Chapter Twenty-Three – Angel
It was crazy how much things had changed, and yet, when you got down to it, everything was still the same. My life, for example, had gone from zero to one hundred thanks to one random video my sister had sneakily taken while I was alone in my room, singing to myself. The odds were astronomical that I’d be chosen, that I’d be here today with my three boyfriends, but they weren’t zero.
And I was here with them, in a place that, even after all this time, didn’t look much different. A place that was still my home.
Our album was out. A few of the songs went viral, which helped boost our sales and streams. The label had gotten us a new manager, one that wasn’t nearly as involved in our day to day lives as Ramona had been. We left for our first show of the Double Feature tour next week.
And man, we were going everywhere. Like, so many places I never thought I’d see in my life. New cities, new states, coast to coast. Black Sacrament was officially back, and we were rocking it.
Enough time had passed. Our relationship wasn’t exactly new anymore, so I figured we should sit down with one person in particular and tell her the truth.
My mom.
It was a Thursday afternoon when we arrived at my mom’s house, and I led the charge, so to speak, heading up to the door and knocking. She’d taken the day off to meet with us. As soon as paychecks from the label started to come, I forwarded a lot of it to my mom, so she could quit her night job and not work so many hours during the day.
She’d sacrificed so much for me and Cleo, it was the least I could do. Even if she didn’t want the money, even if she told me over and over again that I should save it for my future, I wanted to do that for her.
Mom had answered, immediately hugged me, and then threw the guys a suspicious glance before inviting us in. Right now, we huddled together on the small couch in the living room, no room to, you know, breathe.
After living at the Redborne for so long, I’d forgotten how small everything was here. But it was nice and homey, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at my mom when she brought us each a can of pop.
She sat down on the old reclining chair near the TV. We’d had it my whole life. Nothing in this house was new, which I took to mean she was saving the money I was sending her for bills or just squirreling it away even though I told her not to do that.
“I will never get over your hair,” Mom remarked, leaning forward in the chair. She didn’t grab herself anything to drink, so her hands hung on her lap, fidgeting with the small holes in her jeans. Unlike my jeans, her holes were from being worn so much.
It wasn’t the first time she’d seen my hair. I came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas—just me, not the guys—so she’d seen it then. But she was used to my regular blond hair after a long eighteen years, so I could understand why it was still such a shock to her. I’d lost count of how many times I’d done a double-take in the mirror myself.
I coughed, suddenly realizing I hadn’t introduced Mom to any of the guys. “Uh, I guess I need to introduce you to…” I stopped myself from saying bandmates. They were more than that. So much more now. But I didn’t want to drop the whole boyfriend card just yet. Let’s get introductions out of the way, first.
“Priest, Bishop, and Deacon,” I said, motioning to the guys when I said their respective names. The guys each got up and shook my mom’s hand, a gesture she wasn’t expecting, because she just sat there, wide-eyed, saying it was good to meet them every time they did.
“You guys have an interesting stage persona,” she said, eyeing them up.
I knew what we looked like, all stuffed on the couch together. Priest and his V-neck shirt that showed off some of the tattoos on his chest, his messy blond hair that looked like he’d just rolled out of bed—a lie, because the man spent way too long in front of a mirror each morning.
Deacon with his long, thick black hair pulled back in a low ponytail, its lengths clean for today. He wore a thin leather jacket over a dark gray shirt, the kind of tight black pants that he probably had to wiggle to get into… and if you looked too hard at his crotch, you could definitely see the imprint of his dick.
But I was sure my mom wasn’t looking there. I, on the other hand, had to fight the urge.
And Bishop, who sat on my right, looking quite boyishly charming as he smiled at my mom. His brown hair had recently been cut short, so he still had that semi-dorky look all guys got right after a haircut.
We probably looked like quite the group. I’d bet anything Mom was wondering what we were all doing here on a random Thursday afternoon. Honestly, I probably should’ve told her sooner, but a part of me didn’t know how to do it. How to break the ice that her eldest daughter had three boyfriends.
We were going on tour next week, so I figured break the news to her now. Her first, and then introduce them to Cleo—because, yes, while I had told my now twelve-year-old sister that I was indeed dating the members of Black Sacrament, she hadn’t met them yet. I hadn’t told her we were coming today, and I’d told Mom to keep it a secret.
