9
I n the darkness, I dream of the eyes all around me. Some of them look wet while others scare me for the first time in my life with looks of anger like HE used to have. Just like last time, Connor is fully here. His eyes are leaking, he reaches out and touches my face and says, “I love you Farlen, please fight for us, don’t give up.” I try to tell him with my head that I don’t understand. Did he just call me Farlen? Is that my name? How did he figure out my name? I feel pressing on my chest over and over. It also feels like someone is pushing air into my mouth. Then more pressing.
I try again to ask Connor what is going on with my mind, but he doesn’t reply. It makes me scared. Is someone hurting me? What happened to Connor? Why isn’t he talking to me? I remember reaching him and feeling like something was trying to rip its way out of me. But I don’t remember what happened after that. Why won’t the pressing stop? It feels like it’s been going on for a long time.
Finally, the pressing on me stops and the air being pushed into my mouth stops, too. Maybe now I can sleep. My body feels so tired like it does after HE came to see me and the light came on. It’s just me, the eyes, and Connor.