Chapter Nineteen – Angel
The guys tried to talk to me, to apologize for what they’d said—which meant Deacon had blabbed about seeing me standing outside the door. But I didn’t want to talk to them right now. I didn’t want to hear whatever excuses they had.
I didn’t need excuses. Priest was allowed to say whatever he wanted. He was used to all the girls throwing themselves at him, so why should he look at me differently?
Why should any of them? I was an interloper, a stranger in their space. I was the face of the rebrand, a rebrand none of them particularly wanted. They weren’t obligated to like me, not as a friend and definitely not as more than that.
Ramona had said people like them liked popping cherries. She had to be wrong, because right now, I was pretty sure I disgusted Priest and Deacon, and I wasn’t even memorable enough for Bishop-slash-Cody to remember me.
God, I’d never felt more alone.
And my sister wanted me to date all three of them? Please.
I moped around in my room the rest of the night. I didn’t venture out, not even to get more to drink. I drank the water bottle I’d brought back with the pizza box; the remnants of my early dinner sat on the floor near the door. I showered once night fell, and then I climbed under the covers and doom scrolled.
I was doing a lot of that here. Scrolling all the sites, hoping to pull my mind away from my current situation. It got to the point where you saw nothing new on any social media site, but that didn’t stop you from scrolling and refreshing, over and over like a maniac.
And then, what would you know, somebody uploaded new pictures, and I stopped scrolling, clicking on the first picture to blow it up.
Alexa in her dorm room, with her new roomie. They were sitting on a futon beneath a bunk bed, smiling and laughing. Her roomie looked nice, and the smiles looked genuine. Some of the pictures involved them getting dressed up in clubbing attire, and the caption said it was time to see the sights.
Alexa was always the more outgoing one out of the two of us. That girl with her would’ve been me if my sister had never sent in a video of me singing. I could’ve been at college, rooming with my best friend and having the time of my life with our newfound freedom.
But instead I was here, sharing a suite with a group of guys who didn’t care about me in the slightest.
I shut off the screen, holding my phone against my chest as I stared at the dark ceiling. The wistfulness inside was too great; my eyes began to tear up. I wished I was there instead of here. Things might be stressful there, but that was nothing compared to how it was here. I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I wished I could go against the contract without being sued for breaking it.
I didn’t go back on my phone. I lay there, wrestling with my inner demons and the self-doubt, for what felt like an eternity. Eventually I rolled over and tried to sleep—it was about ten now—but sleep never came.
My mind wouldn’t shut off. My thoughts kept racing, circling back to how happy Alexa had looked without me, to what Priest had said and how Deacon had basically said the same thing earlier. The only guy who hadn’t said I disgusted him was the one that couldn’t remember me, like all that time we’d spent together as kids didn’t mean crap.
Needless to say, they were not good thoughts. They were dark and depressing and overwhelming, and I just felt so sad. So alone. I wished I could call my mom and talk to her, but she’d probably only remind me that I’d signed up for this when I’d put a pen to that contract.
It wasn’t right. I shouldn’t feel this way.
Sleep never came. It was about midnight when I started to feel restless. Lying in bed wasn’t doing anything, and I sure as heck didn’t want to go out in the living room. Right now, being in this shared suite with the guys was only a reminder of everything I was trying not to think about.
I needed to go for a walk.
Just a short little stroll to clear my head. I wouldn’t go far. Just around the block.
I grabbed my ID, just in case the worker in the lobby asked to see it when I came back. Both my phone and my ID went into the back pocket of my shorts, and then I tiptoed to my door. The last thing I wanted to do was wake anybody up.
As I poked my head into the hall, I heard not a single sound, which told me the guys were all in their respective rooms and I had a clear getaway.
I slipped on the shoes I’d left near the door, and then I was out. The bright light of the hall made me squint, and it didn’t take long for the elevator to open up for me. There was no one working inside, pressing buttons, and it was just me. I hit the ground level button and leaned my back on the cool metal wall as the doors shut and the elevator came to life.
The lobby of the Redborne was dead at this hour. The worker at the front desk looked up as I strolled by—an older gentleman. He gave me a smile, and then returned to doing whatever he was doing back there.
I pushed out into the night air, and I breathed in deeply, filling my lungs with the cool, late summer air. And then I started walking.
