Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
The truck is quiet as we drive home from Theo’s mom’s, and a warm feeling lingers in my chest. Theo’s family is so welcoming and easy to get along with, I think it’s impossible not to have a good time with them. They’ve invited me in as if I’m one of their own, and tonight I felt like I truly belonged there. Even with the nerves that twisted inside me before we arrived, since I was now walking into their safe family space sharing a secret with Theo. And even though I still don’t know what this all means for us, there wasn’t one moment I felt out of place or uncomfortable while we were there.
But now, the storm is creeping back in. I once again feel at the mercy of angry winds as the wave feels like it’s about to crash and pull me back underwater.
Because his family reminds me of mine.
Guilt rises as Theo pulls into the driveway, and I keep my eyes out the window to watch the trees pass by in a blur. I haven’t talked to my family and can’t even bring myself to turn on my phone again to see if Mom texted me back. Yet here I am, having dinners with someone else’s family, pretending like I’m whole.
I miss them.
A lot.
“Hey.”
Theo’s voice breaks through the silence, and I blink as I turn to look at him. The truck is parked now, and he’s watching me with a furrowed brow and concern etched in his features.
“Sorry,” I mumble, rubbing my hand over my face.
“What’s up?” he asks cautiously.
I blow out a breath and shake my head, letting my gaze drift out the window again as my chest tightens. My mind whirls as I try to find the words to express what it is I’m feeling, but it’s all just a jumbled mess.
“Your family is great,” I say eventually, desperately trying to hold onto the last bit of warmth and happiness from the evening. The comforting smell of leftovers Cynthia sent with us fills the truck, but it also makes the ache in my chest grow.
Theo stays quiet as memories of my own family flash through my mind. Nick and both our parents sitting around the dinner table, laughing, talking, and taking life for granted. It hurts, but there’s something else there too. Something that feels like comfort, even though it’s wrapped in loss and pain.
“Mine is too,” I say quietly before I turn to meet his gaze.
His eyes are soft and steady as he watches me in the darkness, like he knows there’s more under the surface. And I want to let him in. I tried yesterday, when the grief was all consuming… but I couldn’t get the words out. I’m not brave enough to say it yet. But even just being here with him, looking into his eyes… it calms the storm inside me and pulls me out of the water.
My hand moves before my mind can catch up, reaching across the console to grasp the side of his face. His warm skin beneath my fingers reignites the warmth inside me, and I lean in to press my lips to his. His hand lifts to lightly hold my arm as I keep him here against me, and everything else falls away. The guilt, the pain… it all moves into the distance, muted by the simple fact that he’s here with me, and feels like home in a way I didn’t expect.
When I pull back and look into his eyes, he smiles softly.
“Let’s go in,” he says.
I nod, grateful as always that he never asks for more than I can give. He just… gets it.
As we step into the house, Miss Bobber greets us at the door and I smile down at her.
“Hey, little one,” I murmur, bending down to lift her into my arms. She purrs as she rubs her head against my nose, her soft fur warm against my skin as I follow Theo into the kitchen.
He opens the fridge to put the leftovers inside, but one of the containers falls and lands on the floor with a loud thud. Miss Bobber startles in my arms, her purring coming to an abrupt stop as her wide eyes lock on Theo.
“Shit,” he murmurs, bending down to pick up the fallen container, inspecting it to make sure it’s ok. Once he’s satisfied and puts it in the fridge with the others, he closes the door and turns towards me.
I watch him, brow furrowed as I hold Miss Bobber tight against my chest. He looks down at her in my arms, then up at me in confusion.
“You scared her,” I say, instinctually tightening my hold on her.
He presses his lips together to hold back a smile as he looks down at her again. “I didn’t mean to.” Then he steps forward, lifting his hand to gently scratch behind her ears. His gaze softens as it sweeps over her, like he’s checking to make sure she really is ok. He smiles when her purring starts back up again. “You’re alright.”
I watch him as he continues to scratch her ear, and her purrs vibrate against my chest. And I can’t help but take a moment to appreciate him. So thoughtful, gentle, and always making sure everyone around him is alright.
His eyes lift to meet mine and the corner of his lips tilt up in a soft smile. “I need to get to bed. You coming?”
My eyes flick between his as my heart skips a beat. And I just nod.
I set Miss Bobber down and she trots over to her food dish, settling in for a snack before her usual routine of playtime before she curls up in one of our beds.
Well, I guess now it’s just one bed.