Cleo was going to die when she walked through the front door.
“Yeah,” Bishop was busy answering my mom. “We’re not like that off the stage, though. We’re actually—” He paused to glance at the others. “—pretty nice guys.” Bishop had been worried that my mom would recognize him, but she’d hardly seen him as a kid. Even when I was young, she was always working. It didn’t look like she knew who he was, so we’d let it be.
“That’s good,” my mom said, and then her blue eyes fixated on me, wordlessly asking me what the hell was going on here. Why was I here, dragging my three bandmates along, out of the blue?
Well, I knew what my excuse was, besides the whole boyfriend thing, at least. I took a sip from my pop before saying, “The label, and the guys, want me to stay with them. Permanently join Black Sacrament.” It wasn’t so much news to any of us; we’d known for a while now, but that was, again, something I hadn’t relayed to my mom.
I just… I didn’t know. It felt like something that was better said in person, kind of like, Hey, Mom, these are my three boyfriends.
Mom picked up on what I wasn’t saying: “And you want to stay.” When I nodded, she went on, “That’s so great, honey. I’m glad you found something you love. Have you looked into online schools? Maybe you could get your degree while you’re with the band?”
My mom was unfortunately stuck in the old-school mindset when it came to college. She thought everyone who went to college got a good job and were, generally, better off in life. Maybe that was true when she was growing up, maybe she was too busy being pregnant and forced to work to support me and Cleo after our dad up and left, but now…
Well, college didn’t automatically mean anything now. Everyone was struggling, and most people were stuck in jobs they hated. That was one reason why I wanted to stay with Black Sacrament forever; I loved doing it. I loved the guys. I had so much fun being on stage performing. It really was in my blood now, and that rush you got when the audience first cheered and screamed for you… let’s just say the closest thing to it was that first tall hill on a roller coaster.
“Maybe after the Double Feature tour’s finished,” I said.
“It’s too bad you won’t be around for the summer. I’m sure Alexa is dying to hang out with you,” my mom remarked.
“Yeah, I know.” I didn’t have time to see her, but I planned on making time after the tour, taking some time off and going to visit her in the fall, maybe stay a few days with her in her dorm room. I’d seen her around the holidays, and we’d pretty much stayed up all night, catching up.
Talking on the phone versus hanging out in your bedroom just wasn’t the same. It had taken a lot of bribes of candy to get Alexa to keep the secret of my multiple boyfriends from my mom, and she was still dying to know who they were.
I wanted to tell her, but I was still locked in my contract with the record label. I wanted to stay with Black Sacrament, but that was something I’d seek to change. I wanted to be able to tell a few people, like Alexa. If I asked her to keep it a secret, she would. She might ask for sugary bribes every now and then, but something like that? She’d never blab to the world.
A silence settled over the room, and I could practically feel the guys staring at me. All three of them. Inside my chest, my heart pumped wildly. You’d think I was about to give some earth-shattering news or something with how nervous I felt.
It was my mom. She was cool. I just didn’t know how she’d handle the whole multiple boyfriends thing. It wasn’t something many people had experience with.
Sheesh. No wonder Cleo wanted me to break ground first.
“Mom, there’s something I have to tell you,” I started slowly, my eyes on the can of pop in my hands.
My mom groaned and leaned forward, burying her face in her hands. “I knew it.”
My eyes flicked to her. “You… you knew it?” I felt dumb repeating what she’d said, but it was all I could say as I stared at her hunched over figure on the old recliner by the TV. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I—I guess I just didn’t know how to break the news.”
“It’s okay. We can do this. If you’re dead set on staying with the band then I’ll… I’ll find a job in the city. Cleo will hate to move, at first, but I’m sure she’d love to be closer to you—” As my mom rattled off completely random things, the guys and I exchanged glances.
“Uh, Mom, what are you talking about?” I asked.
The way she looked at me would’ve made me cringe if I knew what she was thinking.
And then she said it. She just came out and said it like it wasn’t a big deal and we could handle anything life threw at us: “You’re pregnant.”