I had no destination in mind. I decided to walk around the block. After all, I didn’t know this city, so I didn’t know the good parts and the bad parts. Avoiding the areas where girls shouldn’t be walking alone at night was a good plan, and I thought that by sticking to the block where the Redborne was, I’d be safe.
The Redborne was a high-rise shelter for the rich and semi-famous in this city, anyway. I didn’t think I’d have any problems.
Even the air tasted weird here. Though the streets were pretty much empty due to the time, the air tasted stale, like there was too much pollution. Not enough trees around. Not enough nature.
God, I missed home. I missed Alexa and my mom and my stupid sister. I missed my own room. The only bright side of this was that I’d probably still miss my mom and my sister and my room even if I was rooming with Alexa.
I couldn’t believe Alexa had bonded with her roomie that much already. Was that why her messages had become more infrequent? She was too busy hanging out and bonding with her new best friend? My replacement.
My shoulders suddenly felt like they weighed a hundred pounds, and they slumped as I walked along, turning the corner to stay on the same block.
The wind blew around me, whipping my white hair every which way. I shivered, and at that exact moment, I happened to pass an alleyway between two tall buildings, neither of which were the Redborne.
Someone whistled at me, and at the same time, a man stepped out in front of me. “Well, well, look at you. What’s a pretty little thing doing by herself out so late?” He wore a t-shirt that I assumed used to be white—let’s just say it probably hadn’t been a clean white in a long, long time—along with jeans that were a size too big. A tattoo of something was on his skin, a stark contrast to the whiteness of his skin tone.
The only reason I stopped was because he literally appeared before me, and if I would’ve kept walking, I would’ve run into him. The last thing I wanted to do was answer his question—which I suspected was only a ploy anyway—so I took a step back and turned around to go the other way.
But in doing so I walked face-first into another man’s chest. This one wore a leather jacket, even though it definitely wasn’t cold enough for it.
The second man was about my height, small for a guy, but his brown hair was thin and greasy, and when he grinned at me, I saw he was missing some teeth. “Where you going, beautiful? My friend here and I just want to get to know you a little better.”
Behind me, the first guy said, “Yeah, plus, bad people like to come out at night, and a pretty thing like you would be too tasty to pass up.”
I tried to look around us, but I didn’t see anybody else. I’d been alone on the sidewalk, and then these two had jumped out from the alley, catching me unaware. My heart beat faster, and I tried to act tough and stern as I said, “Let me pass, or I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” the man in front of me smirked, a hideous expression on him. He had to be at least forty years old, maybe older. “Call the police? Honey, by the time they get here, we’ll be done.”
As he said that, the guy behind me grabbed me by the back of my neck and lugged me into the dark alleyway, where the streetlights couldn’t touch. I resisted, trying to pull away from him and scream, but the other guy clamped his hand over my mouth.
“Shh, pretty girl,” he cooed, flashing me his ugly smile. “It’ll all be over soon.” His buddy behind me let me go, and he pushed me against the wall of the alley. My back slammed against the stone wall, and I winced.
This was not at all how I thought my little walk would go. This would teach me to go anywhere by myself in this city after dark… assuming I, you know, survived this. I wouldn’t doubt they had a weapon of some kind on their person; a switchblade or even a small gun.
I wanted to kick them in the balls and scream, and then I wanted to run away from them and never look back, but as they loomed in front of me, I realized I was very much like a deer in headlights, frozen, shocked by sheer fright to stand still.
The first guy took a step toward me. Even the shadows couldn’t hide his true intentions with me. I only needed one guess as to what he wanted from me, and then when he was done, his friend would get a go.
The sound of another person strolling along was my saving grace, and I was about to call out for help when the owner of the footsteps entered the alleyway. The two guys whipped their heads in his direction, and I turned my head to watch as a big, shadowy figure approached us.
“There you are,” a familiar voice rang out, and I was too freaked I couldn’t even heave a sigh the moment I recognized the voice.
Priest, AKA the big, tattooed, intimidating guy you’d want on your side in a dark alley.
Priest positioned himself between me and my attackers, standing much taller than them. “Do we have a problem here, guys?”
I couldn’t see much around Priest’s figure, but it sounded like my attackers were so caught unaware that they didn’t know how to respond at first. Their weight shifted, and it was like the world came to a standstill.
Was Priest going to take on these two alone? I mean, he was a lot bigger than them, wider and taller and definitely stronger, but two against one… let’s just say I didn’t like those odds.
