Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
Our eyes remain locked, his reflecting the shimmer of the setting sun dancing on the river’s surface, while my heart pounds like it’s trying to break free from my chest. His fingers brush against my stomach as he grips my waistband, and that single touch feels more powerful than the rush of the river beside us.
So all I can do is swallow and nod, giving him permission to take anything he wants from me.
Liam smirks, the small stones on the riverbank shifting under his feet as he steps closer and slides his fingers past the waistband of my pants and boxers. As they brush the tip of my hardening cock, a breath catches in my chest.
My eyes dart around, but I know we’re completely alone. We’ve been out here for over an hour, and we haven’t seen a single person. And we won’t, with the sun starting to set and being three kilometres away from the road.
“I can stop…” Liam murmurs, his gaze catching mine.
I meet his eyes, then shake my head and slide my hand to his hip, pulling him closer. “Fuck no.”
Our lips meet, and the rush that rolls through me as Liam slips his hand out of my pants to slide my zipper down is almost unbearable. And as he pushes his tongue past my lips while he palms my now hard cock, my entire body lights up.
I let out a moan as he slowly slides his hand up and down my cock, and his stubble scratches my chin. My hand lifts to grasp the side of his face as I kiss him with everything I have, needing to taste him, touch him, devour him. He fills every one of my senses as my fingers slip into his hair, his tongue slides against mine, and he moans softly against my lips. And when he rubs a thumb over the head of my cock, slicking my length with precum, a tingle runs up my spine and I pant against him.
“Oh my god,” I murmur into his lips, and he strokes me again, pulling another groan from me.
I need my hands on him. I need him to groan for me, feel his hard muscles, stroke his cock, and make him feel the same pleasure he’s giving me.
My hands drop to his pants, and I pull back from his lips to look down as I take his hard dick in my hand. My heart thunders as I take in the sight. Liam, hard for me as he strokes my cock… I still can’t even believe this is real.
Liam drops his lips to my neck with a nudge of his head, and I tilt mine to give him the access he wants. He kisses the skin under my ear as he continues to jerk me, and I close my eyes as I take in the feeling of him in my hand, and the cool evening air nipping at my skin. I rub my hand up and down his cock and listen to his heavy breaths mingling with the soft murmurs of the water, and the gentle breeze in the fir trees.
“Fuck,” I mutter, gripping his hip tight with my other hand as I take everything in, and let the wave of pleasure build.
Liam hums against my neck, and the added sensation damn near drives me fucking wild.
I bring my lips back to his and take him again in a heated kiss as I increase my pace on his cock. He does the same on me, and soon we’re both panting and moaning against each other.
“Oh my god,” I mutter, feeling my release rising quickly to the surface.
“Hm,” Liam hums again, pressing his forehead to mine as he looks down between us. “Fuck, you’re hot,” he murmurs.
My entire body stutters as his words drive me over the edge, and my hand falls from his cock as I come with a groan. I hold onto him tightly, watching my cum spill over his hand as pleasure crashes over me and my dick pulses.
Liam moans as he keeps his eyes on my cock, pulling every last ounce of ecstasy from me. And when his gaze lifts to meet mine, his eyes are gleaming with desire as they trace every feature of my face.
I exhale softly, taking in the way the setting sun glows in his clear blue eyes, and casts a warm, orange hue across his face.
Keeping my eyes on his, I take his hand and run my fingers through my cum. Then I wrap my cum-covered hand around his cock, and slide it up his length.
“Jesus Christ,” he stutters, his hips jerking and his eyes fluttering closed. His hands land on my hips, squeezing tight as he drops his head to watch me pump his cock with my cum.
My other hand lifts to tangle in his hair as I watch him quickly come undone in my arms and I’m suddenly very aware that we are out in the open, in the middle of the woods, where anyone could find us.
But I don’t fucking care.
I stroke him faster and bring my lips to his as the thrill settles inside me, and I let it fuel this moment between us. As I take everything I’ve ever wanted, and give him everything he deserves.
He tenses under my touch, and grunts against my mouth as his fingers dig into my hips. The thrill inside me only grows as he comes, and I can’t get enough of him.
I eventually release him, dropping my hand from his hair to step back and take him in. His breaths are heavy as he stares back at me, eyes glassy and cheeks flushed with pleasure. And I feel like I have to pinch myself.
He’s fucking perfect.
I tug a piece of carpet free, and Miss Bobber darts after a loose string. I laugh, teasing her with it as she pounces. Liam huffs out a laugh when she suddenly gets distracted by a dust ball and bolts after that instead.
It feels like we’ve been pulling up the old carpet in the sunroom for hours since I got home from work, the seemingly easy task taking longer than expected. And not just because of an adorable kitten who wants to play. Whoever laid this carpet down must have been preparing for the fucking apocalypse with the amount of nails and staples in this ugly thing. And underneath this mess, is another mess.
Beautiful hardwood… covered in plaster.
“What the fuck are people thinking when they cover hardwood,” I mutter, yanking up another strip of carpet and finding more plaster caked on the wood. This is going to take a ton of work to refinish, but it’ll look good when it’s done.
