36. Katy
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
katy
BEN’S CREW
Getting ready for a football game with a baby is not for the faint of heart. Especially with one who’s not a big fan of sleeping very much.
I’m standing in front of the mirror with Mini-Ben strapped to my chest, completely obsessing over the fact that I’m wearing Ben’s jersey to one of his games. Another thing teenage Katy would’ve lost her mind about.
I also painted Ben’s number on my cheeks, and our son is wearing a tiny version of his jersey.
Which I absolutely cannot handle. It’s too cute. Ben also got him baby earmuffs to protect him from the stadium noise. They’re soft and they make him look like a tiny DJ. But he is… not a fan.
We might have to retreat to the box.
Ella is sprawled across the bed behind me, scrolling on her phone. “You look amazing,” she encourages. “And Mini-Ben looks adorable.”
“I’m only wearing leggings because I can’t fit in anything else,” I mumble.
“You look great in them. And give yourself some grace, you literally just had a giant baby.”
Caroline appears in the doorway with Grandma Patty, both of them already dressed like it’s the Super Bowl.
“Aww! He’s going to cry when he sees all of you,” Ella announces. “I give it five minutes.”
“He will not,” I say immediately.
Grandma Patty hums thoughtfully. “Men cry when they see their families. It’s healthy.”
“Four minutes,” Ella amends.
I laugh despite myself and look back at the mirror. For a second, I barely recognize the girl looking back at me. She’s tired and a little soft in some places. She’s still learning how to exist in this new version of her body, her life, her heart.
But she’s happy. Very, very happy.
And brave enough, apparently, to take a baby to a football game.
Which sounds a little crazy when I think too hard about it.
The stadium hits me all at once the second we walk inside. I’m suddenly hyperaware of the noise, the lights, and the amount of people here.
I instinctively curl around my baby, one hand resting protectively against his back while my brain tries to track everything at once.
“We can go up to the suite if it gets too loud,” Ella says gently.
I nod. “I know.”
Ben insisted we have one tonight. Between the baby and the fact that apparently starting quarterbacks get special treatment, the athletic department practically forced it on us.
But I wanted to try the family section in the stands first, so Ben could try to spot us from the field.
Mini-Ben squirms slightly but settles again, his tiny head tucked against me.
“Okay,” I whisper. “We’re doing great.”
Ella leans over. “Yes, you’re doing great. But remember, there’s no shame in going to the suite. The food’s better there, anyway.”
The stadium suddenly erupts. The team is running out, and the roar of the crowd rolls through the stands like thunder.
I don’t even have to search for Ben. I just feel him. That strange pull that’s been there since the beginning, like some invisible thread running straight across the field.
Ella nudges me and points. “There.”
I see him then.
With his helmet on, and his shoulders squared. He’s moving across the field with the easy power and confidence that still takes my breath away.
He looks completely in his element. Focused and in charge. Like this whole place belongs to him. For a moment I just watch him, my chest tight.
Then he looks up. It takes him a second to find us in the crowd. But when he does, everything about him changes. The hard game face softens, his shoulders relax, and his whole expression shifts into something warmer, something that only belongs to us.
I lift my hand in a small wave.
He lifts his back. Even from across the field I can see the grin tugging at his mouth. My heart squeezes in the best way.
Ella leans closer to the baby. “Your dad’s gone, kid. Totally gone.”
Mini-Ben sleeps through most of the first half. Occasionally the crowd roars loud enough to startle him, his little body jerking slightly before settling again against my chest. I bounce him gently until he relaxes.
“Honestly, same, Mini-Ben,” Ella says. “I also do not understand football and would prefer a nap.”
“How? Your cousin is literally the starting QB for your college team.”
“Exactly. I’ve been confused for years.”
At one point Ben takes a hit that makes half the stadium gasp. I tense automatically. It doesn’t help that Ella immediately starts crying. You’d think with so many athletes in her family she’d be used to this.
Mini-Ben snores softly against me.
Caroline pats my shoulder. “He’s fine.”
I nod. I know he is. But it still takes me a second to breathe again.
