Chapter 30
On Monday after he’d finished working the herd with his daet, Jonas wrote a letter to Christina and told her what was happening here in Shepherd’s Hill.
He told her about the scandalous will that was setting the community into factions—those who thought Miri should be left in peace and those who thought the will was an injustice to the Yoder family.
He talked about sheep farming and how he was making some concrete plans for when they returned to Shepherd’s Hill.
He told her about Tabitha’s husband’s death and how Tabitha was happy for him and Christina, but she was dealing with her own life complications right now.
And he told her that he was talking to Tabitha as a friend to make sure that she was okay.
Then he signed, sealed, and stamped the letter, and he mailed it off on his way into town.
That took care of his own conscience. He was doing nothing in the dark, but he and Tabitha had been close friends for a long time, and he wouldn’t feel right just turning his back on her during this traumatic episode.
She was going through a lot right now, and while she tended to put a confident, calm face forward, he knew her better than that.
This had upset her, and she needed support to get through it.
Jonas went to town and ordered a pizza. When his pizza was ready, he carried it out to his buggy and headed back down the familiar roads in the direction of the Schrock farm.
The pizza wasn’t exactly piping hot when Jonas arrived at the Schrocks’ home, but it was still warm, and he carried the box to the side door.
It opened before he knocked, and Tabitha met him with a surprised smile.
He could smell the scent of burned food.
Maybe pizza was a better idea than he’d even thought.
“I come bearing pizza,” Jonas said.
“I just made tuna casserole,” Tabitha said. “But this smells better.”
“Who’s there?” Abram called.
“Come in,” Tabitha said, stepping back and gesturing inside. Then she raised her voice. “It’s Jonas, Daet!”
“More trouble with your animals?” Abram asked, appearing around the corner. His gaze landed on the pizza box, and his eyes lit up. “Are you bribing us with pizza?”
“Sure am,” Jonas replied. “Although I heard that Tabitha made tuna casserole. I’d hate to ruin that meal.”
“Tabitha burned tuna casserole,” Abram grunted, and he reached for the pizza box. “I’ll get us some plates.”
Tabitha’s face reddened, and she exchanged a rueful smile with Jonas.
Abram got plates onto the table, and Tabitha brought a pitcher of meadow tea with mint leaves floating on the top and three tall glasses. The casserole stayed on the stovetop. They bowed their heads for a silent grace, then Abram cleared his throat and took the first slice of pizza.
“Go ahead, Jonas,” Tabitha said. Jonas took the next slice, then Tabitha served herself.
Everything seemed quiet enough here at the Schrock farm, and for all of Jonas’s willingness to speak openly in front of Tabitha’s father, it wasn’t easy. Still, having her daet acting as an unwitting chaperone did keep things proper.
“So have you heard from Kelsie again?” Jonas asked.
Tabitha nodded. “Yah. There was another message from her lawyer on my answering service this morning. She wants to talk again. She seems to think that since Michael was cheating on her, too, that we are somehow in the same boat.”
“Aren’t you, though?” Jonas asked.
“Not exactly. I was faithful to Michael. Her relationship with him began in unfaithfulness. She stole my husband, and Freya was in the process of stealing hers.”
“No man is stolen,” Abram said. “He isn’t a shovel or a piece of mail. He had a choice. Choices make or break a man.” He met Jonas’s gaze with an iron stare.
“I agree with that,” Jonas said, shooting Abram a questioning look. Did Abram think he wouldn’t? “Michael made his choices, but so did Kelsie. Both of them were responsible, and I don’t think Tabitha owes her anything.”
“I owe her forgiveness,” Tabitha said.
“As a Christian, yah,” he agreed. “But you don’t need to be a part of her life now or be her comfort. She certainly wasn’t yours.”
“I agree with the Peachy boy,” Abram said. “There are limits to what you must do, Tabitha. Limits.”
Peachy boy. Were they back to that old nickname again?
“It isn’t about Kelsie,” Tabitha said. “This is about me. I need to be right with Gott.”
“I’m worried that Kelsie is taking advantage of you,” Jonas said.
“How?”
“I’m not sure. But she never had your best at heart in the past. Why is she asking for more of your time? I’m positive whatever she wants, it’s for her own benefit, not yours.”
Tabitha cocked her head to one side in agreement, chewing slowly. When she swallowed, she said, “I know you both care about me, but I’m actually feeling better.”
“Are you?” Jonas asked, squinting at her.
“Yah!” She gave him a bright smile that dropped as quickly as it lit up her face, and he didn’t believe it for a second.
“I did love Michael when we got married, and that was worth something. He and Kelsie hurt me deeply, but I did manage to get my education, and I’m working a job I love. Some good has come from it all.”
“So . . . you’re not upset about all this anymore?” Jonas put down his pizza.
“I’m not.”
“The betrayal, the affair, his remarriage, his second wife’s desire to trot you out like a show horse at the funeral . . . you’re fine with it all now?”
“I don’t know why she wanted me at the funeral. She never said.”
“Fine, maybe I’m being uncharitable there. But you’re the one I’m worried about.”
“I’m okay.” Again, her expression was forced.
