Chapter 18 #2
Ryan intervened. “Lily, let’s talk about your school project instead. Tell Uncle Cooper about your solar system model.”
As Lily launched into a detailed description of her papier maché planets, I tried to regain my composure. But my mind kept replaying Jack’s words: Some know right away. The gentle way he’d handled Lily’s question without dismissing the possibility.
And more disturbing was my own reaction.
For one breathtaking moment, when Lily had asked about marriage, I’d been able to picture it perfectly: Jack and I exchanging vows, perhaps in the redwoods, surrounded by friends and family.
The vision had felt so right, so possible.
But I had a tendency to jump ahead, to put more value into relationships than the other person, and look what happened with Ben.
No, I couldn’t let myself do that again.
After dinner, while Lily showed Jack her solar system project in the living room, Ryan and I cleaned the kitchen. Through the doorway, I could see Jack sitting cross-legged on the floor beside her. She held Neptune while she explained its composition with adorable inaccuracy.
Ryan followed my gaze. “Can I be honest about something?”
I nodded, and apprehension crept up my spine.
“I’ve never seen you this happy, Coop. Not with anyone else you’ve dated. Certainly not with Ben. The way you look at Jack…” He shook his head. “I’m just really glad you finally found someone who seems to get you.”
“Ryan—” I started, not sure what I was going to say. Because I truly was happy. That I couldn’t deny. But our arrangement was temporary.
He waved me off. “You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that I’m happy for you. Both of you. Finally.”
I stilled. “What do you mean, finally?”
Ryan gave me a knowing smile. “I noticed it the first time you two came into the bank to drop off your deposit bag. He looked at you like you were the center of his universe. Wasn’t sure if you saw it.”
Before I could respond, Jack appeared in the doorway, grinning, Lily right beside him. “Lily tells me she’s ready for ice cream.”
The moment between us passed, but Ryan’s words echoed in my head as we served ice cream and moved to the living room for coffee. Had Jack really looked at me differently all along? For years? Had I been too caught up in our friendship to notice?
I watched him more carefully as he sat beside me on the couch, occasionally letting his knee rest against mine or his hand brush my shoulder. Was that new, or had he always found these small ways to touch me?
Lily fell asleep against Jack’s side while we talked, and he looked surprised but gently adjusted to accommodate her.
He continued his conversation with Ryan about the economic outlook for small businesses in coastal towns as if the munchkin using him as a pillow was the most natural thing in the world.
Eventually, Ryan checked his watch. “I should get this one to bed.” He carefully lifted Lily from the couch.
“Yeah, we should head out.” I stood. “Thanks for dinner. It was great.”
Jack rose beside me. His hand found the small of my back again in that nonchalant yet familiar way that made my pulse quicken.
“We’ll have to do this again.” Ryan adjusted Lily in his arms.
“We’d like that,” Jack said without hesitation, which made me feel strangely breathless. We.
The drive home was quiet. Jack drove while I gazed out the window and tried to sort through the knotted web of emotions the evening had stirred up: confusion, happiness…hope.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Jack said as we pulled up outside my apartment building.
I turned to look at him and studied his profile in the dim light. “Just thinking about what a nice evening it was,” I admitted. “Lily really took to you.”
He smiled, and there was something gentle and vulnerable in his expression. “She’s a great kid.”
We sat in silence for a moment as the car idled. Eventually, Jack cut the engine. “I'll walk you to your door.”
But, standing outside my apartment, I couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving. The place would feel too empty, too lonely compared to the warmth of the evening we’d just shared.
“Do you want to come in?” I blurted. “For a beer?”
Jack’s eyes softened. “Sure, if you’re not too tired.”
Inside, we hung up our jackets, and I grabbed two Barnacle Brews from the fridge.
Jack wandered over to my bookshelf and perused the collection he’d seen a hundred times before. When I brought his beer to him, he thanked me with a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes in the way that had always made my day a little brighter.
We sat close together on the couch and talked about nothing important—the book he was reading, a new tea supplier I was considering for the shop. But all I could focus on was the narrowing space between us, how each shift brought us a fraction closer.
I snapped.
I plucked the bottle out of his hand and plunked it onto the coffee table beside mine. He raised an eyebrow knowingly and smirked.
I cupped his stubbly jaw with my hand and pressed my lips to his.
Jack responded immediately, one arm wrapping around my waist to pull me closer.
I deepened the kiss and shifted to face him more fully, his hands threading through my hair with gentle urgency.
My hands slipped under his sweater, fingertips tracing the warm skin beneath as our tongues found their rhythm together.
He tasted of yeasty hops and burning need.
My cock pulsed in my jeans and begged for attention.
Some distant part of my brain knew we should stop, should talk about what was happening. But the much louder part of me didn’t want to risk breaking whatever spell had fallen over us.
Jack pulled back slightly, his breathing uneven. “Cooper…?”
I answered by pulling him back to me. I kissed him with all the longing that had been building inside me.
“I need you,” he whispered against my mouth. His hands slid under my shirt and left trails of heat against my skin.
