Chapter 40
Blaze
‘Get up.’ My voice slices through the air, sharp as freshly forged steel.
Fox grunts and opens one eye. He peers groggily at the dagger brandished at his throat, still half asleep. ‘And good morning to you too, Storm Weaver.’
‘I said, get up.’
‘As much as I enjoy it when you threaten me, could it perhaps wait until after breakfast?’
I grit my teeth. Slowly, I sheath Silverclaw and get to my feet.
Fox props himself up on his elbows, bemused. ‘Well, aren’t you just a ray of sunshine. And there was me thinking we were getting on rather well last night.’
My face grows hot. He’s still covered in blood – bone-dry and flaking – but I can pinpoint the many smears and smudges that indicate exactly where I’d touched him, the memory of that kiss imprinted on his body as well as in my mind.
He smirks a little. ‘Seems a shame to get rid of the evidence,’ he says as he reaches for the waterskin and douses himself clean.
My blush deepens. Faintly glowing embers hiss as I aim a kick at the smouldering remains of the fire. Then I turn away and begin to pace furiously, my fists clenched.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or am I just supposed to guess?’ Fox asks, sitting back against a tree, his chest glistening in the dappled light.
‘I’m surprised you can’t work it out given how well you seem to know me,’ I snap. ‘So well, in fact, that you apparently knew more about my past than I did.’
I pull Sifa’s Eye from my pocket and hurl it straight at his face. He snatches it out of the air before it can meet its mark.
There’s an almost seismic shift in his demeanour as he unfurls his fingers.
‘What have you done?’ Fox demands.
‘What have I done?’ I splutter. ‘You’re the one who went snooping through my family tree and then just conveniently forgot to mention that for the last seventeen years I have been living a lie.
And don’t even try to deny it, because while you might know me, I know you, and this wouldn’t be the first time you’ve kept something like this to yourself. ’
He grimaces. ‘How much do you know?’
‘I know that I’m Demari,’ I spit. ‘And that you are a liar.’
‘I never lied to you. I just … didn’t tell you the whole truth.’
‘That’s the same as lying.’
‘What was I supposed to do?’ Fox shoots back.
‘Just tap you on the shoulder and say, Oh, by the way, remember that storm you summoned as a baby which almost drowned the empire? So that was actually a result of the Magi blood you inherited from your real grandfather, who, as it turns out, is River, the Aquatori trainer.’
‘Yes,’ I say fiercely.
Fox gives up sparring with me. ‘I should’ve told you.’
‘Why didn’t you, then?’
He exhales before getting to his feet. ‘I appreciate you’re upset –’
‘Try furious.’
‘– but it felt cruel to just spring this on you. I told you about Demari in the hope that you’d, you know …’ He gestures wordlessly. ‘Figure it out.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ I say in a voice so remarkably like Grandmother’s that it’s almost frightening. ‘But in case you hadn’t noticed, there’s been rather a lot going on recently, and I haven’t exactly had time to sit and reflect on your cryptic little mind games.’
‘This was never a game to me, Blaze.’
‘Then what is it, Fox?’
He flinches. Last night I’d said his name like a plea. Today it’s a punishment.
‘Look, I was waiting for the right time, but now I realize there wasn’t one. And if I’m being entirely honest –’
‘There’s a first,’ I interject.
‘I told myself that I was merely shielding you from the truth, not concealing it; that I was acting solely in your interests rather than mine,’ he says.
‘Because I knew that this would change things between us. I know these past few weeks have been hard, but being with you has felt so … easy.’ He swallows. ‘And I didn’t want to ruin it.’
For a moment I feel myself soften. Yet when I speak, my voice is hard. ‘Too late.’
‘I’m sorry, all right? I am.’
This takes me by surprise. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Fox apologize to anyone before. ‘I suppose you weren’t the only one who didn’t tell me,’ I concede. ‘All this time, Grandmother knew what I was, and she knew why. And then there’s River …’
‘I’m sure they were just trying to protect you,’ Fox offers.
But that was the wrong thing to say.
‘Will everyone just stop protecting me?’ I half yell. ‘I’m sick and tired of being treated like a little girl who doesn’t know her own mind!’
He holds his hands up in surrender. ‘You’re right.’
Some of my rage seems to evaporate, and I lean against Cedar’s flank, fingering the tiny braids Fox has woven through the horse’s mane.
Silence stretches between us. My mind is spinning. A thousand questions clamour and claw like a flock of birds.
