Chapter 25
MOLLY
Iwake up with a body sore in ways I never thought possible.
My sex is tender but in a way that makes it feel like it was worshipped.
Last night was beautiful and exciting. It was a euphoric thrill ride even through the painful parts.
Seeing Wolf stripped down in a variety of ways was blissful.
Being vulnerable to him and trusting him with my body was soul-stirring.
Even the burn and the sting was beautifully passionate because of the way he took care of me every second.
But the best part was seeing him come apart for me.
He was just as unguarded, and seeing him lose control, hearing his moans as he surrendered to the pleasure…
It was like having the lights turned on over a part of the world I didn’t realize was sitting in the dark.
It was surreal and exhilarating in a way that already has me craving more.
When my eyes open, daylight is just breaking and casting the room in a faint blue light that comes with the sun trying to peek over the mountains. It glows off Wolf’s bare chest, against which my cheek rests. His arms are still folded heavily across my back.
Oh my God, we actually spent all night like this.
A dense aura of contentment and security settles over me at the knowledge that Wolf slept all night holding me. It’s like we’ve crossed that threshold we’ve been cautiously hovering just outside of this whole time into the world of being genuinely man and wife.
Raising my head, I carefully look up; he’s still asleep. And the only thing I can think about is making him feel more of what we shared last night. To make him feel amazing all over again.
Placing the lightest of kisses to his throat, I feel his cock twitch against my thigh.
A soft mist of elation floats over me as I feel his reaction to my touch, and I immediately want to do more, to make him feel more.
Lowering my head, I place another kiss farther south on his neck, and I’m rewarded with a groan from deep down in his unconsciousness.
I close my eyes and breathe him in and dip my head, kissing his chest, when the familiar beeping of his alarm goes off beside the bed. Time’s up.
Wolf breathes in with a deep rumble, rubbing his eyes with one hand while absently reaching over with the other to shut off the noise. “Hey,” he finally says, his eyes still screwed closed as he seems to war with his brain to wake up.
“Hey,” I respond in a sweet whisper and try to smile at him as he shifts beneath me.
“Fuck, I have to get to work.” He groans, his voice gravelly as he brings his hands up to cradle my face. He places one of his signature kisses—soft but full, brief but lingering—on my lips before shifting me off him and pulling the covers back.
All of a sudden, I feel exposed and vulnerable in a less enjoyable way and pull the covers around me. “Wolf.” I don’t remember deciding to speak. My urge to stop him from heading to the bathroom seems to come as natural as my next breath.
And he does stop, turning to look at me with his half-hard cock jutting right out at me. “What’s up?” he asks, his voice tender underneath the gravel.
What’s up, indeed. I’m now distracted by his cock, which stares at me, and it’s my own fault, of course. I don’t know what to say—the words aren’t going to find their way to me around that distraction. “What?” he asks again.
Now I’m fighting a laugh that’s brewing in my chest. “Can you um…” I look off to the side, pressing my lips together as hard as I can so the laugh doesn’t escape.
I’m pretty sure I heard somewhere guys don’t like when you laugh at their equipment.
I blink at him and then away, hoping he gets what I’m asking.
He sighs loudly and follows that by taking a seat beside me on the bed and covering himself with the duvet. “Moll?” he prompts.
I pull in a deep breath, trying to reset. “So… I know we’re both trying to figure out what a relationship is supposed to be but…” I nibble my lip, not sure how to say this. I start to fidget. “I need you to not leave me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like nothing happened.”
He pauses, I assume trying to look at the situation through my lens. “I didn’t mean to do that. Because something definitely happened.”
“I just… Does this change anything?” I feel my brows fight over whether to hitch up or down, and I wonder if this is how he feels all the time.
“Like did this bring us closer or…?” The question fades out.
I really thought I could be patient with his idiosyncrasies, but the further we go into this marriage, I swear it gets harder, and the need to understand gets stronger.
“Okay,” he whispers. “Just tell me what I’ve got to do to make you not feel that way.”
It’s a big ask, but if I’m honest… “I need you to tell me it brought us closer. Or that you at least want it to.”
“I do… Molly, I want to try. I want us to end up like the couples in those love stories you read. You just have to give us a chance to get there. Allow us some time.”
He gets up again, but this time he stops by the chair where some of his clothes from yesterday hang.
Slob. After grabbing the soft blue T-shirt, he comes back to me and slips it over my head, gently pulling my arms through.
The fabric falls over me like a dreamy cloud that smells like just like him.
He stares at me another moment, his face relaxed, like he’s just taking in the sight of me.
I give him a faint smile, then look down at the jersey-soft material that encases me like a protective shroud.
I’m not sure what he meant by doing this, and maybe even he doesn’t know.
But I like it. He’s leaving a part of himself with me to make me feel less vulnerable and more secure with this marriage.
Just secure enough to maybe have a little faith.
A week and a half goes by. Wolf and his brothers finally get the mountain lion corralled in an area where less people are likely to venture.
Wolf is a little more relaxed, and he smiles more often.
He still kisses me every morning and every night, and the space between us in the bed is gone.
But other than that, Wolf only dares to touch me when we’re going to sleep.
He usually pulls me close to him; either I sleep against his chest or he curls around me from behind.
And he’s ditched pajama pants, now opting to sleep in his boxer briefs, which I think has been his preference all along.
But it’s like we moved up to the next level with no further progress.
We haven’t had any deep conversations since our “wedding night,” and we certainly haven’t ventured back into anything too deep into his family, or past, or anything.
Marriage is confusing when you’ve barely dated anyone before, including each other.
Today, however, is his Saturday off, and I’m hopeful it will help us turn a corner. I know I should talk to him again, and I promise myself that if this stalemate sticks around much longer, I will. After all, he was receptive the first time.
“Do we have enough chips? Should I grab another bag?” I stuff one bag in a tote already full of snacks like pretzels, cookies, and trail mix.
I don’t go to social gatherings much—make that ever—and I have no idea of what or how much to bring to a family party like this.
And I better learn, as Wolf and his brothers spend every Saturday from May to August at their family plot on the lakefront.
“The answer to that is always grab another bag,” he says without turning from the cupboard he’s rifling through. “Summer Saturdays are pretty much food fests with my family.” He turns toward me, frowning. “I can’t find any paper plates. Don’t you have some?”
The frown puts me on the defensive. “Sorry. I forgot to replenish my supply after the last bash I threw.”
“Got it.” He sighs, shutting the cupboards before swiping his phone up off the counter and tapping out a message, probably to ask someone to bring plates and plastic ware.
“Guess I have a few things to learn.” I place a cooler on the counter beside the fridge to start transferring ice packs and drinks
“Hey,” Wolf says and sets down his phone and appears at my side. “Don’t worry about it.” He presses against my shoulder and reaches past me to grab the stack of dips at the back of the fridge.
I get a whiff of his warm skin, and a small swell of excitement rises through my body.
Did he mean to step so close? Does he feel the same tension I do between us?
Why hasn’t he taken the initiative since the one time we were together?
Unfortunately, I have no answers to any of those questions, and right now isn’t the time to get contemplative.
After locking up the cabin, we haul several coolers, tote bags, folding chairs, and towels into the bed of Wolf’s truck.
The drive down the highway toward Gunn Lake is sunny, and I crack my window to enjoy the fresh breeze.
The lake itself is both wide and twisty with views of tree-topped mountain peaks.
I’ve been there a few times while growing up.
The lake offers a couple public beaches, but I’m looking forward to experiencing the quiet and privacy of the property that’s been in Wolf’s family for three generations.