11. Mikey
Chapter 11
Mikey
The open road is ahead of me, the cool breeze is blowing in through the open window, and I’ve got my favorite rock and roll nursery rhymes pumping on the stereo.
I’m three hours into a delivery pick up for my crew, and I’m going to be able to stop at my favorite diner on the way home. Really, I couldn’t have asked for a better day’s work.
So why am I feeling so sad?
After Trent and me shared a magical early morning together at his place, I was expecting everything to fall perfectly into place for us.
As far as I was concerned, the sex was the best I’d ever had – and it wasn’t even a close call thing either!
Not only that, the way Trent and I fell asleep together all snuggled up under the cover as the sun rose was like something from one of the romance novels I love to read.
When we both woke up, everything was still totally cool and awesome too. We ate breakfast together and Trent even walked me back to my truck.
But then it was like something changed.
I still can’t put my finger on it.
First, Trent had an overnight surfing trip with Ranger. This was fine, because I knew that surfing was a big part of Trent’s life and totally respected that.
But just as Trent got back from his trip, I was given a last minute long-haul drive across country that actually took the best part of seventy-two hours to complete.
When I got home I was way too exhausted to hang out with Trent, and as it turned out he wasn’t even home anyway. Trent had gone on a business trip with Reece to look at some property that the pair of them were considering buying near Chase Lagoon.
So far, so frustrating, right?
We met for a coffee together a few days later, but both of us just seemed distracted. Trent had a surf exhibition he was taking part in later that week so he was conscious about getting enough practice in on the waves to do himself and his reputation justice.
Meanwhile, I knew that Xander was prepping a busy few days for me in terms of deliveries and also some site work so that the Tornados training facility could be signed off as complete and on time.
All in all, it meant that not only was mine and Trent’s coffee date a rushed affair, we couldn’t even make any concrete plans to meet later.
And all this was over a week ago now too…
‘Atty, I don’t want to say it out loud,’ I say, reaching out and stroking Att’s fluffy head. ‘But… maybe me and Trent just aren’t meant to be?’
I take a deep breath and try not to get too emotional.
After all, I’m driving a super-powerful truck and need to keep as focused as I possibly can. It’s not just my life at risk when I’m behind the wheel, it’s everyone else on the road too.
‘Okay, I think I need to pull over,’ I say, knowing that I’m coming up to a roadside layby.
As I ease on the break and take the truck offroad, I feel a slightly manic energy coming over me. All of my thoughts and feelings toward Trent are bubbling up and I’m finding it harder to think with a clear head.
As I turn the truck’s engine off, I immediately reach for my cell phone and begin tapping out a message to Trent…
MIKEY: Hey. I don’t know how to say this but I think maybe we need to think about things. It’s definitely not you, or me either. But… this just isn’t working, is it? Please don’t call. I don’t want a big conversation. I just… I need some time alone. I’m sorry.
I hit send and immediately turn my cell phone off and toss it into the rear seats behind me.
‘Was that the right thing to do?’ I say to Atty, a tear rolling down my eye. ‘I thought me and Trent might be forever, but…’
I try to slow my breathing down and stop and more tears from forming, but it’s a hopeless task.
I’m not sure if sending that message was the right option, or totally crazy. But I’ve done it now and I’m going to have to live with the consequences.
Trent is a good man, certainly one of the best I’ve ever met. He deserves a boy who can be there for him and give him all of his time. I just don’t see how I’ll ever be able to do that.
Trucking is a huge part of who I am – it’s what I’ve always wanted to do, and I can’t ever see myself not doing it.
Yuck , this sucks ass – and not in the good way.
But despite feeling like absolute crap, I know that I’ve still got a job to do. I’ve only lost a few minutes, and with a clear road ahead it shouldn’t be long before I’m powering ahead and making that time up again.
Yes, things may have gone wrong with Trent. That’s horrible and I know it’s going to take a while for me to get over it.
However that doesn’t mean I’m about to let Xander and the rest of the Construction Boys down.
No, I’m going to get my truck moving and put my heartache to one side.
