Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
My pulse thunders in my ears as Liam pulls the truck onto Mom’s street, and her house slowly comes into view. I’ve been building up the courage for so long to face this moment, and now that it’s here… that courage seems to be slipping away under the weight of my fear.
Liam’s hand slides onto my thigh and he gives me a gentle squeeze. He smiles softly when I look at him, and immediately some of the anxiety eases, just knowing he’s here with me.
I just hope tonight won’t be the moment where everything crumbles, and my truth hurts my family.
Liam parks in front of Mom’s house, and I feel like I’m moving on autopilot, just floating through the air as I walk to the front door. But as I stand before it, looking into Liam’s eyes, I take a deep breath and know there’s no turning back now.
The scent of dinner cooking greets us as we enter the house, and Grandpa smiles widely as we step into the living room. Heather, Chris, and the kids aren’t here yet, so it’s quiet as Mom bustles around the kitchen.
But the second she sees us, she rushes forward to wrap Liam in a tight hug. “Welcome home!”
“Thank you,” he says, hugging her back as his eyes meet mine over her shoulder.
A smile forms on my lips as I watch them, and the usual feeling of comfort I have with my family slowly pushes away the uncertainty.
“Come in, come in,” Mom ushers us into the living room.
Grandpa steps forward, offering Liam a firm handshake and a smile. “How was the rig this time?”
Liam takes his hand with a nod. “Good. Long as always.”
“I’d imagine.”
“Hey!” Heather’s voice sounds from the front door, and Mason zooms into the room, breathless and wide-eyed as he stops in front of Liam.
“Did you see the shark again?” Mason asks, excitement literally oozing from him.
Liam chuckles. “I don’t think I saw that one, but I did see some other cool animals.”
Mason’s eyes somehow widen even more. “Tell me!”
Heather grins as she enters the room and reaches out to squeeze Liam’s arm. “Welcome home!” She then turns to me, her smile still impossibly wide. “Hi, Theo.”
I cock an eyebrow at her. “Why are you so happy?”
She shrugs, moving into the kitchen. “Just am.”
Mom brings Liam and I each a beer, and as we sit on the couch opposite Grandpa and I take a sip, I almost groan with delight. I’m finally off my pain meds, and haven’t been able to have a beer in almost a month… it tastes like fucking heaven.
Mason immediately plops down next to Liam, stuck to his side like glue. “Did you see a stingray?”
Liam pulls out his phone with a smile. “I saw a manta ray, actually. Want to see a picture?”
Mason’s jaw drops and he looks at Chris as he sits next to Grandpa. “Dad! Did you hear that? A manta ray! ”
“I did,” Chris laughs, taking a sip of his beer. “Careful, Liam, you may have just made a new best friend. Little dude loves sea life.”
Liam smiles at Chris, then pulls up a photo of the manta ray floating in the water below the rig. Mason, as expected, loses his mind and demands to see every picture of every animal Liam saw. As they flip through the pictures and Mason asks a million questions, Grandpa pulls my attention back to him.
“So, Theo,” he starts. “Are you doing the end-of-season dinner with your crew this week?” Then he adds carefully, “Or, do you want me to?”
I nod thoughtfully, having been thinking of this. Every year, I take the crew out to thank them for the season, which is something my grandpa and dad have done ever since they started this business. And even though my season was cut short with them, I still need to celebrate the success we did have, and thank them for being the best crew I could ever ask for.
“I’ll take them,” I say, and Grandpa nods with a smile. Then I lean back on the couch and cock an eyebrow at him. “You’re retired anyway, and it’s time you get back to the porch with your crew. Your tales are getting a little too far-fetched.”
He smirks at me. “You’re just upset you didn’t take in the biggest haul of the season.”
I roll my eyes. “Conveniently, I’ve yet to actually see that slip. So I’ll believe it when I see it, old man.”
A chuckle escapes him as he shakes his head. “You’re just going to have to bring it harder next season.”
I nod. “I will.”
His smile softens, and he nods back at me.
Because I will be back next season.
My gaze wanders around the room as I take in my family. Isla and Chris are looking at a book on the couch next to Grandpa, Mason still has his eyes glued to Liam’s phone, and Heather is sitting on the arm of the couch next to him, intently listening as he rambles on about the sea creatures in the photos.
