3
S hortly after they left, Agnes came back in with a cart that has a tray on it, a small vial, and a big plastic thing.
“Alright honey, I have a needle here that I am going to poke you with and take a little of your blood for the match test. After that, I am going to sit in here with you while you eat. Physical Therapy is going to come up in about a half hour and we are going to get you up on your feet. Before they come, I’m also going to remove your catheter, but I will do that after you have eaten. Once that comes out, if you get the urge to pee, let me know and I can help you up to the restroom, okay?”
I nod to her and she smiles at me, walks over to me, ties a rubber thing around my arm, asks me to make a fist, and pokes me with the needle. I don’t even feel it go into my arm. She looks sad while she does it. The little vial fills up fast with my blood and she is soon bringing me the thing I couldn’t stop staring at. Food. I don’t know what tea is, but I do know what broth is, and I think I remember toast from when I was a lot younger than I am now.
I slowly grab the cup she tells me is broth and am surprised when the cup is warm. All the broth I’ve had before has been cold. Letting the heat seep into my skin, wishing I could crawl into the cup and absorb its warmth. Slowly I sip it, remembering one time when HE forgot to bring me food for four days. I made myself sick from how fast I drank my broth that I threw up and got no more for a few days. I grab the brown triangle that she says is toast and take a bite out of it. It is crunchy and something on it makes my lips feel like they have something slippery on them. But oh man, is it good. Being brave, I pick up the cup she said was tea and try that, too. It doesn’t taste good and I think I make a funny face because Agnes chuckles at me then takes the cup, opens a little pink package, puts some white content into my cup, and stirs it up.
“Try it now honey, I added a little sweetener to it for you.”
I slowly take the cup and sip. It’s much better, still a little bitter, but not as bad as it was. My stomach is already full and I look at the remaining piece of toast, the broth still left in the cup and the tea, and wonder when I will get food again. I know Doctor Owens said that if I can tolerate it, we can work our way up, but I have no clue what that meant. Agnes realizes I’m done eating and just looks sadder. I think I heard her sniffle with her back turned from me while she was taking the cart with the food on it out of the room.
She took the tube out from between my legs, telling me that it was draining my urine from my body. Which is just strange. She helps me sit up on the edge of the bed and brushes my hair for me.
“Are you okay to sit there for a moment while I grab you another gown so you can keep your backside covered up while we go for our walk?”
I nod to her and she smiles, then leaves the room and is back before I can even think about standing up by myself. It’s then that I realize I am wearing a strange white thing with green dots on it. I don’t remember the last time I wore clothes. It was when I was still new to HIM, but it seems like it was ages ago. Agnes helps me put it on, like a coat, so my back is no longer exposed.
A short while later, another female comes into the room and says her name is June. She’s from physical therapy to get me up and walking and see how I am doing. Agnes whispers to her quietly, and June nods at her.
“If you start to get tired, I want you to tap my arm two times quickly and we will bring you back to your room. If you feel you are about to faint or fall, I want you to tap three times rapidly. Can you do that for me?”
I nod to her and she steps forward and helps me stand up slowly. It feels strange to be standing without chains supporting me. My legs wobble and shake as I stand up on them for the first time in a long time, without help. This is when I realize that I am much shorter than Agnes and June, and I am free. There hasn’t been anyone to yell at me, or to mistreat me, and I think back to before I came to HIM, even then I was getting yelled at. My eyes begin to leak and Agnes doesn’t miss it.
“Oh honey, it’s okay! Are you in pain?” I shake my head at her. “No, are you okay?” I nod my head to her. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there. My eyes are still leaking, and my heart rate is picking up. What is wrong with me? Why am I leaking from my eyes? Why do I feel like for the first time in my life everything will be okay? She stops squeezing me and steps back from me. Her eyes are leaking as well. My head tilts to the side and I just stare at it. Why is she leaking too?
“Oh man, here I am telling myself I wouldn’t get all worked up and cry in front of you but, honey you just looked like you needed a hug, and when you didn’t hug me back, it made me wonder if you knew what a hug was and it just broke my heart.”
A hug? Is that what squeezing someone is called? It wasn’t bad; it made me feel safe. Like someone cared about me. I smiled at her, and she blinks at me and then smiles back. Well, I think I smiled at her; it is strange to try to get your face to do things it hasn’t done in a long time, and it felt strange, but hopefully I did it right.
June and Agnes lead me out of the room and into the hallway. The lights are all off out here, and there are other people wearing clothes similar to Agnes sitting at a table in the middle of the room. There are small black squares in front of them and they are using a rectangle with small squares on it and things are appearing in front of them as they move their hands across the squares. Everything is so strange . Am I on the same planet? Did I finally die? Is that why no one is hurting me or being mean to me ?
We walk around the hallway for what seems like way too short of a time for me and June says it’s time for us to head back. There are so many rooms here with doors like my own, most of them closed, some of them open, and a strange shiny wall we passed on our way here that had a line down the middle of it. As we pass by it, it opens, the walls sliding apart, and a man is in there with another man in a chair with wheels on it.