I nipped his neck, and goosebumps rose on his skin. “Can I suck you off?” I asked, my voice rough.
He froze.
I pulled away, afraid I’d gone too far. I kept crossing boundaries, yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I…cared…about Jack. I wanted more with him. But I seemed to have shocked him. “Sorry, I—”
“Yes. Please.” His voice was nothing but a husky growl.
Anticipation thrummed through my blood and pumped through my aching dick.
I pushed the coffee table aside and dropped to my knees between his thighs.
I peppered kisses on his stomach as I tore at the button and zipper of his jeans.
He lifted his hips and shoved his pants and briefs down to his ankles, sighing in relief as he freed his erection.
A bead of precum glistened on the head, and I leaned forward and licked the salty drop.
Jack hissed. “Fuck…it’s going to be hard not to shoot like it’s my first time.”
I might have been the one on my knees, but a sense of power buzzed through my veins. Smugly, I said, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Jack gave a brittle laugh and swiped a hand down his face. “Christ, Coop…” I enveloped his dick with my hand, and it twitched with need against my palm.
I raised my eyes. “Watch me.” He lowered his gaze, his eyes on fire with desire. I slowly licked his shaft from the base to the tip. He tasted uniquely like Jack: warm, masculine, and slightly musky.
He shuddered, his eyelids hooded. “That feels so good.”
The praise went straight to my head. A brief, vivid glimpse of what our life could be like together appeared unbidden in my mind. Days and nights giving each other pleasure. My dick grew harder at the thought.
I took him into my mouth, tongued his cock as I bobbed on him, and added the stroke of my hand. I relished the feel of him, the fullness of his girth in my mouth. Of his soft skin over a hard shaft. Of the heat in my hand.
His thigh tightened under my free hand. “Fuck,” he muttered. “You…you’re…” His words stuttered as I stroked and sucked. I knew he was close.
My cock throbbed, trapped behind the zipper of my jeans. I opened my jeans one-handed, pushed them down, and jerked myself while sucking Jack. My rhythm on Jack faltered, but he didn’t seem to care.
“I’m…” he said, breathless.
I took him into the back of my throat and swallowed around him.
His body tensed, his muscles hardened, and his cock pulsed in my mouth. His load shot down my throat, and I drank him down. My orgasm followed, and I lost myself in the pleasure of both giving and receiving.
I’d just blown my best friend. My temporary boyfriend. And it was one of the hottest experiences of my life. Confusion and doubt should have been zipping through my mind, but all I felt was a sense of…peace. Of rightness.
I pulled off, pressed a kiss to Jack’s softening cock, and lowered my head onto his thigh. Coarse hairs tickled my cheek as I caught my breath. Jack’s fingers combed through my hair.
“Thank you,” he whispered. I raised my head to peer into his eyes. Something shone in them, as if he were thanking me for more than a blow job.
And maybe I’d given him more than a blow job. Our gazes held.
But then he grinned crookedly, and the moment was gone. “I guess we need to clean up the floor.”
I snorted. “Wait here. I’ll take care of everything.” I pressed a quick kiss on his lips.
I rose on unsteady legs, made my way to the bathroom, and returned with a warm, damp washcloth for Jack. He cleaned himself while I quietly took care of my mess with paper towels and spray cleaner.
Jack adjusted his jeans. “Are you opening the shop tomorrow morning?” His voice was soft in the quiet apartment.
“Of course.” I disposed of the paper towels, returned the cleaner to its place under the sink, and washed my hands.
Jack ran his fingers through his tousled hair, a gesture that was both vulnerable and endearing. “I should probably let you get some sleep.”
“Stay.” The word slipped out before I could consider its implications.
Spending the night wasn’t part of our agreement, and there was no convenient power outage to justify sharing a bed tonight.
But I couldn’t bear the thought of watching him leave, of losing the warmth of his presence beside me for the few hours before dawn.
His eyes found mine, surprise and something deeper flickering across his features. “Are…are you sure?”
I wasn’t sure of anything anymore—except that I wanted him here. “Stay,” I repeated, softer this time.
The smile that spread across his face was like the sunrise breaking over the mountains. “Okay.”
In bed, as we lay woven together in the quiet darkness, Jack’s fingers traced lazy patterns on my back. I felt simultaneously exhausted and more awake than I’d ever been. My body hummed with contentment while my mind raced.
What had just happened? What did it mean?
I should ask, should clarify, should say something. But the words wouldn’t come. I was afraid that speaking would break this perfect moment, would force us to define something I wasn’t ready to name yet.
So instead, I pressed closer to Jack’s warmth and let my eyes close as his heartbeat steadied beneath my ear. He tightened his arm around me and brushed a kiss against my temple that felt more intimate than anything we’d just shared.
“Sleep,” he murmured, and I drifted off with his fingers still tracing patterns on my skin.
My last coherent thought before sleep claimed me was a question I had no answer for: Was this still temporary, or had we already veered into something that would continue past our deadline? And did the difference even matter when being with Jack felt like the best relationship I’d ever had?