Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
N ash tightened the last screw on the ceiling fan, securing it in place. He stepped back to admire his handiwork, but the satisfaction was short-lived as he realized he’d need to knock on Jenna’s door again to re-enter her cottage and restore the electricity. The awkwardness between them gnawed at him.
And what was with her on-again, off-again decision on tearing down the wall between the living room and the kitchen? Was she just determined to keep him off balance?
He’d initially believed that Jenna was a straightforward, what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of woman. But now, he questioned his judgment. How could he have been so wrong about her? The realization stung, and he felt like a knucklehead for allowing himself to be fooled.
He sighed, gathered his tools, and knocked on the door again. She answered without saying a word, just stepping aside for him. He went and threw the circuit and came back to the door. She was still standing there and he could have sworn for a fleeting moment he saw a sad look lingering in those brown eyes of hers. The eyes that now haunted him.
Buck up, buddy.
“Thanks. I’ll get out of your way.” He stepped outside and gave her one last look as she closed the door behind him. Suddenly he couldn’t bear to be here, at her cottage, near her. What a chump he’d been to fall for her.
He needed to clear his head and come to terms with the fact that whatever connection he thought they had was nothing more than an illusion. As he made his way back to his truck, he couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment and regret that settled in his chest.
He decided to go grab lunch at Beverly’s before the cafe closed. Anything to escape the tension he felt when he was near Jenna.
He walked into Coastal Coffee as the lunch crowd was dying down. The cool interior a welcome relief from the oppressive heat outside. He took a table and Beverly walked up, smiling. “Two times in one day.”
“Guess it’s your lucky day,” he replied, his attempt at humor falling flat.
“So Maxine was telling me about what you found in those letters from Jenna’s cottage. So your great-uncle—or was it two or three greats—was involved somehow?”
He frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“That Milton guy in the letters. The one who was the go-between. He was your relative, right? And then he lost his job because of it?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He narrowed his eyes.
“You don’t? Maxine said that Jenna and Dale discovered his identity.”
“She hasn’t said a word to me.” His jaw clenched, the betrayal stinging more than he cared to admit. “You know what? I’ve changed my mind. Not hungry.” Without another word, he turned on his heel and stalked out of the coffee shop, his anger simmering just beneath the surface as he tried to make sense of this new revelation.
Questions swirled in his mind as he walked, his pace quickening with each step. Why hadn’t Jenna told him about this connection? The thought of her keeping secrets, especially ones that involved his own family history, left a bitter taste in his mouth. He needed answers, and he needed them now.
How could Jenna have kept this from him? She hadn’t even mentioned a lighthouse keeper or that the man was his relative. How could she find out all this and not say a word to him? He’d been right. She’d been keeping secrets from him. But why?
Only one way to find out. He drove back to her cottage, his truck tires crushing the shells on the drive. He leapt out of the truck and, in three long strides, crossed the distance to the porch. He bounded up the stairs, hardly noticing the ceiling fan now making lazy circles above him.
He rapped on the door. Then rapped again—almost pounding. She opened the door, her eyes wide with surprise. “I thought you’d left for the day.”
“I had. I’m back. I need answers.”
“About what?”
“Two words. Milton Carlisle.”
She flinched. “Who?”
“My great-uncle.” He pinned her with a hard stare. “Don’t try and pretend. You didn’t even tell me? That the guy acting as the courier was my relative? Did you know I’m living in a house that used to be in his part of the family? I don’t understand why you’d keep this a secret from me. I didn’t even know that there was a lighthouse keeper involved in this.”
His anger simmered as he struggled to understand Jenna’s motives. Why did women always seem to deceive him? His jaw clenched as he fought to keep his emotions in check.
“I… found out in the last letter.” Her voice was barely audible.
“So you hid all this from me? Is it too much to just tell the truth?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to reel in his anger. Why did he always seem to find women who lied to him? Hid things from him. The familiar sting of betrayal pierced through him, his heart hardening in his chest. Why was he always letting women make a fool of him?
“I… I just wanted to let it all drop.” Her eyes filled with uncertainty. “It wasn’t mine to look into. I thought I was protecting you. Your family. Some secrets are best left in the past, like Miss Eleanor told me.”
“So you decided not to tell me anything about it? To lie to me?”
She stepped back. To his surprise, her eyes filled with tears, though she valiantly tried to hold them back. “I… I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely a whisper, and thick with emotion. She turned away, but not before he saw one lone tear trail down her cheek.
And just like that, his hardened heart cracked. He reached out and took her arm, stopping her. “Jenna… you’re crying. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She slashed her hand across her cheek, wiping away the tear. She turned to him. “I was trying to do the right thing,” she said, her voice soft and broken. “I wanted to just let it all drop. I wish we’d never found those stupid letters.” Her voice splintered.
“I don’t understand.” He shook his head, confused at her comments. “We could have looked into this together. After all, he is my relative.”
