25
Farlen
C onnor was right! I did dream of more than just eyes this time; he was there, and so was Instructor Fry! The other eyes were there, nothing else of them though, but I was between Connor and Instructor Fry and they had their arms around me, giving me a hug from the front and from the back. It was nice, and it made my stomach feel funny down low again. Maybe Connor will know why I keep feeling funny like that.
I don’t remember falling asleep. I remember moving fast, and feeling like I couldn’t breathe, and then feeling like something heavy was on my chest. I sit up fast and close my eyes fast because the light is on.
“Fuck, sweet girl, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d wake up so fast. Just give me a second to turn off the bright light and I’ll turn on one of the smaller ones.”
He turns off the bright light and I see him holding his phone, touching the screen a lot. He uses it to show him where he is walking and goes to one of the small lights in the room and turns it on. It still hurts my eyes a little, but it isn’t as bad as it was before. I look down at myself; remembering having blood on me, but there isn’t any. I am still in the clothes I was in before.
“Where blood go?”
“I cleaned it off you after I got you in bed. I didn’t think you’d want to sleep in it. How are you feeling? Are you tired?”
“Hungry? Stomach feels funny.” His words made my stomach feel funny again .
“Where is it feeling funny at? And does it hurt at all?”
“No hurt, feels funny.” I put my hand where it feels funny.
His entire face turns red. Not like angry red, but he has his mouth open and is looking around the room fast, like he’s trying to find something.
“Uh, alright, I will try to explain this to you, and I want you to know that I am probably not going to explain it right, so we may have to bring it up with Zachariah, maybe he can explain it better than I can.”
“Well, I’m here now, so what is it I can explain to her?”
I look up and see Instructor Fry standing in the door, his red eyes looking at me. It doesn’t scare me, but it makes my stomach feel funny again. My face feels like it’s on fire again and I try to hide in my hair. Connor grabs his phone and taps on it for a minute, then sets it down. Instructor Fry pulls his phone out and looks at it. He looks at me and then back at his phone. He does a weird thing where one of his eyebrows raises higher than the other one. Connor nods his head at him.
“Alright Farlen, Zachariah is going to explain this to you, you can trust him just like you trust me okay, he’s not going to hurt you, but he can’t hear in your head like I can so you have to use your words with him. Remember, he won’t hurt you. He’s your soulmate, just like I am okay. He’s supposed to be a part of you.”
I nod to Connor. If he says Instructor Fry won’t hurt me, then I believe him.
“I’m going to make you some peanut butter sandwiches. When he’s done talking to you, come on out and eat.”
He leaves the room and Instructor Fry sits down in the chair Connor left. I look up at him and his red eyes lock onto mine. I feel like I could get lost in them. They have a weird swirly color to them. There are parts of them that are darker than the other until they go black. He makes my stomach feel funny, like Connor does.
“Alright, Farlen, so what you are feeling is entirely normal. That funny feeling you keep getting is you being aroused. It is a natural response of your body to lubricate you so you are wet, and will make sex less painful.”
“What’s sex?”
“Ah, well, you do know that men and women have different body parts?” I nod at him. I remember the difference. It’s one dream I keep having now that I’m not there. I remember him coming down in the dark and hurting me, and then sticking something in me, and telling me it was all my fault.
“You’re going to have to explain that look to me some time. I won’t push you on it now, but when you’re comfortable with me, I want to know what that was about.” He sounds angry. I try to hide. Connor said he wouldn’t hurt me, but he sounds so mad.
“I uhhh, shit, I’m not mad at you, I am angry because the way you looked when I said that is making my imagination run wild with what could cause that reaction, and it is making me angry, but not at you.”
I nod to him.
“So, back onto topic, you know the difference between men and women, well sex is when they come together in an intimate moment, a man will stick his cock into the women’s vagina, and they will move and feel a lot of pleasure together, until they both find their release and cum.”
