24. Sleep, Money, and Other Things That Are Overrated…
24
Sleep, Money, and Other Things That Are Overrated…
Mac
It’s early evening, and I just caught and cleaned a good-sized sea bass for our supper. We found a few ripe mangoes earlier this afternoon, and Paige is in the house making a big pot of rice, so it’ll be a simple but tasty meal for us. I light the charcoal barbeque and get to work grilling the fish, smiling to myself, thinking about Paige.
Even though she’s just in the house, I miss her. I know that’s stupid, but I can’t help myself. It’s been less than a week since we first slept together, and since then, I can’t get enough of her — the way she feels and tastes, the way she talks and thinks, the way she looks at me, as if I’m the only man in the world. I want to be near her all the time, and I’ve never felt like this with anyone. Not even Lisa. Not even at the beginning. The sex was great with her, but I always had the feeling that I wasn’t quite enough for her, which, as it turns out, was her feeling as well.
I glance through the kitchen window and see Paige standing in front of the sink, deep in thought. Another plane passed by this morning without noticing us, and I know she’s feeling as if she somehow failed in her plan to get us noticed. I did my best to reassure her that it wasn’t because her plan failed, but because the plane was too high, which is true. But I can tell she’s still upset about it, and I find myself wanting to help ease her mind.
The door opens, and Paige walks out carrying a couple of candles. “I thought we could eat outside on the lounge chairs.”
“Sounds perfect. Do you need any help?”
“No, thanks. I’ve got it.” She sets the candles down on the side table between the chairs and walks over, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me on my back while I cook. I turn and kiss her, then rest my forehead on hers, wishing I could tell her I want her to belong to me.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
Turning, I wrap my arms around her. “Liar. You’re still upset about that plane.”
She looks up at me. “I just … I’m worried that maybe I’m not as good as I thought I was at advertising. I swear Guy would have gotten us off this island on day one.”
Shaking my head, I say, “Not true. You’re amazing. That plane was just too high. No way could they see anything from that altitude. Trust me, as soon as anyone comes anywhere near this island, they’re going to see at least one of the things you came up with.”
“I hope so,” she says, lifting herself onto her tiptoes and giving me a kiss. “Well, sort of.”
I grin, knowing exactly what she means. “Say, while I’ve got you here, I was wondering if I could pick your brain for a little advice. I keep thinking about how you reacted to the name of my company.”
She wrinkles up her nose. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. It definitely makes sense because of your name.”
“Yeah, but maybe I need to rethink it. Find a name that inspires confidence.” I nuzzle her neck and leave a trail of kisses along her collar bone. “I was hoping you might help me come up with a plan, just in case we do get rescued. I’m going to have to make some quick cash.”
Pulling back, she gives me a flirty look. “I don’t know … what’s in it for me?”
“What if I knock off some of your gambling debt?” I answer, grinning down at her. “You’re into me for a cool one hundred g’s already.”
She purses her lips. “I owe you one hundred thousand fake dollars. You’re asking for real advice. What kind of businesswoman would I be if I agreed to that?”
I look up at the night sky. “Okay, how about sexual favors?”
“I’m listening…”
“I could start with that thing I do with my tongue that you seem to enjoy so much.”
She gives me a very serious look. “I see. In that case, what exactly do you want to know?”
I burst out laughing and she does too. When we’re done, I say, “Everything that beautiful mind of yours can come up with.”
“Right, well, if you want everything I can come up with it’ll take a while. But just spitballing, if it were me, I’d want to focus on the experience of the flight itself. It’s not just getting people from A to B. It’s the journey. You want it to feel exclusive, luxurious, fun. Capture the excitement and romance of the Caribbean. The freedom of it all,” she says, running her hands up and down my back. “Also, I’d totally pimp you out, using photos and videos of you because you inspire confidence and you’re insanely hot. ”
My face heats up a little and I laugh, then say, “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
The fish starts to smoke and I let go of her to check on it. “This looks ready.”
