Chapter 23 #2
“I’m not really sure how else to explain it. One moment, I’m looking through to what’s being shown, and then it’s like a mental door opens, and I just fall through it. It’s like when you fall asleep, and your brain throws you right into a dream. I can’t control it. It just happens.”
“And what happens once you fall through?” Nova asked.
I considered. “Okay, this is going to sound random, but stick with me here. Have you ever read or seen a version of “‘A Christmas Carol?’”
Nova’s eyebrows drew together. “What the hell does—”
“Just answer the question.”
“Of course I have. What, do you think I live under a rock or something?”
I ignored the question. “Do you remember how the ghosts take Scrooge to visit all these places, some of them in the past, some in the present, and some in the future, but each time, he’s not really there?
He can see and hear everything that’s happening, but no one can see or hear him. It’s almost like he’s the ghost.”
Nova still looked confused, but she nodded.
“Well, that’s what it’s like. I’m watching things play out as this sort of… invisible observer. It’s like eavesdropping. It’s also what happened when I went into Sarah’s—”
I cut myself off. Damn it. I’d never told Nova about that.
“Wait, hold up, what about Sarah?” She pounced on my words like a cat on a rodent.
I was a terrible liar, even when I had time to plan my lies, so I knew there was no point trying to wing it. “The night Sarah Crossed. I… she wanted me to understand how it all started. She pulled me into her memories.”
“WHAT?!”
“Not just me! Jess was inside the Circle, so she saw everything that Sarah showed me, too,” I said, as though that made it any better.
“You said she wanted you to understand. Understand what, exactly? What is there to understand? She betrayed all of us,” Nova snapped.
“She wanted me to see how the Darkness lured her in,” I said. “She seemed to think that I… I didn’t know why the temptation was so great. She thought that, once I’d seen it, I would understand why she joined him—why she was still trying to join him, all these centuries later.”
“And you just… just let her?” Nova asked, her mouth hanging open now.
“I asked her to,” I admitted.
“Why? Why would you do that?” Nova cried, slapping her hand down onto the bed, where her pillows muffled the sound. “Goddess above, Wren, didn’t you learn anything from what happened to Bernadette?”
“It wasn’t like—”
“That’s exactly what Bernadette told us, remember?
That she thought maybe no one understood Sarah, the same way no one ever seemed to understand Bernadette.
All it took was one attempt to connect, and Sarah just…
just leeched into her like a parasite. How could you let her in like that, Wren, when you know what she could do? ”
“Nova, look, I know it sounds bad, but it really wasn’t. It was… helpful.”
“How?! How could it possibly be helpful?”
“Because I’m the new Sarah!”
The words burst out of me before I could stop them. Nova gasped, her face transfixed with horror.
“Nova, just listen for a minute, please,” I said, wincing at the note of desperation in my voice.
“When Sarah first encountered the Darkness, she didn’t understand what it was.
She didn’t know what it truly wanted from her until she was in too deep to say no.
But seeing it all through her eyes was like…
a warning. It showed me how the Darkness lured her in and manipulated her. ”
Nova’s posture was relaxing by degrees. Her expression slackened just slightly as I spoke.
“Ever since I saw into her memories, I’ve decided that the best way to protect myself—to protect all of us—is to learn everything I possibly can about the Darkness.
Haven’t you ever heard the old adage, ‘know your enemy’?
That’s what I’m doing, okay? I’m not Sarah.
I’m not Bernadette. I’m not being lured or manipulated.
I’m arming myself with knowledge, because it’s the only way I can think of to face what’s ahead of me. ”
“What do you mean? What’s ahead of you?”
I smiled sadly. “You don’t really think the Darkness has just given up, do you?”
Nova bit her lip. “I guess I was kind of hoping it had. It’s been so quiet for so long.”
“I did, too, but I know better now. I don’t know for sure yet what it’s waiting for, but I’m not going to just cross my fingers and hope it forgets about me. The Darkness doesn’t forget.”
