this one is larger and contains a small kitchen in one corner as well as space for a loveseat and a four-person table.
Nox braces his hands on the white stone counters, his head drooped between his shoulders.
Haylee lets out a soft sigh, oblivious to me standing here as she makes her way over to him.
She reaches out her hand to rest on his back, letting it hover over his right shoulder before dropping it to the middle of his back instead.
Nox tenses, his head snapping towards her, and the look in his eyes…
My breath catches in my throat. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen my brother look so fucking feral.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, leaning in closer to him.
“I just want to keep you and your family safe. I don’t want anyone else hurt by this—this disconnect that is happening between the council and the king.
” She tilts her head, holding his gaze. “We’ve known each other for a long time, Nox, and I would never ask you to give me something that isn’t yours to give.
All I’m asking for is the illusion of it. ”
“And all I’m telling you is that it will never happen.”
I clear my throat to announce my presence, Haylee taking a large step back when she spots me before smiling. “Bahira! Look who is finally well enough to move around.”
“I can see that,” I reply, entering the room as Nox stands, turning to lean back against the counter. “How are you?”
He shrugs, a loose wave falling over his forehead with the movement. “Can’t say I’ve been worse.”
A half-hearted smirk is all I can muster as I fold my arms over my chest, my eyes bouncing awkwardly between Nox and Haylee. She lingers for a moment, her body still leaning towards him as if caught in his gravitational pull, before the silence registers.
“I’ll let you two talk,” she says, smiling at Nox before walking towards me. “Perhaps we can meet later?”
I nod, and she brushes her hand against my arm before she exits, closing the door behind her. I let my smirk fall as I say, “I half expected to find Councilman Kallin hiding in here.”
“The bastard hasn’t left me alone for more than a few hours at a time since I—” His hand shoots to his temple.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” he murmurs, reaching into a nearby cabinet for a glass and filling it with water.
“Just a headache.” I watch him down the glass and set it on the counter, his gaze then jumping to mine.
His eyes look bloodshot and odd—the silver in them dulled to a darker hue.
I swallow back my worry as I look him over, taking in how he’s slightly hunched and sweat clings to his temples.
The paleness of his skin and the circles under his eyes.
“You look like shit.”
His responding laugh is quiet, a hand moving up to brush the strands of hair away from above his eyes. “It’s great to see you too, Bahira.”
It’s the gentleness of his voice that relaxes my shoulders, but even that small relief isn’t enough to stop the next words from tumbling out. “You left.” The accusation is thick despite how my voice cracks. “You knew what would come of it, and you left anyway.”
“I did, and if you’re looking for some sort of apology, you’ll be waiting forever for it. My only regret is that I did not return with Rhea.”
Anger sparks as I take a step towards him, Nox watching my movements with tired eyes. “Not even knowing that it would cause chaos? That our father might lose his crown, or that you might never get it? That we are being treated as criminals?”
He shrugs, infuriating me further. “It wasn’t our family’s crown to begin with. It belongs to someone else.”
“How can you be so short-sighted?” I ask, taking a step towards him. “Do you think that your actions will truly bring you closer to Rhea? That, even if you were somehow able to rescue her from King Dolian, the council would forget it all and just allow you to keep your crown without consequence?”
His jaw clenches as he looks away. “I’m saying, I don’t want the crown at all, Bahira. The title, the throne, whatever you want to call it. It was never meant to be mine.”
I inhale sharply, my head jerking back. “What the fuck are you even talking about? It has only ever been yours.”
“That was before,” he says, his hands bracing the counter on either side of him.
“Before what?”
“Before her.”
“Well, I guess fuck what that means for everyone else, right?” I snark, earning a glare from him.
But, brother or not, I’m not going to sit by while he makes an ass of himself.
And certainly not when our family’s power is on the line.
Whatever is left of it. “It’s not that I don’t sympathize with you, Nox, about wanting to get her back.
I do. It’s that you went behind our back to do it. ”
Several moments of silence pass before Nox walks to the table and pulls out a chair, sinking into it as if standing has been too exhausting.
“I know,” he whispers, cradling his head, his elbows resting on the tabletop.
“I didn’t keep it secret because I didn’t trust you with the information. I did it because—”
“You thought—accurately, I might add—that we would try to stop you.”
He nods, leaning back against the chair and tilting his head to look up at the ceiling. “I am desperate, and I’m afraid of what that desperation will turn me into.”
Nox is so good about hiding his true emotions.
He’d have to be to survive undercover for as long as he did.
But, looking at my brother now, I see everything he’s struggling with laid bare on his face.
His own anger and sadness and guilt. His terror.
It propels me to the table too, taking a seat and placing a hand over his.
“You don’t know, Bahira, the horrors she’s gone through.
You don’t know all that might happen now that she’s back in his grasp.
” His throat works with a rough swallow.
“She is strong—she always has been. So much stronger than she’d ever give herself credit for.
But I failed her. I let her get stolen from right out of my home.
I trusted—blindly trusted—that she would be safe here, and that is a mistake that I won’t ever make again.
” His eyes find mine as he lifts his head.
“Even if it means hurting you—hurting our family—to ensure it.”
“Is that what Rhea would want?” I ask. At the look he gives me, I lift a shoulder and add, “I genuinely don’t know, Nox. Is it?”