As I pull out onto the road and put my foot to the floor, I wipe away one last tear and try to think of the future – namely making this delivery on time and proving to my fellow Littles that I’m the best truck driver a construction crew could dream of.
‘Usual, dear?’ Cheryl-Anne says as I walk up to the service counter of her delightful diner.
‘Yeah, sounds perfect,’ I reply, doing my best to sound as cheerful as I can.
The delivery collection went to plan and I was actually a half hour ahead of schedule by the end. So as far as work goes, everything is looking good. But of course there’s still a certain Daddy on my mind…
‘Don’t tell me, man trouble,’ Cheryl-Anne says, a knowing look on her face. ‘Well why don’t you just let me handle that.’
‘Huh?’ I reply, not entirely sure where Cheryl-Anne might be going with this.
The last thing I want right now is to be set up with the nearest Daddy for a blind date!
‘Don’t look so worried,’ Cheryl-Anne laughs. ‘I’m going to make you the tallest attack of maple syrup pancakes you’ve ever seen. Even a big boy like you might struggle to finish it. Now how about that for a challenge to take your mind away from what’s troubling you?’
I smile.
Cheryl-Anne is a saint, and I wouldn’t ever hear a word spoken against her. And as far her pancake stack challenge, I’m certainly up for it…
‘Bring it on,’ I say, a real smile coming over my face as I temporarily put the situation with Trent out of my mind. ‘I’ll grab my usual booth.’
With that, I walk over toward the booth and take a seat.
I unzip my backpack and let Atty peak out from the top.
This might have been the diner where I met Trent for the first time, but I’ve been coming here a lot longer than that – and I’m going to keep coming here for even longer, even if Trent is no longer part of my life.
As I’m waiting for Cheryl-Anne to bring over what promises to be a legendary pancake stack, I think back to all the years I spent as a teenager, not truly grasping who I was or what I was all about.
I realize that deep down, I’ve always known what I wanted for my life but it wasn’t until I met my friends at the Construction Boys that I was able to truly embrace who I was.
I take my cell phone out of my pocket.
The cell phone’s blacked-out screen stares back at me. I know that if I turn the phone on, there’s a good chance I’m going to have received a series of messages and voicemails from Trent – and right now, that’s the last thing I want to deal with.
On the other hand, it’s likely that Xander or Lane have been checking in on me and trying to make contact to ensure that everything is going as planned with the delivery.
‘I need to turn this thing on, don’t I Atty?’ I mutter, knowing full well that the answer is a resounding yes .
And within moments of turning my phone back on, I am confronted by a ton of messages – but not a single one of them is from Trent.
XANDER: Hey! What’s up? Tried calling but straight to voicemail. Laters, XoXo
LANE: Yo, Big Mikey! We’re trying to call, but I guess you’ve got no service? Let us know everything’s good. XoXoXo
XANDER: Mikey… is everything okay? Seriously, message or call when you get this. I called the supplier and he said you’d picked everything up okay. Hit me back, ASAP XoXoXo
‘I need to make this right,’ I say, glancing over to Cheryl-Anne and catching a glimpse of her completing the pancake stack. ‘And I need to do it before the yummy pancakes arrive.’
MIKEY: Hey guys, I’m SO sorry. I had a thing that I needed to deal with and… I’m okay now. Kinda. I’ll explain later. But the delivery is good, and I’m safe. We’ll definitely talk when I’m home. Sorry for causing any worry XoXoXoXo
I immediately feel better for having sent the message, and the last thing I ever wanted was to cause my fellow Littles and workmates to worry about me.
‘Here we go!’ Cheryl-Anne says, placing the huge stack of pancakes down on the table. ‘Hot. Sweet. And ready to be demolished. I think you’re going to enjoy this!’
‘I think I am,’ I reply. ‘Thank you, Cheryl-Anne.’
Cheryl-Anne smiles and walks back to the counter to serve a new customer. As for me, I’ve got a big stack of pancakes in front of me that’s big enough for two large appetites to share.
But sadly it’s just me, myself, and I.
And with no messages coming through from Trent, it looks like that’s the way it’s going to stay for the foreseeable future too…