Chapter 17 - Andie
Chapter Seventeen - Andie
The next morning my head feels like a blender going off at maximum speed, every step causing it to pound.
Coming out of my room as if I’m doing the walk of shame, I see Dylan passed out on the couch, still in his clothes from last night, and Maddie eating breakfast. Looks like he didn’t make it to her room.
“Good morning, Andie,” she chimes.
My eyes wince at her voice. “Ugh, god the noise. Good morning. What’s Dylan doing here?”
“Yeah, he was really hammered last night so he’s sleepin’ it off. Speaking of last night, Mr. Spencer huh. That’s one hell of a man there. Tell me the story.” The smirk on her face tells it all, this line of questioning is going to push me to a new level of discomfort.
“Oh um, he saved me from some ass grabber and then I ended up here. There’s your story.” I pour a cup of coffee and choke down some aspirin, hoping my headache will disappear.
“Hmm okay well. I think there’s more, but I’ll wait till you’re more awake. Anyways, I am going to take Dylan out for the day, do you wanna come with?” she asks.
“No, I’m good, I think I’ll just do some sightseeing once I get this headache to go away.”
“Okay, I will see you for dinner tonight then.” I nod in agreement before taking a sip of my coffee. “Oh, and Andie? Did you ever call Spencer?”
Did I ever.
“Yep, sure did.”
“Good, I think he likes you. Might be a good chance to get back out there,” Maddie says.
I shrug, not ready to even consider that right this minute and focus on what lies ahead for me right now. Because today is my day for true sightseeing, at least, I hope.
A few hours later, I’m standing at the base of the Willis Tower as I’m second-guessing my brilliant sightseeing plan.
What would be better than getting a full view of the city all at once?
This originally seemed like the perfect first stop.
Because what could possibly go wrong with someone who’s terrified of heights going to the top of a building that oversees an entire city and surrounding states? Brilliant planning, Andie.
It sounds breathtaking. What I conveniently forgot to factor in? My complete inability to handle being more than ten feet off the ground. For some reason, I thought being inside a building would make it okay, but I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong. Stepping on the elevator, I didn’t think twice.
Cody would beg me to try the fireman’s pole at the fire station, but every time I saw the bottom of it, I would freeze and begin to panic.
The pole was only on the second level, so clearly my bravery wouldn’t be better at the top of a building.
Not sure why I thought otherwise—oh wait, yes I do. Temporary insanity.
It’s not until the elevator ascends to the 103rd floor of the tower where the doors slide open, my fear becomes apparent.
Quickly realizing that my phobia of heights surpasses any desire I have to see the view of the city.
I’m vaguely aware of the annoyed grumbles behind me as other sightseers attempt to exit.
My feet are planted until the shoulder of an impatient man bumps me. I snap out of my trance, taking a step over the threshold, triggering that wonderful chest pain sensation. The first sign of my impending panic attack. Fantastic. Just what I needed today.
Each breath turns into work—real, conscious effort—as I clasp my hands together and squeeze until my knuckles go white, desperately hoping for something, anything, to pull me back. Wishing I could simply summon the bravery to move an inch, gasping for air as if I just finished running miles.
Fuck, another panic attack and every single technique Cody taught me? Gone. Which is completely useless when I actually need them.
My hand automatically reaches for the familiar weight of my ring around my neck—another comfort that’s not available. Because I left it safely tucked away at the hotel after last night. Even better.
Come on Andie, move your feet, you can do it. Nope, okay then, we will just stand right here.
A few feet forward and I could see the view I came for, or a few feet backwards and I could get on the elevator to go down towards my salvation on the ground floor. Unable to force myself to move forward, I decide to move in the next logical direction—backwards.
Turning to head back to the elevator, I hear my name from a distance. The voice stops me dead in my tracks—familiar, but impossible to place. A mental roster of everyone I know runs through my head, coming up empty. Until last night’s phone call came to mind. It sounds just like Spencer’s voice.
Shit, Chicago is way too big to just run into him, right?
“Andie.” Okay, maybe it’s not. Eyes clenched tight, my body turns around against my better judgment. I slowly peek each eye open, hoping it’s anyone but Spencer right now.
Instead, my prayers go unanswered as my gaze lands on the one person I was hoping to avoid—Spencer. Because of course. The universe has a sick sense of humor.
There he stands in all his glory, laser-focused on me, completely ignoring the individual he was speaking with before spotting me. I swear the man is undressing me with his gaze. There’s that damn smile forming on his face causing my brain to short-circuit completely.
My original thoughts of escaping before things get weirder. Forgotten. That sinking feeling I have with heights disappears with the sight of him. Instead, it’s replaced with a longing for his arms to wrap me in a hug.