“NO SEX!” I say as loud as I can. That sounds like what HE did to me, but there was only pain, no pleasure. I look at Instructor Fry’s eyes and the darkness in them seems like it’s all over his eyes now. His nose keeps blowing air out of it hard, and he looks angry.
“Connor should have made your food by now. Why don’t you go see if it’s ready for you?” He says it like he is trying not to move his mouth. It sounds strange. I stand up and feel like the room spins. Instructor Fry grabs me and holds my arm while the room stops spinning.
“Spinning.” His hands feel nice, like Connors. Warm. I touch my stomach where it feels funny and look down at it.
“No sex,” I say to my stomach. Instructor Fry lets my arms go but keeps his hands out and watches me. The room isn’t spinning anymore, so I walk to the big table and sit down. Connor is there and his face is red again.
“So, did Zachariah tell you what the funny feeling is?” He slides me a plate of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I nod to him, and my stomach feels funny again the way he is looking at me.
I look down at it again and give it a mean face. “NO sex!”
Connor makes a funny noise, and I look up at him. His face is white. I look down at my arm and hold it up so it’s near his face. His face is almost as white as my arm. I don’t know what that means. His phone rumbles again and he looks at it, and then he is whiter than me.
“Farlen, I am going to need you to tell me something sweet girl, and if I get mad about it, it isn’t you at all okay? Remember, nothing you tell me will ever have me mad at you. I may just be mad because of what happened, but not mad at you.” He waits for me to nod my head at him. “I am going to need you to use your words for this sweet girl, because right now, what I am thinking is not good.”
“Okay.”
“Okay good, now sweetheart, did the man who hurt you ever touch you?”
I hear Instructor Fry walk into the table room. He stops and stands near the wall, just looking at me.
“Knives, fire, pointy things, lots of touching with them.” The table where Connor is holding it makes a funny noise.
“What he wants to know, Farlen, is if the man ever made you have sex with him.” Instructor Fry says.
“Yes, made sex, hurt me, told me my fault.”
Both Connor and Instructor Fry both say something at the same time. Sounded like fuck and kill him.
Connor looks mad. I look over at Instructor Fry; he looks mad too. I don’t know what to do. Never before had two mad men. Connor takes a couple of deep breaths and looks over to Instructor Fry, and nods his head. Instructor Fry leaves through the door to outside. A few minutes later, I hear someone yell loud and it sounds like something is hitting a tree .
“Thank you, sweet girl, for telling us. We are not mad at you for what happened, and it wasn’t your fault, no matter what the sick bastard said to you. You are not to blame for anything that happened to you. We are mad at the man who did it to you, and one day soon, we will find out who he is, and he can never touch you again.”
“He dead, no can touch me.”
“Good.”
He stops talking to me, and I eat my sandwich. Even after the one, I am still hungry. I look over this plate and see he still has all his. He smiles at me and pushes the plate over to me. I take one of his and can eat almost all of that one. When I put down the rest of the sandwich I can’t eat, Instructor Fry comes back in. He is breathing hard. Instructor Fry walks over to me and sits on his knees on the ground. He grabs one of my hands.
“I am sorry Farlen, I am not mad at you, but I am mad at that man, and I would like it if you would tell me his name, so I can go show him how mad at him I am.”
“She said he’s dead already.” I nod my head at Connor. Something rumbles high in my stomach. It isn’t the funny feeling I get down low, but it is higher in my stomach. I look down at it. What is wrong with my stomach?
Instructor Fry looks at me. It is very strange. He is so much bigger than me, but with him sitting on his knees here, he is just a bit smaller than me. I smile at him; I like this.
“Has Connor told you about what happened during class?” he asks me.
“Nooo. I know pain, then blood, and quishing feeling, then in bed!” I’m getting much better at my words, now if only I could say them right, I know how they are supposed to sound in my head, but I just can’t get my mouth to say them right sometimes.
