Chapter 27
MOLLY
Since Bert and Dana set everything up, Wolf and I stay behind to take down the tables and canopy tent. I’m content with our mutual silence as we carry the folding chairs and tables to the shed. But when we lock up, Wolf’s brows are pinched in a hard line, like he’s thinking hard about something.
“Something wrong?” I ask as we walk over to the fire pit where four Adirondack chairs remain surrounding it. He hates questions or talking in general, but I chance it anyway, knowing he’s likely to blow me off.
Sure enough, Wolf shakes his head before looking out over the darkened lake and then up at the dusky sky. The deep blue of night is steadily bleeding into the violet remnants of the sunset, and there’s not so much as a single rowboat on the water.
“Let’s stay and hang out a bit,” he suggests.
The solitude and peaceful setting are definitely inviting as well as the mesmerizing dance of the campfire’s orange flames and its comforting warmth.
“Perfect,” I agree, reaching into one of the tote bags and pulling out a blanket and comfortable lounge clothes.
I’m more than ready to get out of the binding constraints of my bikini and jean shorts.
I look around for a place to go change and immediately remember it’s just us here.
No one will see me except Wolf. I stand still for a moment, fiddling with the pair of cotton shorts in my hands, thinking everything through.
His affection today felt completely natural and helped me relax more into our dynamic.
Not to mention, it’s made me excited at the prospect of connecting physically again.
My inner desires are feeling particularly potent in this moment, so I decide to take a chance, willing to accept whatever reaction it gets from Wolf.
I unbutton my shorts and let them drop before stepping out of them and my blue bikini bottoms.
With my bottom completely bare, I take my time, waiting for Wolf to turn from stoking the fire. I let myself enjoy the warmth against my bare skin, and when he finally turns to scope out one of the chairs, he sees me stepping into the soft pair of bed shorts I brought.
His breath looks like it stalled in his chest, and he’s not even hiding it. It’s like he’s trying to discern if he’s really seeing what he thinks he is. “What are you doing?” he asks.
“Nothing, just changing.”
“Molly, we’re out in the?—”
“Middle of nowhere.” I interrupt him with the reminder that this is a private stake of land with plenty of seclusion and no one around. “No one can see me… Except you, and you’ve seen it before.” I reach for the strings behind my neck and pull them loose.
“What’s this about?” he asks, and it looks like he’s trying to stay casual. The pull at the side of his mouth seems to take a little effort as he joins his hands, rubbing at the spot where my name is tattooed across his ring finger.
I pause in thought, letting my eyes dart to the fire before moving back up to his. “You tell me. Does it bother you to see me naked?”
“No, it doesn’t bother me.” He blows out a breath, but the shift in his stance and hand through his hair belie his words. “Just surprised.”
“Well, we’re married, you better get used to it.” I sigh, half in sexual frustration, half in dramatic display as I pull my bikini top off, leaving my breasts fully illuminated by the firelight.
This time, I hear his breath roll out of him as he raises his chin.
Every molecule of my skin is aching for his rugged touch, and I rub at the back of my neck where the knot of my bikini strings has been sitting all day.
I take my time, letting him take it in. His eyes are dark as he stares at my chest a moment longer before shifting his gaze up to my eyes.
Getting restless, I reach for my hoodie jacket and turn to slip my arms in the sleeves.
I’m all for enticing him, but I think the ball is effectively in his court now. If he wants me, he needs to act on it.
I turn and take a seat in one of the chairs, setting the blanket on the arm of it, and lean back, propping a foot up on the seat and hugging my knee.
“Well, I get the feeling something is bothering you so…if you want to talk it out, go for it.”
He crosses his arms and sniffs, looking up at the sky before clearing his throat and looking back at me. “Are you into my brothers?”
“What?” the word bubbles out of me on an incredulous laugh.
“No… Why?” I ask, even though I have an idea where this is going and curse myself for not hating it.
I don’t want to play games with him, but I’d be lying if I said some jealousy from this normally stoic man isn’t pretty hot.
It adds just another layer of security too.
But on the flip side, I know how I’d feel if he was feeling something for someone else.
