19. While You Were Sleeping （Director’s Cut）
19
While You Were Sleeping (Director’s Cut)
Mac
Paige and I are back on the dock in San Felipe. She’s wearing that awful peach dress, only this time instead of telling her she looks like she got stuck in a cotton candy machine, I tell her the truth—that she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She smiles up at me, resting her hands on my chest, sending a deep feeling of warmth throughout my body. I want those hands on me. All over me. But it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough.
“Kiss me,” she says, lifting herself onto her toes and pressing herself against me. “Kiss me and make everything all right again.”
I lower my mouth to hers, our lips brushing against each other with the softness of a feather. Mmm, this feels nice . I reach out and take her by the waist, pulling her to me so I can feel her curves against my body. Her lips part and she kisses me more fiercely now. With more urgency. And I kiss her back like I mean it, even though some distant part of my mind is telling me to stop. Why do I need to stop? I don’t want to. Not when it feels this good. A nagging sensation comes over me, and I realize we’re going to be late for the wedding.
“We don’t have time,” I tell her. “We’ve got to get going.”
She looks up at me, her eyes wide and pleading. “We do if we hurry.” Turning away from me, she says, “Here, help me get out of this dress.” Her tone is breathy, filled with longing.
I slowly lower the zipper, then run my hands up her back until I reach the straps. Using my thumbs, I slide the straps off her shoulders and watch as the peach cloud of fabric lands at her feet, leaving her fully nude. She falls back against me, tilting her head, giving me access to her neck. I leave a trail of kisses from her ear lobe to her collar bone, drawing out a little moan from deep inside her. Reaching around, I hug her tight to me, I caress the skin on her stomach and make my way up to her full breasts. God, that feels good. So, so good. She turns her head and I find her mouth with mine, thrusting my tongue inside to show her what I want to do. She grinds against me, her curves waking up my entire body, and I’m suddenly desperate to have her. I want to caress every curve, touch every inch of her skin, to feel her tighten around me and draw me in as deep as I can get.
“I want you, Mac,” she whispers, panting and moving more quickly now.
She wants me, and I want her back, more than I’ve ever wanted any woman in my life. But there’s that voice telling me to stop. She’s going to miss the wedding. I can’t do this to her. It would be wrong. Totally wrong.
She reaches around and presses her fingers to my hard length, rubbing against the fabric that is in the way. I let out a groan, wishing my clothes could instantly disappear because I don’t want to take my hands off her long enough to strip down. She turns her head a little more and kisses me harder this time, making me completely wild with lust. “Yes, Mac. Yes,” she whispers. “I want you now.”
“I want you too, so bad,” I murmur. “But we shouldn’t do this.”
“Why not?”
Why not? I don’t know why not. I do, but I can’t remember right now. My brain has been rendered completely ineffective. Wake up. Wake up, you idiot. You’ve got to wake up. You cannot do this.
My eyes fly open. It’s light out and I see Paige lying in front of me, her t-shirt pulled up, her head turned to me, lips parted, eyes closed. My arm is wrapped around her and my hand is on her breast. She kisses me again, and suddenly I’m fully aware that this isn’t just a dream. My first thought is that I need to stop, but she’s so unbelievably sexy, I don’t want to. I want to pretend I’m still asleep so we can finish what we’ve started. It would be incredible and we both know it.
But I can’t. I won’t take advantage of her like this. Not when I know what she’s looking for and I know I can’t give it to her.
I force myself to slide my hand from her chest, but I only manage to get as far as her hip. After a few torturous seconds, I peel my fingers off her body one by one, then gently lower her shirt. It hurts like hell but it’s the right thing to do. I carefully take her hand and set it down in front of her, then pull back, leaving an empty space between us on the small bed, hoping I don’t wake her.
If she can just keep sleeping, this won’t have to get awkward. We won’t have to have a conversation I don’t want to have. I still my breath, hoping that if I’m totally silent, she won’t wake up. She lets out a little pouty moan that nearly does me in, and then shifts herself so she’s pressed against me again. I let her grind against me for a few seconds, before I reach up and stop her with a hand on her hip.