My memories might be fuzzy around the edges from last night, but not that—not the way he felt wrapped around me. That perfect embrace lives crystal clear in my mind, like my drunk brain decided that was the one thing worth remembering perfectly.
He’s already seen me, so saying “Hi” would be the polite thing to do. However, the debate over proper etiquette is real. Do I walk up to him or let him come to me? Handshake? Hug? Kiss on the cheek?
Great, Andie. Wing it with the guy who’s already seen you drunk and passed out.
Even when I started dating Cody, uncertainty never plagued me like this.
I was never worried about scaring him away or saying something stupid like I am with Spencer.
This feels different—this guy has my stomach doing backflips whenever he’s around.
At the same time, maybe we shouldn’t even be near each other.
This attraction burns intense, and not the one night and done kind. This pull threatens to drag me so deep that rejection—or god forbid, losing him too, would shatter what’s left of my heart. Which is not a risk I’m willing to take.
Months of crawling out of despair and depression taught me that hole isn’t somewhere I want to visit frequently. So regardless of these feelings, this can’t happen between us. Getting hurt again isn’t an option.
As I continue to debate, he takes his eyes off me long enough to close out his conversation, shaking hands with another gentleman and excusing himself. It’s too late for me to leave now because he’s walking my way. As he moves over to me, my eyes are locked onto him.
“Andie,” his voice softens when he says my name. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Is your head feeling better?”
I didn’t expect to see him either, but his warmth and charm secretly leave me thankful for the chance to see him again despite my earlier embarrassment.
“Much better, thanks. The aspirin finally kicked in and I can remain upright without swaying, so I call it a win.” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, suddenly self-conscious about the way I look.
“And . . . what do you think of the view from up here?” he asks, looking toward the observation windows.
“Honestly, I haven’t made it over there yet.
I’m not sure I can.” There’s a hint of wonder and puzzlement in those alluring eyes of his.
“I’m kind of afraid of heights. I thought being inside a building would make it okay, but apparently my phobia didn’t get that memo.
” The world stopped for a moment as he took my hand in his.
“May I?” Gesturing towards the viewing area. “Trust me—you don’t want to miss it.”
“I take it you haven’t been here before?” he asks and I shake my head, focusing on my hand in his, as he slowly leads me to the observation windows.
“No, I’m not from here.”
“Well then you’re in for a treat.”
My hesitation is slight, as I pull back just enough that he can sense my discomfort as we approach the glass.
“Andie, you’re safe, there’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ll be here with you the entire time.” The strangest sensation that he’s right, that I am safe settles in me.
Everything is telling me to trust him. That if I’m with him I don’t have to worry.
He continues to lead me to the viewing area with my hand in his.
The fluttering in my gut has me questioning if it’s from the height where I’m able to look down toward certain death if the glass ever gave out. Or is it from simply being around him?
“The view is absolutely breathtaking,” he says.
I think he’s talking about the sprawling city below, but when I glance over at him, he isn’t even looking at the city. He’s looking directly at me and there’s something in his eyes that makes my breath catch. The way he said breathtaking creates a sense of euphoria within me.
Mental note to self, I don’t think he’s talking about Chicago anymore.
The sound of his voice is soothing, and calming to me, the scent of a crisp sandalwood invades my nostrils. I know with him I’m safe and nothing will happen to me, but I still find myself gripping his hand. Not wanting to let go of the one sense of safety I’ve had since getting here.
We spend what feels like a lifetime looking out at the horizon and talking about all the different sights that we see.
Each ticking moment with his hand in mine allows me to forget my worries and simply enjoy my time.
His voice has this magical ability to place me in a mesmerizing trance—one I never want to leave.
“Are you hungry?”
I break my eyes from the horizon and look over at him. “What?”
“Are you hungry?” he repeats.
“I’m starving.”
Still trying to figure out what Spencer does to me that leaves me wanting more, I answer immediately.
It could be the comfort I feel around him, or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been on a sexual hiatus since Cody’s death, and Spencer is the first man to catch my attention.
Apparently, my lady parts have opinions about Spencer. Traitors.
The mention of food has my stomach growling.
My aspirin and coffee didn’t have much effect on holding me over for the day.
I’ve come to terms that I could give myself one day of enjoyment.
And Spencer is that enjoyment. While it will go no further, surely some food and conversation for the remainder of the day will be okay.
His hand securely locked in mine, we walk back to the elevators. The ride down is filled with charged silence, both of us stealing glances when we think the other isn’t looking. The confined space makes every breath and squeeze of our hands feel electric. And right this minute, all I want is more.