Somewhere between that play and Caroline bringing us snacks, I realize I’m not just surviving this. I’m actually enjoying being here, watching him. Having our son asleep against me while the entire stadium roars. I love this loud, chaotic, beautiful life.
At halftime, Ella suddenly grabs my hand. “Come on.”
I blink at her. “Where?”
She flashes her sideline credential like a woman who has never once in her life been told no. “The field.”
My heart jumps immediately.
“Ella—”
“Perks of being related,” she says cheerfully.
Grandma Patty waves us off. “Tell Ben that if he gets tackled too hard again, I will personally have words.”
I laugh, then look down at the baby. Then back at Ella. “Are you sure?”
She grins. “Absolutely.”
And before I can talk myself out of it, she’s already pulling me toward the stairs. Toward the sideline. Toward Ben.
BEN
I hear them before I see them.
Ella’s voice cuts through the sideline noise, and I turn just in time to see her waving her credential.
And then I see Katy. She’s standing just behind the barrier, our baby tucked against her chest, eyes wide but steady. She looks nervous and beautiful and all mine.
For a second, the noise of the stadium fades.
That’s my girl. And that’s my son.
“There’s your crew,” Tyler nudges me.
“Yeah,” I say, already jogging to them. “Hey.” I plant a soft kiss on Katy’s lips.
Her smile is instant. “You were incredible.”
“Thanks.” I look down at our baby. “How did he do?”
“He did great. He mostly slept.” She glances down at him. “Woke up a few times. Was unimpressed.”
I laugh under my breath and reach out, brushing the baby’s foot with careful fingers. He stirs. “That’s my guy,” I murmur.
Ella sniffles loudly, and I give her a look. “What? I’m not crying.”
“Yes, you are. Stop it,” I hiss.
I barely have time to register Katy stepping closer to me before a small herd of large men from the opposing team, Katy’s former college, starts drifting in her direction.
“Katy!” Logan calls out. “Is that the mini dude?”
Matt leans in, helmet under his arm. “That’s him, right? That’s the baby?”
Katy laughs, instinctively angling the carrier so they can see. “Yep.”
“Bro.” Jason shakes his head in awe. “He’s tiny.”
“He was inside a person,” Ella adds helpfully. “That’s how that works.”
The guys grin, crowding a little closer.
“Hey, little man.” Ethan leans in. “What’s up?”
Logan nods at Katy. “Congrats. Seriously.”
I watch it all. And I don’t feel defensive or jealous at all. If anything, I’m grateful to this group of idiots processing adulthood with me in real time. They were never jerks to Katy, and they were never jerks about the situation we found ourselves in.
Then a voice from behind them snaps, “Why are you all over here? Get back to your side.”
Ethan straightens immediately. “Sorry, Coach!” He gestures vaguely at the baby. “This is my almost child. I needed to say hi.”
I blink.
Katy lets out a startled laugh. “Oh my God, you guys!”
Logan winces. “We really need to stop saying that.”
I clear my throat, and every head turns toward me.
I smile, tight and unmistakably serious.
“Yeah.” I hold his gaze. “You guys really need to stop saying that.”
Ethan holds up his hands. “Okay, okay. Retired phrase.”
“Fully retired,” I snap. “Like… permanently.”
Katy looks up at me, eyes bright, clearly fighting a smile.
“Sorry.” Logan rubs the back of his neck. “He jokes to cope.”
“It’s fine.”
The baby shifts and lets out a tiny sound.
“Fine,” Matt whispers. “Even he agrees.”
Katy laughs, and I feel it settle. Whatever had tried to spark in my chest is gone.
Someone yells again from across the field. “MOVE.”
Logan steps back first. “Alright. Congrats, man.” He claps me on the shoulder, respectful. Final.
I nod once. “Thanks.”
As they jog away, Ella leans toward Katy. “That went well.”
Katy smiles. “Yeah. It really did.”
“I’ve gotta head in,” I say reluctantly.
Katy nods. “We’ll be right here.”
I press a kiss to Mini-Ben’s head, then to Katy’s temple, grounding myself in them before jogging back toward the locker room.