Jonas exchanged a look with Abram, and her father raised his eyebrows in a skeptical look. Neither of them believed that, it would seem.
“No, you’re not,” Abram said softly.
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she dropped her slice of pizza. “I want to be, Daet, okay? I want to be okay and to put all of this behind me. I’m tired of being sad and upset all the time. I just want to be over it.”
“That sounds true,” Jonas said. “You’ll get there, Tabby.”
“Well, I’d like to hurry it along,” she said. “I know Daet disagrees with this, but I want to go to the graveyard where Michael is buried.”
“There’s no point in going all the way into the city to look at a slab of stone that marks the place where your cruel, cheating, scheming husband lies,” Abram retorted.
“Ex-husband,” Jonas and Tabitha both murmured at the same time, and Tabitha’s gaze snapped up with an amused glitter to meet Jonas’s.
“Ex-husband,” her father said with a roll of his eyes.
“If you insist upon looking at this in an Englischer way, then it should matter even less. He is gone now, and he is facing his eternity. But you are still here, and, dear girl, you are free. Do you understand that? You are free of him, completely.”
“I will be,” Tabitha said. “Once I’ve said goodbye. I need to see his grave.”
“Well then, you are not going alone,” Abram said brusquely.
That too bright look came to Tabitha’s face again—the one that was covering up a whole lot more underneath—and Jonas’s chest felt like it could crack open.
She wanted to go down to that graveyard and face a grave with all the silent recriminations circling through her head, just because she wanted to hurry past the pain.
There was no way he’d let her face all of that by herself.
“I could go with her,” Jonas said, the words out before he could even think it through.
Abram and Tabitha both looked at him mutely.
“I’m happy to do it,” he pressed on. “Tabby, you need some moral support of your own.”
Tabitha sighed. “I suppose if Jonas wanted to come along . . .”
She didn’t finish the thought. Jonas looked toward Abram, and the older man wiped his mouth with a napkin.
“You’re an adult, Tabby. You can do what you like,” her father said, dropping the napkin onto the table.
“Are you free tomorrow afternoon?” Tabitha asked Jonas. “I’ve got some time then, and I could order a taxi to pick us up from here at, say, two?”
Jonas looked toward Abram, and the older man looked annoyed but stayed silent.
“Yah, I could make that work,” Jonas replied.
“Danke, Jonas.” She smiled, and the heaviness around her eyes seemed to lighten just a little bit. “You’re a good friend.”
Jonas stood up. “I shouldn’t stay longer,” he said. He’d already made more plans than he’d intended and staying longer in the Schrock kitchen felt like too much. “I left my horse hitched up, so I’d better get going.”
“Let me walk out with you,” Abram said.
Tabitha’s gaze flicked between the two of them, but she didn’t say anything further. Jonas headed for the door, leaving the clinking of Tabitha collecting the plates into a pile behind him. Abram stepped into his boots and followed Jonas outside.
“Now, about this trip to the graveyard,” Abram said once they were out beside Jonas’s buggy.
“Yah?”
“It’s a terrible idea.” Abram fixed him with a steady look.
“I already said I’d do it.” Jonas looked toward the house. Tabitha passed in front the of the window with plates in her hands, but she didn’t pause to look out.
“Well, you can’t back out now,” Abram agreed. “She’ll know I was the one who stopped it, and she gets highly irritated when I meddle in her affairs.”
“At least I can make sure she doesn’t have any run-ins with Kelsie or Michael’s family,” Jonas replied, “and I’ll be there to remind her that she was a good wife, and there was no excuse for Michael’s behavior.”
Abram sighed heavily. “Yah, there is that . . . But you be careful. She has been through a lot, and whether or not she thinks that Michael’s death was a shock, it was. And she’s vulnerable.”
“That’s why I didn’t want her to go alone.”
Abram pressed his lips together for a moment, then nodded. “But in emotionally tumultuous times, hearts can get involved, Jonas. I know your intentions are pure, but things can easily get complicated. Do you understand?”
“Oh, I’m not—”
“Jonas,” Abram said sharply, and Jonas startled. The older man’s eyes darkened with intensity. “Be careful with her. She is more fragile than she looks. Do you hear me?”
“Yah, I hear you” was all that Jonas could think to say.
“Good. Have a safe drive home.” Abram turned and stomped off toward the house.
Jonas untied his horse and got up into the driver’s seat of the buggy. Just as he was about to flick the reins, Abram turned back.
“And danke for the pizza!” he called out gruffly.
Jonas raised his hand in a wave, then circled his buggy around and headed up the drive.
Was Abram right? Was Tabitha vulnerable enough that their troublesome, simmering feelings of not so long ago might come bubbling back to the surface? She was the one who’d sent him away to begin with. She was the one who hadn’t wanted to keep up their tender, hopeless friendship.
Gott, guide me.
It was a simple prayer but an earnest one.
Tabitha was not okay, and she needed support, but at the same time, Jonas could see the emotional danger.
He wasn’t a fool, but he couldn’t leave Tabitha alone in this either.
He would help his friend, and he would stay firmly on the side of what was right.
May Gott help him toe that line.