We each head to our bathrooms, and I watch Miss Bobber bat her toy mouse around the living room while I brush my teeth. I chuckle at the sounds of her scurrying around and chasing her toys as I turn off the lights and head upstairs. Theo is still in his bathroom, and the soft sounds of running water fill the quiet space as I pull off my shirt, slip out of my jeans, and sit on the edge of his bed. The lamp on the bedside table casts a soft golden light over the room, and as I look around, I realize just how comfortable this whole thing feels. This is only the third night we’ve spent together, and the second in Theo’s room. But in a way, it almost feels like it’s always been like this, and exactly how it’s supposed to be.
Theo steps out of the bathroom, pulling off his shirt as he heads towards his dresser on the other side of the room. My eyes track his movement, watching the hard lines of his muscles as he slides his jeans down over his hips and tosses them in the hamper, and the way his bicep flexes as he runs his fingers through his hair. Until Theo, I’ve never looked at a guy like this before. But now that I’ve given in to those urges I’ve been feeling around him… I can’t seem to stop.
As he turns towards the bed, I drag my eyes up his abs and chest to meet his. He’s standing before me in just his boxers, and this is the first time I get to really see him and take him in, free of the obstructing shadows from the dim firelight.
A breath escapes me as I push to my feet and slowly cross the room, my gaze falling once again to his chest. My hand lifts when I reach him, my fingers lightly tracing the freckles scattered over his shoulders. He exhales as I drag my fingers up his neck and rub my thumb over his freckled cheekbone.
He watches me quietly for a moment until he takes my hand in his, holding it between us as his fingers trace the tattoos Isla coloured in earlier this evening. A smile tugs at his lips, then he lifts his gaze and leans in, pressing his mouth to mine. His kiss is soft, yet laced with a quiet hunger that I find myself desperate to meet. I push my tongue past his lips, and he walks me backwards, guiding me until the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed. He gently pushes me onto my back, and my heart riots as he crawls over me, finding my lips again. And before long, I’m clawing at his back and pulling him closer to me as the need in us only grows.
My hips press into his, and the feeling of his hard cock against mine sends a thrill straight through me. He lets out a soft moan against my lips as I grind into him and that’s all the encouragement I need to give him even more. My hands trail down his back and over his ass, gripping him tight to hold him against me as I roll my hips again. The stark contrast in the feeling of his hard cock and the soft fabric of my boxers is so fucking good, all I can do is release a breath and give in as he takes over. He kisses down my neck as he grinds his cock against mine, and I tilt my head back with a moan.
But I need more.
I roll him over so I’m on top of him, and his arms wrap around me as I rock my hips into his. We’re both so fucking hard, and this feels so good we’re panting and moaning as we fall into a heated, messy kiss while grinding against each other.
Eventually, I push myself back and straddle his hips, looking down at his flushed face. His glassy eyes drop to my dick in my boxers, and he starts to reach for it. But I grab his wrist to stop him.
Theo furrows his brow as he lifts his eyes to me again, but I just give him a little smirk. As I nudge his knees apart so I can settle between them, the tension in him quickly fades away, and his eyes fill with anticipation.
But as I kneel between his legs and look down at his hard cock in his boxers, nerves flutter in my stomach. He was so good at this for his first time. And I need to be too. Because I want to do this for him, and make him feel good.
I try to calm my racing heart as I grasp the waistband of his boxers and pull them down, freeing his cock. As he kicks his boxers off, my eyes stayed glued to him, roaming his completely naked body before me. Fuck…
My hand trails slowly up his thigh, and I feel his eyes on me. My gaze travels up his body, watching his chest rise and fall with heavy breaths of anticipation. Mine does the same with a mix of nerves and excitement as my hand gets closer to his dick. But the groan he lets out as I wrap my hand around him pushes away any nerves I had. My hand moves up and down his hard cock as he continues to moan softly, but I want to hear even more.
I lower myself onto my elbows between his legs, and his breathing increases as he looks down at me. As I meet his gaze, I swallow, preparing myself to just go for it. And I’m immediately rewarded with a perfect groan from him as I wrap my lips around the head of his cock. I take a moment to manage the sensations in my mouth, as it somehow feels both hard and soft against my tongue, and I can taste his salty precum. As I slide my lips a little further down his length, I keep my eyes on him, and he slides his fingers through my hair to push it out of my face.
“Fuck,” he breathes as he watches me slide back up his cock and take him in my mouth again.
His moans of encouragement urge me on, and I move my hand up and down the base of his cock as I suck him. I let my tongue explore the ridges of his dick and watch him as he completely lets go. His grip in my hair tightens as I work him, and the sounds coming from him are driving me fucking wild. And I just want to make him moan even more, and even louder.
