Chapter 36
MOLLY
The newly installed security camera reveals a car I recognize coming down the dirt road.
So by the time Karla sets foot on the front porch, I’m already almost to the door.
My ankle proved to be a bad sprain, and I’ve been more than willing to take the last few days off work to rest and ice it.
My limp is barely there now, though I’m still careful on the joint.
When I swing the door open, Karla stands on the other side, looking lost and beside herself.
Immediately, my shoulders slump with worry. “Karla? What’s wrong?” I reach out a hand to usher her inside.
Instead, she walks into me, wrapping her arms around my frame. “Oh God, Molly, I’m so sorry,” she whispers into my shoulder.
“For what?” I ask, giving her back a soothing rub with my palm before pulling away to look at her.
“That this happened to you.” She sniffs as I shut the door.
I let out a sigh. Her words are not the first condolences I’ve received about my adventure in the woods, but she’s the first person besides Wolf to be taking it so heavily. Her shoulders practically sag with whatever is on her heart as I lead her further into the house.
“Let’s make some tea,” I decide, skipping the pleasantries of offering.
I fill the kettle and get it warming on the stove as she sits at the island.
“You know, I’m really okay,” I assure her as I grab two mugs.
I take a quick glance out to the back yard where Wolf pushes a wheelbarrow of freshly chopped logs to the firepit on the back deck.
The storm offered us some downed trees that he took his recent frustrations out on, and the fire pit didn’t take long either.
“I know, I’m sure you are okay.” Karla’s voice is still shaky as she sets her purse down on the floor near her stool.
“I just keep thinking about you…out there all alone…in the middle of a thunderstorm with no shelter. I was so happy and proud of you for powering through it, but I felt so terrible that you had to.” Her eyes start to water, and I reach across the counter, taking her hand and squeezing it between my fingers.
“And I know it’s pointless and destructive, but I can’t help but think of what could’ve happened if you hadn’t been so strong.
” A tear falls as she sniffs, and I release her hand to go in search of a box of tissues.
I settle for a paper towel that I tear off the roll and hand to her as the kettle whistles.
I quickly drop a couple of tea bags in the mugs and pour the water in them. When I have milk and sugar out on the island, I hurriedly take a seat next to Karla. In this moment, she’s the one who needs someone.
“I’m here to tell you something I should’ve told you long ago—maybe.” She cuts herself off as her brow furrows. Her eyes flit to the side, and for a moment she looks lost. “I don’t know how much it would’ve helped, but I think after what happened, you should know.”
I nod softly. “Okay. Go ahead but take your time.”
She wraps a hand around her hot mug but doesn’t take a sip or even lift it. She looks more like she’s trying to steady herself as she draws in a long breath before speaking. “Molly, you know my relationship with your grandmother goes beyond being the family lawyer, don’t you?”
I nod. “You’ve always been a close family friend. It’s why she trusted you.”
She nods her affirmation before a thin shadow of wistful sadness falls over her face. “I was friends with your mom— Or well, I tried to be.”
I feel my chin dip at this information. “Okay, no. I didn’t know that.”
“Our mothers were best friends, so we all saw each other a lot. We were close to the same age, and naturally, our mothers were hoping we’d have a bond like theirs.
Your mother and I…we were friendly. We’d sometimes hang out, have an occasional sleepover.
But she didn’t seem to have much use for things like that.
It was like she didn’t really care about having a girlfriend to laugh with so much as she wanted a boy to fall in love with her.
” She folds her lips together and shakes her head as if to indicate she didn’t understand it.
“She seemed to be willing to do anything for that. She eventually dropped out of school. Our junior year it was, and she ran away with the guy she thought was finally the one.” Karla raises her eyebrows, showing a thin veil of sarcasm in her expression.
“He’s the one who got her pregnant with you, and I’m sorry, but I don’t remember his name.
” She looks up apologetically. I just know he was no good, and went to jail before she was even that far along. ”
“It’s okay.” I shake my head with a sigh.
“That never really mattered much to me.” I tell her that to ease her mind but also because it’s true.
I never felt much urge to concern myself with my mother either.