“Alright, well that is pretty close to what happened, you were taken to Healer Daniel, and he healed you, and fix your lungs. While you were being healed, we discovered that you are a shifter of some type. Tomorrow you’ll go to the shifter class. Instructor Payne will be your teacher there. Healer Daniel told him about all the problems you have, and he won’t try to make you do things your body isn’t ready for. You also are going to see Healer Daniel more often, a few times a week, once it gets dark.”
I nod at him. I keep my eyes on his eyes. They are still kind of swirly with the dark in them. It does feel like it’s easier to breathe. I take a big breath in and a funny sound escapes me.
“What’s wrong?” Connor and Instructor Fry ask me at the same time.
Focusing hard on how the words are supposed to sound, I say, “Not wrong, can breathe with no pain.” I fill my body up with as much air as I can and laugh as it all escapes out of me. I haven’t felt that full of air ever. I do it again just to feel it. I smile at both of them. Focusing again, I say, “I can feel it, I can feel the air in me.” I take another deep breath and laugh, and all the air escapes out of me again with my laugh.
Connor smiles at me and Instructor Fry has a funny look on his face. I want him to smile too, so I reach over and push his face up to make it look like he is smiling! He laughs at me and smiles, too. I have more I want to ask, so I try to focus on the words and how they are supposed to sound.
“If I get healed, and scars gone, can I feel you?” Both of them are now no longer smiling. I look at both of them, waiting for one of them to answer me.
“We hope so, sweet girl. I hope that one day when I have my hand in yours, you can feel it. When I kiss your head good night, you can feel my lips on your forehead. I hope one day you can feel the hugs I give you, and not just the pressure from them. One day, I hope you can feel everything.”
“I feel warmth. Not cold like me.”
Instructor Fry gives my hand a big hand hug. “I am glad you can feel the warmth of us that gives me some ideas that maybe not all of your nerve endings are fried, just maybe the pain receptors are damaged. Are you okay if I am at your healings?”
“Okay, you soulmate.” I am starting to get really sleepy again. Connor notices, he always notices when I’m sleepy.
“Alright sweet girl, why don’t you go get some more rest? I will wake you up a little earlier in the morning for classes than today, so you need to get as much rest as you can.” I nod at them both and stand up. Instructor Fry gives my hand one last hug and then lets it go. I go to get under my blankets, but the silly shirt is itchy. I take it off and lie down. Soon I am dreaming of Connor and Instructor Fry, and the five other eyes watching us.
I wake up fast, and look around. There are no chains here, and HE isn’t here. My heart feels like it’s trying to escape me. I need to make sure Connor and Instructor Fry are here. I don’t know what is a dream and what isn’t a dream. I’m so confused. I open my door, and it’s getting light outside. I hear someone in the kitchen, so I try to walk quietly over that way. I pass the big table and open the kitchen door. Instructor Fry is standing in the kitchen wearing some strange short pants, and nothing else. His muscles have muscles. Even his stomach has muscles. I get the strange feeling in my stomach again and tell it in my head no sex! Instructor Fry looks up from what he is doing and looks at me.
“Uh shit, sorry if I woke you up, Connor and I were talking last night and he said he can’t really cook and has been ordering you food, I’m not the greatest at it, but I can do bacon and pancakes okay. If I would have known you were up, I would have put more clothes on.”
I can’t stop looking at all his muscles. My stomach makes that weird rumbly feeling again, and I look down at it. When I put my hand on it, I hear a voice in my head that sounds like “MINE.” But it sounds so far away. In my head I try to think to it like I do Connor. “Hello?” No sound comes back and my rumbly stomach stops. I look up at Instructor Fry and he is just looking at me. His eyes keep looking up and down at me, and I look down again and look at myself. I took off that shirt and didn’t put anything else on. He is standing here without a shirt on too, so I don’t see what the problem is.