“Let’s eat and we can keep talking.”
A few minutes later, we’re sitting on the lounge chairs with our plates on our laps, under the light of the moon and the flickering of the candles. The only sounds are those of the waves and the occasional call of a bird. Paige is explaining to me the importance of having an objective for any ad campaign, whether it’s to gain new clients or to get old ones back. I listen, wondering if maybe, just maybe, she might be happy to start her own agency in San Felipe, where she could help people like me. It wouldn’t be the fast-paced, glamorous lifestyle she’s got now working with celebrities and huge corporations with nine-figure budgets, but maybe it would be enough.
When she finishes talking, she says, “Here I’ve been going on and on and I haven’t even touched my food. I’m probably boring you to death.”
“Not at all. I love hearing you talk about your work. You’re a wealth of knowledge.”
“I better be after so many years working with the world’s biggest clients,” she answers, lifting a forkful of rice to her mouth.
“Ever think of taking that knowledge and applying it on a smaller scale? Working with regular people who have big dreams?”
She shrugs. “Not really. There’s no money in it.”
I nod as though that makes perfect sense, which it does. It also feels like a kick to the junk because here I am, trying to test the waters, and it turns out they’re cold. What started out as me trying to make her feel better somehow morphed into me trying to see if we might have a future together. The truth is, the longer we’re together, the more terrified I am that someday soon we’ll be found, and we’ll have to go back to our real lives. It’s that knowledge that has propelled things between us at a fast and furious rate—the fact that it could all be over any moment. It makes us both desperate to make the most of every second, because we both know in the real world, we don’t make sense. But out here, we’re perfect together. And the more I think about a future together when all of this is over, the more I want it to be possible, even though I know it’s too much to hope for. She’s not going to change her five-year plan and I’m not going to pick up everything and move to New York.
We’re both quiet while she finishes eating. Paige stacks her plate on mine on the side table, then says, “You look deep in thought.”
I give her a small smile, knowing I absolutely can’t tell her what’s really on my mind. But then, I hear myself say, “I was just thinking that I might not mind if we never got rescued.”
Paige grins for a second, then says, “Eventually, we’ll run out of vodka and pancake mix.”
I stare at her, my smile fading. “I don’t need either of those things to be happy.”
She swallows hard, then says, “What do you need?”
My heart pounds in my chest, and my palms feel suddenly clammy, but I force the words out of my mouth. “I’m looking at her.”
“Really?” she whispers, biting her bottom lip.
“Really. Come here.” She stands and I pull her onto my lap, and we kiss and hold each other for a long time. “I don’t know what happened to me, but for the first time in my life, I understand what people mean when they say they can’t live without someone.”
“But you were married,” she says. “You must have felt like this before.”
I shake my head. “No. Not even for a minute. She and I wouldn’t have lasted a day out here without wanting to kill each other. But with you, this is … enough. I don’t know how you feel, Paige, but…” I bring my face to hers again and kiss her some more. “If we were stuck here forever, I know I’d be okay with it.”
“I feel the same way,” Paige whispers, cupping my cheeks in her hands. “I’ve never had anything feel this right before. Nothing.”
“This is crazy, isn’t it?” I ask, brushing my lips against hers. “If we’re not careful, I’m going to end up messing up your entire five-year plan.”
“Right now, I don’t even know who that woman with the plan was.” She closes her eyes and kisses me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
I stand and carry her into the house, and take her to bed, not wanting to think about the future or ask the what-ifs. Instead, I’m intent on showing her how I feel. I’m intent on making her forget that New York even exists.
We make love until the sun starts to come up, unable to stop ourselves until we’re both beyond exhaustion. She drops off to sleep with our naked bodies intertwined, and I watch her, my heart bursting. I wait until her breathing grows steady, then whisper, “I’m in love with you.”
And it’s true. I am one-hundred-percent all in. Which means I’m one-hundred-percent going to go bust when this is over.