My mouth dropped open when she said that, and no words came out of me. My mom thought the only reason I was here was because I was pregnant? Oh, God. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This was mortifying, embarrassing, and completely wrong.
“Uh,” Priest spoke, “she’s not—”
“Yeah,” Bishop said. “I mean, no, she’s not…”
Deacon coughed and asked, “What makes you think she’s pregnant?”
My mom stared at me. “Why else would you want to meet today? And bring these three? One of them is the father, isn’t he?” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, visibly working to calm herself down. “I knew something like this would happen—”
“Mom,” I cut in before she could say anything else about me being pregnant. I still had my IUD, but it wasn’t worth jinxing it. “I’m not pregnant.” Once the words were out there, the tension in the air dissipated.
She leaned back in her seat, still eyeing me up like she thought I was lying. “You’re not?”
“No,” I quickly said. “I’m not! That’s not why we… we’re not here to announce a pregnancy.” Even saying that last word made my cheeks burn. I wasn’t sure how the heck a pregnancy would work when the father could be any of the guys next to me. Plus, I so wasn’t ready to be a mom just yet.
“Oh, well, that’s good. Forget everything I said, in that case.” Mom smiled, as if it was all forgotten, just like that. And to her, I supposed, it was that easy, because the last thing she wanted to think about was becoming a grandmother.
I cleared my throat before saying, “There is something else, though—and I need you to promise me you’ll stay calm and try to hear me out.”
My mom blinked at me. “But you’re not pregnant?” When I shook my head no, she let out a heavy sigh and said, “Then whatever it is, I can handle it. Lay it on me.”
“Well, um,” I paused, trying to find the right words to say, “we’re… together.”
I wanted to hit myself. We’re together? That was the stupidest way I could’ve said it .
We’re together. Well, duh, of course we were together. Together here, together in a band, together everywhere.
“I can see that,” Mom said.
“No, I mean… we’re… uh.” For some reason, the words just wouldn’t come out. I glanced at the guys, psychically asking for help. Maybe one of them could figure out a better way to say it.
Priest scooted forward on the couch, his ass barely on the cushion. He looked like he either wanted to run away or fall to his knees before my mom and promise her he would take great care of me.
Oh, boy. This should be good.
“Angel’s Mom,” Priest started, holding up a hand to his own chest, “I, along with my friends here—” He gestured to Bishop and Deacon. “—are in a serious, committed relationship with your lovely daughter. We take good care of her, we’re faithful to her, we pretty much worship her and the ground she walks on—”
Bishop must’ve sensed he would keep going on, because he cut in, “What Priest is saying, in way too many words, is—”
But Bishop didn’t get to finish, because Priest blurted out, “We’re sleeping with your daughter. Seeing, I mean. We’re seeing your daughter. Together. Sometimes all at once. Sometimes not. Sometimes there’s just two.” I think he said all that in a single breath, too.
Bishop reached over and smacked Priest’s arm, which stopped him from continuing to ramble, but the damage was done, and I was absolutely mortified. Heat flushed my face, and I had to bury my entire face in my hands, give myself a protective shield from the stupefied look my mom was giving me.
Why did Priest have to go and say all that? Wasn’t he supposed to be the cool and charming one? That was just way too much, all at once. A lot of things my mom didn’t need to know or hear. Ever.
I peeked at Priest through my fingers and found him looking at me, apologetic. At least he realized he’d screwed up. How I wished I could go back in time and press the mute button on him, get him to shut the hell up before he said something we’d all regret.
But it was too late for that now.
“Oh,” my mom said, sitting straighter in her chair. “ Oh . I see. That’s… definitely not what I was expecting.” I couldn’t look at her, not straight-out, anyway, but even with my peripherals, I could see the new way she was taking us all in. “You’re all together. This isn’t some joke?”
Priest opened his mouth to say more, but seeing as how he’d said enough, I shot him a glare to shut him up. Bishop was the one who said, “It’s not a joke. We’re together, the four of us, and like Priest not-so-eloquently said, we are committed.”
A minute passed before she asked, “How long?”