“Farlen, I only have so much restraint and you wouldn’t be able to handle what it is I want to do to you, so I am going to need you to put some clothes on before I have you for breakfast. ”
I don’t understand why Connor and Instructor Fry act that way when I don’t have clothes on. I remember Connor saying it was killing him and hurry back to my room. I need a bath first, then clothes. I don’t want to kill them. I need to make sure I have clothes on before I leave my room, just like I need to make sure my pants are on the right way. I get in my bath and get clean. When I walk back into my room wrapped up in my towel, Connor is there.
“No, I not kill you today. Go, I get dressed.”
He laughs and leaves the room. As I am getting dressed, I hear knocking from far away. It doesn’t sound like it is on my door, but it sounds like it is close. I hear the outside door open and Connor talking to someone. I hurry and get dressed. All my pants and short pants are gone. Connor told me the dirty clothes will be washed and returned to me after I wear them. So I put on the strange short pants, but they don’t have anything in between them.
I walk out, looking for Connor. He’s supposed to help me put on my deodorant, so I don’t hurt myself. I don’t hear him, but I hear talking outside. It sounds like Connor and another male. I hear Instructor Fry still in the kitchen, so I go that way. Maybe he will help me. I open the kitchen door and he has clothes on, too. I liked looking at his muscles, even though it made my stomach feel funny again. He smiles when he sees me and looks at me up and down again. He smiles at me and walks towards me.
“Connor is outside talking to Instructor Payne right now, not sure what they are talking about but I have a feeling we will find out soon, now why don’t you go sit your cute little ass down and I will bring you some food?”
I take a big breath. It still feels strange to do it and focus on my words. “I can’t yet. Connor helps with deodorant, so I don’t hurt myself.”
He looks at me funny. “Show me what you mean.”
I lift my arm up and do what Connor told me to do. When I press it into my skin, it is taken from my hands really fast.
“Alright, I see why you need help. You really can’t feel how hard you are pressing it into your skin?” I shake my head at him. “Alright, here, let me help you, lift your arms up like you do for Connor.” As he gets closer to me and puts it on me, my stomach has that funny feeling again. He takes a big breath in through his nose and makes a funny noise. He hands me my deodorant.
“Alright, go put that up and go sit down. I’ll get you some food. Connor said you haven’t tried pancakes yet, so I have a lot of different toppings for them, but I have a feeling you’re going to love one of them.”
I smile at him, and my body does that strange thing where it moves all on its own, and I give him a big hug. He gives me a hug back. He isn’t as soft as Connor is. His body is harder. And there is something hard poking me in the stomach. I step back to try to see what was poking me, but Instructor Fry turns around really fast.
“Hurry up or you’ll be late for class today.”
I hurry and put my deodorant back. Not only does my stomach feel funny, but I feel hot. Not like when my face feels like it’s on fire, but I feel like my entire body has been inside the bathtub for a long time. I go back to the big table and sit down. Instructor Fry comes out with plates of food and sets them down, then goes back into the kitchen and brings out more food. Once the last plate is set down, Connor comes inside, and Instructor Payne follows behind him.
“Thank the Gods, I wanted to come check on you this morning to make sure you were okay. I also need to explain some of the shifter things to you before you get to class. You almost gave this old man a heart attack yesterday. And from now on, we are going to be doing something different from the rest of the class.” He sits down at the table next to Instructor Fry and they nod their heads at each other. Connor comes and sits down next to me and begins putting things on my plate. I smile up at him when he puts bacon on my plate. He points over to Instructor Payne, and I look over at him.
“Alright, so a few things Daniel and I talked about last night. You guys are going to need to try to load her up with as much protein as possible, as well as much calcium-rich foods you can. She may not like the taste of them, but with him upping how much healing he is going to do on her, the more her body can help him, the easier it will be for both of them. Also, she is going to start building muscles even if it is slow, the protein will help with that. Now, Farlen, Connor told me your shifter side has been a bit more active since your trip to the clinic.” I don’t know what that means, so I look over at Connor. “You’ve been rumbling a lot, and keep holding your stomach high up.”