“I should warn you both,” Priest said, his voice taking on a sinister tone, the warning practically growled out, “I go to the gym every day with the hope that, one day, I’ll get to kick the asses of people like you. So why don’t you both run along now, hmm? Because I think it’s clear who’ll win this fight. Spoiler: it won’t be you.”
That did it. The two guys scurried away after tossing out a half-hearted apology—to Priest, not me. Of course not me, because to men like that, I was less than worthless. Just a body they could take advantage of in a dark alley.
Priest watched them disappear further down the alleyway, and then he took my hand in his and dragged me to the sidewalk. He turned, leading us back to the Redborne. “You shouldn’t have gone walking by yourself this late at night,” he said, his signature sarcasm nowhere to be found. In fact, he still had that throaty, guttural voice that gave me goosebumps.
“Obviously I didn’t think—” I was going to say I didn’t think I’d get jumped, but I didn’t have the chance to finish, because Priest whirled on me.
Still clutching my hand, he stood less than six inches away, his tall frame leaning over mine. We stood near a streetlight, so there was plenty of light to illuminate the anger on his face. “No, you didn’t think. You didn’t think at all. You could’ve gotten hurt, or worse.”
His expression was too intense, I had to look away. “Like you care. Maybe me being hurt would’ve been for the best. Then you could get someone else instead of me. I’m just a drag, right?” I didn’t know why I said any of that. It wasn’t like I wanted to get hurt, for those men to… do what they were about to do.
I guess I was still pissed and offended at what I’d heard Priest say earlier.
The hand around mine squeezed harder. “Don’t say that.”
“Why not? It’s true. It’s obvious I’m not one of the guys, and I never will be.” Softer, I said, “I’ll never be one of you.” My voice cracked when I said it, and again I had to look away. Holding his gray-eyed stare was a lot harder than you’d think.
I was seconds from telling Priest to let go of my hand—I didn’t need him to lead me to the Redborne like I was some petulant child who needed their hand held the entire time, but I didn’t get the chance to, because Priest pulled my arm and spun me around. Before I knew what he was doing, he had my back against the wall of the building we stood near, his body big enough to be all I could see as he boxed me in.
“You’re right,” he acknowledged, shadows dancing across his face as he let go of my hand… only so he could bring both of his hands to my face, cupping my cheeks in a smooth gesture that told me he was confident in what he was doing.
Warmth flooded into me from those hands, and his tall frame inched closer. His hands angled my head back. It was hard to have a single steady thought, but I managed to say, “What are you doing?” My heart raced, and not because of what almost happened in that alley.
“What I wanted to do since the very first moment I saw you,” Priest whispered back.
I couldn’t ask him what he meant by that, because in the next moment, without saying a single word more, I had my answer.
His mouth came down on mine, his tall figure hunching over to do it. My head was angled back against the stone of the building, his hands sweeping past my cheeks and tangling in my hair. His eyes had closed, but mine were wide open—mostly because I was shocked.
Shocked, confused, surprised. Any and all.
Priest was kissing me.
Priest was kissing me .
I didn’t even have time to figure out what to do. Priest pulled his mouth off mine as he murmured, “It’s better when you close your eyes and kiss back,” though not by much, because each word he spoke caused his lips to graze mine. “So close your eyes.” His breath bloomed hot across my face, and I panted, unable to catch my breath. “And follow my lead.”
Follow his…
He was going to kiss me again? After I’d stood there like a statue with my eyes wide open the entire time?
I listened to him, my eyelids fluttering shut as his mouth pressed against mine again. This time, I knew what to expect. This time I knew exactly what his mouth would feel like on mine, and it was all too easy to melt into him. His lips pushed and pulled against mine in a slow, agonizingly drawn-out kiss, igniting a fire deep within me that I’d never felt before.
Oh, it was nice. So nice. After giving in, after I started to kiss him back… let’s just say I understood why people liked kissing so much. There was an intimacy laced with every tug and pull, whether you were the one surrendering or the one claiming.
Priest’s lower half pressed harder against me, making me moan into the kiss. He didn’t seem to mind; he swallowed up the sound, kissing me harder. The fingers woven into my hair tugged, not hard enough to be painful, but enough to make a sweet contrast to the firmness of his lips on mine.
What were we doing?