‘My mother,’ I say eventually. ‘She was Demari too, but she was born Ignitia.’
Fox nods. ‘The purity of the Harglade bloodline made it the more potent, but when it was mixed with Magi blood …’ He lets out a low whistle. ‘While your aunts could conjure flames, your mother could create an inferno.’
‘But then what about her Choosing? Why didn’t she win?’
‘Given the unpredictable nature of her gift, I believe your grandmother advised her that it might be best if she … didn’t.’
My eyes widen. ‘You mean –’
‘That your mother lost on purpose,’ Fox confirms. ‘She let her eldest sister take the crown, then hid herself away on your father’s coastal estate where any threat of wildfires was swallowed by the sea.’
My nails cut like little scythes into my palms. ‘Did she ever discover what she really was?’
He shakes his head. ‘I doubt it. I believe your grandmother would’ve taken the secret to her grave, all to protect the reputation of her House.’
‘If my mother was so powerful, then how did she die in childbirth?’ I ask quietly.
‘Demari blood is strong. It can withstand a number of ailments and infections. It’s why you were able to survive that snake bite, for example. But your mother … she lost too much of that blood.’
A cloud of drizzle forms, droplets clinging to my eyelashes.
‘As for River,’ Fox adds, ‘the strength of his blood has weakened with age. That’s why he wasn’t able to defeat my uncle at the Binding Ceremony.’
‘And what of my brothers?’ I ask. ‘This makes them Demari, too.’
‘Like your mother, Flint was born Ignitia. While his gifts were never dangerous like hers, they were exceptional. If it weren’t for his more hedonistic pursuits –’ I glower in warning – ‘then he would’ve been more than a match for Ember. As for Renly …’
‘He has no gift at all,’ I finish sadly.
‘Not yet,’ Fox points out.
I exhale shakily, feeling my magic stir beneath my skin – potent in its impurity, the product of a secret so big it swallows me whole. I need to speak to Grandmother, yet part of me never wants to speak to her again. For years I believed myself to be twisted. A monster. And she just let me.
‘I’m … I’m so angry,’ I whisper.
Charred logs crunch underfoot as Fox makes his way over to me and runs a hand across Cedar’s muscular flank. ‘I understand how you feel.’
‘How?’ I demand. ‘How could you possibly understand?’
Fox scratches his neck. ‘Here goes nothing,’ he mutters. ‘Remember when you asked why I was searching for the Eye of the Past?’
‘Yes,’ I reply. ‘You told me there were some questions you wanted the answers to, and when I asked what they were, you said, quite irritatingly I might add, You can’t have all my secrets, Storm Weaver.’
Laughter catches in his throat. ‘I must say, that was flatteringly verbatim. Exactly how many of our conversations have you memorized by heart?’
I flush.
Fox grins. ‘Anyway. These answers I was searching for – they were about my family.’
‘The Castellions?’
‘No,’ he says. ‘The Calloways.’
‘Why?’
‘After the Cleaving, when power like I’d never known burst out of me and almost destroyed the empire, I began to wonder whether there was something I was missing.’
I inhale sharply. ‘What’re you saying?’
‘I’m saying …’ Fox trails off as he rakes a hand through his hair. ‘I’m saying that Healer’s hands were not all I inherited from my grandmother.’
The ground seems to tilt beneath my feet.
‘You’re Demari too,’ I breathe.
Fox smiles. ‘Haven’t I always said that you and I are more alike than you think?’
My chest constricts and my arms fall to my sides as I take a stumbling step backwards.
‘Like yours, my mother was an Heir,’ he continues. ‘She too was forced to conceal her true abilities, even from my father.’
He reaches out to brush his fingertips lightly against mine, and I see Kestrel Calloway. I see her strange, beautiful magic. Barren forests bursting into bloom. Flowers enchanted never to die. A pair of falcon’s wings springing forth from her shoulder blades.
All I can do is blink.
‘Oh, and just one more thing,’ Fox adds. ‘Do you, by any chance, happen to recall saying that if you didn’t know any better you’d think I could … speak to Cedar?’
I turn my head to stare at him. ‘Yes,’ I say slowly. ‘Why?’
‘Well –’ Fox clears his throat – ‘that’s because I sort of … can.’
There is a long, stunned silence.
‘You … you what?’ I yelp.
‘Though I suppose it’s not so much speaking as communicating,’ he explains. ‘We have a shared line of thought which enables us to converse telepathically.’
I think I might topple over.