I look back over at Instructor Payne. “This is natural, as your beast becomes more and more active. What we are worried about right now is trying to stop you from shifting. We don’t know what it will do to your body. And none of us want a repeat of yesterday. So today in class while I am teaching everyone how best to communicate with their beasts, I want you to try it too, but I don’t want you to try to coax yours to come out, I want you to tell yours that it isn’t safe yet, and it could hurt you okay?”
“Something in me could hurt me?” Instructor Payne looked at both Connor and Instructor Fry and looks back at me. “We aren’t sure what it could do, but with as much damage as your body has suffered and has never healed from, we don’t want to take the chance. I know Daniel has plans to hear your vocal cords before he starts on your scars, speaking of which, he asked me to remind you guys to let him know if you are okay with the student healers for that. But Farlen, around me, you don’t have to try to use your words, you can use head movement with me, and if I’m being dumb and don’t understand what you are trying to say you can hit me in the stomach or something to get my attention. I don’t want to strain them more than they already are.”
“She doesn’t like violence, or yelling. How about she crosses her arms and just sits down?”
“That could work. I have a daughter that does that when she doesn’t get her way and no one can figure out what exactly it is she wants.”
“One more thing before I go, Farlen. I want you to stay where I can see you at all times during shifter class. We don’t know what your beast is yet, and it not only could hurt you, but could hurt others if it wants to come out and play. I also want you to make sure you don’t get too close to any of the other students. Some of them don’t have the best control right now, and they may sense your beast and perceive you as a threat. I also brought your clothes back from your locker. I wasn’t sure if you had other shoes or not to wear today.”
I smile up at him. I like those shoes better than the ones with strings on them. I slip them on my feet and finish eating my food. There were pancakes with peanut butter. I smile at Instructor Fry. He makes good bacon.
I look over to Connor and focus on my words, “No more order bacon. Instrucktor Fry make all bacon.” All the men at the table laugh at that.
“Farlen.” Instructor Fry says. “Please, just call me Zachariah. You are my match.”
I try to say his name in my head, but it’s hard. I look at Connor and touch my head. I can’t say it even in my head, it’s hard to say.
He smiles at me. “Yes, I could see how Zachariah could be hard to say. Why don’t you just try it and see how it sounds?”
I shake my head. My face feels like it’s on fire again. Instructor Fry looks sad. I don’t like him looking sad. I look at Connor and he looks kind of sad, too.
“Zakkkaria?” They both look up at me and smile.
“That was a very good first try. If it makes it easier on your Farlen, you can just call me Rhi. It’s something my family calls me.”
I say it in my head that is a lot easier. “Rhi!” I say. It sounded just like it did in my head. He gives me a big smile that makes it hard to breathe. And I get that funny feeling low in my stomach again. Instructor Payne gets up and leaves through the front door fast. I look around at Connor and Rhi. I touch my head. Did I do something bad?
“No, sweet girl, you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe Instructor Payne just needed to stand up and walk around for a few minutes. Well, go brush your teeth and we will all head out for the day.” I nod and go brush my teeth. The toothpaste and the sticky stuff that was on my pancakes don’t taste good together. I head out of my room and Connor is standing by the outside door, waiting. I look around for Rhi, and he comes out of a door near mine. I smile at him and he takes my hand and gives it a hand hug.
“If you need anything today, gorgeous, you know where my classroom is. Just come get me, or text Connor. Once classes are through for the day, I’ll make sure my number is on your phone, so you can send me messages anytime.” He makes a sad kind of noise and gives me a big hug. “Please be careful today. I can’t lose you.”
I smile and put my head on his chest. I can hear his heart like I could Connors. It’s going so fast. I put my hand on it. I can feel it bump against my hand. Is he scared? My heart only does that when I am scared.