“But what if we find out something bad? Something that they tried to keep hidden? Or what… what if we only find out part of the truth?”
He frowned. “Part of it?”
“Yes, like last time.”
He had to strain to even hear her. “What last time?”
“The reason I came to Magnolia. The reason I gave up investigative reporting. The reason I vowed never to get involved with investigating things again. I can’t ruin anyone else’s life.”
Instinctively, he reached out and took her hand in his. “Jenna, talk to me,” he urged softly. “Explain why you’re so upset.”
She lifted her gaze to meet his, and he found himself lost in the depths of her eyes, now shimmering with unshed tears. “I got assigned an investigation. It was looking into this man who was under investigation. I found evidence of fraud and he was arrested and convicted. He swore he was innocent.” She looked away for a moment. “I was there in the courtroom when they read his conviction. He looked directly at me with so much pain in his eyes.”
“But why was this your fault if you were just doing your job and found the proof of his guilt?”
“Because he wasn’t guilty. And in my heart, I believed him when he said he was innocent. But instead of digging deeper, my boss sent me on to investigate something else. And the man went to jail for two years.” Tears flowed down her cheeks now. “He missed the birth of his daughter. His first child. And the first two years of her life.”
Seeing the pain etched across her features, he didn’t press and waited for her to continue.
“Then new evidence was found—evidence I should have found if I’d done my investigating properly—and his conviction was overturned. But that doesn’t erase the fact I took away two years of his life.”
As her words hung in the air between them, Nash felt a deep ache in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and comfort her, but he held back, unsure of how she would react. “Jenna, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for him. And what I did to him.”
“Jenna, you can’t keep punishing yourself for something that happened years ago,” he said softly, his voice filled with compassion. “You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. It’s not your fault that new evidence came to light later.”
She shook her head, her shoulders slumping as if the burden was too heavy to bear. “But I should have trusted my instincts, Nash. I should have dug deeper, fought harder for the truth. Instead, I just moved on to the next case, and an innocent man lost two years of his life because of me.”
“I wish you would have told me all of this. You didn’t need to keep it a secret from me.”
“I’m just… ashamed of my part in it all. And my responsibility in ruining the man’s life.”
Nash reached out and gently brushed away a stray tear from her cheek, his fingertips lingering for a moment on her soft skin. “You can’t change the past, Jenna, but you can learn from it and use it to make a difference in the future. You have a gift for uncovering the truth, and that’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.”
She looked up at him, her eyes searching his for a glimmer of hope. “Do you really believe that?”
He nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I do. And I believe in you, Jenna. You’re a good person with a kind heart, and you deserve to be happy. Don’t let the mistakes of the past rob you of that.”
She took a deep, shuddering breath, and he could see the tension slowly easing from her body. “Thank you, Nash. For listening.”
“I’m sure what happened is hard to bear. We all often have things we’d like to go back and change. Things we did or didn’t do. But… we have to move on with our lives.”
“That’s what Marly says. That I need to forgive myself. But I don’t think I ever will.”
“Maybe not, but you do need to learn to live with it and go on living your life.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all this from the beginning.”
“I knew you were keeping something from me. I could tell.” He let out a long sigh. “And that is why I was so angry with you. I just can’t have someone lying to me.”
“I was trying to protect you.”
“I see that now, but all I could see before was you keeping something from me.” He looked away for a moment, then back to her. “You see, I dated this woman. Rhonda. We dated a long time. And she kept things from me. Like… like she was seeing someone else.”
“I’m sorry.” She reached out and touched his arm. “That must have been hard.”
He shrugged, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “It was. And it made me wary of anyone who seemed to be hiding something. And she was always spending money. And I was so impressed when you were so intent on staying with your budget. Until… you all of a sudden decided you wanted to tear down the wall, no matter the cost.”
“So that’s why you were acting so strange about that.” She gave him a weak smile. “I just said that I wanted to take out the wall so we’d change the subject. I still don’t have the money to spend on it.” She shrugged. “And I still like my budgets.” She smiled, stronger this time.
He pulled her into his arms, stroking her back, holding her close. He finally pulled back and looked directly into her eyes. “I understand why you kept this from me, but can you promise me one thing? Please don’t keep things from me again. Just… tell me. I can’t stand secrets and half-truths.”
“I won’t keep things from you again.” She met his gaze. “I promise.”
“Good. And to tell the truth, since Milton is my relative, I’m a bit curious now. How about if we look into all of this together?”
“I don’t think I should. What if we find out something you don’t want to know?”
“I’ll take responsibility for that. I’d like to see if we can find out more.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.” He nodded and pulled her into his arms again, where she belonged.
She leaned into him. “I’ve missed you.”
He tilted her face up and leaned down and kissed her. “I’ve missed you too.”
As they stood there, holding each other, Nash realized he would do whatever it took to help Jenna find the peace and forgiveness she so desperately needed. Because in that moment, he realized that his feelings for her ran deeper than he had ever imagined possible.