Epilogue
O ne Year Later…
“Happy Birthday, Shy Shy,” we all sang in unison while she stood there being silly.
The smile on her face would always be engrained in my mind. I’d never seen my baby so joyful and full of life. It made it even more clear to me that my baby was always a little guarded before. I’m sure it was a result of the toxicity she was exposed to, and by the grace of God, those seeds of destruction were completely unraveled.
I smiled as Island bent over to begin slicing the birthday cake. Even though the sun had set long ago, she still looked radiant when she smiled. Her presence in our life was the gift that kept on giving. She’d planned Shy Shy’s entire fifth birthday party, and by my baby’s joy, I’d say she nailed it.
After all the kids scurried off with their slices of cake, my baby walked over to me with a plate. I sat in one of the lawn chairs having a brewski and chopping it up with Jayce. He’d been busy working overtime for the city recently, so we hadn’t seen much of each other. It was always good to spend time with my boy considering he was my only friend if you weren’t counting Island. She took a seat on my lap and began digging her fork in the cake.
“Dang, where’s my slice?” I teased her.
Tossing her head back, she said, “I was about to feed this one to you. I don’t want any.”
Jayce’s eyes ballooned as he chimed in on the conversation. “What? Island doesn’t want any cake. Check her forehead, Heim. She must be coming down with a fever or something.”
“Ha, ha!” Island mocked him then frowned.
She went to scoop some of the cake then stopped.
“Actually, just take this. I can’t do it.”
She handed me the cake and hopped out my lap so fast you’d think I was contagious or something.
Jayce eyed me suspiciously. “What’s her problem?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure, but she’s been a little irritable lately.”
“Humph. Must be almost that time of the month. I notice that’s when they get the crankiest.”
I nodded my head, thinking about his words. Now that he’d mentioned it, it was almost time for her cycle to begin. Island loathed that time of the month, and her mood swings could get scary sometimes. For now, I would keep my distance to give her some space to cool off. Even when she was cranky, she couldn’t stay away from me for long.
“Shyla looks so happy,” Jayce said while we watched the kids playing in the backyard. We were at their parents’ house enjoying the big, open field they had in the backyard. They were talking about having a pool built back here now that Shyla was in their lives. Things were going so well I think we all knew my relationship with Island would be for a lifetime.
I nodded. “I know. It’s because she is.”
“Has she seen her mother?”
I shook my head. “Nah, not in a while. Last I heard, she moved to Detroit with some nigga she met.”
I couldn’t even pretend to be bothered by the distance. It was best for all of us. Island was more of a mother to Shy Shy in a short amount of time than Kianni had been in her entire life.
“Good riddance. That bitch was going to make me catch a case.”
Jayce chuckled. “My sister too. Know she don’t play about y’all.”
I smiled because it was true. I think Kianna only tried Island once more before she realized she wasn’t the one to be fucked with.
“Y’all want some drinks?” Mama Chloe asked, walking up to us. She had a slight wobble that both Jayce and me noticed.
He groaned. “I don’t think you need anymore.”
She giggled innocently. “You might be right, and that’s why I asked if y’all want any.”
She nearly fell, causing Jayce to hop up.
“Lord, lady. Just go sit down. I can fix my own drink.” He looked around the yard. “Where is your damn husband? This is his responsibility.”
She waved him off. “He passed out an hour ago. My mojitos ain’t no ho.”
I chuckled as they walked off fussing per usual. I loved Island’s parents. They were real chill and laid back. They welcomed me and Shyla with open arms as their son-in-law and not just Jayce’s friend. We’d got drunk over here plenty nights fooling around with Mama Chloe and her drinks.
I glanced toward the house, realizing Island still hadn’t come back outside. The sliding door came open, and I thought it might be her, but it was my other baby.
“Smiley,” I called to get her attention.
She was already racing back toward her friends.
When she walked over, I asked, “Where you coming from?”
“The bathroom. Mama Island is sick, so I went in Grammy and Gramps room.”
It warmed my heart to know my daughter now had extended family that cared for her as deeply as I did.
“Okay. You having fun?”
She nodded happily.