“Don’t be scared,” I tell him and try to give him as big of a hug as he gave me, but I can’t get my arms all the way around him. He lets me go, and I walk over to Connor. He gives me a hug, too. I try to put my arms all the way around him too, but I can’t. I need bigger arms, or they need to be smaller. Connor steps back and looks at me, then laughs. He laughs so hard he holds his stomach and bends over funny.
Rhi walks over to him and does the eyebrow thing again. He needs to show me how to do that. Connor stands up and takes a few deep breaths.
“Sweet girl, you don’t need longer arms to hug us, and the bigger we are, the better we are to protect you. Don’t worry about trying to get your arms all the way around us. Just every time you give us a hug back, try to put everything you are feeling inside into it.”
Before we walk out the door, Rhi grabs my sunglasses and puts them on my face. I smile at him. These must be new ones, and they aren’t as dark as the other ones. We step outside and it takes me a few minutes to get used to how much different it looks again. It hurts a little, but not too much. Instructor Payne is standing on the path. He sees us coming and nods to Rhi and Connor. They both give my hand a hand hug and let go of me. Instructor Payne walks over and looked at both of them. “I’ll protect her with my life, guys. She needs to show up to this alone, though, or they will eat her alive. She can’t show any weakness in front of them. They will think she is prey.”
Rhi nods and looks at Instructor Payne. “We are trusting you Tony, please don’t let it be out-of-place. Tell her everything she needs to know before she gets there. And keep me updated.” Instructor Payne nods to Rhi and to Connor and grabs my arm and pulls me with him.
“Alright Farlen, I know this is going to be hard for you to do, especially because you seem to smell of nothing but fear, but no matter what happens today, no matter what you see or hear, no one is going to hurt you. A lot of these guys like to use fear trying to get the weaker shifters to back down, to try to show dominance. You are going to be the only female in this class. Most women who are a predatory shifter tend not to be of the dangerous type. Their nurturing instincts usually suppress their desire to hurt. Again, I want you to know none of them will hurt you, even though they are going to want you to think they will. Some guys have some pretty wicked magic, but in my class they aren’t allowed to use it, so if you see them after class, just keep walking and get ahold of one of your guys. Make sure you find somewhere there are a lot of people and stay there until they come to get you.” I nod along with everything he says. I understand what he is saying, but how do I make myself not be afraid?
“How to not be afraid?” I ask him.
He blows out air from his mouth, and his lips make a funny sound.
“That is going to take years for you to master, and even then, I don’t think you can ever really get over that type of fear. But from what Connor has told me, you’ve seem to have come a long way since he met you. So just keep doing what you are doing, talking about what happened to you can help, if you put it into words and there are people there to help you through the fear, it makes it not seem so scary, especially if they are people you trust. But today, I want you to just focus on what I am going to tell you to do. I will handle most of the guys, and remember, stay where I can see you at all times, and don’t get too close to the guys.” I nod to him again.
“Alright, I want you to stand here, take deep breaths and count to ten five times. Then walk out onto the field. We are the only class out here on these days, and sometimes the class can go late into the day, depending on how everyone is doing and if people are struggling with what we are trying to do. When you come onto the field, stand far away from the guys. Don’t hide behind your hair. Find a spot in the trees in the distance and keep your eyes there. The entire time we stand there, okay?” I nod to him and he walks away. I start counting in my head. Making sure I take deep breaths, like he said. Once I get to ten five times, I walk out onto the field. There’s a strange tree far away, birds keep flying in and out of it, and that is the tree I look at as I walk out towards Instructor Payne. I can hear people close by on one of my sides, and I walk away from them.
“Alright assholes, line up. Today we have a new student, and yes, we have our first female dangerous shifter. Her beats looked me in the eye and told me it was going to eat me if I didn’t back up. So you’ve been warned boys, she likes her space and her beast isn’t afraid to come out and play if we don’t stay back. Now that you’re all forewarned, spread out and give yourselves room from each other. Boyle, what the fuck are you doing? Walking towards the dangerous female is not what I said to do.”