“No, Paige, we can’t do this,” I whisper.
“But I want to,” she mutters, eyes still closed. “So, so much.”
Closing my eyes, I use every ounce of will power I’ve got so I won’t start things up again. “Go back to sleep,” I tell her. “You’re just dreaming.”
She rolls onto her stomach with a groan and after a couple of seconds, her breathing grows steady again, and I know she’s asleep. Peeling myself from the bed, I tiptoe out of the room and go directly to the shower to finish off what we started.
Standing under the spray of water, I imagine her slipping into the shower with me and kissing me hard on the mouth, her hair and skin getting soaked as I press her up against the wall. I let go, easing the incredible tension that’s been growing each hour since I first saw her on that dock. I give myself a couple of minutes to recover before I shut off the water and dry off, knowing that each day we’re out here together, it’s going to get harder and harder to resist. At some point, I’m going to break completely and give in. And as incredible as it will be, someone is going to get hurt.
By the time she comes tumbling out of the bedroom, the last pancake is almost done and the coffee is ready. I’ve already been outside to lay my blankets and pillow out in the sun to dry off because there’s no way I’m sharing a bed with her again. One night of tempting fate was enough to prove to me that it was a very bad idea .
She’s dressed in jean shorts and a tank top. She blushes a little when she sees me, and I’m not sure if she remembers what we were doing or not. I stare at her for a second, wondering what she’s thinking and how she’s feeling, but there’s no clear sign of anything on her face. Only the sight of her freshly scrubbed skin with a few new freckles from yesterday’s sun.
“Good morning,” I manage, turning my gaze back to the stove.
“Morning. How’d you sleep?”
“Great. You?”
“I was out like a light. I feel really refreshed.”
“I’m glad.” I tighten my grip on the spatula to prevent myself from reaching for her. All the reasons I had that we shouldn’t get involved still stand, even after our long talk last night. Even knowing she feels the same way I do. The reasons aren’t going to magically disappear. Her life is about as far away from here and as different from mine as possible, and a roll in the hay isn’t going to change that. I lift the pancake off the pan and set it on the plate, then shut off the stove.
Paige hobbles over to the cupboard and reaches up to get the mugs down, and my eyes naturally fall to her ass in those jean shorts, the sight of it causing my body to react. “How’s your ankle this morning?”
“A lot better,” she answers, pouring us each a coffee. “I think I might be back to one-hundred percent in a couple of days.”
“Excellent,” I say, setting the plates on the table. “I’m going to finish setting up the dummies and the S.O.S. signs after breakfast. I’ll be gone most of the day again.”
“I wish I could help,” she says, sitting down.
“You’re the ideas person. I’m the muscle. ”
Her eyes flick to my arms, and I can tell she’s suppressing a grin. “That’s for sure.”
I eat quickly and slam back the coffee, the entire time imagining myself swiping the dishes off the table and having my way with her right here and now. Then I stand and say, “I better get started if I’m going to get to the other side of the island and back today.”
Her eyes grow wide. “Is there a chance you won’t make it back?”
“Maybe. It’s hard to know how far it is. I packed a bag just in case.”
Disappointment fills her face, but she smiles and nods to hide it. “Okay, well, stay safe out there.”
“I will.” I stand and put my dishes in the sink. “What are you going to get up to today?”
“I thought I’d lay around. I might even do some sitting as well. I haven’t quite decided.”
I pick my backpack off the floor and pull out the Clive Cussler novel I’m reading. “Here. This might not be your thing, but then again, you might love it.” I reach out my hand to pass it to her, our fingers brushing against each other as she takes it from me.
“Thanks,” Paige answers with a grin. “This should help keep my mind occupied.”
Crossing the room, I open the door. “I’ll see you tonight, hopefully.”
“If you’re not back by sundown, I’ll call the army.”
I chuckle a little. “Sounds like a plan.”
We stare at each other for a second, then I give her a nod and walk outside to go gather all the supplies, wishing I was on my way back here instead of just leaving.