Mom sets a salad on the table and wipes her hands on her apron as she looks around to ensure everything is ready. But before she can call us all to the table, I take a deep breath in, knowing I need to do this now.
“Hey, Mom?” I say, my voice tight with nerves as she turns her attention to me. “Can you come sit for a minute?”
She eyes me curiously as she steps into the living room. “Everything ok?”
“Yeah,” I say, glancing at Liam. He gives me a soft smile and an encouraging nod. But my heart is rioting .
Mom sits on a chair, concern flickering in her eyes. Everyone stares back at me, waiting… and the weight of their silence presses down on me until my hand trembles and I rub it on my knee with a shaky breath.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Mom asks, leaning forward.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I say, my voice quiet and breathy. “I just… uh…”
I feel frozen as I sit here, with everyone’s eyes on me as I hold onto a secret that is desperate to get out… and may be one they don’t want to know.
But Liam subtly presses his leg against mine, lending me the strength I need to just do this.
I drop my eyes to his leg pressed against mine and pull in a deep breath. “I’m gay.”
The words hang heavily between us all, and everything seems to still. I force myself to look up at my family and meet their gazes, knowing I need to face whatever outcome is coming my way. Mom and Grandpa both stare at me with raised eyebrows, while Chris nods slowly, and Heather smiles softly. Isla still has her nose deep in a book, and Mason is looking between everyone with confusion etched on his little face.
The silence is unbearable.
“What’s gay?” Mason suddenly asks, breaking the silence.
The question lingers in the air for a moment until Heather bursts out laughing, and everyone follows suit.
But I can’t join them. Because something just opened up deep inside me, ready to be filled in with either regret and pain, or love and freedom.
And I can’t even move until I know which one it’s going to be.
Liam’s hand squeezes my leg, and I turn my head to look at him. His eyes sparkle with warmth and reassurance, reminding me to breathe.
“Theo,” Mom’s voice is gentle, drawing my attention back to her. “Why do you look so scared?”
“I… I didn’t know…” I start, unsure how to explain the thoughts swirling around in my head. The same ones I’ve had for so long, longer than I’ve even realized, that were created out of fear. They’ve played out every possible scenario for how this was going to go… and now that I’m actually in it, I have no idea what to do.
“Didn’t know if we’d still love you?” Grandpa finishes for me, tilting his head as he observes me.
I swallow hard and nod. “Mostly though… I was worried it would hurt the store, or any of you, if people knew…”
Mom scoffs. “Theodore MacKinnon, stop that.” She gives me a scolding look. “If anyone has an issue with you, they’re not welcome in our store.”
“Damn right,” Grandpa adds, raising his beer. Chris holds his up in agreement, and Heather just smiles.
But my gaze lingers on Heather, who has been unusually quiet.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” I ask.
“Oh,” she waves a hand in the air, “I already knew.”
“What?” I ask, my pulse picking up its pace again.
Her eyes dart between me and Liam. “Liam didn’t tell you?”
Liam winces as my gaze lands on him. “I wanted you to be able to tell your family how you wanted to…”
Confusion is quickly muddling my thoughts as I try to make sense of this. “How though…”
Mom sits forward on her chair putting a hand up to stop us. “Wait, you two are together?”
I nod in response to Mom’s question. “Yeah.” But I keep my eyes on Heather. “How?” I ask again.
Grandpa huffs out a little laugh as he takes a drink of his beer, and I see Chris out of the corner of my eye, his head whipping back and forth between me and Heather.
And she just shrugs.
“When I went to pick up your clothes for the hospital, I went into your room…” she says slowly. “And it was very obvious there were two boys living in there. With one unmade bed in the entire house…”
Heat rushes to my face. That’s how she had to find out?
“And…” her gaze shifts to Liam. “Liam was so worried about you, it just… it all clicked.”
Liam squeezes my leg again and smiles softly at me. I stare into his eyes for a moment, getting lost in the clear blue as everything inside me seems to finally settle.
“And yes,” I nod, finally tearing my eyes away from him and looking at Mom. “Liam and I are together.”
Her eyes flick between us, then a big smile spreads across her face. “Well, isn’t that the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Mom,” Heather breathes out a laugh, reaching forward to place her hands over Mason's ears.