“You were getting along with them pretty great today, which is good, of course. But the talking and laughing…”
I raise my shoulders. “It feels good to have people, Wolf,” I point out, feeling a little bit bitter that I have to.
His thoughtful nod makes me confident that he’s picking up my drift. “It just made me feel…something…something different.”
I can tell he’s not sure how to convey what he’s trying to say.
“Well…” I draw in a breath, trying to think of some way to help the conversation along.
“I guess I don’t worry that you might want someone else, but I do wonder if you even want me sometimes.
” I’m as gentle as I can be. With his complex personality and aversion to talking out feelings, it’s hard to tell him how I feel.
Plus, I often wonder if I’m going to freak him out.
“What do you mean?” He takes the blanket and lays it on the ground in front of my chair.
“It’s like we’ve plateaued,” I explain. “We moved up a level and then stopped.”
“We had that one issue,” he says, most likely referencing the time he was completely absent during the mountain lion fiasco. He shakes his head and his eyes seem to search the sky for more answers. “But, we talked through it. We made love, and we’ve been getting along great ever since.”
“One time,” I remind him. “And we’ve kissed and touched a little since, but…”
“I didn’t want to push for more.” He shakes his head, like he’s not sure if what he’s saying makes sense. “I didn’t want you to think it was just physical for me.”
“Oh…” That was actually kind of thoughtful of him, so I don’t fault him for thinking that way. But I do fault him for not communicating. Though I probably need to work on that myself.
“Are you saying you want to have sex again?” He cocks an eyebrow.
“I’m saying you don’t have to be afraid to push for more.” I return his smart look.
He smiles warmly and closes his eyes, looking down like he’s admonishing himself. “All right,” he concedes.
“So…” I take a casual breath and let it out, trying to come off light. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to check in, to see what kind of place we’re in, since we both seem to be confused.”
“I would say that we’re in a place where I get pretty riled if another guy so much as breathes wrong in your direction,” he starts, crouching in front of me and opening my knees.
The small gesture gives me a rush of excitement, but I still long for that perfect measure of security, an anchor to pull me out of my head.
“But where does that come from?” I ask, trying to fight the distraction that comes from his hands grazing up and down my thighs. “Is it just territorial male instinct?”
He tips his head to the side. “Well, I do feel possessive… Like I don’t want anyone to have what I do.”
“And what do you have?” I know I’m pushing. And I know I’m stifling the mood he’s trying to build. I do want us to be intimate more often, but I also don’t want it to be used as a means of deflection.
“I have a wife…who I think about every minute I’m away from her,” he admits, kneeling on the blanket in front of me.
Wife… I hardly ever hear him call me that. But wait…“What?” I whisper, falling into the moment with him.
“I hate…being away from you,” he slowly proclaims his thoughts as his hands rise to the waistband of my shorts.
“When I’m at work, all I think about is you…
I wonder what you’re doing…and when I can touch you again like this.
” He waits, his eyes watching mine in the orange glow, waiting for me to signal that he can proceed.
“Yes,” I whisper and lick my lips.
He starts dragging my shorts slowly down my legs, revealing nothing underneath them. “It scares the shit out of me,” he admits down at the task. “When I feel something intense, it…” he frowns in the firelight, his gaze still downcast. “I don’t like not feeling in control, but…”
He’s struggling, and I don’t know how to help him without letting him off the hook.
“I feel that too,” I hear myself say on a serrated whisper.
His dark lashes lift as his gaze shifts from my bare pussy up to my face. “Do you miss me…when we’re apart?” he asks, pulling the shorts the rest of the way off and setting them aside.
“Yes,” I answer between the breaths that are taking over my body. The warm lick of the fire and Wolf’s penetrating gaze have sent a yearning coursing through my bloodstream.
He breaks eye contact to start kissing down my abdomen, letting his lips splay across my skin as he goes.
“You’re mine,” he proclaims as he reaches for the sides of my open jacket, pushing them farther apart so he can lock his hands on my waist. “That’s where I am.
” His tongue licks at the skin of my mound, the movements tapering lower as he goes.