“Now Mister Parker, you know sneaking outside to smoke is against hospital policy, especially because you are on oxygen. You could seriously hurt yourself or someone else!” says the male, pushing the other male in the chair. His voice is soft but firm. The male pushing the chair looks up at Agnes, smiles, and nods at her and my heart stops. His eyes are the same piercing green eyes that I’ve been dreaming about for as long as I can remember. The streaks of brown in them are in the exact same spot and direction as the eyes from my dreams.
“E…eyyes.” I startle myself with my voice. I don’t remember what it exactly sounds like, but I don’t remember it sounding like wood being rubbed against something sharp. Agnes and June stop and look at me. The male with the green eyes looks at me and stops what he is doing, too. I don’t know how to tell the expression on his face, because I don’t know enough facial expressions besides rage and planning to do mean things to me. He is so much taller than me, I don’t even come up to his armpits. This male has strange metal on his face that has some type of glass in it. He doesn’t have any hair on his face like Doctor Owens, either. His arms look like they would give wonderful hugs? That’s what Agnes called it, right? They aren’t super big, but they have some bumps on them. Is he sick? That’s why he’s here? Getting those bumps on his arms removed?
Agnes is just standing there with her mouth hanging open at me. Did I do something wrong? Wait, did I break her? Why is her mouth open like that?
“Come on, sport, take me back to the room. You can stare at the lady later.” Grumbles the old man in the chair.
That seems to get everyone’s attention, and both Agnes and June walk me back to my room, faster than we walked the entire time. Both of them share looks over my head, which isn’t hard to do since they are a head taller than me or more.
“Honey, how do you know Connor? Is he a person that did this to you?” Agnes ask. Her forehead has strange waves in it, and her eyes look to be shut a little looking at me.
I shake my head at her. HE isn’t here. The male looked nothing like HIM and instead of feeling fear, all I wanted to do was have him hug me. I don’t know how to say that with shaking my head and nodding at her, that I don’t know him. So I do what I am scared of doing.
“I…I don’t knowwww him. I. I. I.”
“You what dear?” Says June.
My face feels hot, and I don’t understand why. It feels uncomfortable for me. Is this my punishment for talking here? Feeling like my face is on fire?
“She wanted to know why I was here in the hospital. She thought I was sick and needed to get the bumps on my arms removed.” Says the same soft voice. As he moves his arms, the bumps on them move and I watch them. Are they going to hurt me or him? Would they hurt Agnes or June? I look at them and they don’t look like they are scared of him, or the bumps on his arms.
“Agnes, can you have them check my blood against hers? Gods, I don’t even know her name! What is your name, sweetheart? And no, my muscles aren’t going to hurt anyone here.” He chuckles. “No, I am not sick. I help out here from time to time. I am a volunteer for the hospital, sometimes I take patients out for a walk, or help people coming in to visit to find the right room they are going to.”
I know I didn’t say anything about his bumps. Wait muscles are what he called them. Are they the same muscles that move parts of my body? Why are his muscles so much bumpier than mine? How does he know what I am thinking? Wait, can he hear what I am thinking right now? Connor smiles at me and nods his head. My face feels like it is on fire again. Why does this keep happening?
At some point during my mental freak out, June had left the room. Agnes is still standing there staring at us, and she looks like her eyes are going to leak again.
“Honey, I am going to leave the room. Do you want Connor to stay? I want to go run his blood against yours when they are done. If you don’t want Connor to stay, let me know, but I know he would never hurt you.”
I don’t know what to say. Do I want him to stay here? He’s a male. The only other male I’ve had around me since I’ve been here has been Doctor Owens and Agnes said he wouldn’t hurt me, but she also said that Connor wouldn’t hurt me either. Neither male had been alone with me, though.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I understand. If you want me to come back, just have Agnes page me and I’ll be here as soon as I can.” With that, he walked out the door. Agnes touches me on my knee and turns to leave, but stops.
“I don’t know what happened to you, and I know you’re going to need time to talk about it, but Connor is a respectable young man. He also has the gift of telepathy. He can tell what you are thinking, so we also use him a lot if there is a language issue with patients. He is an immense help to us. June said you are stable enough on your feet to move around your room without assistance, so if you need to go to the restroom while I’m not in here, you can. If you feel you are about to fall or need anything, just say help and someone will come running in to help you. You don’t have to say it very loud. There is a spell in the room that when anyone inside says those words, even in a whisper by a patient, the nursing staff gets a notification.”
Her last words sounded like she was having trouble talking, like she was crying. That’s what she called it, like she was crying again.
Feeling completely drained, I sit down on the bed. I had food, and I got to walk around in more than a small little area, even though I wanted to see everything. It was still more freedom than I have had in years. There are no chains here. The worst thing that happened to me was being poked by the needle that I didn’t even feel.