I hear some growling noises, and they get closer and closer to me, still I keep my eyes on the strange tree, even though I want to turn and see where the noise is coming from.
Instructor Payne is next to me. I can see him out of the side part of my eye. “I SAID EVERYONE SPREAD OUT AND LEAVE THE DANGEROUS FEMALE ALONE.” As he says it, it feels like someone is pressing on me, but not very hard. My stomach makes a strange rumbly noise again. My body does the strange thing and moves without me telling it to. I can’t stop what my body is doing. It grabs Instructor Payne and throws him across the field. He hits the ground hard and rolls over and looks at me. He walks over to me and when he gets in front of me, he lays down on the ground and rolls over on his back. I look around and all the men in the class are doing the same thing. The strange rumbly noise coming from me stops. Instructor Payne stands up, and he scratches his head.
“Sorry, Farlen, didn’t know why Boyle was heading your way, but he can be a nasty one and didn’t want him to cause some trouble. Shouldn’t have tried to Alpha Command you, when we don’t know what your beast is yet. Whatever it is, though, it could withstand my command, which not many have been able to do.”
He doesn’t seem mad that I threw him across the grass. So I smile up at him. My stomach makes the strange rumbly noise and a voice that sounds like me, but isn’t me, comes through my mouth.
“Remember what we said wolf, we will rip through these bindings and eat you.”
“Holy fuck.” Someone says. I look around at all the men on the ground. None of them have gotten up yet.
“Let us up, sir. We will behave. She’s fucking terrifying.”
“I’m not the one holding you all down. She is. Now shut the fuck up while I try to get her to lift her command.”
“Farlen, look at me.” I look up at him. “I hate these fucking sunglasses. I hope you are looking into my eyes. I need you to take a deep breath and feel for the rumbly noise you keep saying you feel. Let me know when you can feel it.” It takes me a minute, but I think I can feel where it comes from. It feels warm, whereas the rest of me feels really cold. I nod my head to him.
“Good, now, I need you to tell it to let them go. Don’t use your words, use your mind, tell it to let them go. You are not in danger. They will not hurt you. Every one of them has submitted to you, me included. We understand that you are the biggest predator here and will not question your dominance.”
I repeat what he is saying with my head, trying to tell it to the warm, rumbly part of me. When I tell it that everyone submitted to me, it feels like it curls up on itself and I think it’s sleeping. I look up at Instructor Payne and he is smiling at me.
“Amazing job it took me a hell of a lot longer than that to get it under control.”
I look behind him and all the males are starting to stand up. One of them is jumping around strangely. Instructor Payne looks over his shoulder at him. He looks back to me and shakes his head and walks back to where he was before.
“Oh man, that was fucking awesome. I can’t believe she’s even stronger than you, sir. She got the fucking asshole dragon to submit on his first try! She didn’t even have to beat his ass to get him to submit like you did. I think I am in love. Hi Scary Lady! My name is Xander, Xander Boyle.”
“Boyle?”
“Yes, sir?”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
The Boyle man finally stops talking but he won’t stop jumping around.
“Alright, now that we have established that Farlen here has bigger balls than the rest of us, let’s get back to the lesson. Spread out and make sure you give her distance. Now, we aren’t going for full shifts today. I want all of you to talk with your beasts and tell them to shift only one of your hands. Do not get distracted by your own thoughts while communicating with your beast. You are in charge. It answers to you, not the other way around. If you feel like it wants to put up a fight with you, I want you to withdraw your influence over it and have a seat. Now get started, all of you, while I get Farlen working on something else.”
He walks over to me and grabs my arm and takes me across the field from the others. I can still hear some of them talking, but I don’t think Instructor Payne can, because he nods his head at me.
