22. Bishop
bishop
. . .
I had sex with Lennox Hayes, and now she was asleep in my arms, drooling on my chest.
We’d stayed curled up on this tiny velvet couch, talking and touching and kissing until we’d apparently fallen asleep at some point during the night.
It sure as hell wasn’t comfortable, either.
Every muscle in my body ached as I woke to soft-spoken voices instead of the blaring alarm sound I’d used since I was a kid.
Call me old-fashioned, but I still used an alarm clock. I only used my phone as a backup in case we lost power. It wasn’t until I blinked away the sleep that I realized where I was or what I heard.
“…seen Bishop this morning?”
“No, but he could’ve ridden out early. He was bitchin’ about the fences down by the gate last night. Said they needed fixin’ ASAP.”
“Naw, Titan’s still here. Think he’s sick?”
There was a pause, and then both men laughed. “He’s worked through the flu before.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Lennox and I had fallen asleep on the couch .
In the old hayloft.
And now the barn below was crawling with employees and likely, her family.
Goddammit, Bishop. This is exactly why this was a horrible idea. Now the entire ranch is gonna know you fucked the boss’s daughter.
Panic took hold as voices filtered through the space—mundane conversations about what they had for breakfast or their weekend plans.
Given the amount of people filtering in, I guessed it was around seven in the morning.
How were we supposed to get out of here without raising suspicion?
It was one thing for her to waltz down the steps and go about her day, but not for me.
I looked down at the woman lying on my chest. She was so beautiful, even with a thin line of drool spilling from her lips. A large window near the stairs filled the space with sunlight.
Everything looked different in the light of day.
The loft was cozy enough that the small amount of clothes and random pillows around the floor made the space look cluttered.
I’d seen Lennox’s room once in my life and knew this was standard operating procedure.
She thrived in chaos, in an organized disorder.
Sometimes I’d ask her where something was just to be a smartass, and she would mouth off the exact location with her arms crossed and an “I fucking told you so” look on her face.
The shelves were filled with trophies and ribbons from her early riding days. There were random knick-knacks in the mix—some I recognized and some I didn’t. Only Lennox would have a goddamn disco ball as a shelf ornament.
In the past, I’d never cared much about how women decorated their spaces the morning after a hookup. I was quick to thank them for a great time, get dressed, and go about my day, but this was different.
I wanted to wake Lennox up and ask her about every object that piqued my curiosity. I wanted to watch a smile spread across her face as she vividly recalled the memories—because that woman could tell a story like nobody’s business—and imagine myself by her side.
More than anything, I wanted to stay here and watch her sleep, but I knew I couldn’t. The barn had gone silent apart from the horses chuffing in their stalls. Morning feeding was long over. If I slipped out now, I could probably make it to my cabin before anyone else came looking for me.
Worst case scenario, I could tell whoever I ran into that I’d been up all night with food poisoning to buy myself a little sympathy.
No one ever questioned that shit.
Slowly, I disentangled myself from Lennox, grabbing one of her pillows and sliding it beneath her head.
She made a little whimpering noise that had me second-guessing, leaving her behind, but time wasn’t on our side.
It wasn’t like I didn’t know where to find her. We’d see each other later today anyway.
When I was dressed, I squatted down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “See you soon, sweetheart,” I whispered, stopping as I realized the term of endearment had slipped free so easily.
What in the hell had this woman done to me last night? Suddenly, I was a worn piece of string wrapped so firmly around her finger that I’d do almost anything she asked me to. Maybe I always had been.
For all the shit we gave one another, if Lennox had asked me for something, I would’ve given it to her. It didn’t matter the time or the place, or the circumstance.
I’d do anything for her.
As I tip-toed down the steps, though, that sense of elation came to a staggering halt as I looked through open barn doors and saw Doug walking out of the house. If you hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t know he’d had a heart attack recently.
Some color had returned to his skin, and he was as ornery as ever—always trying to sneak out to the barn for a ride.
Most of the time, one of the girls corralled him back before he made it out there.
Although, he’d managed to get his horse saddled last week and was ready to mount up before Josie came storming out of her office looking like a wet hen.