‘I have the same connection with Scout,’ Fox continues, trying not to laugh. ‘With all creatures, really. My grandfather was Terrathian, but my grandmother came from Serolia. She was a Mage with the ability to communicate with animals.’
‘You can … speak … to animals,’ I say weakly.
‘Again, it’s not really, technically, speaking, but essentially …’ He shrugs. ‘Yes.’
Recognition sparks. ‘The wolf …’
‘He begged me to help him. I couldn’t just leave him in that cage.’
Any more and I fear my heart may give out, but I can’t help asking, ‘So … so you can communicate with any animal? All animals?’
‘Yes and no. Some, like beetles for example, are far less interesting to engage with than, say, a mountain lion. I’ve learned to tune out the thoughts of less complex animals. Otherwise things would get pretty overwhelming.’
I swallow. ‘And Cedar and Scout, you can hear what they’re thinking?’
Fox nods.
‘Can you hear them now?’
Another nod.
‘What’re they saying?’
He glances at them, then back at me. ‘Honestly, they both think I’m a selfish prick for not telling you all of this sooner.’
I choke on a laugh, which quickly turns into a sob. My legs buckle and I sink to the ground, overcome.
Fox kneels in front of me. ‘I’ve always known I was different,’ he says softly.
‘My sister too. It’s why I never fully accepted that Freya succumbed to the sweating sickness.
Such an infection couldn’t have killed a Demari.
But it … it seems our uncle knew what we were.
Or at least suspected. I believe Balen would’ve attempted to recruit us both if Freya’s death hadn’t been prophesied to unlock the full destructive potential of my power.
Besides, she was far too gentle to be of use to him.
’ His voice is bitter, brittle. ‘So he killed her. I created the Rift, but he created a villain – one he could hide behind.’
My chest aches.
‘And me?’ I whisper. ‘Does he know that I’m Demari too?’
‘I expect he’s known since the day you were born. But if the storm wasn’t indication enough, he decided to try a different experiment. D’you remember, at your Name Day ball, when he asked you to … perform?’
I cover my mouth with my hands. ‘He raised his broken glass to me as Grandmother dragged me away. He was smiling.’
‘He knew he was right about you,’ Fox says gently, prising my hands away from my face. ‘He was planning on collecting you, just as he intended to collect me – to swell the ranks of his Demari army and use it to take the Imperial crown.’
‘If only you knew what he has in store for you,’ I whisper. ‘That’s what your grandfather said to me before the Binding Ceremony. He was foretelling the future.’
‘He was foretelling a future,’ Fox corrects. ‘The future is an ever-changing tide. The slightest decision can cause it to take a new course.’
But I’m no longer listening. I wrench my hands from his grip, stagger to my feet and begin stuffing things into his satchel, still reeling. ‘We can’t afford to waste any more time. We have to go to the Lagoon, now.’
‘And you’re still convinced that’s where you sent the missing Eye?’
‘Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Well, what if it’s some place even more … meaningful?’
‘More meaningful than my future home?’ I say, a note of irritation creeping into my voice. ‘In any case, that’s where Flint’s headed. Perhaps he’s already there.’
‘But –’
‘We don’t have time for this,’ I growl. ‘I’m going to the Lagoon and I’m going to find my brother. If you try to stop me I’ll freeze you where you stand. So, you have two options. You can either come with me, or stay here and make friends with the squirrels.’
Fox rolls his eyes as he bites back a smirk. ‘All right, you win.’
I nod curtly before snatching up various pots and potions from the pile still strewn across the forest floor.
‘Careful with those,’ he warns, taking a small jar of sage leaves from my hands. ‘I’ll do this. You ready Cedar.’
For the sake of time I don’t protest. I fumble with the reins while Fox meticulously packs up the rest of his supplies, slipping the last remaining vial into his pocket.
He crosses to me just as I’m finishing tacking up.
‘Blaze?’
My name sounds different on his lips. I like it more than I should.
‘What?’ I ask, without turning round.
‘I want you to know that I’m really sorry about this,’ Fox says, before clamping a hand over my mouth and nose.
Something strong and sharp-smelling fills my nostrils. I jerk my head and let out a muffled scream before inhaling even more vapour from whatever insidious ointment coats his palm.
What is he doing?
What is he doing?
I buck and writhe, my fingernails scratching frantically at his arms until my movements begin to grow slow and sluggish.
I stop fighting. My body turns limp.
But before I slip into unconsciousness, my gaze latches on to Fox’s, my eyes wide and wild and so full of betrayal that I hope he feels it in his bones.