“Alright, this should give us at least some privacy and space from them. What I want you to do is to sit down and get yourself comfortable. I want you to try to empty your head of all thoughts and ignore all the surrounding sounds. You will know if you do it right, because you should feel an immense amount of peace around you. This will help center you and help calm your beast down a bit. We may not be druids born of nature, but we are from nature as well. All our beasts roam the land in their wild forms. We are just blessed by the Gods to house the soul of one of them inside us. There is no time limit on this exercise. Just sit and try to do it. I will come over and get you when we are done for the day. Now I need to get back to these boys before they try some other stupid shit.”
I nod at him and sit down on the grass. It kind of makes me itchy where it touches my skin. I sit down and try to do as Instructor Payne says. It’s hard. I can still hear the males on the other side of the grass, and I hear what sounds like females in the trees behind me. Used to do something like this when HE would come down to cut into me. I would find a happy spot inside of me and stop feeling everything. It was warm and nice there. I search inside myself for that spot, wishing I could just let myself curl up in it. I don’t want to feel the itchy grass, or the eyes that are on me. I don’t want to hear the yelling or the voices on the other side of the field. I just want to be empty for a while.
I slip into my happy place. It’s warm here, and it reminds me of Connor and Rhi. They feel like my new happy place, a place I can go where no one will hurt me. Suddenly, my sunglasses are ripped off my face and the full sunlight hits my eyes. I can’t stop the scream that comes from my throat. I throw my face onto the ground to try to stop the pain of the sun in my eyes. I hear lots of feet running my way and I curl up on myself.
“Fuck, someone get her into the shade now! Her eyes are super fucking sensitive to the light.” I hear Instructor Payne yell.
“They fucked with one of us. They need to pay.” I hear a voice say.
I am picked up by warm arms. They remind me of Connor and I curl into it .
I feel hot breath on my ear, “It’s okay Scary Lady, I’m taking you to the shade. Just stay curled up a bit longer.”
“I SAID STAND THE FUCK DOWN DRACOKENNEDY,” I hear Instructor Payne yell.
“This class has never been so exciting before! Okay, Scary Lady, I’m going to set you down now. You’re in the shade. See if you can open your eyes.”
“Boyle, what the hell are you doing to her?” I hear Instructor Payne. He isn’t yelling, but he sounds closer now.
“She won’t open her eyes. I was trying to get her to open them.” The Boyle man says.
“Take a step back. I won’t be responsible if her beast lashes out at you. Okay Farlen, take a deep breath and listen to my voice. You are as deep into the shadows as Boyle could get you. I am not sure how dark your glasses are, but I need you to open your eyes so I can try to see if there is any damage.”
“I still see the sun with eyes closed.” I focus and say to him.
“Why does she sound like that, sir?”
“Boyle, not now, please. Okay, Farlen, that is sort of normal when you look at the sun. Usually it goes away after a few minutes, but I don’t exactly know how sensitive your eyes are. Try opening up one eye slowly. Alright good, you can see me now. Is the pain bad?” I shake my head at him. He looks weird, like there’s still the sun right behind him and it makes his body look kind of fuzzy.
“Okay, this eye looks alright, now open up the other eye. This one looks okay, too. I don’t see anything that looks like they are hurt. Do you want me to call Healer Daniel to see if he can help?” I shake my head at him. They hurt, but having them open in here it isn’t too bad.
“Wow, the Scary Lady has scary eyes too.” I look over to the Boyle man. He is standing right behind Instructor Payne. I look into his eyes and another set of eyes from my dreams has a face. His eyes are a deep brown, just like chocolate, but they have the little blue stars in them. He falls to his knees and pulls his head to the side, making it so his throat is sticking out to me .
“AH fuck. Well, that explains his reactions. Farlen, this is Xander Boyle, and if the reason he is reacting like this is the same reason I did almost the same fucking thing, then I’d like to introduce you to your third match.”