I couldn’t hide behind my hands forever, so I lowered them to my knees and rubbed my palms against my jeans. So sweaty all of a sudden. Go figure. “A while. I’m… I’m so rry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just, I didn’t know how to, or how you’d take it. It’s not exactly normal.”
“No, it’s not,” she admitted. Thankfully, she seemed to be ignoring everything Priest had blurted out—that was good for all our sakes. “And I don’t really understand it, but, I guess, if you’re happy, then I’m happy, too. I’m your mother, honey, I’ll love you even if you bring home ten boyfriends.”
“Ten?” Priest quipped. “Whoa. Hold up. Where are these other seven guys coming from? We should get a vote, don’t you think?” In this case, his sarcasm was not appreciated.
My mom was going to say more, but right then, the sound of a school bus stopping in front of our house filled the air, so she got up and said, “That’ll be Cleo.” She went to the front door, opening it before Cleo reached it.
Introducing Cleo to them would be ten times easier than it was telling my mom… provided Priest didn’t say anything else stupid.
I overheard my mom telling Cleo I was here, and even though she was outside, I heard my sister squeal when our mom said I’d brought company. I glanced at the guys, willing them strength. I’d warned them about Cleo. We’d see if they were prepared for her rambunctious craziness.
Cleo was practically screaming by the time she raced through the front door. Her backpack fell onto the ground, and she darted around the couch, her light blue eyes comically wide as she took us all in—okay, mostly the guys, since I was her boring sister.
“Oh, my God!” she squealed. “Oh. My. God. I can’t believe you guys are here. I can’t believe it!” She brought her hands to the side of her head, tugging at her dirty blond hair. And then, without a warning, she body-slammed the guys. Like, full out ran to the couch and threw herself on top of them—and me.
And, the poor guys, they weren’t expecting it, so they all fell back with the added weight of my twelve-year-old sister on top of them, her limbs splaying every which way.
“Cleo,” I hissed, working to push her off. “You can’t crawl onto my boyfriends like that.” Get it out there, in the open, so Cleo could know everyone’s on the same page. “Especially now, since it’s the first time you’re meeting them.”
Cleo’s feet landed on the ground in front of the couch, and she straightened herself up, her eyes bugging out of her head when she whipped it in my direction. “Your boyfriends,” she repeated the words as if saying them for the first time, in absolute awe.
A moment passed. She let out a high-pitched squeal that hurt my ears. She also clapped, and then giggled as she glanced toward our mom. “I knew it! Didn’t I tell you?”
Mom stood by the door, holding it open. “Cleo, could you take the guys outside for a bit? I want to talk to your sister.”
The prospect of being alone with Black Sacrament was too much for her to handle. Cleo visibly swooned. I was starting to think my sister had a little crush on my boyfriends. She was still young enough for it to be cute, but let’s just say once she got older, she better have her own boyfriends picked out, because I wasn’t going to let her have mine.
No, these guys were mine, and they would always be mine.
The guys got up and wandered after Cleo. My mom held the door open for them, and then, once they were all outside, she shut it and turned to me. “You’re really seeing the three of them?” She wandered to the couch, slow to take a seat beside me. The guys had left their pops on the coffee table, and I was slow in dragging my stare off the metal cans, to my mom’s face.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“They didn’t pressure you into anything?”
“No. They’re good guys. The whole demon thing is just for the stage.”
“And you’re happy?”
Unable to fight the smile on my face, I nodded once. “I am.”
She sighed and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t shocked. I mean, you’ve never had a boyfriend in your life before, and now suddenly you have three of them. Combine that with everything else that’s going on, and it must be exciting… bu t also scary. You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Call me anytime, just to talk? Even if I’m dead asleep, if I see it’s you, I’ll wake my ass up and answer. I’m your mom, Mags. I’m always here for you.”
“I know.”
Finally, my mom released me from the hug. “Please tell me you haven’t been seeing them since that onstage kiss. That was, what, seven months ago? I hope you wouldn’t keep something like this from me for that long.”
“Uh, no, it hasn’t been that long.” Not since the kiss, but honestly, after that onstage kiss, things had spiraled so fast I didn’t know what was up and what was down for a while there.
“Good. Now, you’re using protection, right? It’s hard enough with one guy. I can’t imagine three—”
My face burned. “Mom!”