I somehow grew up with the ingrained blessing of not wasting energy on people who didn’t do the same on me.
“I think the one thing I’m curious about is how she ended up that way.
” I shake my head, looking around the room.
“I mean, I was raised by the same two people she was.”
Karla lifts a shoulder. “Nurture doesn’t always win out over nature. I’m sure a lot of people think that it should, in theory. But I think your mother might have had some deeply rooted depression and some self-esteem issues that your grandparents struggled to understand.”
Karla’s words evoke a sinking feeling in my stomach and an image of my mother in my mind.
One where she’s not pasting on a fake smile like the one I’ve seen in the few pictures, but one where she looks lonely and sad.
I’ve never thought of her that way because I always try not to think of her at all and just be happy with the loving grandparents I had.
“Anyway, as you already know, your mother kept getting in and out of trouble, and it always revolved around whatever guy she met that was making her feel good about herself at the time. Sometimes your grandparents would take you from her and tell her she needed to get her act together, and sometimes she’d willingly dump you on them. ”
“Yeah, I don’t remember that fortunately,” I comment, taking a sip of my tea.
“She’d always come back and always when she was single.
” Karla shakes her head, this time in outright disgust and disappointment.
“She’d swear that she was ready to be a mother, but if you ask me, it was because she needed some kind of purpose and validation, and having you provided that for her until the next guy came around. ”
Another twinge of emotion toward the mother I scarcely remember flares, but this time it’s an acute spark of fury.
“The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she met some loser named Donny.
” Karla’s words thicken with something that resembles sorrow mixed with anger.
“An absolutely disgusting deadbeat who was unfortunately blessed with good looks and smooth-talking skills that, of course, won your mother over and enticed her to move him right in with the both of you.”
My heart jumps in my chest, beating fast and warning me of something ugly headed my way. “Well…where is he? What happened to him?” I ask, nervously spinning my mug in my hands.
“He’s dead.” She says the words without preamble or ceremony, and my breath leaves my lungs and my overactive heart relaxes slightly before she says the next part. “Your mother killed him.”
My body goes numb except for my insides, which seem to desperately work to bring feeling back.
“Th-that’s why she was in jail?” I ask, and all of a sudden, I’m straightening on my stool, gazing around out the windows and looking for Wolf.
I just want to see him in this moment, to know he can be at my side at a second’s notice.
Karla nods, and a tear breaks free from one of her blue eyes. This time I place an arm around her shoulders. “One night, there was a thunderstorm…”
I close my eyes, knowing she’s about to show me a smoking gun. For once just the word thunderstorm seems to trigger me, but not enough to make me shut down and curl into myself. Something stronger inside of me wants to hear the rest of the story, so it keeps me coherent.
“It was the middle of the night,” Karla continues.
“Your mother thought she heard a scream between bouts of thunder. I don’t know if she was genuinely concerned for you, or if she just noticed this Donny guy was missing from her bed, but anyway…
” She straightens up and rolls her shoulders as if trying to shake off the toxic sentiments and focus on the facts.
“She got up and went to your room, and when she opened the door she found that sleaze, hovering over you in your bed. She couldn’t see much, but one lightning flash and she could see he had a hand clamped over your mouth and your eyes were open.
The part that haunts me most about the story your grandmother told me is the absolute terror your mom saw in your eyes in that single flash.
” Karla’s voice starts to break apart, and she brings her fist to her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut.
I’m still stunned, except the walls of my chest squeeze inward. tight and hard, as if they’re trying to shield my heart.
“She ran back to her bedroom, and I’m not sure how clear she was thinking, if she was thinking at all,” she continues.
“I’m sure she was at least half high. But she apparently knew where that piece of scum kept his gun.
And she was running back to your room when he met her in the hallway.
I’m not sure what he was saying to her, probably telling her it wasn’t what she thought she saw, but it didn’t matter.
She emptied whatever was left in the clip right into his chest at point blank range. ”
“Oh my God… Did he… What did he do to me?” I still feel no signs of tears, but I’ve started to shake. All over. Full-on tremors rack my hands all the way up my arms.