Mom waves her off. “He’ll live.”
Chris lifts his beer to his lips and mutters, “He’s heard worse,” and Isla gives him a knowing look.
Laughter bubbles up from somewhere deep inside me, and a rush of relief flows through every part of my body. The last bit of weight has lifted, and for the first time in my life… I feel completely free.
Mom pushes to her feet and motions for me to stand up. She pulls me into a tight hug, and I hold onto her as emotion wells up in my throat, threatening to spill over.
“You know we love you, honey,” she whispers. “And everyone in this town does too. We just want you to be happy, and to be exactly who you are.”
Tears sting my eyes as I nod. “Thanks, Mom.”
She gives me one last squeeze before turning to Liam. “I guess it’s time to officially welcome you to the family.”
Liam smiles as he stands, and Mom wraps her arms around him in a loving hug. My heart swells as I watch them, and I see the emotion written all over Liam’s face too.
When she releases him, Mom looks around the room and gestures to the table. “Come on. Let’s eat.”
As everyone files out and towards the table, Chris and Grandpa clap me on the back with a smile, offering the quiet acceptance I’ve been longing for, and Heather pulls me into a hug. But before we can follow everyone, Mason stops in front of us, looking up with wide, curious eyes.
“So… you sleep in the same bed?” he asks.
Liam and I exchange a glance, then I nod. “Yeah.”
“And… you kiss?” his eyes dart between us.
Liam bites back a smile. “Yes.”
He nods seriously. “So, you’re in love,” he says, more as a statement than a question.
I smile as I look down at his curious expression. “We are.”
Mason tilts his head as his brows draw together, and I try to prepare myself for questions I have no idea how to answer appropriately for a five-year-old.
“Weren’t you already?” he asks simply.
A laugh escapes both me and Liam, and Mason just watches us, waiting for his answer.
Liam slips his arm around my waist and nods at him. “Yeah, I think we were all along.”
And when his lips press softly against mine, right here in front of my family, I feel like my heart could burst.
Everything is fucking perfect.
I sit at the kitchen island, resting my arm on the counter as I carefully begin undoing the Velcro on my splint.
I fucking hate this part.
Liam walks into the kitchen, having just changed into sweats after getting home from Mom’s, and his eyes drop to my arm. I pause as the weight of vulnerability settles over me. I also hate that he has to see this.
“I need to massage the scars every night,” I say, gesturing to the silicone strips and the compression bandage lying on the counter. “Then cover them with these.”
Liam nods and sits on the stool beside me. And I hesitate with the last Velcro closure on the splint. I don’t even like looking at this mess myself.
But before I can say anything, he reaches out and gently takes my arm, undoing the Velcro himself. His movements are calm and careful as he removes the splint and places it aside, and I keep my eyes on him the whole time.
His gaze runs up the length of my arm, over the deep scars across my hand, and the long, thick scar on the underside of my forearm. The skin is uneven, puckered in places from the injury, surgery, and lack of use. It looks fucking hideous.
But when I meet Liam’s eyes, they're steady and soft. “Battle scars,” he murmurs with a small smile. He picks up the lotion and squeezes some onto his fingers. “Tell me what to do.”
My throat tightens as I watch him, feeling more exposed than I expected. “Firm pressure with circular motions. All along the scar.”
He nods, then starts working his fingers over the length of the scar on my forearm first, doing exactly as I instructed. I watch him as we sit here in silence, and his words echo in my mind.
Battle scars.
I glance down at the deep, jagged lines etched into my skin, and inhale deeply. As ugly as they are, they are also a reminder that I survived. And not just this injury, but so much more. They’re proof that I’ve faced my biggest fears, and came out the other side, stronger than ever.
And through it all, I also found the love I’ve been looking for my whole life.
Liam continues to massage my scars, loosening the tight tissue under each one. When he finishes, he places the silicone strips on them, helps me wrap the compression bandage over my arm and hand, and secures the splint back in place.
“Thank you,” I say quietly as I lift my eyes to his.
He nods, then leans in and brushes his lips against mine. “Tha gaol agam ort.”
A breath escapes me as a smile tugs at the corners of my lips.
I know that one.
“I love you, too.”