“Give me a kiss and go on back to playing. I’m going to go check on Mama Island.”
Rushing toward me, she pecked my cheek then took off without a second glance.
It didn’t even bother me as I stood and headed inside to check on my big baby. I was going to head toward the bathroom when I heard cabinets slamming in the kitchen. Peeking around the corner, I saw it was Island. She was so distracted that she didn’t see me watching her. She was completely spaced out as she looked for something unsuccessfully.
“Ugh.” She grunted in frustration.
Walking quickly, I eased behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
“What’s wrong, Izzy?”
Her head fell backward on my chest. “I can’t find the to-go plates.”
I smiled. “That’s because your mama already took them outside.”
“Oh.” She sighed and kept quiet.
Spinning her around so she was facing me, I noticed how she was avoiding eye contact.
“Is that all that’s bothering you?” When she refused to respond, I spoke in a softer voice. “Talk to me, baby. I’m here.”
She sighed then crossed her arms over her chest.
“I just…”
Without another word, she marched over to her purse. I waited patiently while she dug around inside. She came back with a card with Shy Shy’s name written across the front. I picked it up and raised an eyebrow. She huffed and folded her arms over her chest.
“It’s tickets to Disney World for her birthday.”
I smiled because she loved spoiling my baby. Island’s business was still very lucrative, and no matter how many times I told her I could take care of us, she was adamant about contributing to our wealth. So, most of her income went into investments for us and spoiling our daughter, me, or herself. Shy Shy had so many gadgets we were running out of space to store it all. Hunting for a bigger house was on our list of tasks because we needed it.
“So, you’re upset that you brought her tickets to Disney World?”
She shook her head.
“No. I’m upset because I just splurged on a shopping cart. I’m going to be too fat to wear.” Her bottom lip poked out as she began to cry. “My inner child was looking forward to that trip.”
I was so confused, but I placed the card down then took Island’s hands in mine.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not understanding, baby. Fill in the blanks for me. You want to cancel the trip because of what now?”
Her shoulders tensed when she inhaled and held her breath. Eventually, she released it and a confession at the same time.
“I’m pregnant,” she murmured.
“Huh?” I asked to be sure I heard her correctly.
She walked over to the trash can and picked up a box on the top. Inside was a pregnancy test that she handed to me. I froze seeing the pregnant results on the cheap stick.
“Why’d you put it in the trash?”
“Because I thought it was broken.”
“And you came to the conclusion it’s not how?”
“My period tracker app reminded me that I’m late.”
I thought back to my conversation with Jayce. Her period should’ve been on, but she was late because she was pregnant with my baby. A huge grin broke out on my face. Rushing to Island, I picked her up and spun her around in glee.
“We’re having a baby!” I cheered to myself.
I placed Island on her feet then captured her lips in a passionate kiss. She gripped my shirt in her hands tightly, allowing me to have my way with her mouth.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I repeated. I was struggling to contain my excitement.
“What are we going to do about the trip? I don’t want to be waddling all over the place and in need of a nap every few hours like some toddler.”
Island was really worked up over this trip. I took a moment to study her and realized it was her nerves getting the best of her. We talked about this; she wanted us to have a baby. She should’ve been more excited. For a second, I wondered if the reality of being a mother was not as exciting as the thought of it.
I kissed her forehead softly. “Baby, we can reschedule the trip. When we go, we’ll just have another baby with us.”
She sighed heavily then laughed. “You better not let Shy Shy hear you calling her a baby.”
I smiled. “I know, right? But I’m saying it’s all good, baby. No need to get upset about postponing the trip until after you give birth.” I tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “Are you nervous?”
She had the most innocent look in her eyes when she batted her thick eyelashes and glanced up at me.
“I understand, but you’re going to be so great at it. It’s not different from the way you are with Shy Shy.”
“I didn’t think I could get pregnant,” she admitted, nibbling on her bottom lip. “You’ve been shooting up the club since day one. Why now?”
I wrapped my arms around her waist and took a minute to admire her. I trailed a finger over her freckles, wondering if our baby would have them too or hazel eyes like mine. Either way, I knew he or she would be perfect in every way.