“Oh my god,” Theo pants, “your mouth feels so fucking good.”
My eyes fly up to him as his head tips back with a groan, and I watch the muscles in his chest flex as he tightens his grip on my arm and my hair.
Holy fucking shit.
His words push me to give him even more, and I increase my pace on him. My hand glides up and down his cock with the wetness from my mouth as I continue to lick and suck his head, and I feel him getting closer and closer.
Until he suddenly pulls my head back and I release him from my mouth.
“I’m going to come,” he says, his chest rising and falling with deep, fast breaths.
And I just stare back at him.
Because as hot as that is, and as much as I want to make him come, I’m not sure I know what to do to finish him with my mouth.
Theo seems to read my mind and pulls me up to him, pressing his lips to mine. As my tongue slides against his, I push my hips into his again and pull a delicious moan from him. I’m so fucking hard, and he feels so fucking good against me that I have to do it again, and again. Theo wraps his arms around me to keep me tight against him as we moan and groan against each other’s lips.
Eventually I push myself back just enough to slide a hand between us so I can grasp his cock, but he quickly grabs my wrist to stop me.
My eyes meet his and he just shakes his head, releasing my wrist to shove my boxers down over my hips. “Keep doing what you’re doing.”
My heart skips a beat as I roll my hips again and my cock, now free from my boxers, rubs against his. Theo’s eyes flutter closed, and a groan escapes him as I drop my lips to his neck. Heat spreads through me as I thrust my hips and feel his hard body against mine. His fingers digging into my skin only adds to the overwhelming sensation as a tingle spreads up my spine, and I grind into him even harder. He’s groaning and clawing at me as every move I make seems to bring him closer and closer, and I feel like I’m not far behind him.
Until he suddenly presses a hand to my chest to push me back and guides my hand to his cock.
I can’t help but let out a small smile as I look down at him. Theo… usually so quiet, reserved, and subtle, has finally found his voice. He’s telling me exactly what he wants, how he wants it, and with the confidence I knew was in there.
And I’m more than happy to give it to him.
I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke him as I straddle his hips. Immediately, he grunts, and his muscles tense.
“Fuck,” he mutters, “I’m coming.” His hands land on my thighs in a bruising grip and I continue to stroke him, watching his skin flush and his head tip back as he groans, coming over his abs and my hand.
I’m impossibly hard as I stare down at him, watching him in awe as he moans and writhes beneath me. When he’s almost down from his high, his eyes open and he looks up at me. He exhales and sits up, wrapping his arm around my back and flipping us over so he’s on top of me.
The feeling of his weight on me, his lips moving against mine, and his tongue in my mouth is enough to unravel me. I’m so close, and feel like I’m going to tip over the edge at any minute. But I need to hold on. He feels so fucking good, I need to savour this.
Theo kisses down my body, and I hold my breath as I watch him. But when he takes my cock into his warm, wet mouth, a rush rolls through me and the pressure starts to build. His soft brown eyes watch me as he takes my cock further into his mouth, and I can hardly fucking stand it.
“Jesus Christ…” I murmur as he slides his mouth up and down my length. I swallow hard as the sensation becomes almost unbearable, and when his hand cups my balls I bite my lip hard to keep from coming in his mouth right here and now.
But I can’t come yet. Because as I watch him, so confident, comfortable, and free, I want to give this to him. I want him to take everything he wants, and as much of it as he wants. Seeing him so uninhibited is like watching him come to life. Everything just seems so natural, and it’s like he’s completely weightless. Because he’s finally found his freedom.
A strangled moan escapes me as his tongue runs up the length of my cock, and I close my eyes to try to keep myself together just a little bit longer.
But I can’t. He feels too fucking good.
My hands land on his shoulders as I lift my head to look down at him and try to pull him up. “I’m going to come,” I say.
But he doesn’t move.
He stays right where he is and keeps his mouth on my cock.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
There’s no way I can hold back any longer.
One more glide of his tongue and my release quickly rushes to the surface. I groan loudly as my head tips back against the mattress and my fingers slide into his hair, gripping and pulling tight as I come in his mouth.
My cock pulses as I come harder than I think I ever have, and as I look down at him, I damn near lose my breath. He keeps his lips around my cock, his brown eyes glued to mine, and sucks every last drop of cum out of me.
When he releases me from his mouth, he pushes back onto his knees and his throat bobs as he swallows.
All I can do is stare at him and remind myself to breathe.
His eyes are on fire as he stares back at me, looking fucking alive .
And this might be the most alive I’ve felt in a long time too.