Liam looks over and shakes his head. “I don’t know. Kids?”
I shrug. “Aren’t kids messy? Wouldn’t hardwood be easier to clean?”
He thinks on that for a moment and nods thoughtfully. “Yeah… no idea then.”
We fall back into our rhythm as I pull up carpet and Liam follows behind me with a hammer and pry bar, pulling up the endless strips of nails and staples in the floor.
By the time we have half of it done, we sit on the floor against the wall and crack open a beer. Which is frustrating… the room isn’t even that big. It should have been done two hours ago.
Liam takes a drink of his beer as he leans back against the wall beside me, looking out into the room. “Nick and I pulled carpet out of his parents' entire house once,” he says quietly, his voice sounding distant.
I turn my head to look at him, surprised he’s bringing this up. He’s staring off into space, like he’s lost to a memory. I stay quiet and let him work through whatever it is.
He eventually releases a breath and blinks out of his thoughts. “It was a fucking disaster. Worse than this,” he says, his fingers fidgeting with his beer bottle.
“Yeah?” I ask softly, giving him the space and permission to continue if he wants to talk about it.
A small smile gently tugs at the corner of his lips. “He thought it was hilarious. I was ready to give up after three steps.”
I chuckle. “He sounds great.”
He nods as his smile fades. “Yeah. He was.”
Silence settles over us again as the weight of his words linger.
“ Is ,” I say softly.
Liam turns to look at me, his eyes searching mine with a question.
“He may not be here now, but he didn’t cease to exist,” I say, thinking of how I felt talking about my dad after he passed. “The memories are still real, and he’ll always be a part of you. What you shared with him is still alive, and always will be.”
His eyes fill with emotion, and he blinks a few times as he nods, lowering his gaze. “It’s still hard to talk about him.”
I nod. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
His eyes shift out to the room again, and a distant look takes over him once more. “There’s a lot I’m not ready for.” I watch as tension enters his jaw, and he absentmindedly picks at the label on his beer bottle. “Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be.”
I can’t help but think again about everything he’s told me so far, and wonder just how deep this pain goes. I know there’s more, but I’m not going to push him for it. I remember what it felt like when my dad died, and how every time someone asked me questions or pushed me to talk before I was ready, it shoved me back instead of helping me forward. So I’m not going to do that to him, especially when he’s starting to open up, just a little bit.
But as I think about having questions, needing to talk, and opening up… my mind drifts to the nagging thoughts and questions that have been trying to push me in a direction I also don’t feel ready to go in.
“I’ve been wondering lately what it would feel like to come out,” I murmur, breaking the silence.
Liam turns his head and I meet his gaze with a sigh.
“I have no fucking idea what to do about it,” I say.
He nods as he looks into my eyes. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
I smile at him with a little chuckle. “Wise words.”
He shrugs one shoulder with a soft smirk.
Then I sigh, my smile fading as I lean my head back against the wall. “But I also feel like I’ll never be ready.” I keep my eyes on his, hesitating before I quietly add, “But if I do… it could affect you too, if…”
His eyes soften as I trail off, unsure how to finish that thought as the words get stuck in my throat.
If you’ll still be here? If you want people to know that side of you?
…If you’ll still have me?
“The only thing I care about is you,” he says softly. “Whatever you want, I’m here.”
A fluttering feeling forms in my chest at the thought of him wanting to be with me during this massive change in my life… and just wanting to be a part of my life. It’s big for him too. And I can’t help but wonder what his family would think. He said he’s never been with a guy before, but he doesn’t seem to share the same fears I do.
A question bubbles as I watch him. I feel like it’s an important one, for both of us… so I go for it.
“What would Nick think?”
Liam shifts his gaze past me, his eyes distant again as emotion flickers. He seems to lose himself to his head again for a moment, and I worry I pushed too hard, too soon.
“He’d give me a hard time,” he says eventually.
Fuck.
My heart sinks, and I brace myself for the moment this all unravels. Where Liam realizes his best friend, the most important person in his life, wouldn’t have approved of us.
Liam’s gaze slides back to mine and his lips tilt up in a soft smile. “In the best way.”
My brow furrows, and he chuckles lightly.
“He’d love it. But I’d be hearing awful dick jokes for the rest of my life.” He lets out another soft huff before he drops his gaze, and his smile fades.
I watch him for a moment, until he lifts his eyes to meet mine again. The sadness has returned, but with it is something else. Something a little softer.
“He’d really like you,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
I smile softly. “Sounds like I’d really like him too.”
He holds my gaze for a moment longer. “And I think your family would support you, no matter what.”
I nod, taking a deep breath in. “I know.”
Liam’s eyes roam my face, then he lifts a hand to brush his thumb over my cheekbone. “Mo chridhe,” he murmurs.
My brow furrows. “Is that… Gaelic?”
He smiles softly with a nod.
I huff a laugh as I stare back at him in disbelief. “You speak Gaelic?”
He just nods again, still looking into my eyes.
“What does it mean?” I ask.
He leans in to kiss me softly, holding me against him for a moment. Then he pulls back just enough so his lips lightly brush over mine. “Just something to describe what you are to me.”