“Why not now, baby? Babies are a gift from God.”
She picked at the back of my shirt still lost in her thoughts.
“We’re not married…”
“Shit, we can go to the courthouse first thing Monday morning.”
Island tossed her head back. “No, it’s just…”
“If you don’t want to have my baby, then just say that.”
I frowned then turned around like I was about to walk away. She reached for my hand, stopping me from going any further.
“Don’t act like that.”
“That’s how you’re acting.”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry, baby. Our lives are great, and that’s what scares me.” She finally admitted the root of her sour mood.
Spinning back to her, I cupped her chin.
“Don’t go backward, baby. You’ve done such a good job with keeping the faith and trusting in God. You really gonna let fear ruin this beautiful moment? We’ve wanted this. You want this,” I reminded her. “You’re one step closer to having everything. Don’t be afraid of your blessings. You deserve all the good things.”
I placed my forehead on hers. She grabbed my hands for comfort. Eventually, her body relaxed.
“I know, but what if—”
I silenced her with a kiss. When I released her, I laid down the law.
“ What if nothing. You’re not spiraling about this. You’re going to put on your big girl panties and get ready for that waddle because you were the one willing to spread your legs open like a bagel and let me lather my cream cheese all up and through that pussy. We having a baby. He or she is going to be healthy and cute as hell just like their mama then I’ma do the shit again so we can have two under two.”
Her cheeks flushed from my words, but it got the reaction I wanted—a laugh. Hearing the sound calmed my racing heart. She finally began to bounce on her toes.
“You ain’t have to say it like that, but you’re right.” A slow, wide grin spread across her face. “We’re having a baby. I don’t know about two under two though. Let’s get the first one here and acclimated first.”
“Baby steps… Besides, it won’t take you that long to get acclimated with my dick once you drop off baby number one. We both know you’re like a dope fiend when you’re off my dick. You be scratching and glitching for a fix.”
Island popped me on the arm, making me laugh.
“I’m just playing, baby. Thank you, though. You’ve made me the happiest man alive.”
She ruffled my curly hair. “You’ve made me the happiest woman alive. I thought dealing with death was my biggest challenge, but I’m realizing it will be giving birth.” She palmed my hand. “None of this would be possible if you didn’t fight for me.”
“When I said I’d go through the fire with you, I meant it, baby. I got y’all until I got nothing left to give, and even then, I wouldn’t be done ’cause I’d give my life.”
Her eyes watered before she sniffled. “What did I do to deserve you?”
“Fight one of this life’s hardest battles to have me. Now, you never have to fight another battle alone. I’ll be holding your hand through every step of this journey.”
She smiled widely. “Oh, I know you will be. Is it bad that I already have a list of names?”
I shook my head. “Not at all, but I’m not naming my baby no bullshit.”
“Are you going to be team boy or girl?”
“I wouldn’t mind having a son.”
Island wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my chest.
“I want to have a daughter so we can team up on you.”
I couldn’t help but smile listening to all the ways she was looking forward to a house full of girls. It would be a headache for me, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I’d still give them all of me. I honestly couldn’t care less about gender. I only wanted a healthy baby that I could raise with a woman who wouldn’t treat them like shit to serve herself. Knowing I didn’t have those doubts about Island had me excited to give this fatherhood shit another spin.
I’d learned some tips and tricks along the way. Things I was never able to learn from my father because I never knew him. My greatest accomplishment was knowing my children would never be able to say those words. I would be with them every step of the way holding hands, knocking niggas out, wiping away tears, celebrating, and so much more.
I continued talking with Island about the future before we headed back outside to the party. Surrounded by love was reward enough for fighting for this love. Island was irreplaceable. I would never have to learn that the hard way.
As I watched my baby girl dance around the yard while Island held my hand, I felt a stillness in my chest. We’d gone through the fire and got terribly burned. The smoke was thick and nearly suffocated us to death, but we found something in the midst of the blaze—the ability to use each other for oxygen. That neat trick would be what kept us breathing until our last days. With the ashes of our old lives, we created something new and beautiful, something indestructible because it didn’t come from this world. It came from God.
Until We Meet Again…