“But… the Covenant. Doesn’t that protect you?” Nova asked. “I mean, that’s the whole point of it, isn’t it? With the Covenant in place, the Darkness can’t access the Source, right? Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?”
“That’s true,” I said. “The Darkness itself can’t access the Source, but the Covenant doesn’t prevent another witch from accessing the Source for the Darkness.
There’s no way to bind us from the power of the Source.
We’re too connected to it here. So that means that all it takes is for one of us to turn, just like Sarah turned, and the Darkness will have all the power it wants. ”
Nova bit her lip. “And you think the Darkness knows that?”
“I’m sure it does.”
“So then… what’s stopping the Darkness from trying to turn every witch in the Cove until it finally finds someone weak or corrupt enough to join with it?” Nova asked, and though she was clearly trying to stay calm, her voice was creeping up in pitch.
“Because not just any witch will do,” I said. “It has to be a pentamaleficus.”
“Like you.”
“Like me.”
Nova ran her hands over her face and up into her hair. “And now you’re looking for it. Like, actively?”
“Yes.”
“And that doesn’t feel like kind of a stupid thing to do?” she asked.
“Look, I’ve got two choices here. I can just go about my life and try to forget about the Darkness, knowing that it hasn’t forgotten about me, and be a little better than a sitting duck.
Or, I can take control. I can learn what I can and be prepared.
I was a sitting duck once before, and I nearly didn’t live to see my third birthday.
I’m not taking that chance again. If the Darkness wins, it won’t be because I didn’t arm myself.
I will be as ready as I can be, even if it’s not enough. ”
Nova’s eyes were bright, but she was too stubborn to let any tears fall.
“I still think it’s dangerous,” she whispered.
“Oh, it’s definitely dangerous,” I agreed. “But compared to the alternative?”
We sat in silence for a few seconds, unable to stop ourselves from contemplating that alternative.
“Nova, promise me you won’t tell anyone. About the tidepool.”
Nova glared at me. “Why?”
“Because everyone’s going to worry, just like you did. My mom and my aunts… they don’t understand. They think I can find everything I need to know about the Darkness in old books and documents, or by flipping tarot cards until my fingers bleed. If they knew I was doing this, they’d go ballistic.”
“Maybe they should,” Nova countered. “Maybe there’s a safer way for you to do this.”
“Maybe,” I conceded. “But they won’t see it that way. They’ll want me to stop altogether, and I can’t do that, not now.”
Nova was silent for a full minute, chewing aggressively at the inside of her cheek. Finally, she huffed out an indignant sigh.
“Fine. I’ll keep your secret. But if I find you face down in a tidepool again, I’m not resuscitating you.”
I smirked. “Deal.”
Nova very nearly smirked in return—her face twitched, at any rate. Then she folded her arms and fixed me with an absolutely penetrating stare. “So?”
“So… what?”
“So you’ve been sucked into visions. You’ve been ‘arming yourself with knowledge,’” she said, adding sarcastic air quotes. “So what have you learned? What are these visions of?”
I hesitated, and the effect on Nova was instantaneous. Her face darkened like a storm cloud, and she clenched her fists into weapons.
“Wren.”
All she said was my name, and I knew I would have no choice but to tell her everything I’d learned.
And so I did. I talked and talked, even though my body was fighting sleep, and my voice was hoarse.
I talked until I’d told her every detail I could think of.
By the time I had finished, she was sitting with her hands pressed to her mouth, and her knees pulled almost up to her chin.
“So… now you’re caught up,” I told her.
“Holy shit.”
“I know.”
“I…”
“Yup.”
“What the hell?”
“What indeed?”
She dropped her hands to her sides, still staring at me like I might suddenly detonate like an explosive.
“And now it’s your turn,” I said.
Her face slackened. “Huh?”
“You’re the one who invited me here tonight, remember?” I reminded her.
“Oh!” I could tell from the expression on her face that she had genuinely forgotten this fact. “I… goddess, I don’t even know where to start.”
It was that moment when the front doorbell rang.