13. Bishop
bishop
. . .
The drive to the hospital was long and silent. Lennox and Cleo sat in my back seat, holding onto one another, as I followed Lincoln, Josie, and Ruby up ahead. Given the severity of Doug’s condition, he’d been immediately airlifted to a facility in Dallas that could treat him properly.
I kept the radio low, total quiet made me uncomfortable, especially when I could hear the girls’ soft sniffles and couldn’t do a damn thing about it. My gaze darted to my rear-view mirror too often, keeping an eye on them like it could make a damn bit of difference.
I’d never felt so helpless in my life.
Hearing the heartbreak in Lennox’s scream had nearly broken me. I’d held her to me as long as I could, squeezing her tightly as if I could stop her from shattering further. It was only when the paramedics began loading Doug onto the stretcher that I knew I had to jump into motion.
When we pulled up to the hospital, both girls jumped out and ran through the doors as Josie ushered a distraught Ruby in after them. Her eyes were re-rimmed and swollen. Unfocused.
Lincoln and I followed, but neither of us said anything. He looked stricken, his face pale and arms still shaking. By the time the ambulance had made it out to the ranch, he’d given Doug CPR for over thirty minutes.
The paramedic said it was the only reason Doug was still alive.
We quickly made our way inside and found the elevator. We rode in silence up to the ICU. The moment the doors opened, the girls headed straight to the nurse’s station.
“Hi, we’re here to see Douglas Hayes? He was airlifted.” Cleo asked the woman sitting behind the counter. “We just drove up from Ashwood.”
“Let me check,” she said, typing his name into their system. It was silent for a long moment as we all waited on bated breath. “Unfortunately, he’s still in surgery, and visiting hours are over.”
“Please?” Josie asked, voice breaking.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. To her credit, she sounded genuine. “Even if things were different, I can’t let six of you in?—”
“We can wait out here,” I said, gesturing toward Lincoln and me. His eyes darted to Josie, and I could tell he didn’t want to let her out of his sight, but that was too damn bad. “If that helps.”
The nurse pursed her lips. “I can’t let you in until he’s back from surgery,” she said carefully. The girls’ shoulders dropped. “But I can bring you back two at a time once he’s settled. How about you all get some coffee downstairs in the cafeteria? It will likely be a long night.”
“Thank you,” Cleo breathed. “Can I leave my number with you?”
While they exchanged contact information, I looked toward Lennox. She stood off to the side, chewing nervously on her thumbnail. All the light I was used to seeing in her eyes was gone, replaced by an unfocused and glassy look as people moved around her .
I wanted to go to her, to let her know it would be okay, but I couldn’t tell her that. I didn’t know what the future looked like or if he’d come out of surgery at all. There was no fucking crystal ball, either.
“You alright, man?” Lincoln asked, nudging my shoulder.
“Yeah,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “Good as we can be, ya know?”
Lincoln nodded. “I get it.”
Cleo turned and began ushering everyone toward the elevator. Lennox was the last to move. Lincoln and I fell into step behind everyone as she wrapped her arm around her mom, holding her tightly when the doors closed.
I shifted in the shitty waiting room chair, pulling my hat down over my eyes to block the disgustingly bright light overhead.
It was around five in the morning. Lincoln and I had been out here for a couple of hours while the girls took turns sitting in Doug’s room once he’d gotten out of surgery and settled in.
Ruby hadn’t left his side since the nurse called them back.
Not that I blamed her one bit. It was the only thing that’d seemed to knock her out of the state of shock she’d been in since leaving the ranch.
Thankfully, everything had gone smoothly with no complications—doc’s words, not mine—and Doug would make a full recovery.
There’d been a blood clot blocking one of his arteries, and they’d been able to go in and remove it without much fuss.
Though, they did say they wanted to keep him in the hospital for at least a few days.
When I’d gotten the word, I’d sent a message to our work chat, updating them on Doug’s condition and letting them know we’d all be out today.
They all gave their best wishes and told me they’d take care of the ranch in our absence.
I wasn’t worried about them. We’d built a damn good crew, and I trusted them to get their shit done.
No, I was worried about Lennox. I was torn between staying and trying to be there for her, I was probably the last person in the world she’d want hanging around. I should head home so the family could be together and focus on Doug.
Just a few more hours of sleep , I told myself, and then you can go home.
I was sure Lincoln would stay, which was fine.
He was family now. The team and I could handle just about everything we needed to on our own.
The only concern I had was the branding coming up.
Our spring calving season yielded one of the largest herd additions we’d seen in a few years.
We would need all hands on deck to get everything done on time.
Hell, I might need to hire a couple more hands depending on how things went here, but that was a problem for future Bishop to figure out.
I heard the shuffling of feet before someone plopped down beside me. I was about to peek out from under the brim of my hat, already annoyed I was awake, but then I smelled her.
The soft scent of honey and vanilla filled the air, invading my senses. I’d recognize it anywhere. It was fucking imprinted in my memory. Sometimes, I swore I could still smell it on my pillow at night, like it was haunting me.
Today, though, I savored it.
My muscles relaxed as I settled back into my spot. Neither of us spoke as Lennox shifted, causing our knees to brush. I expected her to jerk away, but she didn’t. If anything, she leaned into me.
I don’t know how long we stayed like that, quietly searching for comfort in a place that offered none. I was almost asleep when she whispered, “I want to go home.”
I tilted my hat up to get a good look at her.
Her blonde hair, loosely curled earlier, was now piled on top of her head in a crudely secured bun.
She wasn’t wearing any makeup, though there were still dark smudges near her eyes, like she hadn’t been able to get it all off.
I’d never seen her look so tired, so distraught.
There was no fight left in her. She was just sitting there, vulnerable.
Exposed. Raw in every sense of the word.
Seeing her that way made my chest ache. I wanted to take her in my arms and make it better. Not that I even knew how or what to do—I’d never been the type people turned to for that kinda stuff, but she made me wish I was.
“You wanna leave?” I asked, my voice rough from exhaustion.
Lennox nodded her head, keeping her focus straight ahead.
“I can’t…” she began, but her voice broke.
“It sounds horrible, but I can’t see him like this.
I’ve been staring at the man in bed for hours, but he doesn’t look like my dad.
That guy looks frail and sick, and all it does is remind me how quickly he can be taken away from me.
I mean, he was laughing and joking less than twelve hours ago, and now we’re here?—”
Tears began rolling down her face, and I let instinct take over. I sat up straighter and pulled her close. Or I tried to. One of those stupid armrests was between us, but thankfully, I could lift it out of the way. She leaned into me, letting me take on the full weight of her body.
“What’re you doing?” she asked, looking up with red-rimmed eyes.
“I dunno,” I said honestly. “You were crying. Felt like I should do something.”
Her laugh was hollow, but I took it as a good sign. “Is this a pity hug?”
“Do you want it to be?” The last thing I felt toward her was pity, especially now, but this was new territory for us. There’d never been a moment I could think of when she and I had ever hugged .
Lennox was quiet for a moment. “It probably should be, right?”
“Probably,” I agreed.
“I don’t really want it to be?—”
“Then it isn’t,” I said. “This is whatever you need it to be.”
Lennox settled into my arms, laying her head on my chest. Her fingers fiddled with the button along my shirt collar, and it felt natural.
It was unbelievably terrifying. I was sure she could make out the frantic beating of my heart as I ran my hand up and down her back. “You just let me know when you wanna go.”
She nodded. I could feel her hesitation before she spoke. “Can we stay like this a little longer?”
“As long as you need.”