He lifted his hand in greeting as Ruby came out of the house behind him. She looked over, waving before she ushered him into the car. As they drove away, I couldn’t help but feel guilty.
Guilty for feeling like I was going behind Doug’s back and falling for his daughter, for not walking away when I knew better, and finally… Guilty for not knowing if I was about to break Lennox’s heart and lose her for good.
I sipped at my beer, staring at the paper on my table.
It’d been a long day, and now there was a thunderstorm raging outside.
It’d been going strong for the past few hours, which meant this weekend would be miserable rounding up cattle in the mud.
We would have to take extra precautions, extra time we didn’t budget for, but that was part of being a cowboy.
You adapted. You made shit work when Plan A went to shit.
After grabbing a quick shower at my cabin this morning, I’d thrown myself into work. The fence was mended, and I’d taken a ride out to check the stock tanks in the back pastures to make sure they were in good standing until we brought the herds in.
My mind was a goddamn mess right now. I couldn’t stop thinking about Lennox and how great our night had been.
For the first time, I felt this heavy weight lift off my chest. I could breathe again.
The crazy thing was that I didn’t even realize how hard it’d been before. It was a night and day difference.
The last night we’d spent together had ended in a goddamn disaster.
It felt like years, rather than mere months.
I still hated myself for the way I handled things, hated myself for the things I’d said.
It’d taken me damn near a month to look myself in the mirror again.
I couldn’t see myself without seeing the way I’d hurt her.
Even if she hadn’t said it, I knew. I could fucking feel it.
I’d hurt myself, too.
When I’d spent the night watching her sleep, I’d almost given in. I’d almost crawled into bed, pulled her into my arms, and said to hell with scaring her off. I wanted her. She wanted me. It should’ve been simple, but I’d gone and ruined that for both of us.
So, why was I such a chicken shit now that I had a real chance to turn things around? I felt like I was playing tug-o-war with myself. On one side were my responsibilities and loyalty to Doug, and on the other was my hope for the future and feelings for Lennox.
The two could easily exist together, but I had a mental block I couldn’t get past, so I decided to write a pros and cons list for my dilemma.
Was it stupid and childish? Maybe, but for some reason, I hoped seeing the reasons for both written down would solidify my decision, but it hadn’t—not yet, anyway.
I glanced at my phone screen, sinking back into my chair with a sigh as the screen came up blank.
No notifications.
Since I left Lennox this morning, I’d been checking it obsessively. Lennox hadn’t called or texted once. The heaviness I’d felt before was steadily creeping back in. Had I already fucked this up?
When I brought Titan back to the barn, Strider stood in his stall, staring at me over the wooden door. It almost felt like he was judging me, so I may have tossed him a few sugar cubes to get in his good graces again, but I didn’t think it worked.
He looked royally pissed off the entire time I brushed Titan out and gave him a late supper. I felt his judging gaze the entire time I locked up the barn. I swore he knew what was going on in my head and was silently telling me what a dumbass I was.
Believe me, buddy… I already know.
I tapped my pen against the table, groaning as I stared at the crinkled paper. I’d balled it up and tried throwing it away for the past hour, but had no such luck.
Pros:
- So goddamn pretty
- Smells nice
- Rides like a pro
- Can keep up with me (work shit)
- Keep me on my toes
- Good at sex
- Can’t stop thinking about her
Cons:
- Doug
- Migraine inducing
- Smart ass mouth
- Too damn young
- Will push all buttons
- Might lose job—see line one
- Can’t stop thinking about her
Seven and seven for each. A fucking draw.
“I thought these lists were supposed to make shit better, not worse,” I muttered to myself, taking a sip of beer. Even that seemed to taste funny. Clearly, I shouldn’t be doing any of this shit right now because I was a mess.
The sound of a diesel engine caught my attention, and I noticed a bright light coming down the caliche road leading toward my cabin. It was going too fast, too reckless given the weather, but they didn’t slow. They came to a screeching halt, headlights streaming through the window.
Whoever it was, better have a damn good explanation for pulling straight up and not using the carport. Given the season, my grass may have been dead right now, but that didn’t mean I didn’t care how it looked.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
I jerked my head toward the entrance when their fist thudded loudly against the wooden door.